Ending a serious relationship is tough. Whether it was a long term relationship or an engagement or maybe marriage; breakups hurt. A lot of people tend to end a relationship to get into another one. They leave no time in between to take a break from the constant loop. It might seem tempting, but it is not. When you date someone new, right after breaking a relationship then it is termed as rebound relationship.
In this piece of article, we will be walking you through the 5 stages of rebound relationships and how they affect an individual. However, before we discuss the stages of rebound relationships, we will look into the mindset of the breakup and how hurtful it is for anyone. We will also be talking about what one can do after a breakup, instead of indulging into a new one right away. So, without any further delays, let’s get into it.
The Hurt and Mindset of a Breakup
Almost all of us have been through a breakup. You feel a rush of emotions. It seems as if you are angry, confused and hurt at the same time. You feel obsessed with your ex, and there are days when you hate him/her. You will also begin to question your attractiveness and whether you are good enough for anyone. It all happens as it is the process of hurt that you go through when somebody breaks your heart. Breakups are painful, and this is why a lot of people tend to enter the stages of rebound relationships as they find it hard to get up on their own. Some are capable of picking themselves up and getting on with life, but many tend to look for a shoulder to cry on and feel loved. However, this is not the right mindset to get over your ex.
To avoid entering the stages of a rebound relationship, you need to alter your mindset. Without a shift in mindset, one cannot handle their breakup. Here are some simple things that can help you change your mindset and will aid you in getting better at life. Breakups hurt and they are painful-there is no doubt about it. But when you decide to change, you can build a very sweet life for yourself.
- You don’t have to be bitter about love:
A lot of people start hating love when they breakup. This cynical behaviour does not take you anywhere. You don’t have to be bitter about love, to move on. You need to understand that the person you were in love with was probably not in love with you. The right person will see all the right things in you and will love you for who you are. You need to love the idea of being in love. If one person did not love you fully, it doesn’t mean that no one ever will. The more you push yourself to hate love; you are going to make it harder for yourself to move on. Therefore, change your mindset and just tell yourself that you are going to love the right person whenever you find them. Love is wonderful, and a single person cannot make it bad for you.
- Stop thinking about the life you planned with them:
When you break up, you usually go into flashbacks. This is normal, and it will take some time to go away. However, you need to stop your mind on your own. If you don’t push the negative thoughts away deliberately, then they will keep haunting you. Stop thinking about whatever you planned with your partner for the future. It is not there anymore and even though the thought can be really hard to bear; you will have to change your mindset and let go of the past.
- Letting go doesn’t make you a bad person:
A lot of people don’t let go because they think that it is unethical or it will prove their love to be wrong. This concept is totally wrong. Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about the person anymore. It just means that you have let them go because they wished for it and you are happier with having control over your life. Just like you cannot control someone’s decision of leaving you; you must not allow their thoughts to ruin your life too. A switch in the mindset that you need to let go of that person for your own good is going to help you move on in a much better manner.
A swirl of change in your perspectives of thinking can make a huge change in the efforts you are putting in to move on from a breakup. It is going to be hard anyway. But you can always make an effort worth it by changing the way you think. Mindset is everything, and if you keep it positive-it can help you grow.
Stages of rebound relationships:
Now that we have discussed how you can change your mindset and move on from a breakup, we will be talking about the stages of rebound relationships. A lot of people tend to take the support of them, and they literally offer you no good. Let’s walk through the stages of rebound relationships to see what they are and how they affect an individual.
Stage 1: Finding the perfect one:
There are several reasons for a breakup, and these reasons become a huge cause of rebound. If you do not take the usual period of breakup to heal, you will get into a rebound relationship right after you break up with someone or vice versa. Now when you choose the next person to date, you make sure that he/she is completely different from your last partner. As they are completely opposite, they tend to be perfect. You will also assume that this relationship will last longer and will be highly successful. This is the first stage, and you don’t see any issues with the person because they seem to be completely different from your ex. As there are no similarities, you think that you have found THE ONE. However, this stage can be negative and positive both.
Stage 2: Honeymoon Phase:
After a bad experience, you see a 100% success rate with this new partner as they are opposite of your failed partner. Do you think that this is the guy or girl you have been searching for and you can imagine a bright future with them? This is one of the stages of relationship rebound which is termed as honeymoon phase. The relation is still new, but you will start catching a lot of signs by the end of this phase. You are enjoying getting to know someone new and your partner might not be imagining any future or the end, but you are. What you fail to realise is that this honeymoon phase is temporary. You are going to get all the comforting things like kissing, holding hands, hugs, cuddling and much more. If all you need is affection and attention then this phase might be your perfect bliss.
Stage 3: Breakdown:
You might have planned it all out, but the reality of the stages of rebound relationships is that they do not last long. Their success rate is not even close to 100%. The small things that you begin to notice after the honeymoon phase starts to become bigger things by this stage. You realise that you don’t like a lot of things about him and her and they might be a lot similar to your ex too. The same issues that you had in your previous relationship start to happen in this one too. You start seeing the end of this bond too, but you want to hold on as the reality is that you are scared of being alone. You start bottling up your feelings in this stage. The small issues that bother you are better kept off in your heart. But they are not, and they keep bottling up, which is not a good option to consider. You start ignoring your feelings. But at the same time, at this stage, you begin to understand what you actually need from a relationship. Just finding a girl or guy to move on from the previous one is not what you need and you are going to start seeping this thought in your mind.
Stage 4: Explosion:
All the feelings you were bottling up, thinking that they don’t bother, are going to haunt you now. Things will begin to tip over the edge, and they are going to come out of your mouth sarcastically. You are a time bomb by this stage, and you are ticking off with every passing minute. This comes out to be weird for your partner because they thought that everything was going well, but the problem is that they were just a rebound and they had no idea about it. The worst part about this phase is that your partner had no idea that you were in a transitional phrase which means that they are going to be left broken. This is somehow one of the most hurtful stages of a rebound relationship. You are going to face everything directly regarding the issues that ended your previous relationship. You will also realize that your breakup healing never happened and you are burdened with a substantial amount of emotional baggage.
Stage 5: THE END:
This is the last stage of a rebound relationship, but it is also the beginning of a new YOU. If you have realised all the problems by now, you are going to understand what you need in life. You are certainly going to hurt the person who was probably in love with you. But you are also going to be true to yourself. You will start seeing things clearly and how you never loved this person you are with at the moment. You will also see that the breakup you were going through was a double-sided issue and was not entirely to be blamed upon your ex. This will be the end of this relationship but the beginning of you and what you really need from life.
The consequences of relationship rebound:
After going through the stages of rebound relationships, you are going to realise that it is a good thing if you try to learn from it. There are both good and bad aspects to rebound relationships, but it is not completely negative. It is highly recommended that you do take your time off and do not enter dating again right after a breakup. However, a lot of people do not have the power or strength to manage it on their own. Thus, they take support from the stages of rebound relationships to get over their ex. The consequences of this, if seen positively, is that you learn what you want from life. You will understand the issues, and you will also know what you want in the name of love. The negative aspect of a rebound commitment is that it becomes a habit. It can change into a loop that doesn’t end. Thus, you need to be very careful before you get into this constant loop as there might be no way out.
If you think you need help, then you can look forward to MDD for help. We are one of the best online counselling and face to face services which can help you get over a breakup. It is a hurtful process, and if you wish to gain professional help then you can visit the following link https://relationshipsmdd.com/dating-breakup-packages/