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When you have been dating a guy for a while and things seem to be going well, you start to wonder what is he thinking? I wonder if he is thinking about marriage. Maybe we could move in together for now. I wonder if he wants that. I want kids soon. Does he want that? I just can’t wait to have a family.

These are some of the questions that go round and round in a woman’s mind. One day, you decide to ask him. After all, you don’t want to waste your time. He responds saying he is not ready now but we will get married. Just not now babes.

Where does this leave you? I mean how long are you expected to wait? Till eternity? How do you know he won’t change his mind? What if he is lying? Oh! No! You feel confused. Don’t worry. Many women are in this position and it can be tricky because you don’t want to waste your time. The truth is for one second, put yourself in your man’s shoes… Ok! Now, this is what he is likely to be thinking:

  •  can I rely on this girl?
  •  If I marry her, will she change?
  •  I want to be financially strong before settling down and if I eventually am, can I trust her?
  •  Is she the right girl for me?
  •  I don’t want to be rushed; and
  •  I need time to think.

When you want something from a man, always remember his needs, feelings, and are you doing the right thing to make him feel secure and comfortable in the relationship? The thing about settling down is it takes two. It is not just about WHAT YOU WANT. It is about WHAT HE WANTS as well. There will be times unfortunately when a guy you are dating tells you he does not want to settle down and does not want to get married. He may also tell you he does not want to progress further with you. If this happens, don’t worry. There are OTHER MEN.

WHO WILL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN WITH YOU? It is never a good thing to rush a man as a teenager. I learnt that guys chase girls. Once you chase a guy things may go WRONG. Never put pressure on a man. Depending on your age, religious beliefs and orientation, lifestyle, upbringing etc. you may feel like you want to settle down as soon as possible because you feel there is no time to waste.(…….). You must relax and stop. It is not a race. It not just down to only you. You must be patient, confident, and understand that life does not always go as planned. But when the right man comes, YOU WILL KNOW.

Some men will tell you they will settle down with you but later change their mind. Some have no intention of settling down with you but will deceive you they do with only for their selfish gain of keeping you there. Be very careful and be aware that some guys lack integrity and will merely waste your time. Below are some points you may wish to consider if you decide to wait for a guy:

  • how long are you willing to wait?
  • forget what he says and watch his actions. Do his actions show he is serious and committed to a future with you?
  • is he worth the wait and risk if he changes his mind?
  • is he the right guy or do you just want to settle down?
  •  Do you know him well enough?

Whatever you do in the end, make sure you do it for the right reasons and not because your friends are settling down or because you feel pressured or “TIME IS NOT ON MY SIDE”. Always remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea. It sounds so cliché but it’s the truth! Too many girls hang on to irresponsible guys because of lack of confidence or the doubt that they will not meet someone else. Don’t settle for rubbish and do not rush or force a man into settling down with you. Even if you get him to do it, you are very likely not to enjoy it because you forced him. Lol… Yes, you know it.

You will meet a man who loves you, makes you smile make you laugh and will want to commit to you. NEVER EVER DOUBT IT!!

Good luck.
Miss Date Doctor.

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