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Emotional cheating texting

Emotional cheating texting

Life Coaching

Emotional cheating texting can ruin a relationship. If we look around  a significant amount of couples, it feels like cheating is flourishing. Unfortunately, stats also show this scenario. According to a survey, about 13% of women and 20% of men report cheating on their partner. May be you have also been with a cheating partner. If you have been through this, you can understand how painful emotional infidelity is and the terrible emotional trauma it leaves behind.

This article is all about emotional cheating texting, why people do this, some examples, how you address emotionally cheating, and how you can deal with it. So, let’s get started:

Emotional cheating through texting

These days it seems like we are glued to our phones. Social media has made connecting with people from all around the world so easy. If one partner is involved in texting with a close friend or colleague, it is not as such a red flag in a relationship neither does it indicate that your partner is involved in emotional cheating through texting but how to know where friendship ends, and an affair starts. Let’s explore this connection a little more.

Emotional cheating texting examples

Emotional cheating texting can make your relationship complicated, whether it is casual or serious. If you are wondering what are some common emotional cheating texting examples let me share some with you:

  • One common example is when you and your partner are on a romantic dinner, but your partner seems to be more interested in their phone. And when you ask, your partner says they are just talking to a friend.
  • A friend of mine shared her experience. She said that it was not easy for her to handle when she heard about the promotion of her husband. She was using his phone to call a friend, and a message popped up like this, “I am really excited about your promotion, we should celebrate it”. It was from a friend from the gym.

In the first example, one partner shows no interest in the person with whom he is having dinner but busy on the phone; this makes the situation terrible. We all are possessive about these moments, and we want complete attention.

While in the next case, two partners are maybe in a stable relationship, but one of them is sharing his news with someone who is not his partner. This was the kind of thing he should celebrate primarily with his wife, but he did not. Rather he shared it with his gym friend over text first. These two are clear emotional cheating texting examples.

What does it mean to emotionally cheat on someone?

If you are wondering “What does it mean to emotionally cheat on someone?let me explain it for you. Emotional cheating means when a person does not spend his emotional energy within his marriage or relationship and spends it outside, he also receives companionship and emotional support from this new connection.

What does it mean to emotionally cheat on someone? In simple words, it is like having an emotional affair where one person feels a strong emotional connection with someone else other than their partner and may experience chemistry or sexual tension. They talk to each other over texts and share their feelings, fears and thoughts.

In this case, cheaters usually do not feel guilty as there is no sex involved, but their partners do not feel this way. They think of this emotional affair to be as damaging as a sexual affair. The hurt and pain from an emotional affair is because of lies, deception and the feeling of being betrayed.

Stages of emotional affairs

Research on the subject of affairs, whether physical or emotional predicts a clear and linear pattern of how an affair develops over time. The research concludes their are about four different stages of emotional cheating:

Stage One

The first stage is all about starting a friendship and bringing up emotional closeness. At this stage, you meet somebody that you feel good talking  to and imparting to outside of your relationship a close connection. You feel some sort of chemistry. It feels blameless and appears to be a good friendship. No unfairness is planned generally at this stage. Simply looking for solace in conversing with someone else and being able to share. It can occur at work, the gym, on the internet or simply anywhere.

Stage Two

It is when you start defending your new relationship. It is one of the most important stages of emotional cheating. At this stage, you begin feeling reliant on your new relationship. You start to encounter uneasiness about what it would resemble if your partner or your loved ones disapproved of this friendship. You, in this manner, choose to stay quiet about it. You comfort yourself that you are not doing anything incorrectly and that you are simply not prepared to manage the questions of your partner or your loved ones. As it were, staying quiet about it makes it significantly all the more intriguing and exciting, and it makes you need to secure this relationship considerably more.

Stage Three

In this stage, you begin to incorporate this new friend in your life. You spend time together now and then; you work out together 3 days every week, you discover approaches to fraternize. It resembles the start of dating somebody. However, you disclose to yourself you are going out as friends and there is no harm.

Stage Four

If this does not stop, it moves towards physical intimacy. At this stage, you feel extremely connected with the person. The bond you have made with them now seems stronger and unbreakable. And you are going to start a physical relationship with the person. If all these issues are not solved and this connection is not ended, and the situation is not handled properly, this leads to the complete breakdown of the initial relationship. This is now a full blown affair.

Emotional cheating signs

Emotional cheating is unacceptable. You may think that you do not need to feel bad about it as you are just having a nice conversation over texts with a person you like. But that is not reality. Deep down, you know yourself that something is wrong. Here are some emotional cheating signs that indicate you are being disloyal to your partner:

You lie about your closeness to another person.

You try to hide things as you really are not sure about it.  At the point when you need to lie about the profundity of the relationship with that individual to your partner, you’re engaging in emotional cheating. The need to lie comes since you don’t want anyone to know about it or do not want to make your partner think about the strength of the connection you have with that individual. The second you’re trying to hide things from your partner, you’re engaging in betrayal.

It is easy to share frustration about your current partner.

Your intimate conversations and frustrations should be between you and your partner; these things are personal. You never feel comfortable sharing these things to any third individual, not even your friends. But in case the case of emotional cheating, you will not do this; you will easily open up about these issues with that particular person. You feel free and genuine to share all your private matters and disappointment to the individual over messages or calls.

You smile when you see their text.

Besides sharing your personal information and relationship problems with them, a smile comes on your face whenever you receive their text. You are now comfortable sharing messages with them and feel happy whenever you can talk to them over texts. In an ideal world, this connection is between you and your partner but not with another person. This is an early indication of emotional cheating against your partner.

You overshare details with that person instead of your partner.

It’s undeniable in a relationship to share each moment and detail of your day and emotions with your partner. Nonetheless, there is a chance that if you begin offering these details to another person over messaging rather than with your partner, you’re engaging in emotional cheating texting.

It may be hard for you to distinguish this, however, take a moment and notice; would you say you are being faithful to your partner? In the case your answer is no, at that point you should find a solution and work accordingly.

Sharing inappropriate messages

It is one of the clear emotional cheating signs. Carefully analyze your messages and check whether your partner will be comfortable with the trade of such messages. When we are involved in a conversation, we disregard what’s good and bad, and we just care about what we believe is correct. At whatever point you’re doing as such, ensure you analyze your conversation from a third individual’s viewpoint and check whether they’re appropriate. If you discover them to be inappropriate, stop this conversation right away.

You try to read messages secretly around your partner.

You don’t sneak around to check a message from your family, friends and colleagues. If you’re hiding from your partner to read that person’s message, it means you subconsciously believe whatever you are doing is not right. So you do not want to get caught. The second this begins, be alert. Try not to take this too far as you will be stuck in an deceitful situation.

Investing more energy with the other individual than your partner

You love spending your time with the individual you love. In a relationship, this person is usually your partner. But in the case of emotional cheating, texting is not your partner but the other person. You try to spare time to spend with that person but not with your partner. You stay awake late night to text them and wait for their reply. If you are noticing these things in your life, it means you are engaged in emotional cheating.

You delete their calls and texts.

We hide things only when we feel like we are doing something wrong. In the instance you’re deleting texts from that other individual so that you’re not found messaging somebody, it means you’re cheating. It’s an absolute necessity that you stop this imminently without a moment’s delay before your partner discovers this. If it is possible, try to talk about it with your partner. It is never too late to confess your mistake and ask for forgiveness. There is always a chance your partner may find out.

You do not give your partner much importance.

For couples, nothing is unquestionably more significant than to spend quality time with one another. Nonetheless, when you are involved in emotional cheating, you may start giving more importance to that other person instead of your partner. You may try to cancel your plans with your partner or try to reschedule these plans so that you can spend more time with that other person and have more time to indulge in emotional cheating texting.

You feel like they understand you more than your partner.

In emotional cheating, there comes a time when you feel like they understand you more than your partner. It is happening because you share your thoughts and emotions with them more than your partner. These false belief leads to separation sometimes and destroys what you have with your partner. So it would be better to accept your mistake and end this whole emotional cheating thing.

How emotional affairs start

How do emotional affairs start? Well According to Lynn Saladino, a clinical psychologist:

“In the tasks of daily life, our emotional needs often get pushed to the side. We stop seeing our partner as an emotional being and more as a person who helps us complete tasks and meet obligations. When this happens, it can be very tempting to seek support elsewhere.”

Emotional affairs usually start when you become closer to someone else. You start asking them about the most important decisions in your life. You start holding their opinion higher as compared to others. Usually, it is a coworker. Surveys and research shows that about 60% emotional affairs begin at work.

In addition to this, our life style also plays an important role. We are always connected with people over social media and texting. We are socializing even when we are at home. Moreover, we have work friends, and gym friends with whom we are connected with all the time. Some of these people are really interesting, and some are attractive, a harmless friendship you started with any of these people can quickly turn into an emotional cheating affair. Initially, it seems harmless, but as time passes, it becomes serious, and you realize it when it is too late emotional attachments are difficult to break.

Why men have emotional affairs?

Men have emotional affairs when they are not connected with their partner at an emotional level. It can be lust if a partner is unfaithful. But the main thing is long-term relationships where there is no spark, and it is more like a mundane routine. I know it hurts when you find out that your partner is involved in emotional cheating texting but keep in mind it is not too late to talk about it. You can make this work if it is the early stages of emotional cheating texting. If your partner is unfaithful, it might be time to leave this relationship and move on with your life.

Can emotional cheating be forgiven?

Forgiving any kind of cheating is painful, whether emotional or physical. It is totally up to you how you address emotionally cheating and how your partner behaves when you find out. If he/she accepts his mistake, apologises to you and wants to make it right, I think he is worthy of a chance. But if he/she is being stubborn and starts blaming you for everything, you need to analyze your relationship and decide accordingly if this situation is right for you.

Emotional cheating vs friendship

One good thing that you can say about a forbidden sexual relationship is that it is easy to spot and very clear such a line should not be crossed, but that is not the case with emotional cheating texting. There is a fine line between an innocent, sweet friendship and an emotional affair.

Emotional cheating vs friendship, the main question is this: is this the new friend  or an old friend of one partner and is there any attraction? It can be a tactical manipulative move, in different ways like a potential cheater may be trying to spend more time with that person as compared to their partner or maybe is talking about intimate topics with this person.

Emotional cheating vs friendship, change in your partners behavioural patterns is everything you need to look for. Friendship has crossed the line when it is deeper or better than than the connection in the marriage or relationship, especially if everything is about this friend.

What to do when your partner is emotionally cheating

If you feel distress, you have every right. Emotional cheating is hurtful. But there are still some ways to heal from infidelity in marriage or a relationship. if you are wondering“what to do when your partner is emotionally cheating?” Let me share some ways that can help you with that:

Tell your partner how you feel.

If you have feelings of anger in your heart, you can’t trust your partner again. You need to acknowledge these emotions and let these feelings out. It is not easy, but you can do this if you want to save your marriage or relationship. For this, you need to talk to your partner and let him/her know how  you feel, tell your partner how their actions have caused you pain. The individual may avoid having this discussion with you or may avoid being honest too. You should talk about your disappointments, doubts, feelings of sadness and anger, everything you have in your mind. Do not try to hold your feelings back or pretend that you are okay with everything. This will only increase the distance between you two and lead to resentment and hate towards your partner.

Try to ask questions you have in your mind.

Now you know that your partner has cheated on you emotionally, your partner knows that this situation is exposed. So now there is nothing to hide, your partner should be honest with you about the reasons behind this unfaithfulness. The broken trust can be regained only if the cheating partner is completely honest. Although there is no need to know every detail of the affair still you might have some questions in your mind, ask your partner these questions. If your partner still tries to hide things from you, it will not be easy to regain trust.

Ask them not to talk to that person.

First thing you need to do to start the healing process is to ask your partner to cut off every kind of contact with another person. It would be impossible to function your marriage or relationship if you think your partner is still in touch with that person. To end an affair requires putting an end to text messages, emails, coffee breaks, and any other kind of communication that may make the bond even stronger between your partner and the other person. It is imperative all communication stops.

Try to avoid resentment.

It may seem the most difficult task, but it is necessary to avoid resentments if you want to move on. Your marriage will only succeed if you try hard to fight for it. Although it may seem overwhelming, but it is more doable than you think. Almost every other person thinks that cheating will automatically lead to divorce, but most people will try their best to reconcile. If you have many resentments in your heart, it won’t be possible to see good in your partner. If your partner has apologized to you and is trying to change their behaviour, you need to focus on this current attitude, instead of thinking about past mistakes. This way, it will be a little bit easier to heal your marriage.

Talk to an expert and go for couples therapy.

What to do when your partner is emotionally cheating? Couples therapy is the best option. Stats show that about 75% of couples are satisfied with couple’s therapy. Which means it is really helpful. You may wonder about the remaining 25%? The remaining 25% include those in abusive relationships, and they should not expect improvement until this abusive behaviour is eliminated. So they should go for individual therapy before going for couples counselling.


Emotional cheating texting is no doubt hurtful, but that does not mean your marriage has to end. Following the above tips, you can still save it. In this article, I have tried my best to share some useful information about Emotional cheating, texting BOOK COUPLES THERAPY NOW.

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