Narcissist discard and silent treatment
Narcissist discard and silent treatment feel emotionally exhausting. It also makes you feel that you are worthless, and you will feel like you are losing your mind slowly. So what to do when you have been a victim of narcissist discard and silent treatment? Most experts will suggest you follow the no contact rule. But we are not living in an ideal world sometimes there is no choice because the individual is unavoidable, but when you have to deal with a narcissist what will you do then?
In this article, I will talk about narcissist discard and silent treatment, why do they behave this way, what are some signs and how you can handle this horrible situation. So let’s dig a little deeper:
Discarding means throwing something away that is not useful anymore. A narcissist will objectify people. It means they see people as objects that are needed to be discarded when they are of no use anymore. You are not a sovereign being to them. For them, you are just an interchangeable object that can serve their needs. They will groom you the way they want, use you and will then discard you. They are cruel at discarding someone. This is what we call narcissist discard. It is a very painful experience and can lead to depression and lingering emotional trauma.
Covert narcissist discard
The Covert narcissist seems to be so self-centred and self-focused that they have no connection with reality. It seems like they do not care about others and try to manipulate them for what they want. One thing about covert narcissism is that it shows fewer signs of classic narcissistic personality disorder. They may show characteristics that are usually not associated with narcissism, like shyness, sensitivity to others’ thinking, and humility. There true devious character is hidden.
Covert narcissist discard is just like a regular narcissistic discard, but the point is you cannot recognize the pattern. Covert narcissist are hard to spot; they are not expressive, so you can’t identify them easily. Covert narcissistic discard is just like that, but try to read the signs I know it is not going to be easy for you but if you want the best for yourself you need to try at least. They can trick you into feeling everything is fine and then suddenly dump you out of nowhere. I will share some signs about how you can identify a narcissist discard pattern in the next section.
Narcissist discard stage
You are familiar with what it means now by the term narcissistic discard, but is it a stage that has to come? Is narcissistic discard stage the destination of every relationship with a narcissist? Well if you ask me it is true these people never have good intentions. Every relationship with a narcissist ends with a narcissistic discard stage where he feels that the person is not fun anymore or can’t fulfil his needs, so the gets rid and dumps you. Unless the other person recognizes the toxic pattern and decides to leave the narcissist first.
Mid-range narcissist discard
What does it mean by mid-range narcissist discard? In my opinion, this type of discard is not that cruel compared to the regular one. Although making you feel worthless is the worst thing one can do, but still, it is not as bad as the way a regular or extreme narcissist will deal with you. It is because a mid-range narcissist is aware that this is causing you to hurt, he may not take responsibility for it, but they may try to make things less worse and comfort you. This individual will not display the malign nature of the more severe evil narcissist. This individual can change depending on if the individual decides to they waver in the middle of good and evil.
Narcissist discard divorce
The ultimate fate of marriage with a narcissist is narcissist discard divorce. But it is not your fault that is how they behave. They realize that marrying was just a mistake; they will say things like “you are not the person I thought you would be” or “I wanted a perfect partner and you are not”. Well, perfection does not exist, we all are human, and we all are flawed, but we are worthy of happiness and love. Unfortunately, a narcissist never understands this, the narcissist always gets what they want, and if their spouse is not capable of doing what they want, marriage reaches narcissist discard divorce stage.
Narcissist discard signs
After falling in love with a narcissist, it feels like your long waited fairy tale has come true. Everything seems perfect, and a narcissist makes sure that you feel special. He will make you feel like you are his only destination. But you don’t know that you have fallen for a narcissist and when you do realize it is too late. You either have fallen hard or are just married to them, which is not easy to break. You may start noticing red flags, but everything is just confusing. If you are kind of person who likes to please others, you might question yourself before you think wrong of your partner.
No matter where you are in a relationship, some signs indicate your partner is showing his/her true colours. You need to understand that your partner is not changing, you did not do anything wrong to upset them, but your partner is like this your partner is a narcissist. Your partner is showing their true nature. They are actually a skilled chameleon changing colours whenever they need to do so. But the point is they can’t camouflage for a very longer time, so they need a new supply, new people to discard old ones to destroy and laugh at. Here are some narcissist discard signs that indicate your narcissist is going to find the next round of supply:
Hovering transforms into negotiating.
You have been told that you are appealing, smart and fun, and your bold nature was a huge turn-on, however, now your narcissist considers you to be the opposite. Your intelligence seems opininionated; your beauty is marked as overzealous, and your humour is not funny anymore but vulgar. The exceptionally superb qualities they once cherished about you are presently the “reason” for the relationship’s destruction, and they help you to remember it day by day you are not good enough they claim the narcissist is coming out.
Your success has become a danger to them.
Maybe you’ve succeeded in the project you’ve been looking for or have been promoted, however rather than receiving appreciation from your partner you’re accused of being busy all the time for work or looking for attention. All of your achievements are considered dangers to your partner’s very presence since they realize they cannot keep up with you. You likewise undermine their spotlight of accepting any approval and praise from others, so you will be informed that your victories aren’t excessively incredible, so zip it.
They are charming at the office and miserable at home.
Everyone loves them at the office or other gatherings and thinks you are so fortunate to be hitched to such an enchanting, charming individual. However, when your partner gets back home, you have to face irritability, rage, disorder, liquor addiction, disengagement, and a reluctance to involve in family activities. This routine happens because it is depleting for them to maintain a false personality for 8 hours at work and when they reach home they resent you or your family for reminding them of all the inabilities they believe they possess.
Your approval or praise for them does not matter anymore.
It is one of the most clear narcissist discard signs. You were the only individual whose assessment genuinely made a difference; however, it goes unnoticed if you compliment them. Now, if your narcissist is appalled by you, your commendations are considered as desperate and needy. They now go somewhere else to look for endorsement from those they appreciate, and who haven’t got on to their narcissistic ways. They will jump from one person to another this way.
Their sympathy transforms into apathy.
Your sickness or a terrible day at the workplace wasonce sympathized with chicken soup or a bundle of roses. But now no matter how hard your day was they tell you their day was more miserable than you. Also, as you put in more effort and try harder to get an ounce of sympathy, you only have to face apathy. Furthermore, this is most likely the hardest thing about being in love with a narcissist – on the grounds that when your feelings go neglected, you keep on pursuing them which places your confidence in extreme risk. When your confidence is gone, you risk remaining with your narcissist for the long haul, since you don’t figure you can do any better.
The worst thing about falling in love with a narcissist is that the qualities attract you to them are the ones they resent a lot. It is because they know you are a great person and they can’t match you.
What’s more, since you are the one nearest to them, you become the one who is “onto them,” and start questioning their conduct. A narcissist’s biggest dread is being uncovered that they are not special anymore. So being their partner, you are abandoned, abused, traumatized and ultimately discarded.
They will give you the silent treatment.
It is one of the main tactics used by a narcissist. You know the individual is doing wrong, this person is hurting you, and you are clueless. You don’t know what to do so you try talking to them but what do you get? The silent treatment. The narcissist will try to avoid you and will not respond to your messages or calls. It makes them feel powerful. In their way, they are manipulating you and trying to control you. This is the worst thing someone can do with their partner whenever you notice this toxicity make sure to leave the person immediately.
Why does a narcissist discard you?
A question arises why does a narcissist discard you? The first reason is that the narcissist thinks they do not need you anymore and whatever they wanted from you, they already got. But it can also because of your behaviour. One day when you realize that the behaviour is toxic and you do not want to take it anymore, you have become their worst enemy.
A narcissist would never accept a person who knows how to recognize manipulation and abuse. You called out their toxic behaviour. They liked it when you were not responsive and were not able to recognize their toxic behaviour. But now you are aware of their tactics and trying to make them understand you cannot handle this you are the enemy.
Why does a narcissist discard you? You are trying to set boundaries or give them a silent treatment and they are not used to this. You are not interesting to them anymore and just a boring person who is now useless to them.
Does a narcissist discard for good?
Does a narcissist discard for good? Initially, you may think that it is cruel. You loved that person, so it is heart-wrenching. You invested your time and energy and love, but the narcissist just treated you a like a mere object in response. But believe me, it is for the best. A narcissist will never change their ways because the narcissist thinks that there is nothing wrong with their behaviour, and if you keep living under this influence, you will lose your self-esteem.
Does a narcissist discard for good? The narcissist may think that getting rid of you is doing well and teaching you a lesson, but actually, it is good for you. They may come back in some cases but only for more manipulation and suffering You are going to get rid of a toxic person walk away when they discard never go back.
Recovering from narcissist discard
Being discarded by the person you love is the worst feeling ever. It is such an exhausting experience because it involves dealing with rejection, abandonment, betrayal, and replacement. It feels even more painful because the person knows you well and wants to throw you away by choice. The narcissist is telling you that you are unacceptable, and this personal rejection makes everything even worse.
This leads to a feeling of worthlessness and also causes emotional trauma to the attachment system. This can lead to relationship fears and commitment ears in future. Suppose you have been discarded by the person you were in an intimidate relationship with. In that case, you will be deeply wounded because you allowed yourself to trust the person; you chose to be vulnerable around them. But let me assure you one thing recovering from narcissist discard is possible. Although it is not easy and you have to invest your energy and time, you can still do this. If you are wondering how to recover from narcissist discard and silent treatment here are some tips for you:
Take some time to grieve.
Do not try to ignore your emotions and try to accept them. The more you permit yourself to feel these emotions, the faster you will heal. Grieving is the way towards communicating your emotions that you are trying to hide. Talk about your loss and feelings surrounding this loss. Recall all good and bad memories, write down your emotions in the form of a letter and seek closure.
Challenge your negative thoughts
While grieving you are spending time with yourself, you are in shock and also while in denial you question yourself, “why did it happen?” or “where was I wrong”. You will doubtlessly be trusting that your lost love will return. But actually, the narcissist will never return unless the narcissist needs something from you. A narcissist has treated you so badly that you feel worthless now and think that you are not good enough for anyone. You have presumably been urged to accept that you are the issue and you were never fully ready to take care of the relationship. You have all these negative thoughts that are not true, but you have been treated so badly that you believe them. You need to understand that it will only cause you harm and will not give you any benefit. You need to understand that you are not a problem. You need to remind yourself that you are a good person who deserves to be loved. You have to believe that you can recover yourself from this trauma and can have a delightful future.
Do not take responsibility of things you have not done.
Being in a relationship with a toxic person, makes you think everything bad that happened in a relationship was your fault. But actually, it was not your fault. The narcissist will blame you for everything. If someone uses you to get their way, it tells you a lot about them not about you. So there is no need to take responsibility of things you have not done. Realize that it is an opportunity for you to get rid of a toxic and poor relationship.
Learn a lesson from your experiences
Just because your narcissist partner chose to discard, this does not mean you are not capable of being in a romantic and loving relationship. You need to consider this as a valuable experience. Ask some questions to yourself like:
- What did you learn from this relationship that you can use to make your next relationship better?
- What could have you done to make this relationship better? It is not about blaming yourself but for personal growth. Maybe you should have left that person once you realized that this individual was toxic.
- Am I ready to start a new relationship and be vulnerable around them?
Seek help from a professional
Dealing with a narcissist is stressful and needs patience. You obviously love them, that’s why you tried to make everything work, but what did you get in response? Only rejection and trauma. Your mental health is more important than anything. So you need to seek help from a professional as it will not be easy for you to deal with the whole trauma on your own. A professional mental health care provider can assess the whole situation and suggest the best solution. Do not rush things and take everything slowly. A professional may suggest you embark on some meditation techniques and also therapy.
Changing lifestyle habits
Therapy and even medication is not that effective against narcissism if you are not ready to change yourself. If you are in denial and think that there is no problem you won’t be able to deal with it. It means you are not even that interested in therapy; you are doing this just for peer pressure. There is a need to bring a positive change in your life, and it is only possible if you change your lifestyle habits. Try eating healthy food, prefer morning walk etc. You doctor will also recommend some relaxation exercises to improve your mood and make you feel relaxed. The frustration and anger you feel will be lower with the help of these healthy practices. It will make recovering from narcissist discard easy.
THE BEST REVENGE AGAINST A NARCISSIST IS LIVING WELL DO NOT LET HEM WIN
A study was conducted back in 2015 in which it was reported that most people move on in their life three months of their breakup. However, according to the research reports of the 2017 study, it was found that most people take 18 months to get back to their life after they end a romantic relationship. In the case of a toxic relationship, it can take a long time as you are not only dealing with the breakup but the trauma of a toxic relationship.
Narcissist discard and silent treatment can ruin your future relationships too. But if you are willing to make your life better, you can move on from this. I have tried my best to share useful information about narcissist discard and silent treatment, BOOK A SESSION WITH A THERAPIST NOW.