The Relationship Schema Quiz by Miss Date Doctor is a clinically informed, psychology-based assessment designed to help you identify the unconscious relationship patterns shaping how you experience love, intimacy, conflict, and emotional safety.

Grounded in attachment theory, cognitive psychology, and schema therapy, this quiz explores how early experiences, repeated relationship dynamics, and emotional learning influence your expectations of yourself and others. Your results highlight your dominant relationship schema and provide guidance for healthier, more secure connections.

1. When someone gets emotionally close to you, you usually feel:

Comfortable and connected Excited but worried they might pull away A bit suffocated or pressured Drawn in but uneasy or tense

2. If a partner doesn’t reply quickly, your first thought is:

They’re probably busy I’ve done something wrong I’m glad I have space Something feels off

3. In relationships, you tend to believe:

I am worthy of love and care I need reassurance to feel secure I’m better off relying on myself Love is unpredictable and risky

4. During conflict, your instinct is to:

Talk it through calmly Seek reassurance or closeness Withdraw or shut down Push away then pull close

5. Expressing your needs feels:

Natural and reasonable Necessary but anxiety-provoking Uncomfortable or unnecessary Risky and unsafe

6. When a relationship feels stable, you:

Relax into it Stay alert for changes Feel restless or bored Feel relieved yet suspicious

7. Your emotional default in relationships is:

Trust Anxiety Detachment Vigilance

8. When someone depends on you emotionally:

I’m generally okay with it I worry about disappointing them I feel trapped I feel overwhelmed

9. Your past relationships tend to:

Be relatively stable Be intense and emotional End when things get close Swing between closeness and distance

10. If a partner criticises you, you usually:

Reflect and respond Feel rejected Shut down Feel attacked

11. You believe love should be:

Safe and mutual Constantly reassuring Low maintenance Passionate but unpredictable

12. When dating someone new, you:

Enjoy the process Attach quickly Keep emotional distance Feel unsure and guarded

13. Your biggest relationship fear is:

Losing connection temporarily Being abandoned Losing independence Being betrayed

14. You feel most triggered when:

Conflict is unresolved Someone pulls away Someone needs too much Emotions feel chaotic

15. In intimacy, you tend to:

Be open and responsive Overthink and seek reassurance Stay guarded Swing between openness and shutdown

16. Your self-talk in relationships is often:

“We can work this out” “I hope I’m enough” “I don’t need anyone” “I can’t fully trust this”

17. When a relationship ends, you:

Grieve and recover Obsess and self-blame Feel relief Feel devastated yet numb

18. Emotional closeness feels:

Nourishing Necessary but scary Intrusive Unstable

19. You believe others will:

Generally support me Leave eventually Disappoint or restrict me Hurt me if I’m not careful

20. Deep down, you see relationships as:

A secure base A source of validation A loss of freedom A mix of desire and danger

Relationship Schema Quiz

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