Switch Currency:

  • Relationship Coaching London
  • Relationship Coaching London
    Generic selectors
    Exact matches only
    Search in title
    Search in content
    Post Type Selectors



Very often magazines and books create a pretty image of things that can be really dangerous. For instance, we are mostly fascinated with stories about complicated relationships or one-sided love stories, we believe that strong emotions are connected with pain. Moreover, some people find bad guys with stupid jokes very charming and people think that a woman’s best life revolves around getting married and getting pregnant.

Some things may seem harmless but are actually not. But psychologists suggest that if we change our behavior towards these things our lives can get better.

This article is all about romanticizing. You will learn about, what does it mean to romanticize something? How romanticizing mental health issues and pain can be problematic, how there are some other bad things that you need to stop romanticizing and how you can do this.

What does it mean to romanticize something?

What does it mean to romanticize something? Before moving forward, you must be familiar with the concept of “romanticizing.”

Romanticizing meaning

Here is romanticizing meaning:

  • Treat as idealized or heroic romanticize the past.
  • To hold romantic ideas.
  • To present details, incidents, or people romantically.

Romanticizing definition

Here is romanticizing definition for you:

Romanticizing meaning to talk about something in a way that makes it sound better than it is, or to believe that something is better than it is.”

Romanticizing mental illness

Mental health issues were stigmatized, and it is not that old yet. People were afraid to accept that they had some depression and anxiety. Now the world is changing, the shame associated with a mental health condition is turning the other way around, people are trying to own a mental health condition. But it seems like some people have gone too far.

A couple of years ago, no one would ever go to the doctor to discuss their mental health. If someone felt depressed or anxious, they would try to bury their negative emotions and move on with their daily life. It is excellent that these bad old days are disappearing with time. Ordinary people and medical professionals have a better understanding of the problems they are facing. This is fantastic news as seeking help quickly before anything goes to a  very bad stage is easier.

But a lot of people are now romanticizing depression. Having depression, anxiety, or any other condition seems desirable these days. If you see something like, “I feel as if I’m bothering people simply by being alive,” this is what it feels like romanticizing mental health illness.

Mental health issues are real. These issues can ruin your life, not only yours but will also affect your family. This generation of people now thinks that it is adorable to have panic attacks in public, and developing an eating disorder is cute. None of this is true; mental illness is actual “illness.” It can take your life. Additionally, it is also very difficult to accept something like mental health disorder when others think of it as something like a cute personality trait desirable.

Romanticizing depression

Why are people romanticizing depression? Young people are now glorifying mental health problems because complicated topics like these are trivialized. People love attention-seeking, and it is now what they want, even in the form of sympathy. Moreover, heroic stories like how someone recovered from depression and then become successful also play a part as people think that it is just one stop to success.

People think that having a mental health issue makes them different from the rest of the world. They feel special, and who does not want to feel special. Social media plays a huge role here, so teenagers think they need mental health illness to feel significant in the whole world.

Not only social media but television is also playing its role. Netflix season “13 reasons why” has caused controversy in past years. Especially first season gained both criticism and popularity. The show’s central characters killed themselves to take revenge on other classmates who used to cause her to suffer. This show is a terrible misrepresentation of suicide, which is rarely planned in real life methodically. Also, plenty of songs are made on depression, and these songs are so good that people would love to experience that.

Romanticizing pain

Romanticizing pain is just like romanticizing depression. You do not have to suffer a lot to have a better life. Sometimes we have to deal with pain because of unfortunate circumstances, but that does not mean it is essential in becoming better or successful.

Why romanticizing mental health issues and pain is a problem?

Romanticizing mental health illness can be very problematic, especially for easily impressionable youngsters. Images showing self-harm somehow encourage others to see mental issues as something tragic but adorable.

It also makes people with mental health illnesses believe that it is a part of their personality and doing something to treat it is pointless. Different memes are shared on the internet, calling out people for showing dismissive behavior towardsmental health issues. People give excuses for their behaviors and even scoff at the idea of getting help.

When people portray mental health issues as something extraordinary, they take away attention from real people struggling with these issues daily. People who are self-harming don’t get help because others see their problem as a trend. Doctors do not appropriately diagnose people who are depressed as they try to fit in. We can simply say that some people are in desperate need of help, but they are not getting it as others portray mental health issues as something insignificant.

Studies have shown that suicide is contagious; for instance, if there are stories regarding suicide on the news, the numbers of suicides increase. This is very upsetting to hear people need to recognize the seriousness of mental health issues.

How do I stop romanticizing everything?

How do I stop romanticizing everything? We romanticize specific ideas. Maybe you want to live in some other decade when everything was a bit simpler, and there was nothing like auto-tune. Perhaps you long for some passionate romance, the type of romance where there are fights and passionate reconciliations. Maybe you want some excitement and do not care where it comes from.

It can be very entertaining to escape reality and daydream from time to time; certain attitudes and lifestyles society presents as desirable and cool, which are more harmful than fascinating. We do not check ourselves  and what we are looking for, what we feel, and what we want, and this disconnect can damage our mental health.

When you are building your life, you need to think about what to fill it with, make sure that you are making fact-based decisions and are not romanticizing your reality.

Here are a few things that you need to stop romanticizing and how you can do this:

Toxic relationships

This “ride or die” thing is highly overrated. It is a term you might be familiar with used to romanticize toxic relationships. The whole idea about love being dramatic, dangerous, or painful is completely wrong and unhealthy. True love is comforting and calming. It feels like after a long tiring day, you came home to find comfort in a warm blanket. It does not seem fatal potentially, but it is really dangerous.

So, it would help if you stopped romanticizing a toxic relationship. Your partner is emotionally manipulative, lazy, destructive or a bank robber, get out of here. You deserve better than this, so look for that blanket you deserve.


Directors now make charming sociopaths lead characters of their shows and movies. You might remember the show “Sherlock” in which a detective is charming but imperfect at communication. Fans loved seeing him expressing his feelings when they were not expecting. But it is hard to connect with something like that in real life as they do not know what love, compassion, or love is. So, it would help if you stopped living in your dreams like that it can be emotionally damaging.

Mental health issues

There are a few politically incorrect things about mental health issues. A lot of things are needed to be addressed to clarify the concepts. You need to understand that you are not depressed just because people are not replying to your texts or getting enough likes. You are not bipolar just because a movie makes you feel sad and happy at the same time. Having stage fright is one thing, and it has nothing to do with anxiety disorder. These are some severe conditions. So do not try to exaggerate your situation or normalize it.

It would help if you did not let the internet tell you that you are not OK. Do not believe these online quizzes telling you otherwise. Experiencing depression is not cool at all; it does not make you special. Mental illness should not be trivialized at any cost.

If you feel like you have some problems, instead of scribbling on social media, seek professional help and get diagnosed. Talk to people who care about you, not your social media followers who do not show up. Talk to a therapist. GET SUPPORT NOW CLICK HERE BOOK A SESSION

Most importantly, do not label yourself as someone mentally ill as ifyou are not. Even if you are, you need to do something about it practically you need love and support not ridicule or judgement.

Fame and popularity

Because of a paranoid fear of seeming as though everybody’s grandparents were famous and rich, it appears that, while fame was once something individuals accomplished in the wake of achieving something remarkable in their separate fields, studies suggest that it has become a goal for most people. Because of this enormous change, people do not focus on growing or learning anymore but on getting attention.

You need to understand that fame is not everything you need. You should focus on your growth, skills, career, family, and love. Personal development is significant.

Marriage and parenthood

There’s an explanation that most of the stories and movies we watched in our childhood ended when two people got married. Weddings can be fantastic demonstrations of individuals’ adoration, yet they’re  simply the start of a journey together that can be troublesome and disappointing occasionally. Toss a crying, clapping baby in this whole drama, and the whole thing becomes even more romantic.

This is false; marriage and having children can be your goal if you like, but your life must not revolve around it. You should not rush and marry anyone just because you want to get married. Think clearly about it, marriage is a good thing, but it comes with many responsibilities. Practical life is not like fairytales. So, it would help if you were more realistic.


It might feel cool in old-fashioned movies, yet smoking can prompt everything from stroke, cancer, emphysema, and heart disease. Furthermore, it’s costly, and the smell is practically challenging to dispose of, so you wind up strolling around possessing a scent like an old ashtray.

Romanticizing smoking is very common among teenagers when they see their favourite characters in their favourite shows and movies doing it. But this is not the right thing to do. Before you think about how cool smoking makes you look, think about all the drawbacks it comes with.

How do I stop romanticizing everything reddit

Reddit provides people with an excellent platform to share their thoughts and finding solutions to their problems. So here are some suggestions by Reddit users on “how do I stop romanticizing everything,” especially toxic relationships and people.

  • “I don’t see anything wrong with romanticizing a casual encounter. Instead of the “happily ever after” ending, you get enigmatic “and she never saw him again” ending. It’s only really a bad thing if you expect something unrealistic out of it.”
  • “I used to be like this. I think I grew out of it. I started focusing on making myself happy rather than waiting for someone who would be my “happily ever after.” Then again, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a romantic. Just that you can change over time; if it’s not bothering you, embrace it.”
  • “I think the only danger of romanticizing is if you ignore the reality that it’s effortless for someone to seem amazing before knowing everything about them. It’s perfectly fine to romanticize the small things as long as you treat them like sweet memories rather than pining after someone. Remember that there are plenty of people with amazing things to offer, and the things you want are rarely all found in one person. Just because the “could have been” thing didn’t happen with the current person doesn’t mean it won’t happen with someone else. Every person and encounter teaches you something about romance and what you want. Latching on to one person too soon will inevitably be limiting. Have fun and feel lucky for the experiences that you are having.”
  • “You already know you do that, so you’re a little ahead of the game. Why not try making the fantasy absurd? The clutch you to their chest, and then a troupe of My Little Pony impersonators dances through. One makes a huge fake poop of rainbow slime, and your date slips in it and winds up face down. Or imagine them in grotty underwear with holes sitting unwashed on the sofa, dipping Cheetos into Mountain Dew and picking their nose. You’re creating one kind of fantasy for yourself; if you change it, you will see how unrealistic the first one is.”
  • “Don’t jump to conclusions. You have to tell yourself that you don’t have any information about someone besides the fact they smiled at you once. Your brain seems to be trying to fill in too many blanks. Realize what you are doing – making shit up – and tell yourself to slow down. Think scientifically. Tell yourself you cannot come to any conclusions until you have more data. This not only helps with people but any information. Do your best not to form opinions or conclusions until any “what if?” questions (as many as you can) are reasonably answered. This is a very sobering and liberating experience. When it comes to people, specifically, do your best to expect as little as possible until you know a person. Keep your mind open and try not to judge them, but understand them and listen to them. The less you expect, the more likely you are to appreciate that person, and the more likely they will respond favourably to you.”
  • “Since you don’t know them, you may be assuming their traits. And of course, it’s exactly what you were looking for, huh? Realize that you like your reflection in them. And they’re just another person with their issues.”
  • “I’ve been in several serious relationships and even lived with a gf for a couple of years. Yet, I still have this exact problem. A girl in the office went out of her way to tell me she likes the way I dress, and since then, I can’t stop thinking about that interaction and wondering what she thinks of me and stuff. I’m fucking clueless as to what to do. This, my friend, is a double-edged sword if I’ve seen one.”
  • “Throw a little water on it when it gets too hot. She becomes an abusive heroin addict a month after you meet in your fantasies. Or you can try and talk to them. Maybe it goes somewhere. It probably won’t many times, and that will kill the fantasy too.”

What do people need to stop romanticizing reddit?

  • “Overworking. The people at my job seem to make it a contest of who sacrifices more for their job. Who works the most overtime? Who does things off the clock for work more? Etc. It’s bullshit. I have a life and a family I want to prioritize.”
  • “TV/film romanticize alcoholism. It’s no wonder so many people out there have an unhealthy relationship with booze.”
  • “Celebrities who die young at the height of their career (especially if it is because of suicide, drug overdose, etc.) Out of sympathy, they are put on a much higher pedestal than those who have grown old and have made blunders in the game of life. This somehow makes the older one’s legacy have a lesser impact than those who died young.”
  • “Mental illness. Having one doesn’t make you cool, quirky or deep. It’s horrible.”
  • “Life on cattle stations or ranches (depending on where u are) is hard, hot, dusty work. There is no such thing as a regular ‘weekend’ off. You either love it or hate it… And for all you Australians who should get the reference we say to every newbie.. mate, this ain’tMcLeods daughter.”
  • “Self-harm. I see people with scars, and I hear people say, “how beautiful the scars are because it means you’ve overcome battles” I think it’s fucking crazy. I do have self-inflicted wounds; they are mistakes I wish I could take back. Not something I want others to see and admire.”
  • “Abusive relationships, eating disorders, mental illnesses like anxiety and depression, being awkward as hell, smoking, models being the ultimate pinnacle of gorgeousness (see eating disorders), suicide and self-harm (I self-harm on occasion and it can get addictive real quick, I feel self-conscious about mine so it pisses me off when people go ‘you’ve overcome so much, and it’s like ‘no I needed help and no one would fucking listen’.”
  • “Writing as a career. You’re almost certainly not going to Harry Potter your way into a fat bank account. You’re going to have to deal with endless rejections or your books failing even though you did everything ‘right’. You’re going to spend hours and hours along staring at a computer screen, willing your plot to come together. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun as shit, but it’s still a job.”
  • “Being 20 something, studying at uni, broke, living in a run down old sharehouse on a bed made of milk crates.”
  • “Late, and probably nobody will read but… Men being jealous of the woman they are after, like WTF no, if he wants to know every single thing you do and goes berserk because you want to keep something for yourself RUN GIRL.”


Romanticizing something is not that bad, but it becomes a problem when you completely cut off with reality and daydream. You should never romanticise a few things, like bad habits, toxic relationships, and some other troubling things.

So, this was all about romanticizing; I have tried my best to share some helpful information with you hope you will find it useful. BOOK A THERAPY SESSION NOW AND HET SUPPORT CLICK HERE.

Further reading

Relationship Courses
All Services
Improve my relationship
I think my boyfriend is cheating on me
Family Therapy

Overwhelmed meaning


PTSD quotes

Cheating quotes

Relationship poems

What to do if a guy doesn’t text you for a week

Stages of a rebound relationship

Feeling used

I am too scared to date again

9 texts to never send a man or woman

I still love my ex

Treat your inbox

Receive our newsletter on the latest deals and happenings. You can unsubscribe any time you want. Read more on our newsletter sign up