Imagine, you have been talking to a girl for a few days, and you feel this weird magnetic pull towards her. Your conversation with her is pure, and you feel an obvious connection with her. She is probably not even seducing you, but her words seem to have a lot of power. The entire interaction appears to be just right it’s perfection.
You just randomly text her one day that you like hanging out with her, and you would like to do that more often. What comes next is something you probably weren’t ready for;
“I would love to do that, but I have a boyfriend, is that okay with you.”
When she says she has a boyfriend, you have two clear options. You either wave her goodbye and find someone else. Or, if you do not want to miss out on the chemistry, you both have, then you can certainly give it a try. What if there is no boyfriend? What if that boyfriend is not giving her enough love and attention? There are possibilities, and when she says she has a boyfriend, but she is also willing to hang out with you; your heart does a little happy dance.
Are you willing to take the challenge, or are you scared that you are trying to hang out with a girl who already has a boyfriend because it is immoral or a waste of time? Now you can certainly proceed to hang out with her even when she says she has a boyfriend. But there are some things you must be very clear about.
Some boys love seducing girls who are already committed, and they are devious. This is not what we are referring to at all. Being very specific, the girl should show interest in you. It should seem like she is attracted to you. If she is already in a relationship (according to her) and she is willing to meet you as well, then you can proceed. However, if she informs you that she is committed and doesn’t find it feasible to meet you often, then it is best to back off. It also shows that things might not be going really well with her other guy, who is the main reason she is okay with hanging out with you.
What to say to her when she says she has a boyfriend?
Now, when she says she has a boyfriend, you need to give a good response. You don’t want to sound desperate, and you don’t want to let her go too. So what is the best answer to give to her? Here we have summed some natural responses that won’t make you seem unreasonable in front of her when she says she has a boyfriend.
- Now, your very first response should focus on leaving her happy. If she has someone in her life, it doesn’t mean that she cannot be friends with you. Also, if you think she has shown visible interest in you, then you need to make sure that the conversation remains light and pleasant. Thus, say something positive and light. You don’t have to leave her feeling harassed or annoyed or miffed. You can say, “he is a lucky man. I hope you stay happy with him.” Or you can just finish the conversation with, “he’s a lucky man.” This is a very positive response to give, and positivity attracts women. Even if she is happy with her man, you are going to leave a very great impression on her.
- The second way to hide from your shock when she says she has a boyfriend is to be playful. Now, you might be flirting with her, but she would have been being merely friendly with you. You cannot blame her for “cheating” on you, as everyone has their definition of flirtatious. Being playful allows you to vent out the stress quickly, and it doesn’t annoy the lady as well. Just say, “Hey, you sneaky” in a light, laughing tone and let the moment pass.
- Be sincere. If you think that she showed visible interest in you, then you can clarify your feelings for her. Although stealing someone else’s girl is immoral, but it is okay if she is willing to be with you. A lot of people are unhappy in their relationships and find the spark in another one. However, with sincerity, you need to tell her that she doesn’t have to feel the same way for you and that you guys can be friends if that is what she wants.
Now, whatever response you choose to give her, you have to make sure that she is willing to stay friends with you. Also, you don’t have to annoy her or force her into a relationship with you. Spend a good time with her and give her time to decide whether she wants you or not. Be mindful and maintain a reasonable distance with her. Don’t be accessible to her all the time. Make sure you do not involve physically with her. You need to maintain a good friendship until she is out of her relationship and expresses any emotions for you. You cannot rush into it after getting 10% attention from somebody when you can quickly get a person for yourself.
Thus, the key is to stay positive, be mindful, and maintain your distance. Don’t get hopeful that you are going to get her at the end anyhow. It really is a blind game.
How to handle the situation?
Now, the situation when she says she has a boyfriend can get a little awkward. Even when you have given a positive response to her, you have to maintain a good friendship with her. This entire situation can be a little messy if you do not handle it properly.
Yes, you are trying to attract her, and maybe she is also interested in you, but you have to make sure that you handle the situation really well. If you are 100% sure that the girl is interested in you, only then it is acceptable that you try to get her. So how do you do that? How do you maintain a reasonable distance and try to get her as well?
The very first thing to understand and practice is to be available for her, ONLY when you comfortably can. The truth is that you have tons of other options out there, and you can get a single lady to fall for you as well. Thus, your routine should not be disturbed by someone who already has a boyfriend. Keep your goals intact and work hard for them. Don’t skip on the gym and hang out with your friends whenever you want to. Don’t try to make time for her in your busy routine. Your hobbies and passions should not suffer at all. Your strength as a friend is going to be the only thing that she must have access to. Do not run off to her every time she gives you a call. Let her understand that you are an independent man, and you are not wasting your hours on someone who claims to be with a guy already.
Secondly, you need to set boundaries quickly when she says she has a boyfriend. If she brings all her rants to you, then she might love you, but she will not be “in love” with you. You will be her crying shoulder. Thus, you need to set limits! You don’t have to listen to her rants all the time. You can skip her call and tell her that you are busy when she calls you in the middle of the day.
Third, you need to make her laugh. Don’t stress her out because her boyfriend might be doing that already, which is why she is willingly staying friends with you. She is definitely interested in you, but to change the course of that towards romance is also essential. Be silly, and just loosen yourself up in front of her. You don’t want to have substantial conversations with her. Just be yourself. Who doesn’t love vulnerability?
It might be possible that her man is not interested in her anymore. Thus, you need to make sure that you have productive and meaningful talks with her. You will not only get to know her, but it will also deepen your bond with her. You are trying to win a girl who already has a boyfriend you need to make sure that you stay within first and healthy boundaries but try your best to gain her trust as well. It is a time taking process, and it is a blind game too. You never know whether she will be with you at the end or not. This is why you need to set limits and carry on with your daily life in the same way because there are no guarantees.
COMPLEXITY OF HAVING FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP ALREADY:
This situation is also termed as one-sided love if the other person doesn’t seem to show any interest in you. You call it unrequited love, and it is incredibly complex. There are movies, songs, and shows that are telling tales of unrequited love. Usually, we are taught that the person who is suffering through one-sided love is severely persistent about getting the person who might already be in love with someone else. We are spoon-fed with these stories, where you are told that it is okay to rush after someone who is already in a relationship. It is unnatural and is not a fairy tale either. We are shown that it is okay to wait and snatch somebody else’s love. Until and unless the other person is interested in you, these are highly complex feelings, and if you think this is unmanageable for you, then you should get away from the person. You need to keep your mental health as a priority and then decide what you really want. Yet again, be sure that the next person is also showing signs of interest in you. Otherwise, do not get indulged in this. There is nothing heroic about one-sided love, and one must not linger on it to a dangerous extent. We need to pinpoint this issue and stop people from highlighting or fantasizing about it on social media and other major platforms. It is somehow teaching our youth to run after people who are not interested in us. It is not only shattering for one’s self-respect but it also a very complicated situation for your mental wellbeing. Keep yourself first and be mindful while making a smart decision.
Look for help:
Managing a situation as complex as being interested in someone who has a boyfriend can be pretty challenging. However, some people are good at it, and others are not. If you think that it is getting hard for you to manage the situation and you want a way out of it, then you can look up to coaching or counselling. A lot of the time, people get indulged in these scenarios so severely, that getting out of it gets tough for them. This is where they are unable to decipher what to do with their life. Therefore, opting for therapy services like MDD can be extremely helpful in getting out of this loop.
Miss Date Doctor is one of the best counseling services that you can look forward to. Whether you are struggling with a breakup or you are in love with someone who has a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you can get help for almost every situation. Handling the situation when she says she has a boyfriend can be challenging for some people. Thus, you can simply visit this link https://relationshipsmdd.com/relationship-advice-for-singles/ and choose a package that suits your needs. MDD has something to offer to everyone. The endless variety of services that we offer are one of the top reasons for our success. Everyone can look up to them for help. If you think you need an excellent and professional therapist service, then MDD is the best bet of all. They are going to help you with reasonable and unique solutions that actually work.