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Pessimistic about love


Pessimistic about love

Relationship Counselling

Habits are very powerful and can bring long-lasting changes in your life. According to a study, it is concluded that positive behaviors can help us in achieving our goals in life and can produce desired results.

But saying things like that is easier than doing them practically. Sometimes it is just impossible to change behaviors and habits even if we have the best intentions. And there is a reason behind this, which is our subconscious mind. What we think is reflected in our behaviors, when there is an inner discourse in mind, even subconsciously, it can sabotage the best intentions.

Pessimism is all about negative thoughts, and it should be dealt with properly; otherwise, it can ruin your life. Here in this article, I am going to discuss pessimistic behavior meaning, its effects on relationships, and how to deal with it. If you are pessimistic about love, this article will help you for sure in dealing with it. So let’s get started:

Pessimistic behavior meaning

Pessimism is negative mental thinking towards the outcome of a situation. Pessimistic behavior meaning is to focus only on the negative things of life. For example, when you ask a pessimist “is the glass half empty or half full,” he will reply, “it is half empty.”

Pessimistic person

A pessimistic person is the one who never thinks about positive events in life; he always thinks about what negative can happen in the future. A pessimistic person is always feeling helpless and may also have suicidal thoughts. This could also be because of poor mental health or low confidence and self esteem.

Pessimism makes a person defeatist, which means the individual is ready to accept failure anytime. A defeatist will not even struggle because the individual thinks that everything is going to fail.

The worst thing about being a pessimistic person is that it does not only ruin your life but also has negative impacts on others living around you. If I put this in simple words, pessimism is contagious. It can spread from one person to another. It can be very challenging for family and romantic partners to avoid being negative about life because life has it’s obstacles and challenges.

Famous pessimists

Being pessimist is not that bad if you are at lower end of the scale of being pessimistic. Honestly, we all are pessimists at some point. The problem starts when there is no positivity left in life and you refuse to try. There are plenty of famous pessimists in the world who are the inspiration for others.

One of the very famous pessimistic personalities is Lily James. She is famous for her character “Cinderella” and is a very talented actor all around the world. In an interview, she has shared her experience of how pessimism has affected her professional life, she says:

“I’ve noticed that when I’m acting, I’ll be like ‘I want another take’ but … Probably because I’m in a vulnerable moment, I’ll say ‘I think I want to go again,’ and then I’ll try to explain myself. But when the camera [crew] wants to go again – because the focus or light was off – they’ll say, ‘One more,’ and just do it. So I think that’s what I’ll try to do. We’ve all bought into this attitude of apologizing and being modest, so that now when someone is actually direct and says what they want, you think they’re rude. But they’re not, they’re just clear!”

She also says that her mother is encouraging her to be more optimistic, and she is really trying to look more on the positive side of life instead of being a gloomy person.

Why am I so pessimistic?

Being pessimistic is not a choice people make consciously. Negativity and hopelessness can occur because of various things—pessimistic people can become cynical about trusting people to be faithful. If a person is pessimistic, it helps to know what are causes behind all of this. If you know, root causes you can deal with it. If you are wondering, why am I so pessimistic? Here are some factors that are responsible for a person being pessimistic:

Bad past experiences

Pessimism develops because of external circumstances, for example, bad past experiences. These may include illness, injury, job loss, heartbreak or any other trauma. Sometimes pessimists may push their loved ones away even if when they need them most. Some people are pessimistic because of the negative relationship and bad breakups.


In some cases, people are brought up this way. Their parents are not very appreciating. They always criticize and discourage their children and make them realize they can never do better in their life.

Genetic problems

If you are wondering, why am I so pessimistic?  This can also be a reason behind your pessimism. Yes, pessimism can also be because of genetics. Genetic make-up can affect a person’s perception of the world by increasing negative emotions and experiences.

Stress and depression

Poor mental health is also prone to pessimism. People who are going through depression are more vulnerable to pessimism.  During stress and depression, people have a high tendency to have negative thoughts and have no hope.

How to deal with a pessimistic person

Do you have a pessimistic person in your life? Does this individual always think about negative outcomes more than positive? If you are an optimistic person or a more positive person, it can be hard for you to live with pessimism. As the individual can drain your energy and you may also start thinking negatively about your future. So it would be better to deal with them in a good way. If you are wondering how to deal with a pessimistic person? Here are some tips for you:

Focus on their good qualities

People have different complex qualities. If a person is a pessimist, that does not mean this individual is not a good person. Moreover, this person is not a pessimist by choice. So you need to be there for them and focus on the positive qualities they have. He/she may be going through some unhappy phase of life, so instead of judging them, try to understand.

Communicate effectively

If you don’t know how to deal with a pessimistic person, this is going to help you, for sure. Communication always helps. So if you try to communicate effectively, it will prove helpful. Don’t try to take over expressing control or give advice all the time. It will only make the situation worse. Be honest about how you feel about their negativity but respectfully so that they can understand how their behavior is affecting others.

Encourage them to seek help.

As I have mentioned above, pessimism can also because of stress and depression. If that is the case, that person may need professional help. Look for the signs of depression and ask them to take help from a professional. If you are close to the person, book an appointment for them. Some people are pessimistic because of a negative relationship. If you know one such friend, ask them to go for couples counseling so that they can resolve issues in their relationship or if they partner will not go they can go on their own for the mental support.

Set boundaries

If you are not close to the person, it would be better to set boundaries. For example, if he is at the workplace, try to make limited contact. Your own mental health should be your priority first. If you can not handle a pessimist person, it would be better to maintain distance.

Pessimistic about love


Starting a relationship is easy but maintaining a relationship is not easy at all it takes work. When you are in love or a relationship, you become a little insecure because you think that you might lose a very special person; it is normal and happens with every person. But things become worse when you do not have a single positive thought about your relationship, that is left in your mind. All of this is because of pessimism. A person pessimistic about love becomes cynical about trusting people to be faithful. It is not their fault, but it can bring some unwanted results. Let’s have a look at some of the pessimistic about love examples and some suggestions regarding how you can stop being pessimistic in a relationship.

Pessimistic examples in a relationship

Pessimism can make a relationship difficult for you. It may take your partner away from you because being in a relationship with a pessimistic person means you have to deal with a lot of negativity. Here are pessimistic examples in a relationship. After reading these examples, you can decide on your own if you or your partner is a pessimistic person or not:

  • One common example that you are pessimistic in a relationship is when your partner’s phone rings, you think that it might be from his/her ex or someone trying to take them away from you, and they will go back to them and leave you.
  • When your partner calls you and is quieter than usual, you think that your partner is calling you to break up with you.
  • One of the common pessimistic examples in a relationship is that when your partner is having an argument or angry with you, you think that your partner does not love you anymore; that’s why finding a way to break up with you and get rid of you.
  • If you are tryin dating, you freak out when your partners ask you for commitment even if you like them very much just because you think that this relationship will not work.
  • You always think that you are not enough for your partner. You think that you are not beautiful enough or do not have enough to offer, so you should not be with them.
  • When your partner asks you to meet their parents, you always postpone and make lame excuses because you think that they will not like you.

How not to be Pessimistic?


A pessimistic mindset will not help you or your relationship; it will only ruin everything. All you need is to be more optimistic and less pessimistic. This way, you will feel lighter, and your partner will also be relaxed. You will be motivated and less worried about what the future has for you. But how can you do this? How not to be Pessimistic? It’s not easy I know Don’t worry, I am going to help you here and will suggest for you some very useful tips. So let’s get started:

Replace negativity with positivity

I know saying this is cliche but doing this a bit hard. But if you are willing to change yourself from a gloomy person to a positive person, you can do this. For this, all you need is to find out the source of negativity, where it is coming from. It could be a close person, a colleague, a situation or a TV show. Try to spend less time near these people, or things and avoid this kind of negative TV shows that are programming your mind to think negatively.

Think about good things

If you are in a difficult situation and can’t stop thinking about negative outcomes because of the pessimistic mindset, try to divert your attention. Try to think about what if everything goes right? Think about how your partner can help in this difficult situation. What is a good thing about this situation you are facing right now? You will not only be able to divert your attention from negative thoughts but also be able to think about positive things. Learn to change your train of thoughts.

Practice gratitude

You have good health, a loving family, and a loving partner. If not, you may have good friends or a nice job. There is always something to be thankful for in life. So focus on these things. Be thankful for what you have; it will bring a sense of satisfaction in your life. Practice gratitude; for this, think about at least three good things that happened to you during the day. For instance, be thankful for the meal you had, the water you drank, and returning home alive and safe.

Optimism definition

Optimism definition explains itself in the following way:

“It is a mental attitude focusing on positive outcomes of various situations.”

An optimistic person will always think about the best possible outcome in any given situation. An optimistic person will always see a glass half full, unlike a pessimist who always sees it as half glass empty. The optimism definition explains it well. It is a good trait, but an excess of everything is bad, so there should be balance even in optimism. Too much optimism can make you a little annoying for people around you. It also becomes difficult to see the reality in life and can make slighty naive and vulnerable to users and narcissist.

Pessimistic vs. optimistic

Pessimistic vs. optimistic, what’s the difference? The major difference between pessimistic and optimistic is that an optimistic person will always approach life with a positive outlook; on the other hand, a pessimistic person with a negative outlook. But both of these terms are interlinked somehow.

According to a study made in 2013, it was concluded that optimism is associated with the left hemisphere, and pessimism is linked with the right hemisphere. Low confidence and self-esteem were also linked with the right side of the brain. A study suggested that both optimism and pessimism are significant for the survival of an individual. Communication between the right and left side of the brain helps in maintaining the right and healthy balance between optimistic and pessimistic outlook.

If you ask me Pessimistic vs. optimistic, what is better? I would say a balanced personality having both traits is best for enjoying a better lifestyle and having a constructive perception on things.

Pessimistic Quotes

Dealing with pessimism is not easy. But reading some of the very motivational Pessimistic quotes can help you a lot. These quotes not only clear negative impacts of being pessimistic but can also help in thinking about the positive outcomes. You will also have a better understanding of what pessimism is and how it affects your relationship?

So here are some of my most favorite Pessimistic quotes hope you will also like these:

“A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself and hates them for it.” ― George Bernard Shaw.

“I will be the first to admit that I am a pessimist by nature. It is, after all, the wisest way to be. We, pessimists, have everything to gain, whereas optimists have a fifty-fifty chance of being disappointed.” ― Tamar Myers, As the World Churns.

“No matter how valuable you are and your ideas, fools will certainly play both of you down, so exclude yourselves from the inflammatory environs of fools.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson.

“How does knowing ‘things could be worse’ than what I already deem awful make me feel any better? You mean I could sink even lower? Oh joy!” ― Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway: Quotes, Verse, and Grumblings for Every Day of the Year

“An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight… the truly wise person is colorblind.”― Albert Schweitzer.

“When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative, an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective.”― Harvey Mackay.

“No one wants to follow a pessimist… You can be skeptical, you can be realistic, but you can’t be cynical. If your boss is Eeyore, do you want to work with someone like that? Oh, bother.”― Bob Iger

“Pessimism, when you get used to it, is just as agreeable as optimism. Indeed, I think it must be more agreeable, must have a more real savor, than optimism–from the way in which pessimists abandon themselves to it. ― ARNOLD BENNETT, Things That Have Interested Me

“Lately, a study has suggested that depressed people have a more accurate view of reality, though this accuracy is not worth a bean because it is depressing, and depressed people live shorter lives. Optimists and believers are happier and healthier in their unreal worlds.” ― Anna Funder, Stasiland: Stories from Behind the Berlin Wall.

“There are those who say that it can’t be done, and then there are those who say that it will be done. If I listen to the former, it will never be done. But if I listen to the latter, I’ll find that it’s already done before it’s done.” ― Craig D. Lounsbrough.

“The problem with being prepared for the worst is that the best things in life become easier to ignore…”― Cynthia E Olmedo.

“To be a pessimist is to see everything tragically, an attitude that’s both excessive and uncomfortable. While it’s true that we ascribe no value to the work we produce and that we produce it to keep busy, we’re not like the prisoner who busily weaves straw to forget about his fate; we’re like the girl who embroiders pillows for no other reason than to keep busy.” ― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet: The Complete Edition.


If a person is pessimistic about love, it would better to talk to a professional. The individual might be going through depression or has grudges regarding his/her past experiences. The individual should deal with them first; after this, it will be easy for them to be part of a healthy and positive relationship. Call 03333443853 and have a free consultation with a life coach now.

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