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Emotional Maturation

Emotional Maturation

emotional maturation

Some can better understand their emotions and can control them. Even intelligent people feel overwhelmed with emotions sometimes. That is because we all know one size does not fit everyone when we talk about our response to betrayal, conflict, and other relationships. Our life experiences, upbringing, and genetics, everything shapes our response to difficult situations.

This article is all about Emotional maturation; you will be able to know about some signs of emotional maturation and how you can develop emotional maturation. So, let’s get started:

What is meant by emotional maturity?

what is meant by emotional maturity

What is meant by emotional maturity? Here is a proper definition for you:

“Emotional maturity is when someone can manage their emotions no matter their circumstances.”

Emotional Maturation meaning

emotional maturation meaning

Emotional maturation meaning is“a high and appropriate level of emotional control and expression.”

Which is a sign of emotional maturation?

which is a sign of emotional maturation

Who is an emotionally mature person? Someone who understands himself better and tries to deal with difficult situations in the best possible way. But which is a sign of emotional maturation? Well, there are plenty of signs; let’s discuss some clear signs:

Accept when you are wrong.

Denying our responsibility and being defensive when we are wrong is easy. Sometimes we also get overwhelmed with shame because of our act of ignorance or imperfection. Acknowledging when we are wrong needs courage, humility, and self-compassion. So, a person who is emotionally mature will never be afraid to accept when he or she is wrong and try to make things right.

You are mindful when you are biased.

Having prejudices and biases is something we all have. Being totally unbiased is impossible; we are living in a stereotyping world. So, the main thing is to learn how to cultivate an active awareness of these prejudices and biases and critically observe how these things can influence our actions and decisions. Ask yourself where you may be practicing discrimination and how you can start to counter these false practices.

You know when you need help.

Our emotions are very important; we cannot ignore them. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed because of all the complicated thoughts and emotions, and dealing with them is not easy. Most of us want to be independent, but there is nothing wrong with asking for help. So, knowing when to ask for help is not a sign of weakness but of courage and an indication of emotional maturity.

You think before you react.

Mindfulness is our biggest weapon; we can expand the time of the emotion we are feeling and reacting. We acquire a feeling of roominess as to how we notice our feelings — instead of sticking to our emotions instantly and responding immediately; we figure out how to initially observe and afterward respond more productively and carefully.

You let complicated feelings in

Perfectionism advises us to remain in our comfort, certain about everything and in charge. It advises us to control our surroundings so we never feel powerless, uncertain, or needy. It protects us from our fears of havng failed, embarrassed, or getting rejected. Unfortunately, most of us pass our life along these lines. So, in case you’ve felt awkward emotions recently and recognized them, you’re filling the correct way, regardless of whether your perfectionistic motivations are advising you in any case.

You understand that knowing a lot is still close to nothing.

According to Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.” Those of us who accept we know everything has very little space for plausibility and information. This is the reason the enlightenment idea is just a paradox; the more we think that we are closer to achieve this, the more it moves away. Still, being able to accept the discomfort and find peace within it is actually where growth starts.

You are caring and compassionate towards yourself

Judgment usually comes from hatred. It is the thing that attracts unhealthy relationships with ourselves as well as other people. If you’ve learned or are figuring out how to be more caring to others as well as to yourself, you are going in the right direction.

Emotional Maturation lag

emotional maturation lag

Emotional Maturation is considered as one of the most important factors in people being able to function in a better way in this world. Researchers use the term “emotional intelligence” for explaining how well an individual uses their emotional and cognitive development in order to get success as an adult. In the recent years, what researchers believe is that emotional intelligence is much more important as compared to intelligence in being a successful individual.

Emotional maturation lag is when someone is unable to understand and process his emotions In the best possible way. An adult can have emotional maturation delay because of traumatic events and unmet needs during childhood. Sometimes brain injuries may also intervene with the pathways of the brain in order to disturb the functioning. This is usually common in adopted children or those who are living in foster care according to research when they have experienced trauma and neglect.

Emotional Maturation lag examples

Let me share some emotional maturation lag examples with you:

  • For instance, when a baby cries, parents take care of her, soothe her, feed her, take her to the doctor if she is in pain. This makes the baby realize that she is worth caring for and that adults can be trusted. But if that does not happen, it leads to trust issues in the child, and he or she may think that he/she is not that valuable.
  • Another example is getting attached to one significant parent or caregiver. This can lead to stranger anxiety. If a child has been moved between parents, attachment may get impaired or may not occur at all. Over time normally, a child learns that he can wait in order to get his/her needs met. But this does not happen in the case of emotional maturation lag, and the child throws tantrums every time he or she does not get what they want.

Emotional Maturation in the brain

emotional maturation in the brain

During the early years of childhood, brain development is remarkable. Thinking is starting to get complex, language blossoms, and other developments that also lead to Emotional maturation in the brain.

Developing Emotional maturation in the brain is possible even if you are a full-grown adult. This kind of psychotherapy is known as reparenting. According to Dr. LePera:

“Reparenting means doing the work to become aware of your own emotions, needs, and values. If we were denied these things in childhood, we will demonstrate behaviors that are emotionally immature such as neediness, being demanding, or withdrawing.”

Emotional and behavioral Maturation

emotional and behavioural maturation

Emotional and behavioral maturation is linked to each other. If a person is not mature enough emotionally, he or she cannot behave well. On the other hand, someone who is mature emotionally can tackle tough situations in a better manner. Not only is it that he or she understands his/her own emotions, but the individual will also understand how others are feeling and how he or she should respond.

How you can develop emotional maturity?

Undoing what you have learned so far, changing old habits, and developing new skills will not be easy at all. But you got to start somewhere, and it would be better if you start right now. Here are some practices that you can try to develop emotional maturity:

Shame is not for you.

There is nothing wrong with lacking emotional maturity, especially when you want to improve yourself.  We are trying our best to implement what we have been taught and causing yourself to feel bad about something that benefits no one. Instead, be more aware of self and your triggers, and that will strengthen you:

Dr. LePera says, “The more conscious we become of our emotional immaturity, the more we have agency to change the behavior and grow into emotional maturity.”

Find yourself a role model.

You might have a role model for your career or for your relationships; just like that, you can also have a role model for emotional maturity. According to prosperity astrologer and educational therapist Elisa Robyn, Ph.D.:

“This can be a real person or someone on TV who deals with difficulties in a way that you admire. Watch how they deal with grief, emotional challenges, raising children, or life changes.”

Role models have the ability to show you what is possible and build up the conviction that you can, in fact, foster a deeper level of emotional maturity.

Know what triggers you

Jenna Linville, success coach and business consultant, says, “The first step to almost all personal growth is awareness. Begin to consider and form awareness around your emotional triggers.” Focus on things that can trigger your emotions. Is it something in particular that people do or say? Is it a particular situation? Keeping a list of these triggers on your phone will prove helpful.

Accept your emotions

Emotions can have a mental and physiological effects. Dr. LePera also says that paying attention and getting curious about how different emotions are affecting your body will help. Do you feel tingling, heat, or tightness, or something else? Note everything.

Learn about how can you soothe your emotions

Our emotions do not deserve ignorance or avoidance from us. It is our responsibility to deal with our emotions in the best possible way. You can use two different approaches for this purpose active approach and passive.

Active strategies include going for a walk, taking a bath, joining a yoga class, and something like that you can do physically that you think can help with emotions. On the other hand, an example of passive strategy is developing tolerance to be with your emotions, including complicated ones, without trying to bury them.

Another approach for soothing your emotions is to allow yourself to feel all the emotions and let them pass. It would be better If you try to do this at some safe place with someone you can trust.

Label your emotions

Dr. LePera says, “We are not given a manual on what these sensations mean or how to give them names. Our journey is about learning how to give language to the things we are feeling in our bodies.” After observing your emotions, try to understand how you feel and then label them; this will help you in communicating your emotions with others in a more effective way.

Understand others

Understanding and processing your emotions is necessary, but understanding the level of emotional maturity of people around you is also very important. You also should be able to handle their emotional acting, so you must not overreact in response. Dr. LePera says,

“It’s important to stay present and observe the behavior rather than react to it. Then, you can choose to communicate openly about it.”

Take responsibility

Having a level of emotional maturity implies that you assume full liability for what occurs in your life—the great and the awful. Observe the issues you have made for yourself. From that point, think about what actions you can make to change those practices. This can incorporate saying ‘sorry’ to individuals you’ve harmed, accepting you have an issue, and looking for help.


Next time you feel like you are overwhelmed with emotions, grab a pen and write about every emotion you feel. Research supports the idea of journaling in order to develop emotional maturity. When you feel like you are in a better place, re-read the whole thing. Try to assess whether you reacted with maturity or not. If you feel like you did not react in a mature way, try to figure out what did you learn from this experience and how you will deal with a similar situation in the future.

Emotional development maturational perspective

emotional development maturational perspective

Let’s have a look at some of the best emotional development maturational perspective quotes:

  • “Stop thinking like Alice in Wonderland, Celia told herself sternly. You’re a grown-up, it’s no use shutting your eyes, wishing things would happen” ― Maeve Binchy.
  • “Empathy is what makes people feel safe in relationships. Along with self-awareness, it’s the soul of emotional intelligence, guiding people toward prosocial behavior and fairness in dealings with others. In contrast, nonempathic people overlook your feelings and don’t seem to imagine your experience or be sensitive to it. It’s important to be aware of this, because a person who isn’t responsive to your feelings won’t be emotionally safe when the two of you have any kind of disagreement.” ― Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
  • “Emotional immaturity is searching for love outside you. Emotional maturity comes from realizing you are the source of love.” ― Collette O’Mahony, In Quest of Love: A Guide to Inner Harmony and Wellbeing in Relationships.
  • “Emotionally disconnected parents don’t suddenly develop a capacity for empathy just because a child does something to please them.” ― Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
  • “If our life isn’t where we want it, it’s because we have experienced an emotional marker that fires repeatedly and has created a system that is working against us.” ― Kenny Weiss, Your Journey To Success: How to Accept the Answers You Discover Along the Way.
  • “It’s easy to like people who don’t care if you like them or not, and who also seem to like you. There are no uncomfortable expectations that way.” ― Weez Phillips, The Lightest, Heaviest Things.
  • “Moment to moment, you are a sum of emotions and thoughts. So it is important, if you find that something makes you emotional, to step back and reflect on whether you want to fight this battle – whether or not you want to pour emotions into it. This is related to the earlier exercise of knowing what you are seeking. Those who are emotionally mature know when to fight, and when not to. If you are getting caught up in a situation, and find yourself exasperated or frustrated, take a step back. Take a few seconds to breathe deeply and assess exactly what you are upset about. Then think, is this worth the frustration? If it is not important in the grand scheme of things (however you choose to frame it), recognize that you need not devote the emotional energy towards the situation.” ― Charlotte Maloney, Emotional Maturity: Discover How to Control Your Emotions and Be More Mature.
  • “So do not ignore your emotions. Instead, recognize them, step back to make sure they are not overpowering your ability to act, and determine how you can channel them to act in a productive manner. If you are able to do this, you will become a master of emotional maturity.” ― Charlotte Maloney, Emotional Maturity: Discover How to Control Your Emotions and Be More Mature.
  • “Negative emotions like jealousy and self-doubt often arise when there is an incongruity between what you are and who you think you ought to be.” ― Charlotte Maloney, Emotional Maturity: Discover How to Control Your Emotions and Be More Mature.
  • “Emotional maturity is hard to maintain without maturity in other aspects of your life. Thus, if you are not in control of the situation, it is easy to become overwhelmed by life.” ― Charlotte Maloney, Emotional Maturity: Discover How to Control Your Emotions and Be More Mature.
  • “There are no friends and no enemies, only teachers.” ― Charlotte Maloney, Emotional Maturity: Discover How to Control Your Emotions and Be More Mature.
  • “you could approach each situation thinking, “there is something here for me to learn from.” This is an extremely valuable mindset if you want to emotionally mature. It brings a lens of critical reflection to all your interactions, combined with empathy for others.” ― Charlotte Maloney, Emotional Maturity: Discover How to Control Your Emotions and Be More Mature.
  • “Life is not about the situations you are confronted with, it is about how you confront a particular situation.”― Charlotte Maloney, Emotional Maturity: Discover How to Control Your Emotions and Be More Mature.
  • “Assertion is a habit in opposition to passivity, which prioritizes the needs of others, and aggression, which prioritizes your needs.”― Charlotte Maloney, Emotional Maturity: Discover How to Control Your Emotions and Be More Mature.

Female Emotional Maturation

female emotional maturation

Here are some female emotional maturation suggestions by some Reddit users:

“Meditation, Journal (stream of consciousness, just write down what is on your mind), Train yourself to not immediately react and act from your emotions. Bored waiting around? Don’t just grab out your phone and start browsing. Sit with the emotion and observe the emotion and feeling without doing anything. Do this for a couple of seconds and then think about the best way you can choose to act in spite of the emotion and then do that thing.”

“Try to get involved in something bigger than yourself. Looking outside yourself can put things in perspective. Could be writing music, being in a book club, having kids, starting an exercise regime, hanging out with friends, volunteering. Something long-term that you can invest in and see movement, especially if it involves other people.”

“It’s all highly personal: what works for others, may not work for you. From my experience there are 2 things: discipline and self-consciousness. We can do control what we do think. So, if you have some unwanted emotions, tell yourself STOP. Explicitly. Repeat several times. Then focus on one thing you need to do now, and then just start doing, don’t think any more, Its pretty much that simple. It is the same approach in the gym or when your exercise: you don’t think, you just doing, And after that thank to yourself and be grateful to yourself for what you have done.”

“I would do the classic- whenever you feel upset, angry, sad, ect, be honest with others and yourself. Tell yourself that it’s okay to feel like this, and that it’s normal. You don’t need to make yourself feel better right away. Count to ten, walk away, and let yourself be calm. Meditation might help this.”

“I’ve been practicing mindfulness every day for about a year now and I can definitely say that writing your thoughts is a good way to not only better examine and understand yourself, but it helps you let out your feelings and express yourself in your daily life.”

“I’ve been posting my thoughts on a blog every day and in doing so I’ve learned patience, discipline (through writing daily), and independence. Simply the act of starting something and committing to it is how you’ll get better at it. So if your goal is emotional maturity, the fact that you’ve already started to question it is a good start. Keep thinking about it, and ACT in ways that will benefit you. Let go of expectations for results, rather, just do it and don’t make it your focus. With time you just become more mature because it’s what you want to be. Think it and so shall it become a part of you. Good luck.”


Emotional maturation is what we all need. Without it will not be easy to function properly in this world. Being not mature enough is not bad, but you can develop emotional maturation  as an adult by following some common practices mentioned above. Accepting that you need to get better is the first step towards improvement.

So this was all about emotional maturation. I have tried my best to share some useful information with you, hope  you will find it helpful. GET SUPPORT AND ADVICE NOW CLICK HERE.

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