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Stages of grief


Stages of grief/stages of grieving

Grief means intense sorrow or emotional suffering, especially when someone has died. But it is not about that only a person can be grieving if he has lost a job, been through a terrible accident, or had to deal with a breakup or divorce.

It is a universal scenario; we all have to deal with it at some point in our lives. It is a natural response to a loss and brings pain, depression, guilt, and sadness. It is also personal, and there is not a schedule or timeline to follow. You may feel angry sometimes; other times, you become angry or start crying. None of these things are wrong. These feelings are absolutely normal, but the most important thing is to deal with these emotions in time; otherwise, your life will be destroyed.

This article is all about grief and the different stages of grieving. You will learn how different life events can affect you and how you can deal with this grief.

12 stages of grief

Now you know the meaning of grief, let’s have a look at the detailed 12 stages of grief so that you can better understand what is going on in a person’s life at this point and how they can deal with it:

Recovery from a hurtful incident needs time.

Recovery is a time taking process, but if we let ourselves mourn for some time, it will be easy for us to break its grip. Perceiving the value and role of the mourning process allows us to accept reality. Acceptance is the first step towards recovery.

Grievers are not alike.

There is a certain pattern of grieving. However, every griever has a different experience with it. If this pattern is recognized, it becomes easy to help the griever. Unique patterns of grievers guide others regarding what to do or say.

When grieving is initiated?

We go numb when somebody we love passes away or breaks up with us, or any other hurtful incident happens. We feel shocked. This is nature’s method of padding us against misfortune. The length and profundity of this state fluctuate as indicated by our relationship, the reason for death, regardless of whether it was unexpected or expected, and so forth. This shock helps us in absorbing the situation to start we start adjusting ourselves. Guidance and the help of caring people around us can help. As deadness wears off and acknowledgment develops, we recover control of our lives.

Grief leads to depression.

It is for all that grievers feel depressed, but degree of this depression can vary from person to person. This torment, as well, will pass. Being separated from everyone else need not bring loneliness in life. Being in touch with others and reaching out to friends for help can lessen depression and loneliness.

Grief can prove dangerous for health.

The psychological and emotional stress because of hurtful incidents exposes your physical health to the risk of illness. Grievers do not take care of their diet and do not involve in exercise or healthy activities; rather indulge in drinking, smoking, or drugs. We may require a specialist’s recommendation concerning our symptoms, addressing their causes and  providing treatment.

It is normal

The passing of a friend or family member, breakups, and other hurtful incidents make the future exceptionally dubious. We may freeze notwithstanding the obscure and dread existence without the person who is no more a part of our life. It is difficult to accept the reality and, as a result, impossible to recover from it. It entices us to run from life, to evade individuals, and to avoid attempting new things. We may even believe we’re going insane. Tolerance with ourselves and a readiness to acknowledge help empower us to repress shock and grow out of its blurriness.

Guilt feelings are terrible.

Many accuse themselves after a friend or family member’s passing, break up, or accident for the demise itself or shortcomings in the relationship. We all are human, and all have made mistakes as it feels like regret is the best response. But this approach can affect our mental and psychological health badly. Dear companions or counselors can help us cope up and manage these emotions of regret, regardless of whether they are exaggerated or justified.

They become angry

Grieving people normally ask themselves, “Why?” Why him? Why me? Why now? Why like this? The vast majority of these inquiries have no answers. Disappointment at that point makes us feel hatred and outrage. We need somebody to blame: God, clergy, doctors, ourselves, even the other person. On the off chance that we can acknowledge the absence of answers to “Why?” we may start to ask, all things being equal, what would we be able to do now to develop through what has occurred. At that point, we have begun to move past anger towards hope.

Emotional balance is disrupted.

This is one of the toughest phases among the 12 stages of grief. A friend or family member’s demise, breakups, or any other hurtful incident disturb our emotional stability. It feels like several feelings and thoughts are attacking us, and it is overwhelming. Counselors and other grievers can assist us in interpreting and managing these emotions. As we comprehend what we experience, we can discover proper approaches to ventilate our feelings and channel them productively.

There is lack of purpose and direction.

There is some kind of drifting during the grieving process. Necessary and familiar activities may feel like a burden. We want to wander off in fantasy land about what was or fantasize about what may have been. If we can cultivate an appreciation for the past and start to evaluate our potential for the future, this will demonstrate a passing stage, not a lasting state.

Healing starts

It requires some effort and time, but slowly the day of hope comes for the griever. We figure out how to communicate feelings without shame or conciliatory sentiment. We start to feel worried for and show interest in others. We settle on choices and accept accountability for ourselves—those who have recovered work as great inspiration.

Reaffirming and choosing life

At last, mourners perceive and grasp a healing truth, like, “Grief has transformed me, and however has not destroyed me. I’ve found new things about myself. I can find new things about myself. I’m not, at this point, my “old self” yet I’m still me, I face the future with certainty. Life is uncertain, but worth living and worth fighting for.

Stages of grief relationship

In 1969, a Swiss-American therapist named Elizabeth Kübler-Ross wrote in a book of her named “On Death and Dying” that we can divide grief into five different stages. Her perceptions came from long periods of working with critically ill people.

Her grief theory got known as the Kübler-Ross model. While it was initially contrived for individuals who were sick, these phases of melancholy have been adjusted for different encounters with misfortune, as well.

These five stages of grief relationship are as follows:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

The five phases of distress might be the most generally known, yet it’s a long way from the main mainstream phases of grief theory. A few others exist, too, incorporating ones with seven phases and ones with only two. Just like that, not everyone will face all of these stages of grief relationship as people are different. Let’s have a look at the grieving processes a person goes through in a relationship.

Stages of relationship cheating

Relationship cheating is an act of doing the flirting, playing with your partner, and deceiving them. This can be more hurtful and painful. A person living alone can have a more healthy state of maturity and development of emotions opposed to a codependent individual in a lot of cases. 8 stages of grief prevail in breakup conditions.

When two people fall in love and decide to have a relationship, this closeness, and caring stimulate a constant dread of separation. Thus this fear leads to an unhealthy mental state and developmental state. Stages of relationship cheating are as follow;

  • Emotional betrayal: emotional attachment with persons other than one’s partner
  • Cheating: Doing small acts of cheating
  • Habitual perfidy
  • Progression in infidelity
  • breakup


A breakup means melting, dissolution, or split into pieces. It can be defined as terminating your relation or bond. A breakup may happen because of many reasons.  It can be dual or only one party intend to end the relationship with you. One has to pass 8 stages of grief breakup.

The ending or termination of intimate relation that one share with his partner is defined as a breakup. If this termination is one-sided, this can be called an act of dumping.

7 Stages of grief breakup

Grief breakup has seven major stages. The breakup process occurs in phases. There are many phases beyond these 7 stages of grief breakup. Breakup is always a hurting and painful process. Recovery from a breakup is normally slow and terrible especially when you were deeply in love.

Only basic stages of grief breakup that can lead to breakup are explained below such as;

  • Prevailing dissatisfaction: a higher level of dissatisfaction and loss of interest of one partner can lead to a breakup.
  • Acts of hurting: breakup is more probable to occur when one partner hurts others’ feelings without considering emotional and mental attachments.
  • Continuous fights: is a major factor beyond the breakup when both partners negotiate a solution to a problem in their way without compromising on a single solution that can lead to fights and ultimately breakups.
  • Intensifying troubles: growing problems and trust issues can intensify the situation and favors breakup.
  • Imbalanced involvement: of partners in a relationship is also a stage of a breakup. When issues are not resolved, they become intensified and more apt to breakup.
  • Growing anger: anger is the worst enemy of man. It can destroy a person’s life, his relations, and even a loved one.
  • Termination: last and ultimate stage of grief breakup is terminating the bond that is continuously hurting, stimulating one’s anger, destroying life, and causing high levels of anxiety and stress.

Stages of grief breakup for guy

According to many studies, Man are considered to be less emotional, expressive, and strong. Grief breakup is parallel to depression that is destroying ones happiness on a regular basis resulting in less chances of recovery with every passing day. To pass stages of grief, break up for guy is also a difficult and thorny process. Sincere guys suffer a lot as compared to dumpers. Though it could be a source of entertainment and joy for the dumper guy ie narccisists. For a more compassionate guy. To overtake the grief phase and rising anxiety can even lead to trauma, abnormal mental state, and ultimate death in a few cases reported. There are seven stages of grief breakup for guy such as;

  • A state of turmoil: the first thing that a guy suffers is a state of shock with waves of shocks. He feels sick to the stomach that it has happened with him. For sincere ones, it is a real shock, stress period and sometimes falls ill. In this state, the guy feels depressed and overwhelmed with grief.
  • Rejection of fact: few admit it by placing a stone on their heart but, others want to deny the fact. They just don’t want to think about it and consider it a mistake. They resist changing their mind. They just want to remain in the imagination that their ex will make contact and come back.
  • Rising rage: a guy feels rage and anger and asks himself why he had spent his time with such a dumper. He wants to criticize himself. He now shows fury on others without any reason. He feels bad and full of anger. This anger can be lethal for his mental and physical state of health.
  • Prevailing misery: depression is a hopeless state feeing there are no options to have grown-up thoughts and mature thinking capabilities judgement becomes clouded because the mind tells you there is no way forward. Higher stages of depression can even stimulate one to end his life and make him free of all these troubles.
  • Pleading for a last chance: guy tries his best to test whether he can get his relation back or not. And in the end, after all his efforts, he finally comes to know that it is useless to invest energy and time in getting his ex back because it is useless.
  • Acknowledgment: finally, the guy accepts the breakup and strengthens himself to move on and overtake the depression state. This is the last stage he feels strength, strong, and tougher. At this stage, he accepts that he can’t do anything to change what has just happened. Many guys reach this stage after a few days, but some take a few months, exceptional cases may even take years.

Stages of grief breakup dumper

If a person finds his partner being disingenous or cheating on them they may respond in two ways. They may have a thunderous fight or silent termination. Dumpers are usually emotionless and disencumber. They are self-centered and egotistical. In many cases, they are well aware of the consequences they have to face, but they are still not empathetic and concerned. They want to enjoy and don’t consider how much breaking up with this person will hurt them.

Cruel Dumpers faced fewer phases and less severe impact than the phases of sincere ones and individuals with empathy. Stages of grief breakup dumper are the following;

  • Highly astonished: they usually consider that they will never get caught. Dumpers are tricky and sharp-minded people.
  • State of agonize: they feel a little worry
  • Anxiety: In a few cases, anxiety prevails because they don’t want to leave their partner and feel sorry for their actions, but their partner doesn’t want to forgive them.
  • Relief: at this stage, the breakup is over.
  • Nostalgia: dumpers sometimes miss their partner, want to apologize and get back what they have lost because of their bad acts or cheating.
  • Confusion and acceptance: after a long period of confusion, in the end, they accept reality.

Stages of grieving after an affair

Just like other cases, stages of grieving after an affair also follow the same pattern. First, there is a shock, then denial, stage of grief bargaining, regret, depression, and at last acceptance. We all need to keep in mind that nothing is permanent; we can deal with any difficulty in life. If not alone, then with the help of others, we can do this.

People are different, so they have different grieving patterns following different stages of grieving after an affair, based on their nature and severity of the condition. So if someone in your family or friends is going through this grieving process, try to help them.

Grieving divorce

Separation speaks to the demise of a marriage and all the deepest desires that went into it. Also, the demise of a marriage, similar to any passing, requires a lamenting cycle for mending. Grieving divorce comes up with sadness and loneliness.

Have you ever experienced individuals enthusiastically restless to show you how little they were harmed from their divorce? Normally these people have many rages and are mostly immersed in destructive and senseless fights with spouses.

In any case, most importantly, they appear to need to show the world—and themselves—that they are not hurt. No hurt, no misery, and no dread—simply fury and fighting.

“I couldn’t care less” and “This doesn’t make a difference to me” and “I simply need that bad person out of my life”— these can turn into the trademarks of individuals stuck occupied with maintaining a strategic distance from or covering their hurt. What’s more, the more that they stay in this state of denial, the more they become dangerous for themselves and the people around them.

Stages of grief divorce

It is thought that there are various phases of grief during and after separation. There are varieties of these phases, yet they are fundamentally the same as the phases of grief a person faces when he has to deal with the death of a loved one.

Out of the numerous specialists and researches executed, most concur that these stages while grieving divorce don’t go in an accurate order. At the point when you have proceeded onward to one, you can unquestionably return to another. The stages of grief divorce you will presumably likewise encounter are the following.

Denial phase

You can’t accept this is occurring. I truly don’t understand this. The truth is that It had been coming for quite a while.

Fear and pain

This truly harms from various perspectives, and how am I going to go on without anyone else financially, emotionally, etc.? Divorce will feel painful, comes with different kinds of pain; some of it will never disappear. That is OK, however. Pain tells you you’re not dead; it is very well, maybe your companion. Pain works like motivation. Pain motivates you to stop feeling sorry about yourself and do something better.

There was a banner in an academy that stated, “Pain is weakness leaving your body!” This banner clearly explains that no matter how drained you feel, you can get over it. It’s OK to be apprehensive during this time. Most of us have the greatest feelings of dread like our children would be OK during and after this wreck. Some additionally had the dread of losing their home and a large group of other monetary issues. But you need to endure all the wreck – and you will, no doubt!


How could that person I traded promises with before God, friends, and family be doing this? What did I do to deserve this? When the other partner makes the entire separation into an epic fight when it doesn’t need to be, you feel anger. In addition to this, you will also feel frustrated. Try not to let these feelings cause you to do something unacceptable or cloud your judgment to an extreme. Do not be provoked or infuriated.

Bargaining stage of grief

You may begin to guarantee your life partner generally unreasonable things to stop the separation. Or then again, you reveal to yourself you will stop or begin certain behavior to change this. The bargaining stage of grief feels terrible. But kindly, don’t humiliate yourself. Chances are the ball is rolling; don’t ask your companion to stop the separation if it’s inescapable. Keep your chin up! The bargaining stage of grief with God may also start. It’s astonishing how I’ve seen individuals get during emergencies, making statements like, “I guarantee I won’t do X in the event that you just let me have my life back” or the inverse, “I disappointed on you, God! How could you do this to me?”


You believe that everything is your fault – possibly some of it is. It feels like you are thoroughly botching your children’s lives, and they will end up being in an orphanage. Attempt to make an effort not to stress out about yourself. Basically, in the case of separation you may have made some mistakes; acknowledge that reality and try to learn from your mistakes. Guilt is like a heavy weight attached to your ankle. If you want to move on, you need to get rid of that first you are only human.

Depression stages of grief

Man sad cry or strain alone on black background black & white color

This is all getting comfortable at this point. The individual you were supposed to spend your whole life with is not going to be with you anymore—that is where the depression stages of grief started. Discouragement is inescapable during and after a separation. Acknowledge it and manage it. It ought to disseminate with time. In case you’re having more despondency than what you want to deal with, get some assistance! Or then again, get some assistance in case you’re simply somewhat discouraged. Specialists, advisors, support groups, social group gatherings, and friends can be a major assistance.


Depression stages of grief are not easy to handle, but you can do it if you start acknowledging your issues. You need to devise some ways of dealing with stress and poor emotional mechanisms to manage this entirely. There is no fleeing from it any longer. You need to face the situation and face crippling and negative thoughts. If you had no idea about this separation thing at all, it could take a longer time. It is one of the most important stages in stages of grief divorce.


Those who are grieving need to understand that they cannot control the grieving process. According to clinical experts, what you can do is prepare for stages of grief. Understanding what is causing them to suffer can help, as can conversing with others and attempting to determine issues that cause critical pain, for example, feeling remorseful for a friend or family member’s demise.

Grieving can keep going for quite a long time or years. In case you’re confused about whether the grieving process you are going through is normal or not, talk to a professional. Help from someone is beneficial in going through stages of grief.

That was all about the stages of grieving; I hope so this article will prove helpful for you.

Call 03333443853 for a free consultation today with a therapist or life coach.

Further reading

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