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Narcissistic Victim Syndrome freeze response

Narcissistic Victim Syndrome freeze response

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People deal with traumas and abuse differently. You might be one of those who confront your abusive partner or might be one of those who try to escape the situation, a classic fight or flight response. If any of these methods do not work, you feel like you don’t have the power to use them anymore; that’s when you respond by freezing.

Narcissistic Victim Syndrome freeze response is one of the main signs of narcissistic victim syndrome. This happens when you feel helpless. It usually involves dissociation as keeping yourself emotionally distant from abuse can decrease its intensity. In certain situations, it is helpful, but sometimes it is not that helpful when you actually can escape from the situation. That is when it becomes necessary to seek professional support.

This article is all about Narcissistic victim syndrome, freeze response, what some treatment options are, and how you can overcome this. So let’s get started:

Narcissistic victim syndrome

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Narcissistic victim syndrome is a condition that develops when a person spends a significant amount of time with a narcissist. Condition is severe when a person has been in a romantic relationship with a narcissist.

People who are dealing with Narcissistic victim syndrome have self-doubt, and they think that they are not worthy of love. They are concerned about their failures, flaws, and other issues, whether they are real or not.

Narcissistic Victim Syndrome Symptoms

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A narcissistic victim syndrome is an extremely complicated mental health state that makes you emotionally damaged without even letting you know about it. You find yourself responsible for every bad thing that happens around you or your narcissistic abusive partner. People who are narcissistic abusers use you (being a narcissistic victim) to mask their abusive behavior.

You get emotionally manipulated by them as they can easily control you and gaslight you whenever they want to. But sometimes, it gets very difficult for you to tell if you have narcissistic victim syndrome or not. So, to confirm and evaluate your mental condition, you should go through the signs and symptoms of narcissistic victim syndrome.

The following is the roundup of the most common narcissistic victim syndrome symptoms:

Careful to Not Offend Others

If someone is ever in a relationship with a narcissist, then they get used by them as their emotional punching bag. A narcissistic abuser makes you second-guess your reality. They have the authority to control you, due to which they can easily blame you for their wrong actions. Being a narcissistic victim, you always find yourself walking on eggshells. This means that you try your best not to make your partner (narcissistic abuser) upset and angry.

Low Self-Esteem and Feeling Unwanted

Narcissists never take accountability of their destructive actions; instead of that, they always try to heap the blame for everything on you. They are the master of these tactics. They always gaslight you by manipulating you in such a way that you start questioning your sanity. Your self-esteem directly gets hit by them, and you lose all of your confidence and belief in yourself.

Self-Destruction and Blaming Yourself

Being a narcissistic victim, you get insulted by your narcissistic partner. They constantly shame you by comparing you to others. This kind of verbal abuse slowly leads you to self-destruction. You start mistrusting yourself and questioning your ability of decision-making. You crave self-isolation because of your insecurities. As a narcissist knows very well how to play a victim card, so you blame yourself and believe that they are always right.

You Feel Grateful to Your Abusers

As your emotional abuser makes you believe that their every opinion about you is right, and they are doing you a favor by tolerating you, so you feel grateful to them for always standing by your side. This is also one of the narcissistic victim syndrome symptoms.

Narcissistic victim syndrome test

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There are plenty of narcissistic victim syndrome tests available online that can help you understand if you have this syndrome or not. You will be asked a few questions, and you have to choose the most relatable option. But keep in mind that these tests are not 100% accurate. You just can have an idea; only a professional mental health service provider can decide if you have this syndrome or not. GET PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE

Here is an example of Narcissistic victim syndrome test questions. Questions in this test have the following options, never, rarely, sometimes, often, very often; you have to choose one that you find suitable. Here these questions are:

  • Living in fear of another person for an extended time
  • Things you need like money, food, hygiene items, etc. kept from you or controlled by someone else.
  • Experienced being stalked
  • Loss of interest in things that you used to enjoy
  • The need to avoid thoughts, people, or situations that remind you of a difficult experience
  • Repeated disturbing thoughts, memories, dreams, or images of a stressful experience in the past
  • Suddenly acting or feeling as if a stressful experience were happening again (as if you were reliving it)
  • Being pressured into sexual activities
  • Being stalked
  • Struggling with an addiction (food, sex, alcohol, shopping, drugs, etc.)
  • Difficulty doing things that you need to do
  • Difficulty concentrating or sleeping
  • Difficulty remembering things
  • Feeling stuck on autopilot or just going through the motions it takes to stay alive.
  • Feeling that things are your fault
  • Feeling humiliated or ashamed by an individual or a group
  • Feeling detached from people and things around you
  • Feelings very upset or having physical reactions (e.g., heart pounding, trouble breathing, or sweating) when something reminded you of a stressful experience from the past.
  • Feeling jumpy, irritable, or easily startled
  • Feeling ongoing anger, fear, or guilt

Narcissistic Victim Syndrome Treatment

This narcissistic victim syndrome term is collectively used for emotional, mental instability. This syndrome sometimes takes you to the peak of self-destruction, where you feel completely helpless and emotionally numb. You even experience suicidal thoughts.

The only way to get yourself out of this toxic situation is to be aware of the reality.

Start knowing your worth. Don’t let your abusive and narcissistic partner allow you to remain in this condition. They try their best to take control of you by playing victim cards. They try to manipulate you by using false love tactics. But you have to take a stand for yourself to get rid of this toxic relationship.

If you remain in such a relationship and silently tolerate their behavior, then this can cause severe damage to your mental as well as physical health. The more you let yourself absorb their toxicity, the more damage it will cause to your health. That’s why it’s necessary to get whatever narcissistic victim syndrome treatment or therapy helps you get rid of this traumatic condition.

Start Journaling

The first and the easiest way to help yourself through a traumatic relationship is to journal your thoughts. Write all the things and toxic situations you have been through to make yourself realize the dominant nature of your abuser. Reach out for any kind of assistance that you might think will be helpful for you. See a professional mental health counselor.

End Your Relationship with a Narcissistic Partner

Once you realize that you have been emotionally abused and mentally tortured by your narcissistic partner, take no time and leave them. If you stay in the relationship, you can neither make yourself happy nor your partner no matter what. Be strong and take a stand for yourself. Remind yourself that you’re worthy of more love and care. You deserve someone who unconditionally loves you and respects you.

Try Grey Rock Method

If you both have children together, too, then never leave your children with your cruel, narcissistic partner. Take them away with you from your merciless partner. Try to tell your children about the whole situation and prepare them for everything in advance. You can’t completely cut ties with him as, after all, he’s the father of your children.

So keep a very limited contact with him. Don’t tell him details about you and your children. Don’t let yourself or your children get indulged in long talks with him. As it can give him a chance to emotionally manipulate you again.

Get to Know Yourself Through Healthy Self-Talks

To overcome the brutal acts of a narcissistic partner, you have to accept what you have been through. You have to break the bubble of self-isolation and self-sabotage. Only then will you be able to clearly see every wrongdoing of your partner. Seek closure through education. Do the research and learn the dynamics and beautiful patterns of life. There’s much more out there in the world than staying in a toxic relationship with a narcissist and tolerating their narcissistic abuse.

Get the Help of a Skilled Therapist

You can only regain control of your feelings and emotions in your hand once you start realizing that you have suffered a lot of physical and mental abuse. Go to a skilled therapist and talk to them with complete honesty. They will help you using professional mental strategies to make you feel better again. They will also help you to understand your emotions and increase your self-esteem. In this way, you feel assertive and happy. DO A RELATIONSHIP COURSE

Understand that education is power. You can’t take a stand for anything if you don’t have adequate knowledge about it. Learn the narcissistic behavior and accept the fact that they are the problem, not you. The more you realize the truth, the more you will be able to take yourself out of their spell.

Make Healthy Boundaries

When you start realizing your worth, you find it pretty hard to stay around people who don’t value you. Don’t let anyone mistreat or disrespect you. Know that you deserve all the happiness in the world, and you have the equal right to stay happy as others. Make healthy boundaries and learn when to say “NO.” There’s no shame in saying no to something that brings you no joy. Building a boundary also helps people around you to understand that you are not their punching bag anymore.

When you keep a boundary, it helps people around you understand that you don’t need their affirmation or repeated reassurance. You are not looking for their advice and feedback. Show your narcissistic partner that you have no tolerance to listen to them when you are not in the mood. Make it clear to them that you can’t take their insulting behavior just to please them.

Look for your Support System

When you can’t differentiate between what’s right and what’s wrong, then family and friends are the ones who see us outside the situation. They bring out the best in you when you lose all the hope in yourself. Therefore, look for your support network and get their help. Talk to them about every insecurity and guilt you have been going through. They will surely help you to calm your distorted negative thoughts and get you out of the traumatic situation you’ve been in.

Forgive Yourself

Another very effective narcissistic victim syndrome treatment is to forgive yourself for being in a toxic relationship and tolerating abusive behavior. Forgive yourself for not standing up against the bad. Forgive yourself for trusting and loving the wrong person. In this way, it will become very easy for you to recover your identity and acknowledge your feelings. Forgiving yourself is the very first step towards self-discovery . It’s also extremely important to make a full recovery from the atrocity and grossness of your narcissistic partner.

Engage Yourself in Relaxation Therapies and Self-Care

When you practice self-care, you automatically feel good and happy. It boosts your self-confidence and also helps you to stay active and motivated. Go outside in nature. Take vitamin D from the sunlight. Direct exposure to sunlight also helps to elevate the level of happy hormones in your body. These hormones include serotonin and endorphin.

Besides this, regular exercise is also directly linked to enhancing the level of happy hormones in your body. Increased levels of dopamine also regulate your memory and learning. Endorphins are the natural painkillers of the human body. They also get regulated by exercise and this reduces the stress levels within the individual.

Practice Meditation

Meditation can help you to recover from the abusive and traumatic behavior of a narcissist. It also helps you in your healing journey. It helps you to think more clearly and setting healthy boundaries to avoid abuse. To channel your negative thoughts and emotions, mediation plays a key role.

It provides you clarity and helps you work through the traumas and torment of your narcissistic abusive partner.


It’s a relaxation therapy to let your anger out in the form of talk. In a face-to-face session, your therapist will help you to work through your feelings and emotions. It will help you to better understand the brutality of your narcissistic partner. By sharing your thoughts and emotions through talking them out, you can change the way you respond to them.BOOK A SESSION NOW CLICK HERE

So, by practicing above all methods, you can get treated for the damage of a narcissistic abuser and can return to your normal state of mind.

Narcissistic Victim Syndrome Survivors

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You might know about some real Narcissistic Victim Syndrome Survivors stories. Don’t worry, I have got you covered. Here are some experiences and suggestions by Narcissistic Victim Syndrome Survivors available on Reddit:

  • “I realized when I started questioning my versions of events. When I started questioning my sanity. After you are mistreated five, six, seven times, you begin to notice the pattern. Whether or not you want to recognize it is a different matter. It took me four years to finally get completely away from my narcissistic sociopathic abuser. They. Don’t. Change. Edit: mistreated”
  • “The fact that we all had to “google” what the fuck the deal was with the person we fell in love with speaks volumes! Narc abuse is the worst because it is not seen or felt by anyone but the victim. No one taught us that there were such evil, twisted, ugly folks in this world who don’t abuse our physical self on the outside but slowly kill us from our soul inside and throughout! Our support system has all been diminished, as we gave ourselves fully to the Narc, planning on our future. Meanwhile, their intentions weren’t real; they meant to destroy our happiness. Every friend and family member accuses us of being “too deep,” “too sensitive,” and that we expected too much, but WE KNOW WHAT WENT ON, WE LIVED THE DECEITFUL BULLSHIT STORY. While the cunning Narc charmed the crap outta everyone who knows us!”
  • “My parents are narcs, and I found out through reading a book about an abusive family and realizing I recognized all the behaviors I saw. Then I talked to my therapist about it, who confirmed my suspicions. It’s a process like peeling layers off an onion; 10 years in, I am still finding new things about my life that turn out to be very different than I thought.”
  • “I felt like I was losing my mind. It FELT like it literally. Like a fog. I told him right then he was gaslighting me. I then said I am not his mother, and he doesn’t have to punish me for what she did. He then proceeded to pack his shit and leave. Haven’t heard from him since. Upside: it was fun to call out gaslighting as it was happening. also, I am fascinated by Psychology, so though it hurt, it was like a science experiment. and I am free from abuse now!”
  • “I remember once I told her I felt numb and suicidal from the invalidation and emotional abuse from her; she said, “you know what you should do, go kill yourself.” When I put the knife on my neck, she was just staring as if she wanted to see some blood. I put the knife down, and she told me she knew I couldn’t do it. When I confronted her days later, she told me, “I’ve never said that; it was you who put the knife on your neck. Don’t put it on me”.”
  • “Unfortunately, my therapist is guiding me to understand my PTNA from my ex. I still carry so much guilt for the person I became in that relationship. It, sadly, has been an eminence struggle to move on while preventing it from ruining the surprising relationship I happened to find when 100% not looking to date. For everyone grappling with this, please stay strong, and I can not stress enough to get professional help to lead you out. There is light at the end of the tunnel.”
  • “I think the abuse that a narc brings can drive a sane person crazy. After living for a monster for three years myself, I can safely say that I developed depression, suicidal thoughts and started to worry about my sanity. All because of his abuse, isolation, and war tactics.”
  • “I’d be prone to saying yes. I myself was left with a lot of mental health symptoms that mimic a certain disorder, but the more and more I go through the healing process, the less and less these symptoms appear. Now I do possibly, according to my therapist, have PTSD and general anxiety disorder, possibly as a side effect of that 16 years Hell. There was physical abuse toward the end, and I sometimes have flashbacks.”
  • “Combine the victim mentality with constant crying, self-pity, anger and frustration, and low self-esteem: you have a relationship where you can never bring anything up with them for improvement. They’ll just play the victim and never change. It can get so tiring. Almost like being with a small child.”
  • “This is so accurate. I’ve always been baffled, bearing on impressed by their ability to make every situation about them being a victim. It took me a long time to realize that simply saying phrases like “I own my shit” and “I’ll hold my hands up if I’ve done something wrong” 20x a day doesn’t actually equate to doing those things. Another thing I’ve noticed they do is at the beginning; they’ll take responsibility for small insignificant things, so you grow to believe they are someone who holds themselves accountable. Then later on, when they insist they’ve done nothing wrong, you believe them because you think if they had, they’d take responsibility.”


Relationships are not easy, but that does not mean they have to be toxic. Unfortunately, a relationship with a narcissist is always abusive and toxic. The worst thing is you don’t even know at the start that your partner is a narcissist; things become obvious when time passes, but by that time, you are fully trapped. Narcissistic victim syndrome attacks you, and it takes a really long time to recover from it. But you should never lose hope as with the support of your loved one and help from a professional; you can deal with it. No doubt it will take some time, but things will get better.

So this was all about Narcissistic victim syndrome. I have tried my best to share some useful information with you; I hope  you will find it helpful. BOOK A SESSION NOW.

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