The terminology “demisexual” was first coined in 2006 on a sexual visibility and education network forum (AVEN). Sonofzeal was the first to use this terminology in public forums. What is demisexual? What do you understand from demisexual meaning? What are the ways to define demisexuality? Demisexual is the innate nature of many people. Demisexual usually develops a strong emotional connection before experiencing sexual attraction. In this article, you will learn complete awareness with the term demisexuality.
What is demisexual?
Demisexual is a sexual orientation, just like sapiosexual. Some people are only attracted sexually towards those with whom they have developed a solid emotional connection or personal bond. In this case, a person is known as demisexual. According to Demisexuality Resource Center, the demisexual has a desire to engage in sexual activities very rarely as compared to the general population. Physical appearance and looks are not significant while discussing a demisexual person. Emotions are the subject of study.
What is the demisexual definition? A demisexual person first falls in strong emotional bonds with the specific person then, experiences a high level of sexual orientation toward that person. Emotional attachment is a prerequisite to sexual attraction. Demisexuality is the continuously ranging sexuality from asexual to non-sexual. It is a natural and innate character.
Emotional attachment plays a key role in developing a healthy relationship. Demisexuality is a unique type of sexual orientation and most of the people are unaware of it. To become demisexual is the best thing one may ever experience. Demisexual is exclusive and a unique quality that every person desires to have this quality in their partner. This is a God-gifted quality. To have a demisexual partner is not lesser than a blessing.
People want someone who likes them for who they are.. Cutting a long story short “Are You A demisexual?”, an online quiz website, frequently asked its readers about having sex with a potential being who shares a strong bond with them. A stronger emotional bond is what actually makes a relationship stronger.
What type of emotional bond leads to demisexual behaviour, it’s still a question to be answered. It is not necessary the bond demisexual share must be romance or love. It may be friendship. Platonic friendship is also included in the list.
Can we define demisexual as? “A demisexual experiences beautiful emotions and that leads to sexual arousal for that close person, and this is satisfying for them. Having the sexual desire comes after the emotion and is the best thing they feel for their romantic partner.
Demisexuality is a major component of the asexual spectrum. The complete concept of this term is on demisexual Wikipedia.
Demisexual flags are common and help in inspiring others to come out and share their experiences if they are demisexual. Demisexual flag is also an excellent way to define demisexual. A different way to explain demisexual character is one who feels a rise in sexual desires when around strongly bonded persons. Demisexual people prefer to have sex with their partner when in a relationship. Demisexual trusts their partner and prefers to have sex with them in a committed relationship.
Difference between demisexual and sapiosexual
Demisexual and sapiosexual are similar in some ways. Sapiosexual is attracted toward people who have high intelligence. At the same time, demisexual is turned on only if they had strong emotional bonds. A crucial factor in demisexual relation is emotional attachment while in sapiosexual it is intelligence or smartness.
Sapiosexual and demisexuals are attracted toward specific people whom they fit in their life as a role model. This makes them different. In the case of demisexual emotions and feelings matter while, in the case of sapiosexual intelligence and knowledge is of high concern.
Characteristics of a demisexual
The demisexual definition is a key feature to understand demisexuality and sexual desire concerning emotions. How to find a demisexual ? What are demisexual characteristics? In this article, I will explain to you some basic qualities that exist in a demisexual person. So let’s get started:
How can you recognize a demisexual person?
Demisexual traits are easy to recognize.
- Demisexuality does not mean having sex with a loved one; correctively, it is having sexual desire for a person you are sharing a strong bond with.
- Love, at first sight, is not a proper saying for demisexuality. A demisexual will call it, lust at first sight.
- Sexual arousal becomes more vibrant and strong when demisexual fall in love.
- They have strong emotional and sexual desires in their relations.
- It’s not average or normal sexuality.
- The panromantic term is also closely associated with demisexuality.
- Panromantic demisexuality is arousing sexual desire regardless of gender differentiation.
- Normally people with high sexual desires don’t need emotional attraction with others to have sex but the demisexual does.
- Demisexual feels proud to have sexual desires for the emotionally attached one.
- A demisexual can be homosexual, pansexual, and heterosexual.
- Demisexual wants to have sex with their close partner maybe a friend based on emotional connection not looks .
- Emotionality plays a key role in the variation of demisexual traits.
After having a better understanding of the topic, the first question that arises is, am I demisexual? If you are not attracted by someone’s beauty, knowledge and sexy body at first sight then take a bow, you are demisexual. It was something about the emotional attachment you have with them, the way they make you feel better, and understand your problems. This means you are a demisexual. You prefer emotions over physical appearance.
Can demisexual experience other forms of attraction too?
- Romantic attraction the utter desire of having a relationship full of romance and sex.
- The aesthetic attraction being attracted to someone based on their physical appearance.
- Physical attraction the desire to touch, hold or cuddle with someone.
- Platonic attraction the desire to befriend someone
- Emotional attraction desiring an emotional connection with someone
Demisexual men sexual identities
Demisexual men’s sexual identities are not easy to find. Demisexual men lessen your worry about maintaining sexy body and expensive clothes. Normally men are very demanding. They want their partner to look sexy and seducing all the time, and that requires continuous struggle. Women have to do so many things in order to look seducing and sexy in today’s competitive race of women.
Demisexual men give you a free reign it’s all about emotions and your character. They just want you to make them feel special and strengthen the bond you share with them.
Having sex with demisexual is more appealing than casual sex.
A demisexual man’s sexual identity is more interesting. Having sex and sexual conversation with a demisexual is more appealing than casual sex. Having sex with a demisexual is more appealing and satisfying. Demisexual men are lovely and honest sex is not the main focus.
Strong emotional bond results in strong demisexuality behaviour
Demisexual doesn’t care about your financial and physical status. If you have a bond strong enough, it’s sufficient for them. In most cases, comfort objects are not significant.
Demisexual women sexual identities
Women are believed to have more interest in your money than you. Frequently it is said that women are more attracted toward financially stable male than unstable. This is not true if your female partner is demisexual. She doesn’t need your money. She is not attracted toward your status but emotions.
Types of demisexual person
There are many types of demisexual. Basic kinds are as follow;
- Panromantic demisexual
- Biromantic demisexual
- Heteromantic dimesexual
Sexual orientation arises for the emotionally linked person regardless of their gender. Sexual desires for any gender arises in panromantic demisexual. Strong bonds and deep friendship are crucial factors required for panromantic demisexuality.
Experiencing demisexuality is limited to deep connections, caring, and friendship. Having the sexual desire is a trait of human but, having sexual desire for a true friend or your partner is what make you demisexual and distinct.
Panromantic demisexual may have sexual desires for transgender, men, and women. The establishment of a healthy and deep bond is a basic prerequisite.
Panromantic experiences romantic attractiveness for an emotionally linked person while; pansexual is sexual attractiveness for anyone. Romantic attraction can be aromatic, biromantic, grey romantic, demiromantic, homoromantic, heteroromantic, and polychromatic. It is a broad word having multiple definitions. Aromantic has no romantic attraction, biromantic having attraction toward two people, grey romantic having romantic attraction frequently, and so on. Panromantic vs pansexual is a broad term explaining two different concepts.
It can be defined as having a romantic attraction for your sensitively attached friend, partner, or anyone else. Bioromantic demisexual differs from others in having romantic or sexual desires for more than one gender.
In Bioromantic demisexual, Bi means two and romantic is having sexual desire for someone. Bioromanticism may have sexual arousal for men, women, or transgender. It differs from others in having sexual desire for more than one person at a time. The development of a strong emotional bond is necessary.
Demisexual sexual arousal requires close and deep connection, and heteroromantic specify the opposite gender.
In this paragraph, I specifically discuss demisexual vs pansexual traits. Demisexual is very similar in characteristic to pansexual. Demisexual sexual desire establishes after having a deep connection irrespective of gender. While pansexual desires don’t need an emotional attachment. Both are gender blind. Emotional attachments and care differentiate them.
Opposite of demisexual means having a close bond with your partner or friend. These bonds turn your sexual desires on but, once you get the close bond, you lose them. Litho-sexual, semi-sexual, or aromantic sexual are the words used against demisexual.
Suppose one has a friend after passing the time, the bond becomes strong and emotional. Establishing a deep connection arises from sexual desires. He wants to have romance or sex with his partner, but when he gets closer to his partner suddenly, he loses interest and becomes litho-sexual. Demisexual meaning is clearer now. Emotions are what everyone wants all hail the demisexual true love is acceptance and emotions.
This type of sexuality is more similar to grey-sexuality—opposite of demisexual keeps on switching their behaviour between sexual and asexual traits frequently.
Demisexual a gem for you
Demisexual are gems for you. Because they are not interested in your physical appearance, beauty and sexy body, all they want is your time, love and true emotions. Having a sexual relationship with demisexual is not less than a blessing. Treat them emotionally showcase your emotions and extreme love in a true way. They will be all yours.
Sometimes you need to update yourself in order to look charming and beautiful to your potential partner. Women invest much money on their body, face and clothes to attract a potential partner. But if your partner is demisexual no need to worry more because he is going to love you unconditionally and limitlessly. Their love for you has no boundary. They are a factual and true lover. They love you, your emotions and your qualities, not your physique and money.
In the case of demisexuality, the only thing that matters is honesty, love, and deep bond. Sexual arousal is more likely to occur when a deep bond exists.
Language and grammar don’t matter for demisexual.
The only thing that matter for a demisexual is deep bonds and strong connection; it is the universal character issues with a demisexual. Messages showing deep concern and strengthening bonds with the partner are highly recommended.
A person is demisexual if he appreciates deep bonds and long romantic written messages with love. Demisexual prefers romantic messages showing deep concerns. They can ignore spelling and grammar mistakes demisexuals are more empathethic to an individuals shortcomings emotions are the priority.
Deep connection in any form stimulates them.
It is about having concrete love for emotions, in any shape. Emotions have no boundary in relation. A person who is truly demisexual loves the emotions for their sake. This comprises of deep, strong, and emotional-based bonds. Always remember to keep in mind what a demisexual requirement is and how to please them based on the emotional connection priority.
How to turn on a demisexual?
They think demisexual, to inspire demisexual, is a time-consuming and difficult procedure. They find beauty in emotions.
If you want to explore a way for turning demisexuals on, try to give them care, love, and deepen the bond you share with them. Invest energy and time with honesty and demisexual is all yours. Here are some tips that can prove best for turning demisexual on.
Demisexual means who is inspired by your deep love and honesty. What is a demisexual response to different bonds? Demisexual responds differently to the person they are attracted to. Suppose you want to have a relation with demisexual then, be a discussion beginner. Talk with them smoothly.
Suppose you find a demisexual is exactly what you want. Just go and start a healthy discussion on a sensual and emotional topic. They will hear you carefully and give you proper time. Then they will become frank with you. Start to chat and call you. Plan a meetup and try to make them feel special and unique.
The more you make them feel pure and true the more they become addicted to you. The best relation is those that have a deep bond and best memories. They fall in love with you. This emotional attachment arises sexual desire in them. The emotional behaviour influences their sexual desires badly. This leads to a healthy, sexual and cute relation.
Demisexual is of several types based on their other sexual orientation and some other factors; they fall for people who are a bit patient. When you know someone more, you will find them more interesting.
Well, a sapiosexual cannot resist such a person no matter what he belongs to. They experience the highest sexual desires and best emotions for the person they are sharing a strong bond. It can help if you stick around a person long enough to let them see how interesting you are and can be as time passes.
Honesty and loyalty is what they demand the more.the more purity and honesty demisexual see the more responsive they become. Demisexual are normally responsible for pure marriage material. They have the best qualities everyone wants to see in a partner.
Deepen and strengthen your bond
Honestly saying, demisexual is crazy about emotions. So you can win their heart by showing care and love. You can make them feel special by showing concern for them. It will be a useful tool to turn them on show care, love and empathy.
Inspire them with your true emotions
Do you want to turn on demisexual? What is a demisexual turning point? Inspire them with your love and care and win their heart.
Demisexual is sensitive
Depression and anxiety are two very common mental health problems, and both are somehow connected with demisexual. If demisexual experience emotional instability, it can lead to these conditions that can ruin your ability to love.
As they want a cascade of emotions, they are highly insightful and sensitive. They may feel hurt after a small mistake you commit. Small mistakes must not be ignored. Demisexual wants their partner to not hurt them by emotional disturbance and distress.
If you want to know whether you are demisexual or not many websites are conducting a demisexual test. Search the best-rated website that conducts this test. Well, no website don’t have a suitable tool or software that can detect this behaviour as demisexual is a kind of behavioural activity associated with the brain. Your brain controls your sexual desire and behavioural activities. It is very difficult to design an accurate and suitable software or website for such activities. Though you can search it and go to the top-rated website, conduct their demisexual test. These tests are based on asking appropriate questions and can give you significant insight into knowing if you are demisexual.
This test will help you in the best ways to judge whether you are demisexual or sapiosexual. They actually judge your behaviour with an answer that you give to each question asked and prepared the report then give you results according to that report.
This report basically tells you about your sexual orientation. These websites are the best way to explore yourself.
It is not possible to know on your own if you are demisexual or not. But you can have an idea. If you feel like you are experiencing some symptoms, take help from the online quiz test. These quizzes are made after considering symptoms and some other factors related to demisexual. With this quiz’s help, you can have an idea, but still, you have to observe yourself sharply to make sure and have self awareness of your behavioural patterns. There are several quizzes available online all you need is your phone or laptop; answer these questions, and they will share results with you in the end.
If you are wondering what type of questions is included in the quiz, here is an example for you:
- Are you interested in the emotional things that you used to take pleasure in?
- Do you find no joy from commonly pleasurable activities?
- Do intelligence and beauty have no to appeal to you anymore?
- Do you want people to leave you alone?
- Do you feel emotionally numb often?
- Does anything touch you on a personal level?
- Do you feel hoped most of the time?
- Is it difficult for you to handle social situations?
- Do you have an emotional mood all the time?
- Do you feel happy with your emotionally attached friend?
- Is it difficult for you to express a positive attitude toward strangers?
- Do you feel sexual arousal on spending time with your best friend and others?
- Do you feel difficulty communicating with strangers?
- Do you not feel excited to have sex with a good friend anymore?
Questions to ask a demisexual
Whats demisexual? The online demisexual quiz asks the different type of questions. These online quizzes boost your knowledge and help one to differentiate between versatile character. Bisexual, demisexual and sapiosexual are three different terminologies.
- Emotional bonds and the deep conversation tend to either turn on you, fuel you, or both?
- Does emotional bonding remain preferable all the time?
- Do you prefer emotional bonding over physical appearance when looking for a potential partner?
- Do you want to have sensual and sexual talks with your partner?
- Does emotions matter more than finance and monetary status?
- Which of these genuine connections, love, or physical attraction is most important to you in a relationship?
- Do you either feel emotional attraction frequently?
- Do you ever think to have sex with someone not emotionally linked?
- Do you prefer a logical and rational perspective about life?
- Do stronger emotional bonds influence sexual desires?
- How long it takes to develop a strong emotional bond?
- Do you prefer nightstand or frequent sex with a partner?
- Do you feel asexual or bisexual frequently?
- Do financial status and dressing sense also matter in case of having sex with emotionally attached?
- Do imprudent people make you irritated and disheartened?
- Do foolish spoil your mood?
- Do you want to have a romantic talk with the sexual drive?
- Do you have the same level of sexual desire for both male and female?
- Do you feel gender blind sometimes?
- Do you like having sex with a stranger sometimes rather than the same person with whom you share a strong emotional bond?
- What type of strong bond do you need before having sexual desires?
- Do heteroromantic demisexual is common?
- Do you want to homosexual demisexual or heteromantic demisxual?
- Does all emotional connection turn on your sexual desires?
- Do strong bond influence your sex drive, or it’s just in your mind?
- Does emotional connection matter more than a sexy body or handsome unemotionally linked?
- What do you prefer a deep connection or a sexy woman with charming features?
Straight demisexual meaning
Human sexuality is dynamic, diverse, and, of course, involves several different labels, definitions, and terms. You are surely aware of the terms gay, lesbian, straight, and bisexual but new terms being discussed on media make you wonder what actually is happening. Because of that, it has become overwhelming to decide sexual orientation. One such term is demisexual.
For your kind information, a demisexual person is someone who is only attracted to people with whom he is attached emotionally. A demisexual person can be straight, gay, bisexual, or even may not have any gender preference; they can be attracted to anyone with whom they share an emotional connection.
Term demisexuality is usually confused with asexuality, but that is not right as in asexuality, a person does not feel attracted to anyone, and it has nothing to do with emotional connection. Such people are not even attracted to people they are emotionally connected to. It takes some time for a demisexual person to develop a sexual attraction towards someone.
So this was a broad definition of the term demisexuality, but what is the straight demisexual meaning? Let’s have a look at this.
Straight demisexual meaning
Straight demisexual meaning is having attraction towards someone with opposite gender you are attached emotionally. Being a straight demisexual is different; people may not understand what you are talking about and you might feel confused too. At this point, it is better to talk to a counsellor or a therapist who is an expert in dealing with confusions related to sexuality. Talking about your desires and concerns or relationships can help you in understanding your own situation, wishes, and needs.
Signs, you are a straight demisexual.
Now you are familiar with straight demisexual meaning, let’s have a look at some of potential signs that can indicate you are straight demisexual:
You were never attracted to a money or status
If you have never felt sexually attracted to any celebrity or a wealthy individual, there is a chance that you are straight demisexual. As straight demisexual meaning explains, you will not feel sexually attracted to someone you do not share an emotional bond with, and just like that, you will never fantasize about a celebrity or an ex-partner.
You feel like you are different from your friends.
According to straight demisexual meaning, a straight demisexual person will never feel a crush for a random classmate or a celebrity the way his other friends felt. So you will feel different from them; they may also think that you are weird, but there is nothing wrong with you. You are just someone who is looking for a deeper connection and just cannot date someone randomly.
All your previous relationship were started from friendship
As a demisexual person, most of your relationships will start from friendship. As there is nothing more meaningful than a deep friendship, so there are high chances of your relationships happening like this, it will likely be the case that you feel strong emotions for your best friend.
Going without sex is not a big issue for you.
For most people, sexual compatibility is very important, and it is not bad. Sometimes people are not even looking for meaningful sex; they are just looking for a hookup. But that is not the case with a demisexual. Sexual desire is a broad spectrum, and a demisexual may find him close to asexuality. They only can have sex if they are emotionally attached, but if they are not, they do not feel like missing sex as other people feel.
Sapio demisexual meaning
Sapio demisexual meaning explains that these two terms are similar in some ways. The most important common factor among demisexual and sapiosexual that both of these people have a limited number of people to whom they are attracted sexually. The major difference is that a sapiosexual person is only attracted to the intelligence of the other person, and emotional connection is not an important factor here.
If you are looking for Sapio demisexual meaning, let me explain this term to you. In this case, a person looks for two important factors in the other person one is his intelligence, and the other is the emotional bond he shares with that person. He will never be attracted to someone who just has intelligence, but there is no emotional bond, and just like that, he will never be attracted to someone who shares a strong emotional bond but lacks intelligence.
If wondering whether you are a demisexual or not, you need to look for the signs I have mentioned above. If you are still confused about that, you can look for someone online quizzes that can help you in identifying. All you need to do is search for the top-rated websites that conduct these kinds of online tests, and you are good to go. Keep in mind that there is no such thing as perfect software to detect your sexual orientation. In simple words, we can say that being a demisexual is a behavioural activity linked with the mind. Your brain is responsible for controlling behavioural activities and sexual desires. So it is not possible to design an accurate and perfect website or software for these kinds of activities. Still, you can rely on a top-rated website for conducting a test, but in the end, you need to consult a counsellor that will help you.
With the help of this test, you will be able to identify whether you are a demisexual, straight demisexual, or Sapio demisexual person. You will be asked a few questions, and based on your answers, they will prepare a report and will provide you with results. This report will tell you about your sexual orientation requirement and sexual desires. It is a fun way to explore you.
Some misconceptions about demisexuals
Now you are familiar with straight demisexual and Sapio demisexual meaning, let’s have a look at some of the misconceptions related to these terms. Demisexuality is comparatively a new term; according to the Demisexuality Resource Center, it was first recorded in 2006. A lot of misconceptions have been associated with this term; some of these are explained here:
They are choosy
One major misconception about demisexuals is that they are prudish or choosy as compared to those associated with mainstream sexualities. That is not true; the point is they just do not really feel any desire until an emotional bond is established.
They are sacred of their sexual orientation.
Another myth associated with demisexuality is that they are scared of their sexual orientation or sex. But that is not true; they just see sex differently, so they may not consider it very important unless they are emotionally connected.
They are boring in the bedroom.
Just like other sexual orientations, some people like to keep it simple, and others are looking for experiments. They are unique and sometimes even much more adventurous as compared to others.
Biromantic demisexual reddit
In terms of the Biromantic demisexual, Bi means “two”, and romantic means having sexual desire for someone here. We can define a biromantic demisexual as someone who is romantically attracted towards people from more than one group of gender, but the emotional connection is necessary. A biromantic demisexual person may have sexual attraction for women, men, or even transgender.
You might be wondering what people are talking about biromantic demisexual Reddit. Don’t worry, I have got you covered. I have researched Reddit about it and collected some popular comments from users.
Here is what people have to say about biromantic demisexual Reddit:
“Demisexual means you don’t experience a sexual attraction to someone unless you have a strong emotional bond first. You have to conquer my heart before you can sleep with me, you could say. In my case, I can still look at someone and think ‘Damn, they’re hot.’ but I wouldn’t want to have sex with them if I’m not romantically attracted to them. From what I heard, it’s a form of asexuality but instead of a total lack of sexual attraction, it is limited to a select amount of people (only one person at a time for me, which is the one I’m dating). I myself am still searching for the exact label that fits me, but this one seems pretty accurate. I still very much fall in love with people of all genders, so that’s where bi-romantic comes from.”
“I am a bi-romantic/demi (maybe bi-romantic/asexual not entirely sure where I fit on the ace spectrum) as well. I hope so otherwise, I don’t belong either. I use the demisexual/bisexual flair (the closest one that I could find) on this subreddit and no one has mentioned anything to me about it. Everyone here seems ok with it and welcoming.”
“Hey. Proud Demi- biromantic ace here. If you think you are, then you are. Heck, even if you haven’t dated anyone yet you could still identify that way. Being biromantic isn’t something you need to prove, so as long as you think you are, you are.”
“I’m not demi but ace. Can you picture yourself in a relationship with someone of your gender? Do you want to be? You can try to find examples of the past of a celebrity you crushed on as a teen, or something like that. That may give you an idea. Of course, you don’t actually need to prove to anyone your biromantic, there are no certain qualifications you need to match in order to be bi. These are just some suggestions to help you figure yourself out.”
“Hi, I’m biromantic demisexual and even tho I have fallen for 1 person of the opposite gender I am very very very certain I like guys as well. So you don’t need to fall for someone of the same and opposite gender to know you are biromantic. Hope this helps.”
“I am biromantic demisexual. Labels can change so if you want to identify as demi or bi or both you can and if you discover later a different label fits better that is ok too. I started out identifying as just straight (was actually ace but didn’t realize until later) then ace, then I found out I was demisexual when I experienced sexual attraction to my now-husband, then realized I was biromantic a few months ago and all the girls I admired as a teen I actually had a crush on but I didn’t see it through my homophobia. It can take a while to figure out your identity so it’s ok to identify with the labels you think fit you best right now and change them if you need to later. Hope this helps!”
“I am a Demi-romantic, Bi-romantic asexual!! I was so happy to know that there are others like me and that I am not broken(for being ace especially).
“Hello, amazing human! I understand how confusing and difficult it must have been since there’s little to no information about bi-romantic asexuals who are also demi. Hope you’re doing well! You’re not broken for experiencing things the way you do! :)”
“At the end of the day, this is what’s important. Your feelings and fantasies and identity are also important, obviously, but if you’re happy with your opposite-sex partner then that is the end game, at the end of the day. You don’t need to feel fake. Just be who you are, feel attraction to who you feel, identify with what feels most comfortable to you: and love your partner 🙂 If you end up feeling unhappy in your relationship then that may be a different story, but the best way to wrap your head around it is to just go with the flow.”
“Hey, thanks for your words. I could not find much on Demi Bi (or pan) romantic people and I agree there’s no need to justify by certain criteria ofc, but for the sake of understanding better and clearer, I wanted to know if someone had to go through a similar thing and how they figured out. It can very well be frustrating at times that’s all. Have a good day :)”
For a demisexual person, emotional attachment is the key feature. There is nothing wrong in wanting something; we all have desires. If you have just figured out that you are demisexual, accept yourself and try to enjoy this new change in your life. Demisexual is loyal and honest. They just want to have sex with their romantic partner in a relationship or wife/husband in marriage. Feel proud to be a demisexual and enjoy every aspect of it. If you need advice or support today call 03333443853 and book in for a free consultation with a life coach or therapist you choose.