Philophobia

Philophobia

Love is an amazing and beautiful part of our life, but it can be frightening sometimes. Love is when you accept a person with all his qualities and flaws without complaining about anything. You two willing to spend your whole life together. It can be one-sided where when one person is totally in love, and other person is afraid to take that step.  For some people, it is a beautiful emotion full of affections, but for some people the thought of falling in love is nothing less than terrifying. These terrifying thoughts about love are linked with Philophobia. Let’s have a look at Philophobia’s meaning, its symptoms, signs, and cure.

Philophobia definition

Philophobia meaning is fear of love. Philophobia word is a combination of two Greek words, “Philos,” meaning loving and “Phobos,” meaning fear. According to Philophobia definition, it is an unreasonable and overwhelming fear to fall in love with someone beyond a typical apprehensive about it. It is so intense that it interferes with the life of a person.

A very interesting fact about Philophobia is that it is more common in women than men. A very popular sufferer from Philophobia may have been Queen Elizabeth I.

A person suffering from Philophobia finds it difficult to connect with people. It has some similar traits like other phobias, especially with social phobias. Philophobia is not talked about a lot and rarely described by doctors in literature, so it can prove challenging for people suffering from Philophobia to find help dealing with it. Still, it is necessary to get treatment; otherwise, it will negatively impact your life and effects sufferers deeply.

Do I have Philophobia?

Philophobia definition says that it is an unreasonable fear to fall in love but how to know that a person has Philophobia? What are its signs? Understanding signs is very helpful as you can deal with the problem at a very early stage. Symptoms of Philophobia vary from person to person, and every person experiences differently. Let’s have a look at some of the symptoms of Philophobia, fear of love:

Psychological symptoms

People who have Philophobia run for their lives even if they don’t have any insight into romance. Here are some of the psychological symptoms of Philophobia:

Can’t forget about your past: If you are wondering, do I have Philophobia? Look for this sign. Those who are scared to fall in love have a lot of emotional baggage from past relationships. This makes moving on difficult for them.

Scared of falling in love and getting hurt: Are you scared of falling in love and getting hurt? Well, it is a clear sign that you have Philophobia. You think that every person has the intention to hurt you, and they are here to crush your heart. You are scared to get damaged and left alone.

Can’t open up to others: People usually get scared of the emotional attachment that love brings with itself. And it is not just about romantic relationships but also about friendships. It is not that you are antisocial; you may have a lot of friends, but just are not comfortable with showing your true self.

Love your single status: You love your single life and can’t imagine sharing your life with someone else. You think that it is your comfort zone.

When in a relationship, you feel like your caged: You think that being in a relationship means the end of your life. When you think that you have to commit to someone after dating, you get a panic attack.

Physical symptoms

Physical symptoms will not be the same for every person. It depends on the severity of the disease and also the personality of the person. If you are wondering, Do I have Philophobia? here are some of the most common physical symptoms of Philophobia:

  • rapid heartbeat
  • extreme anxiety
  • panic attacks
  • shortness of breath
  • excessive sweating
  • Inability to Relax
  • Being quick-tempered
  • Problems Concentrating
  • Feelings of dizziness
  • extreme fear
  • Prickly sensations like needles and pins
  • Palpitations
  • Aches & Pains
  • Fatigue
  • Sticky and dry mouth
  • crying

Symptoms of Philophobia are uncontrollable and automatic; these can take over the thoughts of a person. Sometimes it may seem like a person is getting better, but it is not the case. The individual is just pretending that they can live with it, but it is not the case. In a large numberof cases the individual will pretend there is no issue

Am I scared to fall in love quiz?

We all are afraid of something. It is not a bad thing, but how to find if someone is afraid of love? I have mentioned some of the signs that can help you in understanding if you are afraid to love. When you are afraid to fall in love, you find excuses not to date. Even if you date and start a relationship when they ask you to commit, you get panicked. You ruin all the connection you had with your partner, just because you are scared. You say things like, “I am not ready for this,” or you break up. These all are a clear sign that you are suffering from Philophobia. If you want to be sure, take this “Am I scared to fall in love quiz?” and you will know:

  • Did your previous relationship end badly?
  • Do you think relationships bound you, and you can’t be yourself?
  • Do you think if you fall in love, that person will hurt you?
  • Do you make excuses when your friends try to fix you on a date?
  • Even if you go on a date, do you make foolish excuses to reject them? for instance, “I am not the relationship type.”
  • Does it feel good when a date does not go well?
  • Is it difficult for you to trust someone?
  • Do you think you are not good enough and will be rejected?
  • Do you think you will lose your independence and your identity?
  • Do you feel like that person will invade your privacy?

I have chosen the questions for this “Am I scared to fall in love quiz?” very carefully. If your answer to these questions is “YES,” there are higher chances that you are suffering from Philophobia. So it would be better to seek professional help.

Philophobia Test

Philophobia has not been included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) by experts. DSM is a psychiatric disease handbook used by doctors all around the world. In addition to this, there is no standard guideline to diagnose this disease called Philophobia, the fear of love. This  makes Philophobia Test and diagnosing difficult

There has been limited information on the Philophobia Test and some other kinds of phobias. The main reason people don’t want to go to doctors. Most of them know their fears but are reluctant to share and speak about them with other people and even doctors. But ignoring phobias does not make anything better; but it only makes them worse.

Even though I have mentioned some of the symptoms of Philophobia, most phobias share these symptoms. There is not a clear way to know on your own that you are suffering from a phobia. So when you experience any of these symptoms, visit a therapist or a doctor as they can guide you properly. For improving the quality of life, it is very important to take help from a professional.

A therapist or doctor will ask you about the symptoms you are experiencing for Philophobia Test. In addition to this, he will also ask about your psychiatric, medical, and social history. So do not hide anything from your doctor as it can affect your treatment. Hiding things will not prove helpful for the doctor and you too. It may lead to false diagnosis and also medication, which may not be good for your health.

Long untreated Philophobia can harm you badly; it can also lead to some serious consequences like the use of alcohol, drugs, depression, social isolation, and in the end, even suicide. But seeking professional help can save you from this trouble. You can try on your own, but it is always better to ask and take help from someone who knows these things better than you.In today’s modern society dating and relationships have become tougher

How to cure Philophobia?

If you are wondering How to cure Philophobia? I have mentioned above, you can’t deal with a phobia own your own, especially when it has become worse. It is necessary to visit a doctor and seek professional help. There are suggested treatments that will prove helpful in overcoming your fears. Again you cannot treat yourself; only a professional can decide the right strategy to cure you of Philophobia as every person is different from others, so these strategies are decided based on your personality and severity of the disease. Here is How to cure Philophobia:

Systematic Desensitization Therapy

This therapy is not only used to treat Philophobia only but also for the treatment of many other phobias, for instance, Sarmassophobia. In this therapy, the approach of exposing the person to the object he fears most is utilized. In this therapy, now a person can use the help of virtual reality. He practices different dating experiences (which are obviously not real) before going with a real date in real life. This way, a person can practice how to deal with and overcome his fears before facing them in real life.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy involves an approach that helps to identify negative thoughts and their changing patterns. What people think affects their behavior. Sometimes we make up a lot of false situations in our head and get scared, which are far from reality, so with the help of CBT, these thoughts are identified and then treated.

A simple CBT technique involves saying “STOP” either aloud or in your head when you are experiencing a rush of irrational baseless thoughts. It is suggested that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, in combination with Systematic Desensitization Therapy, can bring remarkable results in treating Philophobia.

Medication

Medication is not recommended to deal with phobias in general as mental problems can be handled better with the help of therapies. But in some cases, medications, in addition to therapy, become necessary to treat severe emotional and physical symptoms. Doctors may recommend anti-depressant, for example, selective serotonin uptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) for dealing with serious emotional and physical symptoms.

Changing lifestyle habits

Social and anxiety disorders are very common these days; it is estimated that about 13% of adults in the UK develop some specific kind of phobia at some point in their lives. But you cannot overcome these phobias just with the help of therapy. If you are not prepared and willing to deal with it mentally, you can’t get rid of phobias like Philophobia. To bring a positive change in your life, changing your lifestyle habits in addition to regular therapy works best and brings remarkable results. Doctors or your therapist will also recommend you some relaxation or mindfulness techniques and exercises. This helps treat Philophobia, but again don’t try on your own without expert advice get the support and guidance needed.

How to love someone with Philophobia?

Loving someone who is afraid to love is not easy; they are dealing with a mental problem, and it means you also have to deal with their problem. I am not saying loving someone who is afraid to love is a bad thing, and you shouldn’t do it. Obviously, loving someone or not is entirely in our hands. But if you fall in love with a person dealing with Philophobia, you have to be stronger. You have to support them and be there whenever they need you. With your help and support, they may cure quickly they need reassurance and patience from you. I know it will not be easy for you, but it is helpful to have people around who love you unconditionally.

If someone you love has any kind of phobia or specifically Philophobia, you need to understand that it is a serious issue, and you cannot ignore it even if you are feeling this is difficult to understand know that it is real, so do not take it lightly. Here is how you can help them:

Educate yourself

If you are wondering how to love someone with Philophobia? First of all, you need to educate yourself about phobias, specifically Philophobia. Learn how they affect people and how different people can react when they have a particular fear. When you understand phobias a little bit, it becomes easier to deal with them.

Do not rush things

If a person you love has Philophobia, do not push him/her to do things he may not want to do. Rushing things will not help at all; you cannot force someone to be with you, especially when they are scared to love.

Encourage them to get help.

Take things slowly and help them understand the problem. Encourage them to seek professional help and don’t be judgy. It will only make them uncomfortable around you.

Be there for support.

How to love someone with Philophobia? Try to talk to them about their fears, understand them, and ask them how they want you to help, what they need? If they can trust you, it would be easy for them to deal with their problem. Show them empathy and support this is essential.

Philophobia quotes

Philophobia makes enjoying romantic relationships impossible for you. But you need to deal with it if you want to enjoy this side of life’s beauty. Philophobia quotes can help you understand how it really feels and how to deal with this. You can get inspired after reading the experiences of others. So I have shortlisted some of the best Philophobia quotes that will really inspire you as they inspired me. So let’s have a look:

  • “Don’t let toxic people infect you with the fear of giving and receiving one of the most powerful forces in this world… LOVE!”― Yvonne Pierre, The Day My Soul Cried: A Memoir
  • “When you are in love you know no fear or hatred. when you are fearful there is no possibility of love or hatred. And when there is hate, there is only hate.”― Christopher Pike, Thirst No. 1: The Last Vampire, Black Blood, and Red Dice
  • “All the things that people do in order to show that they don’t need anybody… meanwhile, all they really want to do is say, “Please keep me.” We all want to be kept. The problem is we are too afraid to let anyone know about it. What are these fragile things in our hearts that have so much fear of being broken?”― C. JoyBell C.
  • “When we put our running shoes on and fight tooth and nail to hide from someone, it’s because that’s the person who really matters. That’s the one person you fear will see what’s inside you and cringe. You’d rather live with the not-knowing than to give it a chance.”― Rebel Farris, Pivot Line
  • “If the people who said they loved you abused or neglected you, it can feel terrifying to love again…Commitment or love with a family feeling can be scarier still. The child in you still equates commitment with being locked into a situation where there’s no escape. So as you get closer, you may become paralyzed by all your old defenses & memories.”― Ellen Bass, The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
  • “If someone broke your heart it doesn’t mean you should build a wall around it and quit loving. Redirect your love.” ― Rick Warren
  • “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” ― C. S. Lewis
  • “There are only two energies at the core of the human experience: love and fear. Love grants freedom, fear takes it away. Love invites full expression, fear punishes it. Love invites you, always, to break the bonds of ignorance.” ― Neale Donald Walsch
  • “Do not be afraid of love or the course it will take. There is no certainty in life. Choose love first and choose love last and it will give you more than you ever give it.”― Donna Goddard, Waldmeer.
  • “You push people away, Marley. You don’t realize it, but you do. You close yourself off to anyone and anything that doesn’t fit in your perfect little hamster ball of life. But you can’t experience love only on your own terms. It doesn’t work that way.”― Kate Lattey, Dream On.

Conclusion

Love is a beautiful feeling, and a person who is afraid to love is missing the real beauty of life. I know it is not easy to lower your guard down to fall in love or to let someone love you. But if you are ready to cherish this beautiful feeling and to face your fear, you can cure yourself of Philophobia. If you are scared of falling in love and getting hurt, make sure to seek professional help, I hope this guide will prove helpful for you.

Further reading

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References