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Emotional investment

Emotional investment

emotional investment

We do not give relationships enough credit regarding being complicated, and in case sometimes you feel like you love your partner more than they do you, that is totally fine. Two people cannot fall in love with each other with perfect equality, and that is okay. Sometimes one person is a little more invested emotionally as compared to others, especially during early dating days. Emotional investment is necessary for a relationship, even if it might not be equal from both sides.

This article is all about emotional investment, how it can affect your relationships, and how to effectively control it. So, let’s get started:

Emotional investment meaning

emotional investment meaning

Emotional investment meaning is to invest yourself emotionally in something in the hope that it will help you in growing.

Emotional investment definition

emotional investment definition

Here is the emotional investment definition for you so that you can have a clear idea:

“Emotional investment is when we focus our emotions—in the form of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors—into anything that we hope over time will help us grow and sustain our emotional well-being.”

Emotional investment examples

emotional investment examples

Here are some emotional investment examples in the sentences:

  • Yet, in this context, at least, the question of knowledge and that of emotional investment are evidently closely related.
  • Attitudes to housing are also likely to have changed, with housing, it seems, seen increasingly as a financial rather than emotional investment.
  • A gestation of 15 years of continued interest and agonising over the whereabouts of the missing seamen ensured an emotional investment in the expedition.
  • Emotional investment assesses the extent to which the person treats others as ends rather than means and sees events in terms other than need gratification.
  • Of great importance for acquisition in either mode appears to be the emotional investment in the discussed topics.
  • Emotional investment in other people or the environment is substantially reduced as the individual becomes preoccupied with the self and with thoughts of the past.
  • From the moment I committed to the marriage I was emotionally invested.
  • Likewise, children’s attempts to regulate the destructive forms of interparental conflict in violent homes may necessitate intervention strategies that require substantially greater emotional investment and psychological forethought.

Emotional investment psychology

emotional investment psychology

Emotional investment psychology feels like autopilot, the most non-brainer investment as it comes from the heart. If you are not aware of right and wrong and get your emotions involved too much, you might get what you want, but that is not good enough for you. Financial investments have disclosures, but in the case of emotional investment, there is never true disclosure until the cost has been incurred already.

Our childhood traumas, belief systems, fears, triggers, and insecurities play a greater role in emotional investment, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, family relationships, or work life. You might invest yourself emotionally too much or might not be emotionally available at all. In any case, there should be balance. Getting too much emotionally invested can urge certain people to take advantage of you. On the other hand, if you are not at all available emotionally, your relationships, especially romantic will be affected negatively.

Emotional investment relationship

emotional investment relationship

Emotions play a great role in our life. Any relationship is incomplete without emotional investment. There should be efforts from both sides to be emotionally available in order to strengthen a relationship. But sometimes, this does not happen. One partner is emotionally invested too much, and the other one is not at all, leading to problems in a relationship. At that point, both partners need to connect and try to resolve the problem. But how can someone identify an imbalance in emotional investment in a relationship? Well, there are certain signs that you can look for. Let me share some signs of emotional investment relationship by one partner and when the other one is emotionally detached:

You are the one who initiates sex always.

Couples have different love languages, and when it comes to initiate sex, they use hints, or some just ask. In some cases, one partner always asks or hints at the other, and if both are cool with this tactic, there is nothing wrong. There is no imbalance here. But in case of an intense pattern, you are the only one who is looking for sex, and the worst is you are always getting turned down. It is an indication that you are more invested in your relationship as compared to your partner. Physical touch or cuddling should come easily among partners, and it should never feel like a burden.

You always apologize

Not all of us are good at sharing their thoughts or addressing problems in a relationship healthy way. But those who are emotionally invested in a relationship find some way to do so as they want a future with their partner. They also try to fix issues in a relationship. So, if you are such a person who always apologizes and tries to fix every problem while your partner does not participate at all, it can be an indication that you are much more emotionally invested in your relationship than your partner.

You plan according to their schedule.

Relationships are about to give and take. Sometimes you have to compromise, and sometimes your partner does so. But when you are more emotionally invested, you happily drop everything to be with your partner. But when it comes to them, they would not be willing to change your day for you. According to a couple’s therapist based in Chicago, Theresa Herring, LMFT:

“Healthy relationships are like Venn diagrams — each of you have your own lives in addition to shared couple time. The strongest relationships are when two complete, independent people decide to share their life journeys.”

Partners should take into account each other’s schedules while planning anything, but if your partner does not, it means you are a little more invested in your relationship in comparison to your partner.

How to balance emotional investment in a relationship?

Being in a healthy relationship is not always easy. It needs a lot of work and balance in emotional investment. Lack of balance can ruin your relationship totally. From the above signs, you have identified that there is a lack of balance. Now the main thing is to create that balance. How is it possible? It is only possible when both partners are willing to work for each other and never give up. So here are some tips for creating an emotional investment relationship  balance for both partners, which will eventually create a sense of balance. So, let’s get started:

Both mind and heart play a significant role.

Heart and Head both play a significant part in a relationship. The heart comprises your emotions, while your mind comprises your thoughts. In case you are feeling glad, share it, and the equivalent goes when you are feeling miserable, furious, and aggravated or whatever you feel. Simply share your feelings with your partner.

You know that there is an imbalance of emotional investment in your relationship; maybe your partner is not aware of that. So, gather your thoughts and emotions and talk to your partner. Let him know how you feel, what makes you upset or happy.

Be respectful and trust your loving bond.

The indispensables of emotional investment in a relationship are trust and respect. Both must be earned, and both these things are equally important for both partners. “Trust,” despite the fact that it is a little word, but in terms of its significance in the relationship, it is a big word. Trust is not always alone; it generally comprises those little parts of liability, care, and obligation. It is the main proportion of any relationship. If you trust your partner with your life, you trust your existence with your partner.

Keep in mind; trust consistently develops with time. Hence, you and your partner should try to improve your faith for building emotional intimacy.  Additionally, trust grows only if both of you are willing to work on it. You both need that shoulder to cry when the circumstances are difficult and a smile to share when you are cheerful.COUPLES THERAPY GET SUPPORT NOW CLICK HERE

Share secrets

What does “sharing secrets” have to do with emotional investment? You may have known about the expression “secret keeper.” That’s what you should anticipate from a relationship in the event that you share your secret. They need to keep it safe. This additionally shows how much you trust your partner. Assuming you trust them with your secrets, your bond is very amazing.

This will help strengthen your relationship with your partner, and he  or she will know the most about you. They will feel special and, thus, he/she will invest emotionally in the relationship.

Acceptance is necessary

Nobody is great; everybody has a few defects. The point is some people have apparent defects, and some have flaws that are not prominent. Judging an individual by what they look like is the greatest flaw an individual can have. When you see someone, colour, height, size, religion, and knowledge don’t make any difference; what is important is if you are willing to accept them with all these defects.

Nobody needs to change themselves to be loved by somebody. That individual doesn’t deserve you if you cannot behave naturally around them. You both need to accept each other unconditionally to create a sense of security in the relationship. Lowering your guard in front of someone is not easy at all, but it makes other people feel loved and valued, thus can have a good impact on your relationship.

Appreciate little things

Grand gestures are no doubt amazing. Everybody anticipates that their partner should accomplish something important and brilliant for them. However, make sure to be content even with little things. Try not to expect your partner to do something big on every Valentine’s Day. Be happy even if they order your favourite food. To spark the romance, wear matching PJs and enjoy pizza with your favourite movie. You can also try cooking food together at home. It also improves intimacy.

Be supportive

Happiness and sadness are a part of life. Being supportive implies both happy times and hard times. Simply understand that we all want a special person in our life. Be that ‘somebody especial’ for your partner.

Seek professional help

Sometimes nothing helps. No matter what you do, your relationship does not improve. It is because you are not neutral. At that point, it is best to consider third party opinion. A relationship counsellor can help you figure out issues in your relationship. He or she will also suggest to you some practices to make your relationship better if there is hope. COUPLES THERAPY BOOK NOW

Move on

You deserve all the happiness in the world. Being an emotionally sensitive person is not easy too. You give too much. If you feel like you are giving and giving, but your emotions are not reciprocated, it is a problem. Communicating with your partner about this issue is necessary, but if nothing helps and your partner’s behaviour does not change, it means this relationship is not right for you. You need to end it here and find someone who values you.

Emotional investment friendships

Friendships are very important in our life. Not all of us have good family support or have a partner by our side at that point; a friend is someone who can support us and lift us. But sometimes, you get too much invested emotionally in your friendships. In my opinion, you can do whatever in your power to help your friend without expecting anything from them. Because you know when you need them, they will be there for you. Even if they cannot do anything practically for you, they will provide moral support.

But you need to figure out who is your real friend. If someone is using you for their own benefit and just vanishes when you ask for their help or want emotional support, it means he or she is not your real friend. Emotional investment friendships are hurtful but help you learn a lot.

Emotional investment in social media

emotional investment in social media

Emotional investment in social media is very common these days. You spend most of your time using these social media apps, always interacting with others. Social media controls you with ads, and some control you via manipulation. As a result, these influencers get your sympathy; brands get the benefit when you buy their products out of emotional attachment. You can control this by controlling the time that you spend on social media. It will not be easy as you have access to these platforms 24/7, but if you try some other useful hobbies like reading books, cooking, baking etc., to spend your time more productively.

Emotional investment quotes

emotional investment quotes

Here are some of the best emotional investment quotes that you will find relatable:

  • “Often their rage erupts because they believe that all ways of looking that highlight difference subvert the liberal belief in a universal subjectivity (we are all just people) that they think will make racism disappear. They have a deep emotional investment in the myth of sameness even as their actions reflect the primacy of whiteness as a sign informing who they are and how they think.” Author: Bell Hooks
  • “Beginning in infancy (or even before) each of us, in response to perceived threats to our well-being, develops a false self: a set of protective behaviors driven at root by a sense of need and lack. The essence of the false self is driven, addictive energy, consisting of tremendous emotional investment in compensatory “emotional programs for happiness,” as Keating calls them.” Author: Cynthia Bourgeault
  • “The amount of work and the amount of both physical and emotional investment it takes to get to the top.” Author: Drew Bledsoe
  • “Of course it was painful, and there were times when, emotionally, I just wanted to chuck it all. But pain seems to be a precondition for this kind of sport. If pain weren’t involved, who in the world would ever go to the trouble of taking part in sports like the triathlon or the marathon, which demand such an investment of time and energy? It’s precisely because of the pain, precisely because we want to overcome that pain, that we can get the feeling, through this process, of really being alive–or at least a partial sense of it. Your quality of experience is based not on standards such as time or ranking, but on finally awakening to an awareness of the fluidity within action itself.” Author: Haruki Murakami
  • “Of course, giving is deeply emotional. But supplementing emotion with research makes it more likely that a gift can have a bigger impact. It’s like any investment. After all, you wouldn’t put funds into stocks or bonds without understanding the potential return. Why wouldn’t you do the same when investing in society?” Author: Laura Arrillaga Andreessen
  • “This is an emotional request to the for-profit startups I help to build, strategize, and monetize. I do it for free because I care for you and your vision. I don’t take an equity or a salary despite knowing that you and your investors will make money, and loads of it, eventually. I help because I care. Please remember, to pay back. Not to me, but to the world. Preferably, donate to a non-profit which will never receive the investments that you can and you are; donate to children and youth who want to do good things, to families that need you, to social startups that sweat day in and day out to bring smiles, and to anyone who cares for PEOPLE more than PROFITS. My salary will be drawn. I will be paid back in full. Thank you!” Author: Sharad Vivek Sagar
  • “The skill of becoming and remaining attuned to another’s emotional rhythms requires a solid investment of years. (205)” Author: Thomas Lewis
  • “Depend upon it; there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.” “But the Solar System!” I protested.” Author: Arthur Conan Doyle
  • “And if Annie’s work is fueled by love, then it’s a form of love that doesn’t blunt or distort her gaze. Her love sharpens her sight. Her work has helped me trust that an enduring emotional investment – even in all its mess and mistakes, because of its mess and mistakes – can help you see more acutely. It can sensitize your gaze to the competing vectors of emotional churning beneath ordinary moments.” ― Leslie Jamison, Make It Scream, Make It Burn.
  • “There is more strength, in admitting vulnerability than in faking invincibility.” – Author: Rick Julian.
  • “My emotional investment started when I read the first scene of the actual drama [45 Years]. I can’t explain it, there’s no logic to it, but the notion of one’s youth that somehow comes back but is gone, a man of my age connecting to that timing of life.” – Author: Tom Courtenay.
  • “Ambition is an expensive impulse, one that requires an enormous investment of emotional capital. Like any investment, it can pay off in countless different kinds of coin.” – Author: Jeffrey Kluger.
  • “As we have all said, we understand that electronic surveillance is a vital tool in the war on terror. We all want to know when Osama bin Laden is calling: when he is calling, who he is calling, and what he is saying.” – Author: Chris Van Hollen.
  • “If you invent something, you’re doing a creative act. It’s like writing a novel or composing music. You put your heart and soul into it, and money. It’s years of your life, it’s your house remortgaged, huge emotional investment and financial investment.” – Author: James Dyson.
  • “If you are honest, hardworking, reasonably intelligent and have good common sense, you can do well in the investment field as long as you are not too greedy and don’t get too emotional when things go against you.” – Author: Walter Schloss.
  • “We lacked something that is the key to a successful startup, and it was bigger than sound quality. It was emotional investment. If you don’t love what you’re building, if you’re not an avid user yourself, then you will most likely fail even if you’re doing everything else right.” – Author: Biz Stone.
  • “You have to accept the fact that not all your decisions are going to be right – and when they are wrong, you have to own it right away. I try not to have an emotional connection or investment in the decisions I make so that when they need to change, I can quickly move on to: ‘How do we fix this?’” – Author: Lynn Jurich

Conclusion

Emotions are very powerful; they can affect our decisions positively and negatively. When it comes to emotional investment, you have to be very careful, especially in the case of a relationship. It is good to invest yourself in a relationship emotionally, but it is useless when the other person does not reciprocate your efforts. When you feel imbalance talk about it with your partner or seek help from a professional. When nothing works, it means your relationship is at a dead-end, and you should move on.

So, this was all about emotional investment; I have tried my best to share useful information with you hope you will find it helpful in bringing you clarity and good judgement.

Further reading

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