Cheating with the same woman for years
Cheating with the same woman for years, isn’t it cruel? Probably you never saw it coming? Maybe it was because you trusted him blindly and were not expecting this from him. He promised to never do it again or he doesn’t know that you know. When this happens, we can’t trust anyone in future you ask yourself why does he keep betraying me. Is that how you are feeling? I can understand why you would feel this way..
Everyone is unique in their own way, so are the relationships they share. The relationship, a person, shares with others tells us a lot about them. Everything matters. We see that couples still find a way to live together after an extramarital affair. Love and intimacy levels may differ here. But how do others think of a cheater? Especially when he has cheated with the same person over the years, what does it mean? How can someone handle it? This article is going to cover all these questions. So, let’s get started:
What does Cheating say about a person?
What does Cheating say about a person? Cheating is a cruel act and for sure can tell a lot about a person. A person may be bad at the core, greedy and selfish if he cheats, there can be several reasons. It can also be a signal that the person has deep-seated issues. But still, when you are in a relationship, you should be honest; otherwise, you will hurt your partner. Here is what I think about “What does cheating say about a person?”:
They are unhappy
If an individual keeps on Cheating with the same woman for years, there is a chance that he might be unhappy in his relationship. May be the relationship is not right, or they are going through some kind of depression. When people are not happy, they tend to make decisions that they will not make under normal conditions.
If you feel this is a definition of your partner, it is the time to talk to them. You will notice the sadness in your partner, so it would be better to ask them if something is going on. He/she will probably be happy that you noticed and ready to talk about it. It will make them feel good that they can talk about their sadness, even if it is related to the relationship. In some cases unfortunately repetitive cheating happens because you are not right for each other which is making your partner unhappy.
“The problem is sometimes people are afraid to say they are not happy and instead will be cheating with the same person”
They are insecure
Another major thing that Cheating can tell about someone is that they are very insecure in their relationship, leading to unfaithfulness. Insecurity shows that the person may want a confidence boost, and if someone finds them attractive and approaches them, it bolsters their ego. In some cases some men are trying to prove to other men that they are worthy and that they can get loads of women.
This is very immature but true. It is very upsetting when someone cheats on you no matter what the reason may be. If you feel like your partner is insecure in a relationship, try to make them feel important. Tell them that you find them attractive and are happy to have them in your life. It will make them stop from taking any severe action like cheating.
“Not everyone can forgive cheating and this is important to remember”
They are selfish
One main thing that Cheating tells about an individual is that they are selfish. A cheater will always have this characteristic as a part of his personality, and at some point, you may notice their selfishness, but as you love them, you will most probably ignore resign to ignoring this but sadly the consequences can arise later. A selfish cheater will never have a second thought about what he is doing. He will not think about what impact it will leave on his partner or the person with whom he is having an affair. He will always think of himself and how he should fulfil his own needs within a relationship or outside a relationship.
They are emotionally immature.
We mostly think that cheaters are emotionally immature, which is right. It is somehow related to selfishness as they just can’t think how having sex or affair with other people will affect their partner. If your partner is immature emotionally, you will notice that they mostly put their happiness before and will not give a second thought about what you need from them in a relationship. You will notice that they are self-centred while arguing. They are greedy, and whenever you need their help, they will not be there to support you.
They have commitment issues.
Some people are commitment freaks, so whenever there is a time to commit to one person, they just vanish and make excuses, and other times they cheat so that they don’t have to remain attached to one person. They just want to sabotage the relationship they feel they are getting serious or just want to convince them that they will not be with someone for the long term some men use it as a signal to move on or just playing games with you expressing confusion about commitment.
Why do cheating husbands stay married?
According to a survey, about 2.2% of married people said they have been with more than one partner during a year. Different surveys have shown that 15 to 25 % of married people have extramarital affairs, and most of them are men. But the question arises why husbands cheating with the same woman for years, don’t want to divorce. Sometimes they just are in love with their wife or have kids.
Here are some reasons behind why a why husbands cheating with the same woman for years, don’t want to divorce:
They don’t have a backup plan.
Why do cheating husbands stay married? Some men stay married even after having multiple affairs because they think their partner is not smart enough to catch them. So they have never thought about having a backup plan. For now, they just choose to go with the flow to have some extra time so that they can decide what they want when they are ready.
They don’t have any exit plan.
When men cheat a woman in marriage, one reason can be they wanted to get rid of it, they don’t want to stay married anymore. They think that marriage cannot be saved now. But sometimes they still choose to stay in the marriage; it is because they are exposed and don’t have any plan about where they will live after separation and how everything will go. The financial implications also scare them from making a move.
Feelings are unique
We all love to feel appreciated and attractive the same is the case with men. When they are going through an emotional roller coaster in relationship or marriage is going through a bad time, they become vulnerable. So they get attracted to someone who gives them temporary attention or a comfort they have been seeking. They choose to stay in the marriage because these emotions are not the most important thing for them. After that moment of weakness, he may not even feel the need to keep seeing that other woman but in some cases the other woman fills a void or there is an emotional connection unfortunately.
They do not want to let it go.
Why do cheating husbands stay married? Sometimes when a person cheats they may build a stronger connection with the other woman so he may try to find some way to be in touch with her. But he does not want to end his marriage because he has this comfortable feeling of marriage with his wife.
He thinks that he has options.
A person who cheats on his wife with the same woman for years thinks he always has another option. He thinks that he can hide his affair until he can figure out the right option. If he thinks that his wife was the reason behind his Cheating (somehow), he feels that he has the right to choose between his wife and the other woman.
He is confused
Sometimes he may just cheat in a weak moment and build such a strong connection with the other woman. He may feel ashamed but still be in touch with the other woman because he does not want to hurt her feelings by completely breaking up. He stays with you too because you have not taken a stronger step like, make him cut the connection with her. Neither of you have any idea what to do, nor can he find the answer.
“If you do not make strong ultimatums with a man he may carry on seeing the other woman”
He still loves you
It is a kind of good news if you really love your husband and want him back. He may hate himself for cheating you, but may not have any idea how he can repair the emotional damage he caused. He is ashamed of his actions and regrets it. If you want him back, you can give him a chance but sometimes because of cowardice and being too amenable in character he has not broke it off with the other woman, some men are people pleasers trying to keep everyone happy..
Cheating with the same person
This feels bad to hear from a wife that her husband cheated on her with the same person. It becomes even worse when he has been cheating with the same person for years. You think that he has fallen in love with that other woman and this thought eats you up inside. Cheating with the same person can make your marriage fall apart. But why does someone keep on Cheating with the same person let’s have a look at it?
What does it mean if he cheats with the same girl?
What does it mean if he cheats with the same girl? Here are some possibilities if he cheats with the same person again and again:
He cheated twice with the same girl.
He cheated twice with the same girl, why? This happens most in relationships. When a person is missing something in a relationship, he looks for it outside the relationship. When he finds it outside of a relationship, he becomes comfortable. The only missing thing is available from that particular woman so he tries to stay in touch with that woman and hides it from you so that he can have both.
He is in love with that other woman.
What does it mean if he cheats with the same girl? This happens when the marriage is falling apart, and you two do not share a stronger bond. He just met someone he likes initially it was just an affair, but now he is in love with that woman. So if he is staying in the marriage, it means it is because of finances, kids or mortgage issues, or he is taking some time to play everything so that he can eventually process the divorce he could be stalling so that he can position everything in his favour.
When your husband cheats with the same woman twice
When your husband cheats with the same woman twice, it feels terrible. But it is totally up to you how you want to handle it and the nature of your husband. These kinds of issues must be resolved with the help of couples counselling. If you two don’t want to stay together, It would be better to end this as soon as possible as two have a whole life ahead and can have someone better a relationship needs to bring you happiness and if it fails to do so it may be time to move on.
Can a marriage be saved after multiple affairs?
One thought behind this is that if a wife and husband are in love with each other and truly care about each other, they can try to recover their relationship from the pain of extramarital affair, even if there were multiple affairs. So, yes, your marriage must not be dissolved; it is not destined to break necessarily. I am not saying this on my own, but I am talking about marriage statistics.
Marriages that have been through disastrous things like Cheating are really strong in the first place. A strong foundation was the reason behind getting over infidelity. In some cases, marriage counselling helped a lot to regain lost trusts and commitment issues. But in some cases marriages survived even without counselling.
But you need to keep in mind that trust is the most important thing if the trust is not regained it is impossible to save a marriage. Here counselling steps in again, it can take from days to months and even a year to gain trust with the help of a qualified counsellor.
In my opinion, it really does not matter whether your husband is involved with many women or have been cheating with the same person over the course of the marriage. Damage is done in both cases. But it feels awful when your husband cheats with the same woman twice. A lot of factors are involved here, for instance, individual circumstances and history of the relationship. Getting over it is not easy at all.
So if someone tells you that he has a simple magic recipe to use which can recover your marriage from the disastrous effects of infidelity, run for your life it’s not true infidelity is hard to tackle but albeit not impossible.
Healing your marriage
If you have to deal with multiple affairs of your husband with the same person, you will have to struggle a lot to see a good future. You may have trusted him sincerely for the first time when he told you that he was sorry, only to discover again that he was cheating on you with the same person. You may wonder my Husband cheated twice should I stay? If you feel dismayed, you have every right. But there are still some ways to heal from infidelity in marriage. Let me share some ways that can help you with that:
Ask them to cut off contact.
First thing you need to do to start the healing process is to ask your partner to cut off every contact with other women. It would be impossible to function your marriage if you think your partner is in touch with the other woman. To end an affair, putting a stop on sexual intercourse is not enough; it also requires putting an end to text messages, emails, coffee breaks and any other kind of communication that may lead to continue emotional or physical intimacy between your husband and that woman.
Ask your partner some questions.
Now you know that your partner has cheated on you more than once with the same woman, he knows that he is exposed. So now there is nothing to hide, he should be honest with you about the reasons behind his unfaithfulness, especially his reasons for being with the same person over and over again. The broken trust can be regained only if the cheating partner is completely honest. Although there is no need to know every detail of the affair still you might have some questions in your mind, ask him these questions. If he still tries to hide something from you, it will not be easy to regain trust. You can ask these questions in COUPLES THERAPY FREE CONSULTATION NOW
Tell him how you feel.
If you have feelings of anger in your heart, you can’t trust your partner again. You need to acknowledge these emotions and let these go out. It is not easy, but you can do this if you want to save your marriage. For this, you need to talk to your partner and let him know how you feel, tell him how his actions have caused you pain. He may avoid having this discussion with you or may avoid being honest too. You should talk about your disappointments, doubts, feelings of sadness and anger, everything you have in your mind. Do not try to hold your feelings or pretend that you are okay with everything. This will only increase the distance between you two and you will be filled with resentment.
Try to avoid resentment.
It may seem the most difficult task, but it is necessary to avoid resentments if you want to move on. Your marriage will only succeed if you try a little hard. Although it may seem overwhelming, it is more doable. Almost every other person thinks that Cheating will automatically lead to divorce, but most people will try their best to reconcile. If you have many resentments in your heart, it won’t be possible to see good in your partner. If your partner has apologized to you and is trying to change his behaviour, you need to focus on his current attitude, instead of thinking about his past mistakes. This way, it will be a little bit easier and less complicated to heal your marriage.
What to do?
Relationships are complicated and need continuous efforts. You have to make compromises sometimes because we all are not alike. But the problem starts when one partner tries to look for things he wants from someone other than his partner. This leads to Cheating. So what can you do about it? Here are some suggestions for you.
Husband cheated twice should I stay.
Husband cheated twice should I stay? If your husband cheated you twice, I would say there is no point of trusting him again. If you try to give him a chance, nothing will be the same as it was. Things may get better if he wants this too and if he is ready to do anything to get you back. But if he is a selfish person, try to get away from him. You have a whole life ahead, and you can find someone better and have a beautiful life.
My husband still works with the woman he cheated on me with
My husband still works with the woman he cheated on me with, what should I do? If they are working at the same place and your husband does not have a better offer yet he has to work here, you have to deal with it and I know this is hard but because of the financial complications it could be difficult to leave.
My husband still works with the woman he cheated on me with, what should I do? You don’t have any choice if you want to work things out with your husband you have to trust him again. But by this, I don’t mean you have to blindly trust on him, be active and look for any changes in behaviour or any signs of dishonesty before making any decisions on the fate of your relationship.
Marriage is not easy; both spouses have to put their efforts to make it work. The most important thing is you two need to be honest with each other. Cheating can ruin everything, and if a husband keeps on Cheating with the same woman for years, you start questioning yourself, “Am I not enough?”. I have tried my best to address all the questions you might have in your mind about your marriage and your husband’s Cheating with the same woman for years. Hope so you will find all these answers helpful. If you are facing difficulty in married life, make sure to consider marriage counselling from a reputable marriage counsellor. If your husband refuse to stop seeing the other woman in some cases you may have to walk away. HAVE A FREE COUPLES THERAPY CONSULTATION NOW