It is not easy to find the man that you are looking for. All relationships have issues and problems of their own to deal with one of their own to deal with one of those problems can be when he has issues with the mother of his child and it’s affecting you. The truth is a man’s children are a permanent fixture in his life. So if you have chose to be with him you must address this issue with respect and patience. The fact is some people do not choose to date people with children based on their own comfortability levels but when you love someone if they have children this is part of your partner and you must be prepared to take this on board.
Now let’s address the issue you believe his ex (mother of his children still likes him). The thing that is tricky about this situation is that communication is key when two parents are trying to raise a child. So maturity and understanding need to come in that there will be regular phone calls and visits to the mother of his kids. It is important that if you date a man with children you understand this. It is important also that the man you are dating is someone you trust because someone interacting with their ex regularly will make the average person extremely uncomfortable. Here are a few things you should consider in your situation:
(i) Do you trust your partner?
(ii) Has your partner made it clear to the mother of his child that it is over?
(iii) Is she truly interested in him or are your own fears and insecurity making you paranoid?
(iv) Are you comfortable dating a man with a child/children?
(v) Are your personal boundaries and limits being respected in regards to how close he is to the mother of his children? And
(vi) Have you told him how you feel about the situation?
Every situation is different but if you feel that the mother of his children is disrespecting you or your relationship then you must speak to your partner about it and ask yourself if things do not improve, what will you do? The fact is you are now his girlfriend/wife so your needs and his children’s needs must be considered at all times.
P.S. Always remember how hard it is as a fellow woman to have a child/children with a man and break up. Try to be fair and remember that there are two sides to every story.
Miss Date Doctor. xxx