Switch Currency:

  • Relationship Coaching London
  • Relationship Coaching London
    Generic selectors
    Exact matches only
    Search in title
    Search in content
    Post Type Selectors

He doesn’t want to marry me

He doesn’t want to marry me

He doesn’t want to marry me” some of us may have said this to ourselves or a friend because nothing is going in the right direction with our current relationship. But why does this hurt so badly? Why do we think that a person we are in love with has different plans about this relationship and does not want to marry?

Marriage is a big deal, and comes with a huge commitment, and honestly not everyone is ready for this. If you want to get married and a person you are in love with is not ready for this it feels devastating. Maybe he is not really into this whole marriage thing or maybe he does not want to marry you. Nobody wants to waste their time where there is no hope for the future. Nobody wants to spend time on someone who may never be ready for marriage if you are a woman that wants to get married this can be a significant problem.

In this article “He doesn’t want to marry me”, you will be able to gain a little perspective into what is going on in the mind of your partner and how you can deal with it if your partner is not ready for marriage. So let’s get started:

He doesn’t want to marry

How to know if he doesnt want to marry at all? I know you have this question in your mind if you have proposed to your partner or brought up the possibility of marriage but he does not seem very positive about it. To help you with this I am going to share some signs that will indicate he doesnt want to marry  at all:

He thinks it is stupid to get married

He may think that marriage is a terrible idea. You will see that whenever any of your friend gets married he feels sorry for them. If you have any idea of his past relationships you will see one thing common that those relationships did not last longer than one or two year.In some cases some men think the concept is outdated.

He values independence

“I feel like he doesn’t want to marry me”, some people really appreciate the idea of being independent. They think that if they ever get married they have to make compromises and this thing scares them a lot. So they can’t be in a long term committed relationship. You will notice this behavior in your partner too. He feels like marrying you will take away his freedom.

He is not financially prepared

For some people it is just an excuse but some people are really career oriented. They can’t think about settling down before they have not achieved their career goals. In addition to this they believe that they are not earning enough to start a proper family. So they will try their best to avoid  the marriage topic.

He doesn’t want to marry me anymore

He doesn’t want to marry me anymore” how would you know? Here are some signs to make things clear for you:

He proposed to you but there is no wedding date

Yes this happens, some people flip out after engagement. He might have proposed to you under the stars during a romantic candle light dinner but now when you ask about getting married there is not a serious valid response from his side. It has been a long time since you two got engaged but there is no wedding date. There can be a chance he doesn’t want to marry you anymore.

He seems distant

Since you two got engaged he seems distant to you. It felt like the climax of relationship when he proposed to you but everything is stopped there. He has distanced himself after that it means he is not interested in marrying anymore. Maybe he is scared and you should talk about it but there is no need to rush anything or push him. The decision of getting married must be an organic one.

He is not interested in planning the wedding

One case is the wedding date was not finalized but that is not the issue here, you two have decided a wedding date somehow. There is so much to plan, cake tasting, dress, rehearsals, invitations and talking to priest etc. But he does not seem interested in planning anything. It seems like he is trying to push the wedding as far away as possible.

He seems in bad mood

“How to know, he doesn’t want to marry me anymore?” Since you two have decided to get married he is not in a good mood. Initially everything was good but now everything annoys him. He seems frustrated. He is no more in a good mood to talk about anything. There could be other reasons too so it would be better if you two sit down and talk to each other. The importance of open communication in a relationship is essential.

He doesn’t want to marry again

Remarriage is a really complicated business at any age. Stats show that about 52% first marriages end up in divorce and about 70% of second and third marriages end up in divorce. For me this is a horrible estimation. The point is when you marry first at a comparatively young age you have very little to lose. Moreover you have time to make mistakes and you can figure out things slowly but after a divorce marrying again seems like a tough job. If he doesn’t want to marry again this can be because of the following reasons:

Financial problems

“I feel like he doesn’t want to marry me again”, Marrying again can be a problem as divorces are really expensive. He may have to pay his ex-wife. If he has kids it can be even more difficult to think about marrying again, as he has to support his kids too. He might not have a really good job that is enough to fulfill the responsibility of kids and a new marriage.

New family

Marrying again means forming a new family which is not always easy, it seems difficult to decide whether to blend families from both sides. Will kids be comfortable with the new family? It can be a difficult question if the kids are really young. It is not an issue if they have grown up and are living their own lives. Still you will want to know that your new partner and your kids get along. He might have these things in his mind too and that is why he doesn’t want to marry again or is a little reluctant.

Toxic ex-partner

He might not want to get married again because he was in a toxic marriage which started fine but later on, things become worse and worse. He might be blaming marriage for everything his ex-partner did wrong. It may be that they were good during dating but once they got married thing deteriorated ending up in divorce after a lot of conflicts. So now if you ask him to marry again he just avoids it.He has lost faith in the constitution of marriage.

He doesn’t want to marry you

You are not sure whether he does not want to marry at all of but he does not want to marry you. I have shared some signs that you will notice if he really does not want to get married at all or just now but it has nothing to do with you. Now I am going to explain some signs that will indicate he does not want to marry you. So let’s have a look at these:

Refrains from labelling the relationship

In the early stages of relationships it is normal where one partner or even both try to refrain from labelling the relationship. But if you have been in a long term relationship and still your partner behaves this way he might not be interested in getting married to you. There can be many reasons behind it, but no matter what the reason is it is not a good thing for your relationship.

He does not talk about the future enthusiastically

When two people are in relationship it is natural that they talk about the future, especially when they have been together for a long time. With time it becomes more and more important to discuss these things. But whenever you talk about your future or ask him where this relationship is going, he changes the subject. It can be a warning sign that he is not interested in marrying you.

You haven’t met his family yet

“I feel like he doesn’t want to marry mehow to be sure?”you have been in relationship for a long time now, but you have never met his family, you have never even met his close friends. This is a red flag in a relationship. May be he has some issues with his family but if he does not and still avoids it there is possibility he is not serious about getting married to you. A man who is really interested in getting married to you he will want you to meet his parents and best friends.

You are not in his future plans

First of all if you talk about the future he will avoid talking about it. But if you ask about his future plans in life he will talk about his career, traveling plans and you will see that you are not a part of these plans because he did not say anything about you. Moreover he will not be interested in knowing your future plans. It means he does not see you as a longtime partner and fixture in his life.

He gets angry whenever you talk about marriage

Whenever you start talking about planning the future together or getting married he changes the subject and then if you try to pursue this topic one more time he starts getting angry. You will be annoyed to see this frustration. If he has some other issues like trauma etc. regarding marriage he will share his concerns with marriage. But if there is nothing like that and he does not try to even resolve the matter by discussing it with you this means he is not interested in you in regards to marriage.

He doesn’t want to marry me should I leave him

He doesn’t want to marry me should I leave him? A lot of people will find themselves in this situation wondering what to do next. It is not easy to end a long term relationship and just move on from it. It seems like you have just wasted your time on someone who does not share your vision and love for them and now you are clueless as to what to do next.

If you are wondering “He doesn’t want to marry me should I leave him?” here are some suggestions for you:

Talk to him

When you think about settling down in your relationship you are a little scared too. Same is the case with your partner. But sometimes you just start assuming things on your own. It is not a healthy attitude. Whatever you have in your mind you need to talk to your partner about this . If his behavior is changed and you notice it you need to ask him why is he behaving so? Be supportive and do not pass judgments. Never make assumptions in relationships always clarify everything.

Trust his needs

If  he tells you that he is not ready to get married right now and wants some time it means he is positive about getting married and just needs some time to prepare himself. You would never want to walk down the aisle with a person who was not interested in getting married in first place. You have invested so much time into this relationship and now it would be foolish to ruin everything. try to trust his needs and give him the time he needs. Give him adequate time as long as you believe he is sincere.

Figure out why it  is it important for you to get married

We all have some expectations from marriage and our own beliefs about it. So it is important to know why you want to get married and why he does not. Sometimes you want  the same things but in different package. Sometimes we just want to get married because of family pressure or just because it is a social construct. It has nothing to do with the couple but just other people. Marriage should not be about others but for the couple only. So talk to your partner when you have your concepts clear. If you are in a happy relationship, he is really loving, and loyal to you, so he thinks that there is no need to get married just to label the relationship, somehow he is right. Think about it thoroughly and then make any decision, it is totally fine to end a relationship if you do not want the same things.

“Never try to force a man into marriage-M.D.D”

Couples therapy

It is normal to have issues in a relationship one partner may want one thing and the other wants something different. This leads to conflicts in the relationship which is not good. Sometimes there are little misunderstandings and both partners are unable to identify the real issue. In that case couples therapy can help a lot. A lot of people are getting benefit from couple therapy.

But make sure to consider a reliable counselor, as you are going to share your personal matters. If counselor is not experienced and qualified enough you may end up ruining your relationship. If you two do not have much time free because of your busy professional life you can also consider online counseling. No matter wherever you are you can connect with your counselor via smart phone or laptop whatever you have. BOOK COUPLES THERAPY NOW

Be Blunt

You need to find out the reason behind why is he reluctant. It could be because of his parent’s marriage, upbringing or a childhood drama. Some people have commitment fears too. You two together can work on these fears and can have a happy future ahead. But if there is no proper reason behind his avoidance you need to be blunt too DON’T WASTE YEARS OF YOUR LIFE WAITING FOR A MAN TO MARRY YOU. Make your needs clear and tell him what you want. If he does not agree it would be better to part your ways and move on from this relationship. I know it is not easy but it is for the best.

He doesn’t want to marry me reddit

Reddit is an excellent platform to share your thoughts. People share their problems and thoughts and other users come up with some helpful suggestions. But not all of them are really helpful. I know you might want to know what other people have to say about it. So if you are looking for “He doesn’t want to marry me reddit suggestions” let me share some with you:

“He doesn’t want to marry you, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with you. if you force him into marriage, though, he will grow to resent you. he doesn’t want to be married, period. you have to accept that about him. if you can’t, it may be time to rethink your relationship and whether its right for you. marriage is over hyped anyways. 50% end it divorce, thats true and sad. just enjoy your time with him. labels don’t change your love for another person.”

Another user has the following “He doesn’t want to marry me reddit suggestion for you:

“Marriage is just a glorified legal agreement when you think about it. The ceremony is nice but it’s just one glorified day. Don’t waste your time worrying about one unnecessary detail that could be added, it sounds like you have a solid relationship as it is which makes both of you luckier than most. Your energy could be better spent on more meaningful things like traveling together and having unique experiences. Don’t worry about it.”

Another one shares her own experience:

“Exactly. You don’t have to follow the life script. My fiance never wanted to get married and I fully accepted that. And he himself decided that he wanted me as a wife. We both came together and by coincidence are childfree. We love not having those obligations.”

Here is what another person has to say about “He doesn’t want to marry me”:

“It might not be that he doesn’t want to get married, It might be that he doesn’t want to get married to you. Anecdotally, I’ve heard a couple stories from friends where the guy told the girl he didn’t want to get married. The girl ended up leaving, and then the guy found someone new and got married to the new girl. Sucks for the girl who broke up, but I think it just shows sometimes it’s just a matter of finding the right person.”

This is what I liked the most:

“Don’t do anything solely because it’s what “you’re supposed to do at this age.” If security is what you’re after, remember that nothing is permanent. Marriage doesn’t mean someone won’t leave you. Whatever you think marriage is going to give you, you can have it in a non-married, committed relationship. Don’t ruin a good thing because of social expectation.”


Relationships are not easy to handle and marriage is a big turning point. Some people are ready for it and some are really scared to get into this huge commitment. But you need to understand that marriage is really a beautiful thing, it allows you to celebrate your love with the people you care. But still it is your choice whether you want it or not. If you feel like “He doesn’t want to marry me” talk to him and if no progress is made between you too it would be better to move on from this relationship. I have tried my best to give useful suggestions if you feel “He doesn’t want to marry me” no you are not alone and many other women are in this situation. BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION WITH A RELATIONSHIP COACH,

Further reading

Relationship Courses
All Services
Improve my relationship
I think my boyfriend is cheating on me
Family Therapy

Relationship poems

What to do if a guy doesn’t text you for a week

Stages of a rebound relationship

Feeling used

I am too scared to date again

9 texts to never send a man or woman

I still love my ex

Treat your inbox

Receive our newsletter on the latest deals and happenings. You can unsubscribe any time you want. Read more on our newsletter sign up