Clingy

Clingy (Everything you need to know about being Clingy)

Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. But some weaknesses are so bad that they consume your relationships and you end up alone. Clinginess is one such weakness. It does not only make you an annoying and a frustrated person but also pushes your loved ones away from you. Clinginess is very common in relationships. Let me share an example of one of my friends and you will better understand the clingy person meaning.

So it is about 2 years ago when a friend of mine, let’s say crystal (alias), fell in love with this really cute guy at her workplace. The guy seemed really interested, but she could not know if he was as much invested in their burgeoning relationship as she was or not. This uncertainty and mixed signals drove her crazy. She was so much absorbed in these thoughts that she couldn’t help herself and couldn’t think of anything else. She was always texting him even when she was with us on a party night; she couldn’t focus on work as she was always trying to keep him interested. I remember she used to freak out; when he did not reply to her texts or calls. She used to go to places where she knew he would be hanging out probably. Her condition was miserable she was constantly profusely trying to engage with him.

It ruined their relationship, and they broke-up. A little bit of clinginess seems good, but too much is not healthy at all. It makes you a toxic person. In this article, I am going to tell you all about it, how you can define it, what are the root causes, and how you can deal with it. So let’s get started.

Clingy meaning

You may wonder what is clingy meaning? Let me describe it for you. Clingy meaning a person who is very attached to someone and starts depending on them or we can also describe it as a thing that is strongly adhered to a surface or another thing. Clinginess can be good sometimes, but most of the time, it is toxic.  We can say that  needy is synonym of clingy.

Clingy sentence examples

Now you know the Clingy meaning, but you may not know how you can describe clinginess in a sentence. Let me share some Clingy sentence examples with you:

Clingy can be said in different ways in a sentence. It is not just about a person; it can explain the ability of one thing to stick to others, which is also a clingy definition. Have a look at this sentence:

“It is so annoying; my hair keeps clinging to my face.”

Clingy person meaning is also similar to the sentence I have shared above. Here is one of the Clingy sentence examples describing the frustrating behavior of a person:

“That boy sure is clingy. He followed me everywhere and won’t leave me alone.”

Examples of clingy phrases

There are several Examples of clingy phrases that will describe this emotion in the best possible way. Let me share some of the best Examples of clingy phrases for you:

“And yet, she is also clingy and whiny, sometimes bossy and demanding.”

“So what defines the healthy adult relationship — is there such a thing as too “clingy” or “dependent?”

Here are some other Examples of clingy phrases; if you hear any of these from someone, you should know that he/she is way too clingy:

“Why isn’t she/he texting me back? I sent the message ten minutes ago”

“I really love you and want to be with you all the time, so I don’t like it when you make plans with your friends.”

Clinginess in relationships

A Clingy person makes relationships difficult. They will always try to be around you. They will call you and send hundreds of texts if you do not pick his calls or do not respond to him. This may also lead to a fight, and this obsessive nature may lead to a breakup. People may sometimes confuse clinginess with love, but it is nothing like that. Love does not bind you; it sets you free. If a person is a little clingy, like he checks on you, wants to be around you but does not force himself on you, it is a good thing. But when he wants to be with you 24/7 and starts behaving annoyingly if you say you can’t be with them, sends you a thousand texts and calls, fights with you about it, this is way too clingy. The following quote describes this situation best:

“This is particularly true of those who “love too much” and those who tend to lose themselves in their relationships. Sometimes our love becomes distorted by our feelings of insecurity and our fear of abandonment. This is often the case with those who become overly controlling and overly smothering of their partner. Others become emotionally abusive because of their fear of intimacy.” ― Beverly Engel, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing

Clinginess does not make relationships strong; it makes them weaker and fragile. It makes them toxic. Relationships only become stronger when you respect each other, give space, and never tend to invade your partner’s privacy.

Examples of clingy behavior

Clinginess should be dealt with on time before it ruins your relationship. Now you know the clinginess definition and meaning but how does a Clingy person behave in a relationship. I have given some examples above but let’s discuss some examples of clingy behavior in detail:

He/ She will frustrate if you don’t respond

It is one of the most obvious examples of clingy behavior. If you are in a relationship with a Clingy person, you will see he/she does not want to leave you alone. If you and your partner are not together, your phone will blow with their texts and calls. If you do not respond to their text, either they will come to see you or will fight with you. If you call back on time, you will know that it was for nothing. This will happen regularly.

He/ She will get jealous of your friends/ co-worker

Sometimes clinginess and jealousy go hand in hand. You will notice that your partner does not like it when you are talking to someone else, either at the workplace or at a party. They will keep an eye on you and want to know about everything you were talking about with that friend or co-worker.

He/ She will want to  be involved in everything.

There is a time when you want to be alone. You may want to spend some time with your friends or siblings, or you may have a very important work thing where you can’t take them, and they will start behaving anxiously. They want to be with you whether they are invited or not.

He/ She has ditched their friends.

People who are in a relationship tend to spend more time with their partner, and they can totally ignore their friends. This is what we call needy relationships, where no other person is important except one. You will see that your partner does not spend time with his friends anymore and fights with you when you do so.

You have to reassure your love.

It is one of the most common examples of clingy behavior. It is good to be expressive; you should tell your partner how much you love them occasionally. But when a person is clingy, he would want you to say it again and again. No matter how many times you say you love them, it will not satisfy them. They want more from you.

If you are the clingy one in your relationship, you will also show a similar kind of behavior. But don’t worry, I will tell you how you can deal with it. But before that, let’s have a look at what causes this clinginess.

What causes clinginess in a relationship?

According to psychological expert Rick Nauert, close relationships are very important not only for the psychological and emotional betterment of a person but also for the well-being of physical health. In a healthy relationship, both partners have their own interests, and they pursue them. They have their own identity outside the relationship. But when there is clinginess, it does not take much time to turn into toxicity; it even makes a loving partner run away from you. But what causes clinginess in a relationship? Let’s have a look.

Past experiences and childhood issues

Sometimes a person becomes clingy because of bad past experiences. People who are ignored in childhood or treated badly have trust issues they then become needy when they grow up. Normal children see that their parents come back after some time and feel more secure, but those who have been neglected and abused have serious abandonment issues when they grow up.

A person may also become clingy if he/she has experienced betrayal in his/her past relationships.

Mental health disorders

In rare cases, clinginess can also be a result because of some mental health issues, for example, dependent personality disorder. When a person is suffering from this disorder, you will notice extreme clinginess, not ordinary. Such people don’t have the ability to make decisions on their own and totally rely on someone else’s opinion and approval. They are afraid to do things alone. So if you or your partner experiences such symptoms, make sure to seek help from a professional this level of codependency is not healthy.

Low-self esteem

If you are wondering, what causes clinginess in a relationship? Low self-esteem can be a cause of clinginess in a relationship. A person may feel that he/she is not good enough for his partner or feel like he does not deserve to be loved. Low self-esteem is a very common cause, so if you or your partner feel that you have a substantial level of low self-esteem, make sure to seek professional help.

Clingy girlfriend

People who are in love get clingy most of the time, especially girls. A Clingy girlfriend will never leave her boyfriend alone, especially when there are girls around. She keeps on talking about her relationship all the time with everyone. She always tries to rush things and try to move the relationship forward as soon as possible. Simply she wants to control her man. She is jealous all the time. And it is really not good behavior. Dealing with a Clingy girlfriend is not easy, but you can make things better.

The most important thing is to make her believe that you love her and will not hurt her. Talk to her that you do not like this kind of behavior and that she can’t control you. An obsessive woman is not easy to handle, I know, so if she does not stop her toxic attitude, you need to make the final decision. You don’t have to waste your energy on a self-absorbed person. Know your worth, and end this relationship as soon as possible. Please note always tell a person you have issues with their behaviour and then subsequently if you do not see changes in their behaviour you then may have to walk away from this relationship.

Clingy boyfriend

Girls are clingier than boys, but boys are a little extreme when they are clingy. Clingy boyfriend will get obsessed with you and check your phones or spy on you. It is not an acceptable attitude. So you need to deal with it carefully. Just like above, talk to your partner, hear him out what he has to say. Reassure your clingy boyfriend that you love him, but if he does not stop behaving like this, it would be better to make yourself free from this toxic and controlling relationship. Whether male or female clingy behaviour is destructive and dangerous.

How not to be clingy in a relationship?

A study showed that about 75% of the people are satisfied in their relationship, and 25% were in a distressed relationship, which is a good ratio.  But it is not healthy to be in a distressed relationship. Insecurity and low self-esteem are the main causes of clinginess. It seems like these are your weaknesses, but the best thing is you can turn your weaknesses into your strengths.

The first thing you need is to accept that you have a problem, and you want to find a solution to your problem. It is the first step towards betterment. Secure attachment patterns can help a lot in building and maintaining a healthy relationship. Let’s have a look some of the possible ways to deal with your clinginess issues:

Pause, and ask yourself

When a person is clingy, he/ she responds to a situation in an extreme way. He can behave anxiously, which is not mature most of the time. If you are a Clingy person and there comes a similar situation, you need to take a pause. Do not react immediately, wait, and ask yourself, is it necessary? Isn’t there a better way to respond to this situation? This way, you can control your behavior.

Think about what you actually need in a relationship

People who are clingy often do not care about their actual needs. All they want is love and attention, and for this, they can do anything. They feel like they don’t deserve love, so they try their best to be nice and don’t care about their needs. But that is not the right thing to do. You need to recognize your valid needs and find a better way to fulfill them. But do not manipulate your partner to do anything for you let love and feelings be organic.

Talk to your partner about it.

Communication is key to a healthy relationship. Without communication, a relationship cannot survive. When two people are comfortable with each other, they can talk about anything, and it will make their bond stronger. If you have insecurities, you need to talk about it with your partner. Tell him/ her how you are feeling and what your insecurities are; if they love you, they will understand you and will help you with it.

If your partner is clingy and you notice that it is because of his/her insecurities, talk to them and reassure them that you love them. If you think that they are showing extreme behavior, ask them to seek professional help but do this in a friendly and loving way, don’t be harsh.

Find a therapist

Therapy is the best way to deal with your insecurities and other mental issues. A therapist designs a useful strategy for you that can help with your mental issues. They will help you understand why you are behaving like this, and how can you leave your toxic attitude? They will also help you in figuring out whether your partner is good for you or not.

Couple counseling

A lot of couples are getting benefits from couple counseling. During couples counseling, a counselor can help both partners in figuring out problems in the relationship. The therapist tries to make things clearer between them. During couples counseling, the therapist focus on a specific problem, which in this case is clinginess, and both partners are part of therapy at the same time in resolving this issue.

Stats show that about 75% of couples are satisfied with couple’s therapy. Which means it is really helpful. You may wonder about the remaining 25%? Well, the remaining 25% include those couples who are in abusive relationships, and they should not expect improvement until this abusive behavior is eliminated. So they should go for individual therapy before going for couples counseling.

Is being clingy a bad thing?

If you ask me, is being clingy a bad thing? I would say yes, it ruins the relationship. A clingy person may not realize what they are doing is wrong. He will think that he is showing love. But it is not reality; love is nothing like this. These two are extremely different things. You don’t have to keep texting to reassure your love for your partner or have to be physically present all the time. In addition to this, clinginess is insecurity and only brings anxiety. So clearly, it is not a good thing for a relationship.

I am not talking about romantic relationships; I am talking about all kinds of relationships, including those with your friends, parents, siblings. So is being clingy a bad thing? Definitely, clinginess binds us, it controls us, and we cannot live our life with happiness. So it should be dealt with on time so that you can live your life at the highest level without scaring people away.

Conclusion

Being in a relationship is not easy; you have to be supportive, understanding and be there for your partner. Being clingy will not help you in making your relationship stronger; it will ruin everything. So you need to deal with your insecurities first and then enter into a relationship. If it seems like your partner is clingy, talk to him/ her and clear his doubts. You can also take help from couples counseling and mental therapy. We hope these suggestions will prove helpful for you. Have a free consultation today if you need more support call 03333443853

Further reading

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Relationship poems

What to do if a guy doesn’t text you for a week

Stages of a rebound relationship

Feeling used

References

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