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In life, we are all different and we come different backgrounds and upbringings and our personalities are different. That being said, we all view situations differently and some of us are more judgmental than others and some of us have more negative pasts than others but in the end, we are all humans. In this life, there are many things that happen that are beyond our control and when you first start dating someone, you don’t start telling them your whole life story or your personal problems and SECRETS. It can be difficult when you are hiding something and in a serious relationship with someone you love and care about because you think what will he say? Will he still want to be with me? Will it break the trust?

This topic is a very sensitive one and as I write this, I feel there are so many different kinds of secrets a person can have and some are more serious and detrimental than others and it is every individual’s choice what they decide to disclose to their partner. When you care or love someone, the last thing you want is to lose them but sometimes, keeping a secret can be as much stress as the secret itself. I have seen a lot of situations happen over the years with various people around me and what I gathered and learned from being a teenager to the young woman I am now is LIES DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS. It can put so much strain and make life difficult for you. It is better, to tell the truth, we conclude but then guess what? You tell the truth and it is used against you then people use the information against people to put them down and belittle them or sometimes they are just disappointed. So what do you do? Here are things to consider before telling your man a SECRET:

(i) How long have you been dating? Is it long enough that you know him well?

(ii) Is your SECRET highly likely to come out anyway? (It would be bad if your partner hears it from someone else.)

(iii) Is your secret something from the past that has no relevance to your life today?

(iv) Are you willing to take the chance of telling your man even though he may react negatively?

The Positives of Being Honest.

  • You create trust between you and your man.
  • You will no longer feel guilty.
  • If anyone else knows the secret, it cannot be used against you.
  • You have nothing to hide in your relationship.

Whatever you decide to do, remember that love is acceptance and acceptance is love and when you are with someone, they should be there for you through the good and bad. Here are some of the things I have seen women lie to their boyfriends about over the years:

(a) Who they have dated or slept with;

(b) Jobs;

(c)  Background;

(d) Children;

(e)  Pregnancy;

(f)   Family;

(g) Previous relationships,

(h) Bad past.

There is no secret or problem that is on this list that millions of other people have not been through. So always remember that and don’t feel you are the only one and feel depressed or isolated. There are so many other problems people deal with other than the ones on this list. Do not lose hope and remember, things happen in life and try to be strong and always remember, there is help available.


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