How to know if you are feeling used or being used?
Why do so many people end up feeling used after a relationship?
What are the emotions we feel when we feel used?
The five most common things people end up feeling used for
How to get over the feeling of being used?
Seek Help if Important:

If you are feeling used in a relationship, it is going to create a bundle of emotions in you. Nobody wants to feel this way, but sadly, it happens to a lot of people around us.

Relationships are built on the basic rule of give and take. The ratio of giving and taking varies, depending on the situation. For instance, if your partner is going through a hard time, you will have to give them more. But it is quite evident when the relationship seems “too much” one-sided. If you feel that your bond is all about them and not that much about you, then you are definitely being used for their own benefit.


Some people are good at judging when they are feeling used, but many times, you cannot smell the danger. People use others in a relationship, in very sneaky ways as they are good at making excuses. It is difficult when your sense of judgment is clouded and the way you feel about someone makes you unaware of the reality of possibly being used. But we are here to help you. We have summed up all the required information that will help you decipher whether you are being used or not.

How to know if you are feeling used or being used?

If you are feeling used, then here are some surefire signs that your suspicions might be right.

  • Your life is circling around their schedule:

If your relationship is working around their schedule, then this is a massive sign that you are being used. It is not only unfair to you but is a screaming sign that your partner is not in love with you. They are probably using you for their benefit. If your partner only meets you when it is convenient for them and makes lame excuses whenever you demand to hang out, then you need to let them go. As said above, relationships are a give and take bond, and you need to see whether your partner is giving you the same amount of energy or not. One person should never be the priority you are both a priority.


  • You are the ONLY one Apologising:

Every couple disagrees with one another. Disagreements are a part of every relationship. Many people get mean, but then, there is always a solution to the problem, and the issue gets resolved. However, YOU should not be the only one apologizing every time. Not every problem may arise because of you. Manipulative partners make sure that they do not apologize. They make sure that you have to apologize each time, even if you are the one who is hurting. Understand this behavior before it is too late it is narcisstic and can lead to you being used and everything being on your partners terms.

  • Your partner has no interest in learning more about you:

The beginning of a relationship is quite hot in bed, but remember that you have a life outside the bedroom too. This life defines your relationship. If your partner is fantastic in bed but does not care about what you like and dislike, outside the bedroom, then, he/she lacks interest in you. And there is no point investing in such a relationship. A bond is two-sided, and if you are feeling used, then you need to stop investing in them.

  • Your needs are overlooked:

Everyone has expectations when they enter a relationship. Even though it is impossible to fulfill all expectations, your partner must pay attention to you what you need. If you are the only one making an effort, all the time, then you are right about feeling used. They are not indulged in you a lot, to go the extra mile for you. This is a red flag, and you certainly deserve better.

If you are feeling used and all of these signs are evidently visible in your relationship, then the best solution is to end it. Your gut instinct is always right, and it is best to go with it.

Why do so many people end up feeling used after a relationship?

Heartbreaks or the end of a relationship hit you quite hard. A lot of people take breakups harder than others, and this is dependent on your beliefs, social support and self confidence that you can find someone else.. The healthier way to end a relationship is to look at what it taught you. This helps you in realizing what you want in your next commitment. But, when this behavior is overdone, it can end up badly as people begin to question their worth because the loss of a partner makes you feel used and insignificant. It is easy to embrace self-deprecation and blame yourself for everything.


For some people, the loss of a partner is more like a loss of oneself. Studies have shown that the most common response that is heard by people who have just gone through heartbreak is that they are feeling used. They state that their self-image has changed massively, and they did not notice it until the breakup you feel discarded, betrayed and rejected.

So why do so many people end up feeling used after a relationship? The end of a toxic bond usually makes people believe that they were being used all along. This is because one person puts in all the effort and goes the extra mile while the other one is busy cheating or disrupting those efforts. It makes the person feel rejected and used. Is this behavior or feeling normal? Well, it definitely is! Almost everyone who goes through a breakup experiences tons of emotions, and the “feeling of being used” is one of them. It goes away with time, and it is best to shake this thought out of your brain whenever it pops up. Try going through positive self-affirmations, which help you in realizing the importance of your self-worth and you don’t need someone to validate you.

What are the emotions we feel when we feel used?

Many people are unable to tag their emotions. They do not know what they are actually feeling in a state of heartbreak. If you are feeling used, there are usually two or three emotions that boost within us; anger, fear, and anxiety.


We feel angry because probably, we were getting the red flags. Maybe the signs mentioned above were always there, but you ignored them. It is easier to overlook issues when you love someone with all your heart. It gets easier to ignore their negative personality traits because you do not want to give up on them. Therefore, when we realize that we have been used, the first emotion is usually anger. We feel angry with ourselves that we allowed this to carry on for a long time. We feel anger, at its peak, before it crumbles into fear of worthlessness and melts down in the form of tears and abandonment which in worst case scenarios can lead to depression.

The second emotion that we feel when we are feeling used is fear. We think that we are not good enough and begin questioning our self-worth. This emotion is lethal as it can pull down any person into depression. Overcoming fear quickly is exceptionally crucial. You need to avoid the thought that tells you that you are not good enough. Fear usually boosts anxiety. This is a state of constant anxiousness where you are stressed and feel lifeless. No matter what you do, you are unable to feel good or happy. If you allow anxiety to grow, then you will have to seek professional help because it changes into depression.

Sadness is not the only emotion that one feels when they are feeling used, or they come to realize that they have been used for a long time. There is a rush of emotions that are summed up as “sadness.” We need to recognize and tag every emotion separately so that they are dealt with individually.

The five most common things people end up feeling used for

Your time and energy are precious, and you should know how to build proper boundaries around them. Don’t allow everyone to stop inside your zone and take a lot from you. If you are feeling used, you should step back and create healthy limitations. Whether it is happening in a relationship, a random friendship, or at your workplace.

There are a lot of things people end up feeling used for or things that people use other people for. But here we have summed up the 5 most common things that usually make people feel used.

  • The most common thing people end up feeling used for is sex. It is usually in relationships that end badly. You start feeling used for all the times you two were together in bed. Whether the relationship was excellent or toxic, whenever it ends, you are going to feel used physically. This is the most common thing, people in relationships end up feeling used for. Why is this so? This is because a person places an abundance of confidence in you when they allow you to indulge with them physically. Once that trust is broken, they feel used. Sex is not just a physical activity. It is the highest form of affection, and it leaves you feeling used and vulnerable if the relationship doesn’t go well.
  • The second most common thing people end up feeling used for is lending money. There are so many of our friends who ask us for help when they are in a financial crisis. And let’s agree to the fact that such people make you feel like you are being taken for granted. Lending money to someone in trouble is a great deed. But make sure that they are also there for you when you need them,otherwise, you know where you stand.
  • Another common thing that people feel used for is affection. It is saddening how people use other people for love and attention. This is happening a lot these days. One heartbroken person uses the other to get over their ex. Nothing is more devastating than this act of unkindness. Don’t indulge with anyone just because you need to be saved. Do it for yourself and do not let anyone use you because they have no other options!
  • People who do not have control over their own lives usually try to get control over others (manipulation and narcissists). Thus, they use people for their own benefit. They try gaining power over others so that they feel satisfied. This is a usually intentional act, but it makes others feel used and deceived.
  • The fifth most common thing that people end feeling used for is for material things. This is extremely common in youngsters and adults. Young, teenage couples use their partners to gain material items. Sadly, this is growing and is exploiting a lot of youngsters .Adults use people for money, connections, property and material goods

How to get over the feeling of being used?

Probably the most painful feeling to deal with, the sense of being used. It leaves you aching for a long time. But you can get over this feeling if you deal with it a little smartly. Encountering such experiences is difficult, but there is no such thing as impossible. Here are some ways to get over the emotions of feeling used.

The first step is not to allow yourself to become a victim of the situation. A lot of people love embracing their wounds and hold on to them so tightly that moving on becomes impossible. But when you realize that you have been used, your mind is going to make you the victim. You are the only one who can fight through this and block your thoughts. Get yourself busy doing something that you love. Indulge yourself in anything that boosts your self-contentment. Staying active will help you in fighting the feelings that state you as the victim. Being upset is natural, but allowing it to consume your mind entirely is not the right thing to do.

Talking back to the voice in your head that tells you that you are worthless, unlovable is another way to get over this feeling. Your self pep talk does wonders. Listen to affirmations or read them out to yourself. Your brain will react accordingly.

Once you stop the voice in your head, it is time to face your fear. Are you feeling used? Are you feeling worthless? Well, face it. Face the fact that you were too good to give affection and love to someone who wasn’t ready for it. Feel great about the abundance of love that lies within you. Cherish yourself. Face the uncertainty that you have been through and let it go.

Use this feeling to empower yourself. It can help you gain clarity. You will understand the importance of creating boundaries and why they are so crucial to protect yourself. You will also be better at realizing the red flags and understand if someone is using you or is taking you for granted.

Seek Help if Important:

Now, a lot of people are not too good at dealing with the emotions of feeling used. Some of us can get over it within no time, and that is nothing less than a blessing. But at the same time, many people are unable to dig through the situation. Thus, if you are struggling with this situation, then looking up to a professional for help is crucial. The feeling of being used can lead to anxiety and depression, and it is crucial to jump out of it.

We live in a modern world, and we are glad that counselling and life coaching is now being accepted across the globe for its amazing benefits. Miss Date Doctor is one of the best counselling/coaching companies that you can access online https://relationshipsmdd.com/relationship-counselling-london/. We are one of the best relationship counsellors and life coaches, and we deal with various types of problems that you might be facing. Whether you are single or you are in trouble relationship, or you have just broken up or need life advice and guidance, MDD provides you with incredible help. You can check out our services here https://relationshipsmdd.com/services/ and seek the best relationship advice and life coaching.


You are your only savior! If you are feeling used, you need to set your boundaries and make life easier for you. Be an empath with limits. And if you are unable to get out of this issue, then get help from MDD and get advice from us https://relationshipsmdd.com/relationship-advice/

All Services


Relationship Advice

Couples Therapy