How to talk to your child about relationships

How to talk to your child about relationships

How to talk to your child about relationships?

Talking to a child about relationships is not easy. Parents get confused about what to tell them and what to not. You might be going through the same. Tell your kids about what a healthy relationship is and what an unhealthy relationship is. Define healthy boundaries for them and tell them how they can set these boundaries to get the love and respect they deserve.

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This was a brief answer to your question. In this article, I am going to cover this in detail. Knowing what a relationship is and what is worthy of investing time and love into can help them in establishing a happy life. They can be successful in their personal and professional life.

This article, “How to talk to your child about relationships”, is all about some tips and suggestions based on my own experience. So let’s get started with these.

How to explain relationships to a child?

How to talk to your child about relationships” Relationships are very important in our lives. Healthy relationships are what we all need in our lives to make them meaningful. During childhood, it is important to make them learn how to be a good friend; when they are in primary school, it is necessary to talk about bullies. While in secondary school, puberty hits and the talk about sex becomes necessary. In all this, we almost forget to teach our children about healthy relationships. According to an estimation by the Centers for Disease Control, every one in ten high school students gets hit, physically hurt or slapped by a girlfriend or a boyfriend. It is necessary to teach children about the key elements of healthy relationships so that they can enjoy long-lasting healthy relationships and respect themselves.

If you are wondering “How to explain relationships to a child?” here are some key elements to start with:

Start the conversation

You have decided that you are going to talk about relationships; it is time to practically act on it. Kids are different too, and so are the situations you have to face with them. Starting a conversation with them about relationships is not tough. Here are some ways to start a conversation with your child:

  • What do you think about a relationship?
  • What do you think a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationship looks like?
  • What you think you should do if your partner is abusive or controlling?
  • Did you know that you should never feel pressured in your relationship?

Starting with these questions can help you understand what your child thinks about all these things. You can have an idea of where to correct him/her and how to guide the child properly.

Explain healthy relationships with examples

There are different ways to talk about this, however emphasizing that healthy relationships should revolve around honesty, trust, regard, communication, understanding and most importantly, respect. A solid relationship will permit the two partners to have different individual interests and friends. There should be a sense of individuality while being a couple. Explaining all of these components and showing them examples of how these elements look like is also really important.

Clarify what an unhealthy relationship looks like

How to talk to your child about relationships” There are numerous elements that make a relationship abusive or unhealthy. According to a definition, an unhealthy relationship is:

“An imbalance in which one partner tries to exercise control and power over the other through threats, emotional abuse, and physical abuse. At its most extreme, an unhealthy relationship can include name-calling and insults, withholding of money or other resources, threats to isolate a person from friends and family, coercion, violent acts, stalking and significant physical injury.”

Explain this to your child in a friendly way so that your child can understand what you are talking about. This is very necessary if the child knows the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship; they can help others too and will be more safe in situations due to their awareness.

Digital abuse awareness is necessary.

These days technology is an important part of our lives. Consistent correspondence through online media platforms and messaging gives teenagers a chance to be involved in undesirable practices, like digital abuse. Misuse of social media happens when an individual uses modern technology, for example, cell phones and PCs, to harass others via texting or social media. It may include:

  • Undesirable calls or messages
  • Cyberbullying or harassment on social media platforms
  • Sexting – Pressurizing someone to send nudes
  • Utilizing online media to control other relationships
  • Forcing the individual for their passwords to email and other social media accounts

Help them in identifying healthy boundaries

If you are wondering “How to explain relationships to a child?” this is very important for you to understand. Healthy personal boundaries are something important for every teen to establish. Boundaries are essential for protection against physical and sexual abuse in a relationship. This away, a person can also understand other’s values and what is right and what is not. Work with your child to recognize and express their own boundaries and values. Also, talk about family values and how these correlate with romantic relationships. While it is significant for youths to comprehend their own limits, it is likewise imperative to comprehend that their partner has limits that should be regarded.

Read signs of an unhealthy relationship and talk.

Unfortunately unhealthy relationships are about being unable to respect the partner’s boundaries, absence of respect and an imbalance of force and control. In case you have a feeling that your child is investing their time and energy more in his/her partner and not spending as much time with friends, family, or individual interests, it is a red flag. In case you notice these red flags, the time has come to chat with your teenager. Guide the child properly and tell them some quick strategies to get rid of this relationship safely codependency is very damaging for teenagers.

Ask for professional help.

This applies to both you and your teenager. In case your teenager is battling with a relationship, support him/her to look for help from you, a local resource or a trusted adult. Moreover, in case you need some help to begin a discussion about healthy relationship with your youngster or you are concerned they are in a damaging relationship, look for help. There are a lot of resources that can prove helpful to you.

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How to talk to your son about relationships?

How to talk to your son about relationships? Bringing up sons is even more difficult as they are a bit more rebellious. So it can be really challenging. You might want to know about how other parents are talking about relationships with their sons. Reddit can really help in that.

Here is what a Reddit user says about “How to talk to your son about relationships?”

“This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I would recommend encouraging your son to take this relationship seriously if he wants to call it “dating”. If he’s serious about this girl, then they shouldn’t keep it a secret. If she can’t tell her parents then he should respectfully stop “dating her” and just be friends. I just think that’s a better attitude for him to have through life.

How to talk to your child about dating?

Your child is growing up, and you wonder, “How to talk to your child about dating?” It feels really awkward, I know. But just like teaching basic manners to our children, it is also very important to guide them about dating and sexuality. You will feel embarrassed, but you need to keep those emotions aside. You are the most important connection in this whole scenario; you want the best for your child so only you can guide them with their best interest at heart. Here I am going to tell you about “How to talk to your child about dating?” so that you can do it in a better way without being the awkward parent.

What age should my kid start dating?

Being a parent means you have to be there for your kid though any change occurring in their life. You were there when they took their first step and spoke their first word; you taught them how to tie their shoes, you make them learn manners now you have to be by their side when they are going to start their dating life.

What age should my kid start dating? Teen years of your children are neither easy on you nor on them. They are going through a lot of changes. You start wondering what age should my kid start dating? Well, to put it in simple words, there is not a proper age for dating, but on average, kids of 16-17 years old are ready to step into the dating world. But that is not the kind of dating you are thinking about.

Dating at different ages can mean different things. For instance, if your kid is in year 8/9, and you hear the word “dating” from his/her mouth, it means he/she is sitting next to a kid who has a special place in your kid’s heart. While in year 10, dating means children are spending a lot of time texting, sharing pictures on social media accounts etc. Some may start holding hands but nothing more than that. Things get really serious between 16 -18, and everything is really fast.

So whenever your child mentions the word girlfriend, boyfriend or dating, try to know what this actually means, what is the meaning of these terms in their mind.  Try to guide him/her based on how they react when you mention the word “dating”.

For many tweens and teens, dating means socializing; there is no harm in that. But what is the right time for one-on-one dating? There is nothing like a perfect answer in this regard. You have to consider the mental maturity of your child. One-on-one dating can bring some awkward moments, so is your child mature enough emotionally and has a sense of responsibility to deal with that? On average, 15-16 years seems a reasonable age for this kind of dating. But if your kid is still immature emotionally, make him/her wait for one or two years. You can also talk to other parents about this whose kids are dating and are of the same age as your child.

How to talk to your tween about dating?

How to talk to your tween about dating? The whole concept of dating is changed now. In the old days, tween dating meant holding hands and giggling or sharing ice creams; well, now, it is just partially true. In most cases, tween dating is much more than that. They are exposed to a lot of pictures of sexual activities via television, games etc.; this has a huge impact on your tween’s behaviour. But you cannot just sit and let society or the internet decide what dating should mean to your tween. You are a parent; you can guide them and set limits.

So, how to talk to your tween about dating? Here are some tips for you:

Understand what they think of dating

So your tween mentioned that he is dating this guy or girl from school, and you are confused about what it means, talk to them. Have an idea what does he/she thinks of dating, as I have mentioned above. Once you know about it the next step is easy.

Have a meaningful conversation

It is very important for your tween to learn some basic dating rules. Educate them about what you think about dating, teach them family values. Teach them appropriate dating behaviour, for instance, tell them, “it is okay to hold hands, but I would not encourage kissing, you are too young for that”. in addition to this talk about some other family rules, like you won’t let allow your child’s friend in his/her bedroom unless the door is open.  You need to be clear about the rules.

Stay aware

It is very important for you to be aware of your tween’s activities. Stay in touch with other parents of your local community and teachers at school so that they can tell you if your tween is involved in some inappropriate activities.

A model date can help.

Go on a first date with your tween to show model behaviour. Make them feel that they can talk to you about anything and any issue. They should not hide anything from you only then you can guide them properly. Make them realize that you care about them and want to be informed about their social life. Encourage them that they can talk about anything and doors of communication of any kind are always open.

Dating rules for teenage daughter

Daughters are really close to their fathers, and honestly, no father or even mother can see their daughter cuddling with her boyfriend. But eventually, she will do it when her dating life starts. What will you do then?. No matter how hard you wish that she doesn’t start dating but eventually she will, so instead of being paranoid about her dating life, it would be better to set some ground dating rules for teenage daughter. By setting these rules, you are giving a clear message of what is acceptable for you and what is not regarding her dating life.

Before setting these rules and imposing them on your daughter, let her understand why these rules are so important. If she understands that these rules are for her own well-being, she will be willing to follow these rules; otherwise, she will argue with you, and may get rebellious.

So what are some useful dating rules for a teenage daughter and her boyfriend? Here are some of these:

Open door

By this does not mean a door should be wide open; it can be closed but not locked. Like she can close the door, but when you go for opening it, it should not be locked.

Accept the way you are

It is very important for daughters to understand that they are unique and naturally beautiful. They should not try to attract someone with their looks. Everyone should accept them the way they are. So ask her not to pretend to be someone else just to get someone’s attention and dress provocatively.

PDA is not allowed

Tell her that display of love and affection should not be in public; she should also be in control in private too. Parents do know that their daughter will kiss, but they do not to want to see it.

Respect

Respect is a very important element in a relationship. So tell your daughter that she should be treated with respect in a relationship and there is no other option, and she should do the same. The respect must be mutual

Curfew time

11:00 means 11:00, and there will be no exceptions. Tell your child they cannot go out of town alone  with that guy  she is dating unless you are invited too.

Trust your daughter

You have put a lot of efforts, and you need to trust your efforts. You have spent your whole life teaching her good values. She will not break your trust. You have got to believe in her unless it is proven that she cannot be trusted.

How to talk to teenage son about girlfriend?

How to talk to teenage son about girlfriend? Well, this is a tricky question. Guys may not feel comfortable while talking about their girlfriend to their parents. Here is what people say about “How to talk to a teenage son about girlfriend?” on Reddit:

“What are your expectations? If you make those clear and they agree, it becomes a lot easier. Boys and girls (even b/f + g/f’s) can be together and trusted if your expectations are made clear. It’s not about the location but the behaviours. Talk about those openly and get agreement and keep an eye on it, adjusting as necessary.”

“It is valid for you to be concerned about your son rushing into something and potentially getting his heartbroken. It is also valid that you are concerned about his time management and grades. But you are equating him prioritizing this relationship to family time to him sacrificing his grades for the relationship. It is too early in the school year to see if it has affected his grades. Parenting boundaries are fine.”

“It’s your house and your rules, but kids will find a way if they so desire (and it doesn’t matter what you wish of them). I personally would rather they do it in their room, then at the park or the back seat of a car somewhere. I would educate them on safe sex and send them over to the /r sex Reddit. This is just as much a learning curve in life as anything else for them and quite natural. I would be upset they disrespected my rules also, but I have the feeling they felt they couldn’t come to you and get permission for such a thing either. The end of the day, in life, you’re darned if you do, darned if you don’t.”

“Hubby and I live with four very “type A” young adults, now 25 and 26, so I somewhat understand what you mean. Ours were and remained junior high sweethearts and made long term goals and plans during the summer before starting 9th grade, which they have followed through on and executed to perfection. Try to guide the GF to birth control that is less prone to human error by hapless, witless careless teens, like the pill, which is very prone to not being used correctly. The most effective forms of birth control are the shot, implant, and IUD because they are out of the control of the teen to mess upon. Grandchildren are wonderful, but they do complicate lives. The youngest couple has blessed us with three grandsons, now 5,6,8, and via adoption oldest couple have blessed us with three granddaughters, now 15,16,17. LOVE OUR GRANDCHILDREN!!!! All the best to your son and his girlfriend!!!!! As I mentioned, they may be a “teen romance gone GOOD” that as well last a lifetime!!!!”

Conclusion

Being a parent is not easy; it becomes even more difficult when you have to deal with a teenager who is dealing with hormonal changes and might be a little rebellious. Things get even more confusing when he/she mentions “dating”. This is the time when you need to talk to them about dating and relationships so that they can build healthy and meaningful relationships. You need to be really calm and understanding because anything you say can affect your teenager’s mind. If you choose your words, wisely your teenager will understand you and try to follow the rules you set for them.

In this article, I have tried my best to share some useful tips on “How to talk to your child about relationships”, hope so you will find these helpful. TALK TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS SERVICE CLICK HERE.

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Author: Missdatedoctor

Miss Date Doctor is an online dating coach, psychologist and relationship coach platform offering modernised services on Video, phone or face to face sessions never seen in the UK dating industry before. The Leading Dating Coach London Website with professional dating consultants. One of the only dating advice websites in the UK offering bitcoin, cryptocurrency dating services.