Author: Nia Williams, Certified Relationship Coach & Conflict Resolution Specialist

Last updated: July 2025

Reviewed by: Licensed Relationship Coach, Nia Williams

1. Understanding the Reasons Behind Repeated Contact

When trying to figure out what to do when an ex won’t stop contacting you, understanding their motivations is critical. Persistent contact can stem from:

– Emotional dependency or unresolved feelings
– Control dynamics or narcissistic traits
– Guilt, confusion, or denial about the breakup
– Fear of abandonment or codependency
– Impulsive behavior, especially when mental health issues are involved

2. Signs That Contact Has Crossed a Line

You may still be in the grey area between occasional messages and emotional intrusion. Ask yourself:

– Is the contact frequent, unsolicited, or disrespectful?
– Are they ignoring your requests for space?
– Do you feel anxious, drained, or fearful after every interaction?
– Are they showing up at your home, work, or social events uninvited?

3. 7 Proven Steps to Stop Unwanted Communication

1. Clearly State Your Boundaries – Once

Craft a calm but firm message:

“Please respect my need for space. I do not want any further communication. I wish you well.”

This direct approach sets the tone for what follows.

2. Cut Off All Access Points

– Block their number and email
– Restrict or block them on social media platforms (Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook)
– Turn off read receipts to discourage obsessional behavior

3. Go No-Contact Without Guilt

Every text you reply to is perceived as permission to continue. This reinforces the cycle.

Expert Tip: No-contact is not cruel. It’s an act of self-protection and a vital tool in trauma-informed recovery.

4. Document Every Instance of Contact

Create a secure file that logs:

– Timestamps
– Screenshots
– Voicemails or in-person sightings

5. Inform Close Friends or Family Members

Having someone in the loop adds:

– Accountability for your boundaries
– A support system if emotions run high
– An eyewitness if your ex shows up unexpectedly

6. Seek Professional Support

A licensed therapist, life coach, or trauma counselor can guide you through:

– Emotional detox
– Trauma-informed boundary setting
– Long-term psychological recovery

7. Take Legal Action If Harassment Persists

If your ex continues despite clear communication and blocking efforts, you may need to:

– File for a restraining order
– Report harassment or stalking to law enforcement
– Consult with a family law attorney

4. When It Becomes Harassment: Know Your Legal Rights

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, ongoing, unwanted contact can constitute emotional abuse, harassment, or stalking under federal and state laws.

Helpful Resources:

– National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org
– Cyber Civil Rights Initiative: https://www.cybercivilrights.org
– Legal Aid for Domestic Violence Survivors: https://www.womenslaw.org

5. How to Heal and Rebuild After Persistent Contact

Once you’ve reclaimed your space, it’s time to focus inward:

– Journal your experience to process trauma
– Reconnect with supportive friendships
– Explore hobbies that re-anchor your identity
– Practice self-validation instead of seeking external reassurance

Therapeutic methods like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), EMDR, or mindfulness can accelerate recovery.

6. Final Words: Take Back Your Peace and Autonomy

If you’re wondering what to do when an ex won’t stop contacting you, the short answer is this: You are not obligated to tolerate it. You deserve freedom, clarity, and healing. Whether it takes a blocked number, therapy, or a court order—you have the right to enforce peace in your life.