What is confrontational meaning?
Being confrontational meaning is tending to deal with any kind of situation in a really aggressive way. A person may behave unfriendlily or angrily that will lead to an argument.
We do not like confrontational people and usually try to avoid them. Honestly, it is not easy to bear them when they are angry. Even if they are not angry, still their confrontational looks create a sense of fear. And we never want to have a conversation again with them. Most of us do not even want to confront others or just cannot do so. Sometimes, confrontation becomes necessary, and even though it is uncomfortable, we still have to deal with it.
This article is all about confrontational meaning, anxiety, how it affects our relationships and how one can deal with it. So let’s get started:
Here is the confrontational definition that will explain the term for you:
“If you describe the way that someone behaves as confrontational, you are showing your disapproval of the fact that they are aggressive and likely to cause an argument or dispute.”
Confrontational behaviour is not acceptable for anyone; still, some people are like this. But the person who is confrontational may not realize that he or she is making other people feel uncomfortable. Here are some signs associated with confrontational behaviour that might indicate that you are confrontational:
- Anger is a basic characteristic associated with a confrontational personality. It comes up with frustration and some other strong emotions. You may lash out at other people whenever they do something wrong.
- A confrontational person focuses on being combative rather than processing the information being given to them. Whenever someone tells you something you are were not expecting, you do not listen to the rest of the information or do not try to know the reason. You just react.
- When a person feels confrontational, obviously, the individual is angry, so the individual wants to dispute. The individual may also try to challenge others; this especially happens when someone criticizes them.
- When a person tries to explain something to you, instead of listening to them, you interrupt. You feel like if you have not shared your point at the time, you won’t be able to say anything after a while as the conversation will have passed in another direction.
- When you are having a conversation with someone, it brings many emotions, and you think that you will burst with anger. In that situation, it is good to avoid conversation and leave it or some other time.
- You might think you are being honest and sharing your views assertively but being confrontational and honest are two different things. When you are confrontational, you are aggressive, but when you are non-confrontational, you are calm.
- As mentioned above, you do not like being criticized and shows counter criticism, which is sometimes pointless and has no real base.
- Sometimes people don’t mean what you think they mean and you don’t understand; there might be a misunderstanding. But you do not take it that way; you take it personal and react immediately.
How do you respond when somehow you are involved in an argument? If you try to diffuse the situation or agree with someone point while you really do not like their opinion, it means you are a non-confrontational person. Being non-confrontational meaning is someone who cannot handle confrontations and agrees with the person no matter what the individual says; even though the mind is protesting hard against it.
Confrontational therapy is used for treating various issues in counselling. Professionals use it to get to the roots of problems. It is also helpful against people who have confrontational anxiety. In this case, a person is exposed to a similar situation so that they can face their fear and try to deal with it.
People who are non-confrontational suffer from confrontational anxiety. Confrontation anxiety is the root of stress in most cases. Relationship issues, workplace troubles, and personal problems can be resolved easily if people are confident enough to address their issues and concerns directly. Non-confrontational people will make excuses for their behaviour like “I do not want to make things complicated” or “I am peacemaker”. Whether it is a colleague who makes inappropriate jokes or a roommate who does not play any part in the cleaning but creates a mess, confrontational anxiety makes it impossible for the person to address the real issue. So the problem never gets solved, leading to constant stress.
Confrontation can be healthy, and it should not be scary. You may realize later that people do like your positive input when you try to give your opinion and express what you truly feel. If you have confrontation anxiety, here is how you can get over it or can work on it:
Identify your problems
If you do not believe that your current behaviour is not right, you cannot change it. To solve any problem, first, you must accept that there is a problem. Being in denial will not help at all. But when you feel afraid or nervous to speak up, it is easy for you to stay quiet and convince yourself that it is the best option.
Make a list of problems you face whenever you try to avoid confrontation. Maybe you feel stressed when you get back home after work, or your relationship with a very important person gets damaged every time you allow them to hurt your emotions.
Make a list of things you might get
You have made a list of problems you are facing because of not speaking up; on the back of the same paper, make a list of things you might get if you start speaking up. For instance, your relationships start improving, you may get happier, or your problems may reduce. Be sure about the things you are looking for.
Whenever you think about staying quiet about your problems, read both lists. Try to identify rational and logical reasons to confront a person. Even if you feel scared to do so, doing so will help you boost up your courage and confidence.
Forget false assumptions
Confrontation anxiety usually comes from false assumptions. For instance, thoughts like, “disagreeing with someone can ruin our relationship” or “confronting someone is not the right thing to do” will only increase the fear. Whether you are used to this because of your childhood experience or because of a tough boss in the past, recheck your assumptions.
Constructive confrontation is a healthy thing. You can convey your message or share your opinion in a very positive way. This can improve the whole situation even more than you imagined.
Deal with one problem at a time
If you only avoid confronting one person, let’s say your colleague, who is very challenging, start with little. Choose a minor issue at the correct time to address. Picking the biggest problem will not prove beneficial also, do not bring a list of things you do not like. Start with the smallest thing and see where it goes.
If you are not comfortable about confronting any person around you, start with someone who is safe to pick. For instance, who has a calm mind and nature, it would be better to start with a close friend or family member who will not lash out at you. Start with addressing something minor; this way, you will be able to increase your confidence in your ability to deal with situations assertively.
Sticking to the “I” statement is key to conversations. Instead of pointing someone out how wrong they are, try to explain how you feel about their action. For instance, instead of saying, “you are always late and very irresponsible”,, try saying, “I feel disrespected when you are not on time”.
There is no need to be worried about accusatory; express your thoughts and feelings. Try not to get angry and take deep breaths as it will help with anger. The other person may react aggressively, but you should remain calm; the goal is not to be aggressive but to be assertive.
Confrontation is not a science thing but an art. What you have done one time does not mean it will prove effective every time. If you keep on practising, you will learn how to recognize the right time to speak up and the best way to do so.
Your efforts are work in progress, so do not rush things; take small steps. Confrontational anxiety will fade away with time and continuous practice.
Why being confrontational ruins relationships?
We all need to work on our relationships to make them successful. No relationship is perfect; there will be conflicts, but that does not mean you have to go far with this. If you are having an argument, there is no need to be extremely confrontational or aggressive, as it can ruin your relationship.
Showing anger to your partner, being aggressively reactive for little things that can be ignored and criticize everything can prove annoying for your partner. All these things represent a toxic confrontation personality. So it will not be healthy for your relationship. If something your partner did upset, you try to have a constructive conversation.
How to deal with confrontational People?
Some of us have confrontation anxiety and cannot handle confrontation, but we all have a problem with someone who is cruelly confrontational. Such people might exist in our surroundings, such as at our workplaces, homes etc. They may seem aggressive and abusive. But you can wisely handle the situation if you choose an assertive approach; this way, you can earn their respect.
The main need for dealing with a confrontational person is to protect yourself. On the off chance that you don’t feel good in a particular situation, just leave. Look for help and backing if needed. Contact a mediator in case you need to. Think carefully whether you have to deal with this particular person or you have another option.
Not all confrontational people deserve to be dealt with. Your time, wellbeing and happiness are all that matters and nothing else. Except if there’s a really important thing in question, don’t exhaust yourself by attempting to wrestle with an individual who’s full of negativity. Regardless of whether you’re managing an irate driver, a pushy family member, or a domineering chief, keep a solid distance and avoid interaction except if you totally need to.
Sometimes you may feel like you’re “trapped” with an exceptionally troublesome individual, and there’s “no chance to get out.” In these circumstances, break new ground. Talk with close friends and family about various approaches, with your own prosperity as the main need. Sometimes there are solutions in front of our eyes, but we are unable to see them.
Do not be reactive but proactive.
Miguel Angel Ruiz says that:
“Don’t take anything personally…What others say and do is a projection of their own reality…When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
Being careful about the nature and behaviour of confrontational individuals can prove helpful in de-personalizing the whole situation, the circumstance and try to be proactive instead of reactive. One viable approach to de-personalize is to place yourself in the other individual’s shoes, in any event, for one minute. Certainly, sympathetic statements don’t compensate for forceful conduct. The fact is to advise yourself that most persistently confrontational individuals endure so much inside, and knowing about their struggles can help you handle them with greater separation and poise.
Get to know your basic rights.
The main idea to remember while dealing with a confrontational individual is to know your privileges and perceive when they’re being disregarded.
However long it takes and as long as you don’t hurt others, you reserve the right to support yourself and safeguard your privileges. Then again, in the event that you carry damage to other people, you may relinquish these rights.
Here are some of the best confrontation quotes for you:
- “There can be no progress without head-on confrontation.”― Christopher Hitchens.
- “Many victims of narcissistic abuse are hypersensitive. They don’t want to be told by others that they wrong when they fight with their narcissist. They see it as standing up for themselves when in reality, it is perpetuating what the narcissist wants- drama and a reaction.” ― Shannon L. Alder.
- “When you engage in an argument. Always remember that crazy people see themselves as normal. In their mind, there is nothing wrong with them or what they are doing. Only normal people see them being crazy.” ― De philosopher DJ Kyos.
- “We will probably have the nagging feeling that we are not doing things right. This is good because confronting our negative feelings and our fear of incompetence can help us begin analysis.” ― SherrylKleinman, Emotions and Fieldwork.
- “In most situations of confrontation, it’s best to just walk away or change the subject, respectively. Especially when you know that person is super stubborn and won’t budge. It honestly would be better discussing your lifestyle changes with a mule.” ― Harken Headers.
- “Why are we so afraid of confronting ourselves? Why do we always use the loud noises of the outside world to mute what our inner voice is trying to tell us?” ― Louis Yako.
- “Confrontation is not bad. Goodness is supposed to confront evil.” ― Fred Shuttlesworth.
- “Confrontation is what happens when you are less than honest, and you get caught.” ― Barbara Delinsky, Blueprints.
- “When two people are on the path of confrontation…an innocuous comment is taken as an accusation. And an innocent query is suspected as an accusation.” ― Girdhar Joshi
- “Issues or fears of confrontation tend to showcase unhealthy and unprofessional communication. If you are trusting someone to tell you all the good, bad and ugly, but they only give you the good out of their fears and confrontational issues… the bad and the ugly can grow worse and worse quickly.” ― Loren Weisman
- “Confrontation affords you the opportunity to hear the other side of the story.” ― Sunday Adelaja.
- “One of the advantages of confrontation is, you confront people to find out if your assumptions are right or wrong.” ― Sunday Adelaja.
Confrontation anxiety Reddit
Most of you look for your answers on Reddit. Many of you might be wondering about how to control confrontation anxiety Reddit. Well, you are in the right place. Here I am going to share what are confrontation anxiety Reddit views by users, how you can deal with it according to Reddit users. So let’s have a look at these:
“Confrontation anxiety (or any anxiety really) stems from a lack of self-worth in some shape or form. If there is anything else you can improve on regarding yourself that builds confidence, it will help. For this specific topic, first, start by determining your core values and boundaries. Ask yourself what things people do or say are not okay according to your values. Really get to know your values and boundaries and add to your list as you discover more. Believe in them and believe it’s alright to stand for them, but with an open mind so you can update them when applicable. Don’t go looking for confrontation needlessly, but don’t let yourself be messed around with either. You’re not trying to convert or overthrow or degrade someone else; you’re just standing up for yourself. Do no harm, but take no shit.”
“This really depends on the relationship between you and whoever you are confronting. It’s easier to confront someone when you know that that person will have an open mind and listen without lashing out at you. If this is someone you care about and trust, then confronting them with whatever issues you have will work out best for both parties. Don’t let whatever you have to fester and build into resentment because then no one wins. Often times, hard conversations are the ones that are needed the most.”
“I had this same issue about 10 years ago. The only way to beat the anxiety is to confront it and keep putting yourself in uncomfortable positions until you are no longer afraid.”
“I’m no expert, but in my experience, I have much less anxiety when I am in a good exercise routine. What works best for me is high-intensity cardio, I do spin classes, but I’m sure anything that gets your heart rate up would do the trick. I feel like it burns off that extra energy that your body uses to do weird things for seemingly no good reason. Also, I have to agree with exposure therapy. I worked in customer service, and my confidence in talking to random people outside of work went up too. Good luck!”
“I suffer from the same thing from time to time. It can be awful; you get shaky sometimes completely randomly. It’s just this really intense anxious uncontrollable feeling. My advice would be to step aside and take deep breaths, try to calm down. Take yourself out of the situation. If that doesn’t work, try hugging a pillow or something. It might sound silly, but It can help. If nothing at all works and it’s bad enough, get a doctor’s advice or a psychologist.”
“I learned different confrontation techniques, and it made me way more comfortable in confrontation. Like using questions (i.e. “how do you think I felt when you said that?) I think growing up, I saw the people around me being jerks during the confrontation, and it made me scared to confront and stand up for myself. Learning healthy, non-jerky confrontation techniques, coupled with being tired of being steamrolled by people, really helped me not be afraid of confrontation. I actually kind of enjoy it now because I’ve seen improvements in my relationships.”
Asking for what is right for you and sharing your opinion is not a bad thing. But if you get aggressive while asking for what you want is clearly wrong. You can have a nice conversation and get your way. Just like that, it is not right to be quiet when you do not agree with someone or someone being really annoying to you. You should speak up for yourself. If you are extremely confrontational or have confrontation anxiety, it would be better to take help from professionals. Confrontation therapy can also help you. Follow the tips I have mentioned above and keep on practising as it will help to build your confidence.