I regret getting married

I regret getting married

We all think “I regret getting married” once the honeymoon period is over because life does not look like a fairytale-like it was before marriage. You met your ideal, had a coffee or meal together, and was amazed to see how easy was it to connect and to talk to them everything seemed perfect. After that, you started dating him/her and it felt amazing. You two were so comfortable with each other and made a perfect couple so, decided to share your life with each other. You got engaged the deal was done, and finally, the day of the wedding came. Everyone was there to shower their blessings while you two were sharing your vows to cherish each other till death do us part. You thought it was the start of a wonderful life, but after a week, a year or some years, reality hit you hard. You finally realize that you do not make a perfect couple, and start wondering was it really a mistake to marry this person. And this is when all the regret period starts you are starting to feel you made a terrible mistake.

It is normal to feel this way, but when you realize perfection does not exist in this world, it will be easy for you to give your marriage a chance to survive. This article “I regret getting married” is all about the reasons behind feeling this way and suggestions to deal with it. So let’s get started:

I regret getting married to my wife.

I regret getting married to my wife, for guys it is a little tough to commit to someone, I know plenty of guys who are commitment phobes. Sometimes they just break up with the right person just because they are too scared of the concept of committing to one person. So when they get married, they regret it, especially when they have a lot of single friends.

So if you are thinking “I regret getting married to my wifewhen you get married, you have a family, and you have to give them time. You have to work on things together, talk about monthly budget, talk about other family matters. But you see your single friends enjoying their lives, having no responsibilities of a married man, you start regretting. You thought nothing would change but now feel like spending too much time together is really exhausting. In other cases maybe your wife’s character has turned out to be a little different to what you thought initially or maybe you feel you rushed into this and your thoughts have now changed.

I regret getting married to my husband.

I regret getting married to my husband, well for females regrets are a little different. Women are usually looking for a long term relationship and want to settle sooner rather than later in most cases. So they are always looking for a person with whom they connect with instead of casual dating. When they find one and get married, they feel like life will be easier to share with someone they love dearly. But after that they feel  like they are regretting the whole thing, here are a few reasons behind feeling “I regret getting married to my husband:

  • They had different expectations of a married life based on the life of their parents, but their spouse has different expectations.
  • They don’t share similar views with their partner.
  • They initially found some qualities adorable in their partner, but now these are just annoying.
  • They thought they had discussed everything before marriage but now figured out their partner had significantly different ideas in one or more areas like money management, lifestyle, sex, in laws, house rules,children and religion etc.

I regret getting married and having a child.

Mom and baby indoor

I regret getting married and having a child, getting married is one thing and having a child is another. For some people, getting married is not a big deal, they cherish the concept of sharing a whole life after marriage, and it is not much different for them if they have been living together. The wedding seems a really good idea until they decide to have a child together.

Why do I regret getting married and having a child? Some people do not rush it, and some go into that phase really quick where they plan to have a baby. Initially, it seems like a good decision, but once the pregnancy starts and there is a rush of morning sickness, you start regretting your decision. The real struggle starts once the pregnancy ends, and you have to take care of your baby. There are sleepless nights, continuous crying, dirty clothes and it seems like a 24 hours job not only for mother but for a father too. Becoming a mom and dad is hard; life especially becomes hard for a woman. But it is also a beautiful time too where you give birth to a life and have an opportunity to grow your baby into a really loving human being. Partners should cooperate with each other, feelings of regret are common during this time, but it is not bad to get married and have a child. The truth is the whole dynamic changes after having a child and this is where the problem stems from. Having a child brings a significant amount of pressure.

I regret getting married young.

I regret getting married young”, although people these days are career conscious and do not want to get married soon. But still, some of us are really excited about getting married as soon as possible. For me, it really does not matter; when you feel like you have found the right person you can get married, it is totally up to you. But when some young people get married, they start regretting this decision. Reasons behind “I regret getting married young” could be as follows:

  • They did not think enough about how life would be after marriage.
  • They were too young and did not know that marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities, so now they feel like they are stuck.
  • They were not mature enough
  • They think that being single was the best life, and now they cannot be spontaneous.
  • Their friends are single and enjoying adventures while they have to work on their marriage.
  • They feel like they can’t make career risks now.
  • They miss the old dating days where everything looked exciting.
  • They did not have enough time to actually know their partner.

Is it normal to regret getting married?

Honestly speaking perfection does not exist. No matter whatever you do, you still have a “what if”in your mind. If you ask me, “Is it normal to regret getting married?” I would say yes. We all have bad days. Sometimes even tough these regrets are baseless; we regret just because we are stressed about something else. It is different if there is a reason ie, broken trust, bad communication, disrespect, anger issues or infidelity.

So if you are wondering, “Is it normal to regret getting married?”, there is nothing wrong until there is an actual problem. You can take help from a marriage counsellor if you are having second thoughts about your marriage.  HAVE A FREE COUPLES THERAPY CONSULATION TODAY INCLUDED WITH YOUR PACKAGE

How many regret getting married?

Are you wondering, How many regret getting married? Let me tell you one thing about half of the married people regrets getting married, so there is nothing wrong with it. Even the most confident people regret getting married at some point, but the main thing is that you need to work on your regrets. I will share some tips in the next section too so that you can enjoy your married life and try to improve things.

According to an article in the Daily mail over half of all married couples in Britain regret getting married.

Is it ok to have doubts about getting married?

Is it ok to have doubts about getting married? Getting married is a very important decision and a very big step in one’s life. Everything changes after marriage, so it is normal to have doubts about getting married. But most of these doubts come from anxiety one  may experience before making any big decision. Here are potential reasons behind having doubts about getting married:

Marriage is making you nervous.

It is all about the occasion that is making you nervous. It is very common as the whole idea of repeating vows to your partner in front of a lot of people makes you worried. And you start thinking about the future of this relationship and about the wedding arrangements.

Commitment issues

Thinking about the new journey you are going to start makes you anxious. You keep wondering if this is what you really wanted in life or are you making a wrong decision by committing to this person and you think if I get married it will be hard for me to get away. The commitment is scaring you.

Or there are legitimate issues.

Is it ok to have doubts about getting married? If you are making this decision under the pressure of your parents or just because everyone in your group is married, having doubts is justified. If you are not in love and there is a lack of comfortability with this person you may have to reassess.

What to do when you regret getting married?

What to do when you regret getting married? We all have this question in our mind. I know it is not easy to deal with regrets, but if you really want your marriage to work, you need to do this. So here are some suggestions for you:

Remember, why did you marry.

Why did you get married this person in the first place? Think about the things that bring you two together and try to recall those happy memories in conversation. Talk about recreating the moments that make you fall in love with each other in the first place. Always concentrate on substance and the reason you are together and remember no one is perfect.

Have an honest conversation

Maybe while you are talking, talk about what you really expect from the marriage. Ask your partner about what they have in their mind about an ideal marriage. Share your thoughts, and build your relationship on common ideas. Marriage is not healthy at all if any of the partners is not getting their needs being me met. Find out your partners love language or try COUPLES THERAPY

A little humility can work for you.

Nobody is perfect, so it would be better if you approach the situation with humility. You are not perfect and neither are they, you might have some flaws too that your spouse may have noticed but did not say anything as your spouse recognises you are human and true love is acceptance.

Spend time together

I regret getting married; what should I do? Giving each other time is the best thing you can do for your partner. Quality time is the most precious thing you can give to someone. You need to connect with your partner on a regular basis. If you two have really busy schedules spare at least 10-15 minutes before bedtime to check in with each other. Don’t have time? No need to arrange a romantic date just go out bytogether have a nice cup of coffee or a walk discuss life, and share intimate time and discussion with your partner this is imperative to maintain a emotional connection.

Try reading books

You are having issues in your marriage and want to find solutions; the best thing you can do is reading some useful and insightful books. Some quality books to read are he Love Dare by brothers Alex and Stephen Kendrick, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller and His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr. etc. These books will give you guidance and encouragement.

Think positively

I regret getting married”, I know you are regretting, and at this time you are only thinking about negative things or flaws of your partner. You need to look on the positive side. Make a list of good things about your partner. Keep this list close to you and whenever you feel like regretting your decision look at this list, especially when you are far away from your partner.

Do not assume anything.

Assuming things on your own can make you regret your decision even more. So never do this, if you have some doubts about your relationship or your partner, make sure to talk to your partner and discuss things maturely. Ask your, partner, how he/she feels about the marriage. COMMUNICATION is one of the most important components in a relationship. If there are some things upsetting you then you must let them know.

Choose the person carefully  that you discuss your marriage with

You may want to discuss the whole issue with your friends as you find yourself close to them and think they will understand you, it is good for you to release. But you figure out who has the best intention towards you and your marriage. Sometimes you think of a person as your friend, but that is not really the case sometimes jealousy and manipulation from friends can destroy a marriage. People look sweet, but they don’t show their true self. This is the time when you have negative thoughts about your partner, and a mean person will encourage these negative thoughts. So you need to stay away from people who can’t point out positive things in your life but will encourage you to think about all the baseless negative things. Choose someone trustworthy and mature to give you objective and balanced advice to assist you with the emotional strain you are feeling.

Talk to a marriage counsellor.

What to do when you regret getting married? This is the most important thing I am suggesting to you. You should also think about premarital counselling before you make a decision to get married and couples therapy prior to going through with a divorce. It seems really ridiculous to me that couples do not think about getting into marriage counselling before they decide to divorce.

It is an unwritten rule that before you go to make an important decision, you need to have a clear perspective of everything, only a professional can help with this. It’s been concluded that couples that have premarital counselling as about 30% higher success rate and about 40% of marriages are saved if couples consider counselling after getting married.

A house that is almost burned is not easy to rebuild, but somehow marriage counselling is effective to save a marriage. It is not necessary that you go with your partner you can try it first alone, you will really get useful tips and guidance and ask your partner to join you later in subsequent sessions.

I regret getting married Reddit.

I know a lot of you might want to know about I regret getting married Reddit suggestions, so I have searched and here are what people have to say about it:

A guy said why he regretted his marriage:

“Her personality changed dramatically from the person I was dating. Stereotypical changes when we got married – way less sex and more entitlement. Another HUGE change about 8 years into the marriage with a 3-year-old kid together. I would never have dated the person she became at that point.”

Here is what another guy has to say:

“I waiver back and forth about the regret part, but the reason is 90% sex (or lack thereof). When we got engaged, she was always interested in it, and this wasn’t a honeymoon phase stuff. We’d been together for 4+ years at that point. Once we got engaged, the sex dropped off a ton and obviously didn’t get better after the wedding. I raised enough of a stink about it that she took some steps to make things better (no more Lexapro, thank god) but its never gotten back to where it used to be. As I’ve said in other threads, it’s not a dead bedrooms situation, but it can be pretty frustrating.”

Here is an I regret getting married Reddit from a woman:

“The first year is probably the hardest because you’re still learning about each other, learning how to co-exist, etc. Be open and honest about your feelings, ALWAYS. Communication is key. If that doesn’t work, ask him why he married you. My husband doesn’t vocalize much. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “If I didn’t like it I’d say something. Nothing means it’s all good.” Sometimes I’d just like a compliment, but I’ve learned to respect our differences. Maybe take the love language quiz too. Knowing your partners love language can be a huge help!”

Another woman said:

“Love is an action and not a feeling. Sit down together and come up with a plan to date each other. What are your love languages? Read the 5 Languages Of Love together and determine which language you are so you can work to meet each other’s needs. Remember that love changes, and it is t always a romantic “omg I’m in love” feeling. Being friends in a marriage is actually what you should strive for.”

I regret getting married and having a child Reddit.

If you are looking for “I regret getting married and having a child Reddit suggestion” here is how you can handle it according to a Reddit user:

“Happily married with two kids here. We make sure to set aside time for us to do our own thing. Mondays I go out with the guys for a few drinks after the kids go to bed and she relaxes by herself for a couple of hours. Then one day she will go out, and I’ll chill out by myself. We have both grandparents nearby so on the weekends one day I’ll take the kids to one of their places, and the next day she will take the kids to the other one. So we negotiated free time to ourselves, and it’s nice.”

Here is what another person says about I regret getting married and having a child Reddit:

Marriage/kids is a crapshoot, but when it works, there is nothing better. We have been married 36 years had 2 sons (28 & 32) who give us great joy. Nothing makes me happier than having all 4 of us under one roof joking, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. I’m so lucky.”

Conclusion

You may think that when you are in love with a person, everything becomes easy, even marriage, which is true somehow but not entirely. Relationship and marriage require a lot of work and efforts. I have read somewhere:

“Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; Companionship, intimacy, friendship etc.… The truth is, that marriage at the start is an empty box, you must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage, love is in people, and people put love in marriage.” ~ Unknown

If there are not some serious issues in your marriage like domestic abuse,infidelity, toxic behaviour etc. you can work it out with your partner. I have tried my best to share some useful information about “I regret getting married” HAVE A FREE CONSULTATION TODAY marriage is not easy that’s the truth but with work and determination the issues within a marriage can be resolved.

Further reading

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Author: Missdatedoctor

Miss Date Doctor is an online dating coach, psychologist and relationship coach platform offering modernised services on Video, phone or face to face sessions never seen in the UK dating industry before. The Leading Dating Coach London Website with professional dating consultants. One of the only dating advice websites in the UK offering bitcoin, cryptocurrency dating services.