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Narcissistic Supply

Narcissistic Supply

Narcissistic supply, according to psychoanalytic theory, is a pathological or excessive demand for attention or admiration from codependents, or such a need in the orally fixated that does not take into account other people’s feelings, opinions, or preferences.

Otto Fenichel used the term in 1938 to define a form of adoration, interpersonal support, or sustenance derived from one’s surroundings that is crucial to one’s self-esteem.


Based on Freud’s idea of narcissistic fulfillment and the work of his colleague, psychologist Karl Abraham, Fenichel emphasized the narcissistic need in early development for supplies to enable young infants to retain a sense of mental equilibrium.

Aggression and ingratiation were identified as two key techniques for getting such narcissistic supplies, contrasting types of approach that could subsequently grow into sadistic and submissive traits, respectively.

A childhood loss of vital supplies was the catalyst for Fenichel’s depression, as well as a subsequent predisposition to seek compensatory narcissistic resources.

He saw impulse neuroses and addictions, especially love addiction and gambling, as results of his latter life fight for supplies. Neurotic gambling, according to psychoanalyst Ernst Simmel (1920), is an attempt to reclaim primordial affection and attention in an adult situation.

Personality disorders

According to psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg, the malignant narcissistic criminal is coldly characterized by a contempt for others unless they can be idealized as providers of narcissistic supply. According to self-practitioner Heinz Kohut, when people with narcissistic personality disorder are cut off from a regular source of narcissistic supply, they disintegrate mentally. Those who supply such figures may be viewed as though they are part of the narcissist, with all personal boundaries being obliterated.

Functions In narcissistic pathology

The narcissist internalizes a “bad” recipient during their adolescence (usually their parent). Feelings that are socially taboo against this recipient are considered, including forms of violence like anger and envy, among others.

The narcissist’s self-image as immoral and corrupt is reinforced by these perceptions. They eventually lead to a distorted sense of self-worth. Their self-esteem and self-image become warped and unrealistically poor. The narcissist suppresses all emotions in an attempt to repress these “bad” feelings.

Their rage is diverted into socially acceptable dreams or outlets, such as extreme sports, gambling, reckless driving, and shopping. The environment is hostile, unstable, unfulfilling, morally incorrect, and unpredictable for the narcissist.

Because narcissists lack an intrinsic sense of self-worth, they need other people to re-affirm their value, either through attention or narcissistic supply, in order to feel good about themselves and preserve their self-esteem.

They then transform other individuals into operations or items in such a way that they are no longer a threat to others’ emotional well-being. Pathological narcissism is the result of this reactive tendency.

To extract a steady stream of attention or narcissistic supply from others, the narcissist portrays a fake self. The “false self” is an illusory facade or cover that the narcissist presents to the public, and it includes what the narcissist wants to be perceived as: powerful, elegant, intelligent, wealthy, or well-connected.

The narcissist then “collects” reactions from their environment, which may include their spouse, family, friends, coworkers, business partners, and peers, to this projected false self. If the narcissist does not receive the expected narcissistic supply (adoration, attention, fear, respect, acclaim, or confirmation), they are demanded or extorted.

To a narcissist, money, compliments, media presence, and sexual conquest are all just different expressions of the same thing: narcissistic supply.

Narcissistic Supply Cycle

narcissistic supply cycle

What is the definition of narcissistic supply?

Narcissistic supply cycle is an emotional dependency in which the narcissist needs regular reinforcement and adulation to feel good about himself.

A narcissist has an inflated sense of self and relies on others to feed their ego. As a result, they would purposefully target those who are prone to manipulation and narcissistic abuse because of their superficial charm and charisma.

Narcissists want narcissistic supply because they are unable to connect with others in a healthy way. The following explains the Narcissistic supply cycle

The cycle of narcissism

The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle can be a fertile foundation for trauma symptoms to emerge.

However, the mechanics of a narcissistic relationship might be perplexing. It’s difficult to get your head around a narcissist’s thinking style. After all, the phrase conjures up a picture of someone whose entire existence revolves around themselves.

However, things aren’t always as straightforward as they appear. This is especially true when it comes to how narcissists approach relationships, especially romantic ones. Knowing the indications of narcissistic abuse is critical to your happiness and peace of mind.

The narcissistic abuse cycle is what it’s called. Idealization, devaluation, and rejection are the three major stages of this cycle.

People struggling with narcissism or in a relationship with a narcissist can seek the treatment they need by knowing these crucial aspects. Let’s look at the narcissistic abuse cycle in more detail. Knowing the signs of narcissistic abuse might also assist you in recognizing the cycle of narcissistic abuse.

  1. Idealization: When the Relationship Starts

Everyone who has ever been in a romantic relationship will remember those first sentiments of delight and happiness when meeting someone new. Did you, for example, experience euphoria when you first started dating your partner? This is a rather common situation. It’s for this reason that it’s commonly referred to as the honeymoon stage of a relationship.

The narcissistic abuse cycle, on the other hand, takes things to a whole new level. A narcissist will idealize and place their new spouse on a pedestal. It’s not only that they believe they’ve discovered the “correct” one (although that is part of it). Instead, they believe they have discovered perfection and lavish their feelings on their new spouse.

This might feel great at first for the person on the receiving end. It can, however, rapidly become overpowering.

  1. Devaluation and Narcissistic Abuse: When the Narcissist Begins to Deprecate Their Partner.

When the honeymoon phase wears out for most couples, things begin to settle into a regular pattern or habit. You can and will always adore your partner. The first euphoria, however, generally goes off. Nonetheless, this is the time when most couples begin to develop closer relationships in a variety of ways and learn how to operate as partners.

This stage of the relationship is very different from the narcissistic abuse cycle. Instead of developing a closer relationship, the narcissist begins to denigrate their relationship. They see that their spouse isn’t flawless (after all, who is?! ), and they don’t perceive them as valuable. The entire purpose of a person’s worth is to maintain their own sense of self-importance.

As a result, the narcissist tends to criticize the partner or refrain from getting intimate or exhibiting affection. When their partner pushes back, the narcissist may consider themselves the victim and blame their partner, allowing them to devalue them even more.

  1. When They Push Their Partner Away, Rejection and Narcissistic Abuse

Successful couples usually reach a point when they not only get along, but flourish with one another. You may have witnessed or experienced this in other couples. Partners are able to finish each other’s words, understand what the other is thinking, and just “click.” They do, after all, have arguments and even fights. Despite this, they are able to communicate and work out their issues.

On the other hand, a narcissist begins to reject their partner and eventually abandons them in favor of a new relationship that meets their requirements.

Remember that this isn’t a need for affection, belonging, or care. These are the characteristics that most couples aspire to. They are, in reality, the foundation of long-term partnerships. A narcissist, on the other hand, is only interested in connections that will boost their ego and sense of significance. As a result, they will reject and abandon anyone who does not meet that need in favor of someone who does.

The narcissistic abuse cycle is now complete, and a new one begins. As a result, there are a slew of shattered partnerships.

Narcissistic Supply Withdrawal

narcissistic supply withdrawal

Narcissistic Supply Withdrawal. The supply model of narcissism is a terrific method to understand this strange and poisonous personality illness, but one issue remains: what happens when a narcissist’s supply runs out? Life is amazing and they’re on top of the world while they have it, but what if they don’t have it anymore for any reason?

Here’s a quick response:

When a narcissist’s supply runs out, they begin to deplete themselves and can become visibly deflated and unhappy. To offset this, they either attack and generate negative emotions in others in order to inflate themselves, or they discard the person they are with in favor of someone they believe is a greater source of supply.

In other words, narcissists are fundamentally weak and vulnerable people who are addicted to the supply of attention they receive from others.

This can make them very volatile and change people, as well as make it impossible for them to build healthy relationships, which is why these people should be identified and avoided at all costs by healthy people. It may be quite unpleasant to be caught up in a narcissist’s process of losing their supply, so it’s better to learn to recognize and avoid these people in the first place.

Most readers will have a broad sense of what narcissistic supply is, but we’ll go over the concept of supply in relation to narcissism first, and then look at the various reactions you may expect when narcissists lose supply.

Explained: The Narcissism Supply Model

The best approach to comprehending NPD is to look at its supply model. It basically implies that narcissists are always on the lookout for some kind of supply from others, which verifies one of two things:

How lovely, brilliant, bright, humorous, remarkable, and unique they are. Some form of admiration, adoration, or focus

They feel superior and “full” by comparison because of how other people (or one particular target scapegoat individual or group) are ignorant and dumb.

This can take many different forms; here are a few examples (this list is by no means complete):

  • Admiration
  • Attention.
  • adoration (but they never really love you back)
  • Money/resources
  • to be feared
  • Others are under your control or you have authority over them.
  • They are validated and supported in their distorted worldview 100 percent of the time.
  • Sexual arousal
  • A sense of originality, excellence, and uniqueness.
  • In some fields or environments, a sense of being the best or number one dog is desirable.
  • I have the sensation of being the wise and enlightened one, while everyone else is a fool and a slave.
  • As long as they’re the center of attention, they’re subjected to nonstop silliness and back-and-forth humor, jokes, memes, and constant entertainment.
  • You and he have an unspoken agreement that you will always agree on everything and never dissent or criticize any of his glaring character flaws.

All of this stems from the fact that the narcissistic personality is inherently flawed in that the individual is enamored with their own false self-image. There is a mental break there, but they need regular reinforcement (supply) that their erroneous perspective of themselves and the world is genuinely true to keep this mental break intact.

The narcissist becomes depleted if there is no supply.

Everything is fine as long as narcissists obtain their supply from the people around them. Their false self-image is being bolstered; they’re perfect and faultless, capable of doing no wrong, and can even be pleasant to be around.

If, for whatever reason, they do not receive this reinforcement or supply, they will eventually become depleted, and their mood will deteriorate. Some narcissists may experience this more slowly than others, but the lack of reinforcement eventually forces them to confront the harsh fact that their grandiose picture of themselves is untrue and has no bearing on reality.

However, regardless of context, all narcissists will eventually become deflated and unhappy psychologically if their sources of supply are interrupted. Let’s have a look at how Narcissistic Supply Withdrawal plays out.

Attacking and provoking reactions is the first reaction.

When narcissists find themselves in this melancholy, exhausted state, they usually do one of two things to get out of it.

They begin by attacking and injuring others. Rageful, vengeful outbursts are examples of this type of behavior.

  • Insults.
  • Ignorance and treatment in silence
  • more subtle insults and covert sniping.
  • Gaslighting is when someone tries to invert and flip reality by stating something didn’t happen when it actually did, or vice versa.
  • Projection is when someone accuses you of doing things that they themselves are doing. Cheating, lying, and stealing are just a few examples.
  • At every opportunity, they suddenly criticize your looks, competence, or opinions. They’re attempting to instill self-doubt and uncertainty in you.
  • They might start smear campaigns against you in social or professional settings, spreading lies and false stories about you and portraying you as insane or a problem.
  • In the workplace, they will frequently begin criticizing you and eroding your self-confidence.
  • attempting to embarrass and discredit you in front of others on purpose.
  • They alternate between being kind and being insulting and rude in a mean-sweet pattern of abuse.
  • He or she may begin openly flirting with and cheating on other people in romantic relationships.Cheating would be more prevalent if sexual attention was their primary source of supply. They’ll simply go on to the next person.
  • If they aren’t blatantly cheating, they will begin to compare you negatively to other people in conversation in order to instill self-doubt and insecurity in you.
  • If you’re in a relationship with them, you’ll notice an increase in drama and tension. Your anxiety, aggravation, and rumination will start to rise, which is exactly what they want.

The goal of all of these strategies is to elicit a negative emotion from you, to make you angry. If narcissists are unable to obtain supply through the primary pathway (admiration/adoration/attention, for example), they will inflate themselves by making others feel awful. They feel “full” again when they make other individuals feel “down.”

Normal people can see the narcissist’s warped, inverted worldview (and the Cluster B personalities in general) at this point.

What kind of person thrives on upsetting and generating negative emotional responses in others? However, narcissists do, because they are supply junkies who will go to any length to maintain their false self-image, even if it means harming others if they can’t obtain their supply the traditional way.

The victim may be completely unaware that they have offended the narcissist. Simply expressing something incorrectly or not doing something that was feeding them supply while you were unaware of it can cause them to have a toxic reaction.

Many victims then make the mistake of anxiously attempting to rekindle their feelings, which is a horrible idea because it puts you under their control and frequently fails. If you suspect you’re dealing with a narcissist, you should leave as soon as possible.

Do not be taken in if a narcissist uses these juvenile antics to re-inflate themselves. They want you to engage so that they can increase your irritation and annoyance. There is no way to persuade or persuade these folks to change. Drop them like a hot potato and move on.

Discard is the second reaction.

If the narcissist loses their source of supply, another common outcome is that the person is simply discarded because they are no longer useful to the narcissist. They simply saw the other person as an item to be utilized for their own purposes, not as a living being. It pains victims when the truth of this smacks them in the face.

Another common source of this is when someone (rightly) begins to notice some of the narcissist’s destructive conduct for what it is and calls them out on it, no longer willing to support their false self-image of perfection.

The narcissist will be offended because it shatters their grandiose, fictitious vision of themselves, in which they are faultless and can do no wrong, and you may be discarded as a result, because you are no longer supporting their fragile ego by never disagreeing with them or calling them out.

Here are a few examples of how the discard can occur:

Without giving an explanation or an excuse, the toxic person may simply cut off all communication with the victim. designed to inflict maximum sorrow by leaving victims with no answers and the impression that the relationship was incomplete.

May abruptly end a discussion or message with a nasty, dismissive, or chilly remark.

To add salt to injury, they may cheat openly without even attempting to hide it, then blame you for their infidelity.

They will frequently wave new partners, friends, and coworkers in your face, either in person or on social media, in an attempt to portray how much fun they are having with these new people now that they have ditched you and are starting the cycle over with someone else. It’s all a game of the mind.

This can also happen if they find a better source of supply from someone else, rather than because you’ve withheld their supply. Given that their entire attitude is based on obtaining this supply rather than valuing people as individuals, they’ll have no difficulty ditching you cold and suddenly if they believe they’ve discovered a better and/or more reliable source of supply.

You may not have done anything wrong, but they’re junkies looking for a fix, and they’ll go wherever they think they can get it the quickest, regardless of who they damage in the process.

As a result, narcissists are notorious for their brutal, unexpected, and unexplainable discards. The victim is frequently left with a terrible sense of unresolved questions and inconclusiveness, but happily, there is now a large body of recovery literature that helps individuals realize how the narcissistic personality’s fundamentally flawed nature, not them, is what causes this.

Hoovering should be avoided at all costs (Chasing Old Sources of Supply).

This is something that anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist but has successfully gotten rid of them should be aware of.

In some circumstances, they may return months or years later to try to reignite the relationship they had with you. It can be perplexing for some people when they approach you again, absolutely out of the blue, but once you grasp the narcissistic supply model, it’s actually quite predictable.

Here are some possible outcomes:

  • They’ll randomly contact you on social media, via text, email, or some other method. This is why it’s critical to avoid making contact in order to prevent them from doing so.
  • If this is what initially drew you in, they’ll return to the supposedly innocent, nice, and caring picture.
  • They may offer ostensibly earnest apologies for the harm they have caused you.
  • There will be assurances that cheating, gaslighting, projection, and lying will not occur again.
  • If you’ve been attempting to get them to go to therapy because of their poisonous conduct, if you accept them back, they’ll swear to get help.
  • They’ll grasp onto any additional adjustments in their behavior that you wanted them to make the first time but they didn’t, and pledge to do them now, or claim they’re “growing/changing/evolving/self-aware” now when they haven’t changed at all.
  • They’ll say, “I’ll be the person you always wanted me to be,” in an attempt to entice you back in.

According to the supply model, there are two key reasons they’re doing this: They’re re-idalizing their former source of supply, which they acquired from you. They enjoyed something about it, and they’d like to see if they can obtain it again.

Their existing source of supplies from the individuals in their immediate vicinity is depleted or non-existent. Maybe someone else saw right through their BS and dumped them, and now they’re back on the hunt for a fix.

A mixture of the two factors mentioned above.

If you return them, they’ll maintain these apparent adjustments for a while before abandoning them and reverting to their old, abusive ways. As a result, it should go without saying that any attempt to reconnect with you should be disregarded or rejected. They aren’t concerned with individuals; they are concerned with the supply that comes with people. Drop them like a hot potato and move on.

Narcissistic Supply Examples

narcissistic supply examples

Narcissistic Supply Examples. The narcissist’s desires extend beyond romantic relationships. You may encounter a narcissist in your family, as a friend, at work, or in other social situations. In any event, a narcissist will use anyone to improve his or her self-esteem and sense of self-worth, even if it harms those closest to him or her. The following are Narcissistic Supply Examples

Providing for a narcissistic mother: Many narcissistic mothers rely on their children, particularly their daughters, to provide them with the attention and adoration they require. This relationship may work well in the early years, but as the youngster grows into an adolescent wanting independence, it may become stressful.

Providing for a narcissistic father: Different sorts of attention and normalcy may be required by narcissistic fathers. They may be more interested in gaining public recognition and having their children achieve amazing things that they may claim credit for.

Providing for a narcissistic boss: A narcissistic boss may feel compelled to believe that they are always correct, always clever, and always the only person who can handle a problem at work. This leaves little room for others to succeed and achieve success.

Providing for a narcissistic child: Teenagers may have a developmentally normal level of narcissism, but being their parent will be difficult if the adult child has a diagnosable illness. They will expect the parent’s time, attention, and desire to act and appear in a certain way at all times.

Narcissistic Supply Reddit

narcissistic supply reddit

Narcissistic Supply Reddit. Why does the concept of ‘narcissistic supply‘ fit the NP’s behavior so well?

For those unfamiliar with narcissistic supply, it is the attention and affirmation that a narcissist seeks and extracts from others. From seemingly useless manipulations to the dreaded guilt trips, passive hostile remarks that seem pleasant but are actually nasty, and micromanaging controlling conduct that robs you of your autonomy while masquerading as ‘assistance,’

Abuse and psychological murder are frequent NP behaviors, and these people are notorious for their refusal to change. In most cases, complete separation (NC) may be the best option.

Understanding the dynamics of WHY you’re being mistreated, on the other hand, is liberating. It aids in regaining my sense of control as well as restoring some self-esteem. After any abusive or exploitive occurrence, I prefer to figure out exactly what happened, which is a far less maladaptive coping mechanism than consuming drugs and committing crimes, which I used to do.

According to narcissist literature, the N has such low self-esteem that he or she creates a false, ideal self in their heads. They ignore their conscience and emotions in order to continuously validate this false image through narcissistic feeding.

This might be as simple as them sucking your attention, dominating you, or exploiting you in any way they see fit. Soon, there will be examples. Getting a narcissistic supply to the N is almost the same as being a drug addict looking for a high. To acquire this attention, the N will manipulate and abuse uncontrollably, stopping only when they’ve had enough.

When they’ve effectively persuaded their psyche that their fragile genuine self isn’t real because the phony self has attracted attention,

Ok So you’re probably wondering how this relates to your NP.

Narcissistic Supply Reddit. My NP happens to be a hidden narcissist, thus one of her favorite tactics is the well-known guilt trip! Whether it’s a stray piece of cotton from a dog toy that I haven’t cleaned, or my having the audacity to go to the shop without offering to get her something, she will try to make me feel bad about it, ultimately reducing my self-esteem over time.

I used to believe that everything I did was incorrect. I was an awkward youngster as a result of that. The NP wants to be all-pervasive in your life, never allowing you to feel free or autonomous; it’s essentially compulsion.

So, how does the guilt trip help my NP get the supplies she needs? I feel bad>become emotionally vulnerable/she appears to be a victim> I feel obligated to comply with her desires and do what she says, no matter how absurd it is. She may now fish for praises, have more power over my life, and so forth. The guilt trip is nothing more than a ruse.

In order to appear responsible for their children’s accomplishments, many NPs micromanage them and deny them any personal independence. They obviously are not about the kids’ happiness, only how much their behaviors will confirm the image they wish to present.

I could go on for 1000 years discussing this, but I don’t want this to become a novel. Any debates, conversations, queries, and so on are quite welcome since, like many of you, I feel fulfillment in being able to mentally explain my NP’s conduct. Breaking through the abuse’s perplexity is, in my opinion, a critical first step toward recovery.

Narcissistic Supply Relationships

narcissistic supply relationships

Narcissistic Supply Relationships. Narcissists are always on the lookout for narcissistic supplies. They are unconcerned about the passage of time and are unaffected by behavioral consistency, “rules” of action, or moral considerations. If you show the narcissist that you are a willing supply, he will try everything he can to get your narcissistic supply from you.

This is a natural reaction. Because all sources were identical to him, the narcissist would have reacted the same way to any other source.

Some sources of supply are ideal (from the narcissist’s perspective): sufficiently intelligent, sufficiently gullible, submissive, reasonably (but not excessively) inferior to the narcissist, possessing a good memory (with which to regulate the flow of narcissistic supply), available but not imposing, not explicitly or overtly manipulative, undemanding, attractive (if the narcissist is somatic). In a nutshell, it’s a Galathea-Pygmallion.

But then it’s over, often quickly and strangely. The narcissist is distant, cold, and indifferent.

One of the reasons, as Groucho Marx put it, is that the narcissist dislikes joining clubs that would accept him.The narcissist devalues his sources of supply because of the attributes that made them sources in the first place: their gullibility, submissiveness, and inadequacy (intellectual or physical).

However, there are numerous other explanations. The narcissist, for example, resents his dependence. He understands that he is hopelessly and helplessly addicted to narcissistic supply and that he is enslaved by its sources. He alleviates the dissonance by discounting the sources of said supply (his spouse, his employer, his colleague, and his buddy).

Narcissistic Supply Relationships. Furthermore, the narcissist views closeness and sex as a danger to his singularity. Sex and closeness are necessary for everyone; it is the great equalizer. This commonality irritates the narcissist. He resists by attacking the sources of his irritation and “enslavement”—his narcissistic supply sources.

In most cases, sex and intimacy are linked to unresolved historical conflicts with major primary objects (parents or caregivers). The narcissist facilitates transference and the initiation of approach-avoidance cycles by repeatedly citing these tensions. When it comes to his relationships, he’s all over the place.

Furthermore, narcissists grow tired of their sources. They get tired of it. This is not governed by any mathematical formula. It is dependent on a number of factors. The connection usually lasts until either the narcissist “gets acclimated” to the source and its stimulating benefits wear off, or until a better source of supply becomes available.

Narcissistic Supply Mother

narcissistic supply mother

Narcissistic Supply Mother. The continual attention that narcissists require is known as narcissistic supply. They feed off this attention. It’s their go-to drug, and I don’t mean that as a metaphor; they actually require and crave it. And guess who’s the lucky provider of that attention? You, of course! (Well, anyone would do that, but you’re there and available, plus you’ve been groomed for the position since birth.)

By giving a narcissist attention, you’re feeding their narcissistic supply. It’s a continuing task as their narcissistic supply tanks need constant replenishment.

It’s also a thankless task, but one that you’ll find difficult to escape if you’re given the assignment (at least until you free yourself using the information and resources on this site and others). Being the daughter of a narcissistic mother, of course, means that your duty in life is to provide this narcissistic supply.

Love, support, and stability are all things that children look to their parents for. If a parent ignores their child’s emotional needs, it can have a negative impact on his or her development.

A woman who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder is unable to provide appropriate care and nurture for her children. As a result of their arrogance, they frequently mistreat their children. A narcissistic mother may also use her children as props or gadgets to suit her own demands.

NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is a complicated disorder. For anyone who fears their parents may have a narcissistic personality disorder, knowing the signs of a narcissistic parent is critical.

Although narcissistic abuse can be subtle, many children grow up feeling that the toxic environment in their home is absolutely normal. They frequently blame themselves for their misery.

The following are seven telltale symptoms that your mother is a narcissist:

  1. She Isn’t Respectful of Your Limits

Parents respect their children’s boundaries in a healthy relationship. Even though parents don’t always agree with their children’s choices, they recognize that they can’t always control what they do. This is a problem for those with NPD.

Narcissistic mothers have an extreme desire for power and control, and they will frequently step over someone’s boundaries to achieve their goals. After showing up at your house unannounced (after you’ve made it plain that you want her to call you in advance before visiting), a mother with NPD can claim she was “just in the neighborhood and trying to be pleasant.”

  1. She Isn’t Empathetic (or Seems to Turn Empathy On and Off)

When their child is in distress, most parents experience excruciating pain. As a result, they make an effort to understand their child’s likes, dislikes, and particular requirements. When parents are out of touch with their children, they typically feel guilty or ashamed.

In narcissistic relationships, this dynamic takes on a different form. Children of parents with NPD are more likely to report that their parents lack empathy and are uninterested in their emotional needs, according to research. 1. They also express a sense of “invisibility,” as if their mother lacks the time or energy to fully notice or comprehend them.

  1. She appears to be in competition with you.The majority of parents want the best for their children. Indeed, it is a widely held belief that parents want their children to enjoy a better life than they had.

However, narcissistic mothers frequently compete with their children, especially females. They may be resentful of their youth, attractiveness, and success, and as a result, they may condemn their children as being “too conceited,” “dumb,” or “selfish.” They could even attempt to sabotage them in some way.

  1. She Deceives You.

Gaslighting is a broad term that refers to a type of psychological assault aimed at making another person believe they are insane.

Gaslighting can manifest itself in a variety of ways, including:

  • Being told you’re theatrical or overreacting because you have a sensation
  • Lying about one’s actions (even when confronted)
  • trying to persuade you that it was all in your head.
  • They’re trying to persuade you that you’re misinterpreting or forgetting details.
  • Attempting to alter your feelings (“You should be grateful!”)
  1. She is only nice to you in public.

A narcissistic mother can appear to be two different people at the same time. They may be nasty, dismissive, or largely distant when no one is looking.

When she’s out in public, though, they might be praising you, talking about your achievements, or acting affectionately toward you. Unfortunately, this rarely stems from real care for your needs. Instead, their efforts are frequently motivated by a desire to maintain the appearance of being a perfect parent.

  1. She Frequently Assumes the Victim Role

Narcissism is linked to a sense of being one-of-a-kind and distinct from others. As a result, a narcissistic mother may try to use the situation in order to gain sympathy and attention.

She might, for example, frequently express her dissatisfaction with being singled out or misunderstood. If anything bad happens, she might act as if she enjoys the drama it always brings.

  1. She is a shrewd businesswoman who takes advantage of others.

People with narcissism frequently shun personal responsibility and rely on others to meet their demands. Furthermore, they frequently break societal conventions in order to conform to their preconceived beliefs about how things should work.

As a result, a narcissistic mother may constantly try to “bargain” or “pull a fast one” on someone. They frequently choose friends based on what they can potentially offer rather than how they feel about those friendships.

What to Do If Your Mother Is Narcissistic

Narcissistic Supply Mother. Dealing with narcissism is unquestionably difficult. When it comes to your own mother, though, dealing with narcissism can feel insurmountable.

While you may never have the perfect relationship, you can take precautions to safeguard your health and meet your unique requirements. You have no influence over your mother’s conduct, but you can take care of yourself.

  1. Become knowledgeable about narcissism.

Narcissism is a perplexing subject, and new research suggests that there are likely multiple varieties of narcissism.

Learning more about this disease will help you see your mother’s conduct from a different perspective.

  1. Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life.

If your narcissistic mother regularly belittled, ridiculed, or condemned you, it’s likely that your self-esteem suffered as a result. You may have grown up feeling that you were the source of the problem. That is not the case; children deserve to be loved, respected, and cared for. Remember that NPD is a mental condition, and you are not to blame for your mother’s behavior.

  1. Firmly establish boundaries.

Unfortunately, you’re undoubtedly aware that your mother struggles with setting boundaries. You may find it difficult to locate or set them since you don’t want to cause a blowout.

Boundaries, on the other hand, are only as effective as your willingness to enforce them. Consider your limitations, recognize and own them, and articulate them clearly and definitely. 4,

  1. Grey rocking should be done.

To escape narcissistic abuse, many people adopt the “grey rock method.” If you need to keep in touch with your mother but want to avoid arguments or heightened emotions, this strategy may be useful.

The gray rock strategy entails distancing yourself from the other person. You go out of your way to appear uninterested, bored, or unresponsive. Instead of selecting arguments, you might react with one-word answers and disregard them. Your mother will grow frustrated with time, but she may also look for other ways to create drama.

  1. Look for help.

Seek out people who will understand and validate your concerns and problems. Make it a point to be around people who care about you and want the best for you.

  1. Stop Attempting to Influence Her.

Personality disorders are notoriously difficult to treat, and changing a narcissist is especially difficult.

Treatment frequently necessitates some level of motivation, openness, and desire to improve. Trying to reform your mother, who may not even realize she has a problem, frequently results in more manipulation and abuse.

Rather, try to concentrate on acceptance. This is your mother’s number. You can’t alter the past, but you can focus on how you want to take care of yourself today and move forward.

  1. Consider the option of no-contact.

In some circumstances, a no-contact approach may be the best solution. No contact is exactly what it sounds like-you eliminate all forms of communication with your mother. If nothing else has worked, or if you simply want to quit the relationship, this technique may be the best option.

Narcissistic Supply Parent

narcissistic supply parent

Narcissistic Supply Parent. A parent who suffers from narcissism or a narcissistic personality disorder is known as a narcissistic parent. Typically, narcissistic parents are solely and possessively connected to their children, and their children’s growing independence is a threat to them.

This leads to a narcissistic attachment pattern in which the parent believes the child exists simply to meet the parent’s needs and desires. A narcissistic parent will frequently use threats and emotional abuse to exert control over their children.

Narcissistic Supply Parent. Children’s psychological development is harmed by narcissistic parenting, which impacts their reasoning as well as their emotional, ethical, and societal behaviors and attitudes. Personal boundaries are frequently ignored in order to mold and manipulate the child to meet the parent’s expectations.

Narcissistic people have low self-esteem and feel compelled to exert control over how others perceive them, thinking that if they don’t, they will be criticized or rejected, exposing their personal flaws. Parents that are narcissistic are generally self-absorbed to the point of grandiosity. They are also inflexible and lack the empathy needed to raise children.

Children are particularly vulnerable to the effects of a narcissistic parent’s behavior because of their sensitivity. A narcissistic parent would frequently abuse the traditional parental role of directing and deciding on their children’s lives, becoming too possessive and controlling.

The child is disempowered by the parent’s possessiveness and overbearing control; the child is essentially an extension of the parent.

This may have an impact on the child’s creativity and level of interest, and they are more likely to adopt an extrinsic motivational approach. This increased amount of control could be due to the narcissistic parent’s desire to keep the youngster dependent on them.

Parents who are narcissistic are prone to rage, putting their children at risk of physical and emotional harm. Children of abusive parents frequently comply with their parents’ every demand to avoid anger and punishment.

This has an impact on the child’s well-being as well as their ability to make rational decisions on their own, and they often lack self-confidence and the ability to take control of their lives as adults. Children raised by a narcissistic parent frequently experience identity crises, loneliness, and difficulty expressing themselves.

The effort to discover oneself as an adult derives from a significant amount of projective identification experienced as a youngster by the now adult. As a result, the youngster may never get the opportunity to experience their own identity as a result of overwhelming identification with the parent.

Narcissistic Supply Friend

narcissistic supply friend

Narcissistic Supply Friend. What are narcissists’ attitudes toward their friends? They treat everyone else the same way—not well. Narcissists aren’t aware of their personality qualities. You’ll discover that the relationship is quite one-sided in the sense that it’s all about them.

Even though the narcissist tries to appear concerned about their friends’ feelings, their actions reveal that their wants and needs are their only concern.

If you’re reading this, you’ve undoubtedly noticed some warning signals and have begun to wonder whether narcissists can have friends. Is it possible for narcissists to have sincere friends? The answer can be found in how they treat their closest associates.

Is It True That Narcissists Have Friends?

Narcissistic Supply Friend. However, narcissists are unable to have true friends due to their illness. Narcissists lack empathy, and while they may sit and listen to a friend’s difficulties, they will swiftly turn the topic around to focus on themselves.

The narcissist will start talking about how they experienced a similar problem but it was much worse, even if it means lying. The other person quickly fades into the background as the narcissist brazenly dominates the conversation with tales of their exciting life.

Because they don’t understand themselves well enough to do so, narcissists despise the concept of vulnerability and will never open up to a buddy. Second, narcissism is all about putting on a show; in the narcissist’s world, there are no difficulties.

A narcissist has no concept of selflessness; everything revolves around them. Even if a friend called and asked for a favor that they were more than capable of doing, the reaction would be a firm “No,” followed by a lengthy explanation as to why.

Narcissist Supply Conclusion

Narcissistic supply conclusion

Narcissist Supply Conclusion. Narcissistic supply refers to attention-seeking behavior, whether good or bad. The narcissist’s need for, and even demand for, infinite special treatment, adoration, importance, or affirmation to fuel their feelings of entitlement and self-centeredness is known as narcissistic supply. Narcissists use narcissistic supplies to cope with the world and make it a space where they can thrive.

Narcissist Supply Conclusion. Attention, acclaim, and affirmation are not inherently egotistical. We all want to be heard and belong, but narcissists are continually seeking this attention. They will purposefully seek out or create situations in which they are the focus of attention on a daily basis. Narcissists are never content, and no amount of attention will ever be enough for them.

Narcissists are on the lookout for those who are easily seduced by their charm and are vulnerable to their manipulation and abuse. After receiving the narssistic supply, the narcissist will quickly feel depleted or empty, always in need of more. It’s like attempting to fill a bottomless pit when it comes to narcissistic supply, and if you don’t give it to them, they’ll react with narcissistic anger.

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