The term “Sapiosexual” was first used and invented by “wolfieboy, a LiveJournal user” in 1998. OkCupid in November 2014 expanded the list of genders and sexual orientations, and they included sapiosexual on this list; after that public became aware of this unique identity.But what is sapiosexual? What is the sapiosexual meaning? How can you define it? This article is all about this unique sexual orientation, which is still criticized by a lot of people.
What is sapiosexual?
What is sapiosexual?It has been used like pansexual, but the difference is that it means a person is attracted to intelligence they find intelligence sexually attractive and arousing.
A lot of people have pointed out; wanting an intelligent partner is not sexual orientation but a preference. In addition to this, it is not a non-normative or unique preference as a lot of people want this quality in their potential partner.
People have also criticized it as classist and ablest and limiting the whole conversation around smartness. “Are You Actually A Sapiosexual,” a Buzzfeed quiz asked readers a question whether they were interested in having sex with a person who had never been to college or not interested in higher education, and it seemed like it was trying to normalize the idea of discriminating against people not having college degrees or academic aspirations. There are several types of intelligence, like natural intelligence or inter-personal intelligence, but the majority of sapiosexual people talk about academic intelligence and dismiss people who might not be able to perform well academically.
Here is how to define sapiosexual:
“When a person finds intelligence, arousing or sexually attractive or finds it to be the most attractive thing in a person it means he is sapiosexual.”
Another way to define sapiosexual is a person who is turned on only by smart people. You could be the most handsome person in the whole room and may get their attention because of your looks, but they will only be interested in you if you have something smart to share.
Sapiosexual and demisexual
Demisexual is a sexual orientation, just like sapiosexual. Some people are only attracted sexually towards those with whom they have developed a solid emotional connection or personal bond. In this case, a person is known as demisexual. According to Demisexuality Resource Center, demisexuals have a desire to engage in sexual activities very rarely as compared to the general population. It is not about the physical attraction or looks of the person.
In some ways, sapiosexual and demisexual are similar. The basic similarity is that sapiosexuals also have a limited number of people to whom they may be attracted, just like demisexuals. But there is a major difference sapiosexual not looking for the emotional bond but smartness. Emotion attachment is not a crucial factor here. This makes sapiosexual and demisexual totally different.
Characteristics of a sapiosexual
What is a sapiosexual woman or man? The definition can help you in understanding the concept. But how can someone find out if he is sapiosexual or not? What are the characteristics of a sapiosexual? If you have the same questions in your mind, you are in the right place. Here I am going to tell you some characteristics that are found in a sapiosexual person. So let’s get started:
You find people attractive as you get to know them.
Ever met someone and although they were very beautiful still, that was not the thing that makes you feel attracted to them, it was something about their confidence, knowledge base, the way they conducted themselves, and these qualities made them even more beautiful to you. This means you are a sapiosexual.
A sapiosexual man never finds someone attractive instantly. A person grows attractive to them, the more they talk and get to know them. Mainly it is because it is their brain, and not their physical ascribes, that attracts them. Getting to know someone allows you to understand whether a person has a strong intellect; if yes, it will make them more attractive to know.
You enjoy great conversation more than casual sex.
A sapiosexual man is more interested in conversation than casual sex. I am not saying that you do not like intercourse or would never opt for one night stand, no. It is that what turns you on is not physical but much more mental. Sapiosexual always interested in deep conversation, and it is actually what turns them on. If they find someone like that or meet their equal, it will be a great fit.
You turned on by their knowledge rather than what they have.
For you, luxury items are not very important, other people may feel envious about high price tags, but this does not mean anything to you. You do not judge anyone by their financial status, fashion sense but on their knowledge. Finances, looks, and status are not on the list of must-haves; if these are on the list, a person might find these at the bottom of the list.
It is believed that for women, financial status is important but do you know what is a sapiosexual woman? She is not interested in your financial status at all. A sapiosexual woman or man is not looking for a narcissist but for a person who has a zest for learning, discussion, and knowledge.
You are more likely to find a gem in the rough.
Have you ever thought about what brings couples together? Mostly it is eye contact or a scan of their bodies. But it is not the sapiosexual meaning. In the case of a sapiosexual, intense attraction occurs in later phases of dating. This means there is a greater chance that you are not going to get just a beautiful face but a person who has a purpose in life.
Sometimes you may look at a couple and think they are not well suited for each other, but when you get to know them, you will understand that they are perfect for each other. It is because they are interested in what the other person is saying, not in looks. They find their partner genuinely stimulating emotionally and mentally.
Bad grammar is annoying for you.
It is one of the common characteristics of a sapiosexual. You might forgive a person in a hurry sending you text like, “Running l8, ttyl” for once. But if you have to deal with bad grammar continuously, it is a big turn off. You are looking for a partner who is on the same intellectual page with you. But if a person is lazy enough to send this kind of text consistently, it means it is time for you to say to them bye-bye. Sapiosexuals are into good intelligent thought provoking conversation not trendy slang.
You are a sapiosexual if you appreciate fully spelled and well written texts with good grammar, much more than cute little abbreviations.
Knowledge in any form turns you on
Being sapiosexual does not mean that only a person with perfect IQ will inspire you or the person who is most successful in his field or a person with complicated vocabulary. It is not entirely about that. It is about solid love for knowledge, in any form. There are no boundaries. A person who is truly sapiosexual loves the knowledge for its sake. This can include basic, everyday knowledge and studying theories and societal changes.
How to turn on a sapiosexual
Some people think that sapiosexuals are boring and do not have a life that is clearly wrong. They find beauty in intellect. It really does not mean that the person is a snob, so if you really like them but think they might not be good enough or too much hard work, you are wrong. You just need to change your seduction game a bit. If you are thinking about how to turn on a sapiosexual ? Let me share some tips with you.
Sapiosexual meaning someone who likes deep knowledge. Sapiosexuals respond to conversation starters differently. They need something deep and intellectual to be attentive towards you. Break the ice with a riddle, and this will surely make them interested in you. Another way is to use sapiosexual sayings, which I will share in the coming section; for instance, “love is the union of two hearts that have always longed for each other.” It is an excellent way to say good night to a sapiosexual partner.
Keep in mind that they find deep conversations more interesting than physical intimacy. Don’t worry; there is plenty of physical intimacy for the person they are really attracted to.
Grammar matters a lot.
As I have mentioned above, bad grammar is a big turn-off for a sapiosexual so avoid it in any case. You will be irresistible if your grammar is on point. For example, pronouncing et cetera rightly can be an excellent turn on.
Sapiosexuals, in general, are smart and can recognize intellect in others. So if you polish your punctuation and grammar, your conversation with them will be intriguing. Use the right grammar while texting, capitalize proper nouns, show your effort if you really want them. If you have deep knowledge about any topic, make sure to discuss it with them, and they will be totally interested in you.
There can be several types of sapiosexuals based on their sexual orientation and some other factors; they fall for people who are a bit patient. When you know someone more, you will find them more interesting.
Well, a sapiosexual cannot resist such a person no matter what type of sapiosexuals he belongs to. They feel intrigued by people who seem more interesting day by day. It can really help if you stick around a person long enough to let them see how interesting you are and can be as time passes.
Demonstrate intelligence in different forms
Honestly, sapiosexuals are really crazy about knowledge, but please do not go on about the same novel, again and again, to turn them on. Any form of knowledge can fascinate them. So, in addition to intellectual knowledge, you can also present your unique emotional intelligence. Show them other types of knowledge that you have never presented to them.
Keep in mind admitting something weird you did, does not make you look dumb or stupid. Not even in front of a sapiosexual person. It only proves that you have confidence in the knowledge you already have about a particular subject and we all learn more everyday. Be comfortable in showcasing the knowledge you have truly.
Take a chill pill
Are you wondering how to turn on a sapiosexual? Take a chill pill. It may seem like being reserved and formal can turn a sapiosexual on, but that is not entirely true. You may have heard that opposites attract, right? That is true to some extent. So loosen up a bit. If you are good at singing or dancing or have an interesting hobby, do not hide; let your sapiosexual partner see it. Some people think that an introvert personality is linked to smart people, but no, you can look interesting and lively and can still win a sapiosexual personalitys heart.
If you are wondering about Polyamorous sapiosexual meaning, let me explain this to you. Break this term into two, Polyamorous, meaning “being involved with more than one person romantically with the consent of all parties”, and sapiosexual means someone who is attracted to intelligence. So collectively, Polyamorous sapiosexual meaning is someone who is romantically involved with more than one person he finds intelligent with their consent.
How do you seduce a sapiosexual?
If you are dating a sapiosexual and wonder how do you seduce a sapiosexual?First thing you need to understand that the usual tricks of seduction do not work on them. For instance, for them, foreplay is talking about your books collection. This means you have to impress them with your intellect, curiosity and comparative thinking.
Here are some tips regarding how do you seduce a sapiosexual?:
Who they are, and what are their interests?
Sapiosexual are attracted to intelligence; we all know that, but that does not mean you have to be a nerd to seduce them. An easy way to do this is by getting to know them and who they actually are. According to Ashley D. Sweet, M.A., LPC, LMHC, CCRC, who is a sex-positive counsellor:
“Being attracted to intelligence or intellect does not mean the sapiosexual in your life will be turned on by everything that falls in the broad realm of ‘nerdy.'”
So I would suggest you walk through their bookshelf, check their news feeds what they have shared so far, and, if possible, have a look at their Netflix queue. This way you can know what they find interesting. They will surely let you in if you show real enthusiasm in knowing about their interests. It is so important for you to know the specific individuals interests.
Library dates and book clubs work best.
There is a huge possibility that your sapiosexual partner loves libraries. You need to participate in their interests too, so plan a make-out tour to the library or local gallery. Visits different libraries within your cities, it won’t be bad if you seek some kisses between those bookshelves. One other option that can work for you is starting a book club together, or you can join one as a couple. There may be some events happening in your city like book festivals etc. plan to join these events.
Discovering culture together is a good option.
The main fact about the sapiosexual is that they love to explore and learn new things. Keeping this nugget of information in mind, you need to plan a date somewhere they can learn a lot and. It would be better to plan a visit to a museum or an art gallery or to any kind of culture-related centre that can enlighten their mind. They find it really attractive. According to Michelle Herzog, LMFT, CST, who is a certified sex therapist:
“Bringing a sapiosexual to a space that provides the opportunity to learn can be incredibly attractive [to them],”
When you try to explore these places together, you will be able to understand more about them. You can connect with them share opinions on different things like philosophical beliefs. You will have a chance to learn together, and there is nothing bad about that.
Performative intelligence will never work.
Although intelligence is what they crave, still they know that people don’t know everything; no one can, even they themselves don’t know everything. So there is no need to feel pressured. Just try to be yourself and talk about things you know already. Performative intelligence will surely make them run away from you. If you do not know something, just admit it and let them teach you something new. They will love to help you in learning something new.
Your passion will seduce you.
A sapiosexual will love to hear what you know and talk about related topics. They are not someone who will only want to hear about what they like. Talk about the things and topics you are passionate about, and they will be attracted to you. Sweet says:
“It’s often the authentic expression of someone else’s intelligence that is so intriguing and arousing to people who identify as sapiosexual. If you’re really passionate about a topic, show your passion while you discuss it.”
Whether you love to talk about science, French literature, robotics, let them know who you actually are. Speak fearlessly and vigorously about what you like. Your expertise will seduce them, as you are going to teach them something new.
Watch an interesting documentary.
While for most couples, it is “Netflix and chill”, but with sapiosexuals, it is “Documentary and chill”, nothing turns them on more than an informative documentary. Although rom-com does not attract them much, but you can still watch these; if you really want to seduce them choose a documentary to watch together. This way, you can also have something to talk about after watching a documentary, have a healthy discussion and show them your compelling views.
Reading to them is also a good thing.
Sapiosexuals value the mind over anything materialistic, like your physical appearance. So you have to bring your oral skills to the highest levels and read them something they find interesting. Read slowly, try to pronounce every word with clarity; this will entice your partner to hang on to your words. TO a sapiosexual, It is like slowly undressing with the eyes. Moreover, you should also be mindful of cadence, rhythms, or syntax that applies to the work at hand.
After all these intense suggestions, you might be wondering why I am suggesting this to seduce them. Well, let me explain this to you. Most of the sapiosexuals are terrible dancers, so if you are a terrible dancer; you are perfect together. Go to a dance party, show them your terrible moves and you will have fun together. You both will appreciate each other’s ability to coordinate your dance steps poorly. You two will feel comfortable with each other as you two will realize that you do not have to try to be perfect in front of each other.
Talk about some serious subjects.
By this, I mean talk deeply about what you like most in this life. Talk about what is the purpose of life for you. It is a serious subject to talk about, but it does not have to be. You can share your views. You can ask them what they think about fate, how they define happiness. This kind of conversation can get a romantic turning point within if you do it rightly. Herzog says that:
“Intellectual conversation, exploration, and gaining perspective are all qualities that contribute to a sapiosexual’s level of attraction and connection. Plus, exploring questions like these really allows two people to get to know each other on a more meaningful level.”
Learning a new skill together is the best.
Well, I have told you above that sapiosexuals always want to learn something new. They crave knowledge, so why not try learning a new skill? You can sign up for learning a new language or can be a part of a DIY project. In any way, it will increase their attraction towards you because they will observe you keenly, building something from nothing or your passion for learning something new. Moreover, it is an excellent way to spend some time together being creative. The intellect and mind is the magnet.
There is no proper medical sapiosexual test to know whether you are sapiosexual or not. You just know when you are, or you can ask a person. Well, I have shared some characteristics of a sapiosexual person; you can get a hint if you are or not. If one of your friends or your partner is sapiosexual, you will see these characteristics in them for sure. In addition to that, there are plenty of online sapiosexual tests that can help you in figuring out your sexual orientation.
Questions to ask a sapiosexual
What are some questions to ask a sapiosexual? Well, there are some questions asked in online quizzes that can help in understanding whether you or your partner are sapiosexual or not. Here these are:
- Deep and Intelligent conversation tends to either fuel you, turn you on, or both?
- Intelligence is always at the very top of your list when you look for potential partners?
- Is steamy debate more erotic than sensual massages to you?
- Do you love a man/woman who has a logical, perceptive, and discerning approach to life?
- Do you judge your level of attraction to a person based on how inquisitive, witty and/or how mentally sharp they are?
- Have you rarely felt any secret “crush” or attraction towards people of physical beauty (i.e., celebrities) unless they also exhibit incisive minds?
- Do you prefer to have a person to ignite complex discussions within a relationship, rather than connecting over superficial similarities?
- Do foolish people cause you to feel very disheartened and irritated?
- Do the most beautiful and fascinating people to you are those with vibrant, lively, and insightful minds?
- Does being able to speak eloquently is more important to you than having a “fit” or sexy body?
Questions to ask a sapiosexual do not revolve around only these; it depends on the result of one test, you may be directed towards some other online tests to completely figure out what is your sexual orientation.
- “I think I should get love inked on my skin. Maybe that’s the only way I am destined to keep it.” ― Anjum Choudhary
- “Words fail to describewhat I feel anymore.
Let me be numb for a while,
let me be sore.” ― Anjum Choudhary
- “He was her reason for existence,
She was his ultimate risk.” ― Findinglostsouls
- “I have loved this world in ways
it could never love me back.” ― Anjum Choudhary
- “Even in the broken state,
my mind find ways
to connect with you.” ― Findinglostsouls
- “Mental Penetration
cerebral stimulation causing ejaculations
of the mind…” ― Sanjo Jendayi
- “There were plenty of fishes in the pond,yet I fell in love with a crocodile.” ― Findinglostsouls
- “Don’t focus on the words I write,pay attention to the ones I don’t.
These lines won’t tell you much about me,
try to read in between these lines.” ― Anjum Choudhary
- “My mind gets stronger every day,
my heart gets weaker with time.” ― Anjum Choudhary
- “She was a quiet girl, a thoughtful girl. But you never knew what was going in that pretty little head of hers. Whether she was planning a tea party; or a plot to take over the world.” ― N.R. Hart, Poetry and Pearls
- “Some of us cover to protect our bodies
some of us cover to protect our souls
in both cases,
respect their choices.” ― Anjum Choudhary
- “Don’t be a sapiosexual, be a sapiosensual. This is why I say I consider myself a sapiosensual (a term I just made up) because I DON’T LOOK FOR INTELLIGENCE IN A PERSON; I LOOK FOR SOUL, DEPTH, PASSION, VULNERABILITY, AND SENSUALITY. All these equate to AUTHENTICITY to me. So, yes, I’m probably snobbish too, I judge a person on how I feel about their authenticity.” ― Lebo Grand
- “Wearing perfume or expensive or trendy clothes is often, if not almost always, a subconscious attempt to make up for an uninteresting mind.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
- “I love deep conversations, reading poetry, and gazing at the moon & stars in the night!” ― Avijeet Das
- “By definition, love, at first sight, has nothing to do with the other person’s character or mind.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
- “Y’all got your heads tucked so far up your rears, she’s petrified the kid’s gonna need a shrink before he can shit in a dish.” — Addison Moore
- “Love left us long back; we just got better.
You at pretending,
Me at hiding.” ― Anjum Choudhary
- “Now was not the time to be sentimental. As a child, she’d been ridiculously sentimental about loss, about time passing.” — Maryanne O’Hara.
- “Most gulls don’t bother to learn more than the simplest facts of flight – how to get from shore to food and back again.” — Richard Bach.
- “I love big brains,and I cannot lie.”
- “Never underestimate the seductive power of a decent vocabulary.”
- “Brains are the new boobs.”
- “Please, say it again: how big is your library?”
- “Talk nerdy to me.”
Here are some of the sapiosexual sayings for you:
- “Proud to announce that I’m coming out as incredibly annoyed,” wrote pediatrician Daniel Summers.
- “I don’t want to be a reactionary but I think I draw the line at ‘comes out as sapiosexual,'” said editor Jeremy Gordon.
- “A sapiosexual is someone who is sexually attracted to someone’s intelligence, and they prioritize that quality above all others, It’s not just about scholarly debates, but passion and proficiency around a certain subject can do the trick.” Dr. Emily Morse
- “Sapiosexuals are sometimes called “nymphobrainiacs” (get it?) and that “they are basically in love with the mind.” Diana Raab, Ph.D.
- “A sapiosexual might not identify at all with gendered or physical attraction, but rather have a potential partner’s mind be the primary turn-on…. Of course, there are lots of ways a person might experience arousal and/or partner interest. We really are not all the same sexually! But many of those varying preferences have to do with looks or else with sexual/erotic acts. Being sapiosexual is pretty different from these, and sheds light on the segment of people who find certain personal qualities more important than a sexy look or a compatible set of sexual interests.”Diana Raab, Ph.D.
- “A person’s mind is way more attractive than the person’s body. Intellectual people are sexy!” ― Avijeet Das.
- “Emotional Intelligence is a great quality that all of us have. We need to hone it further each day!” ― Avijeet Das.
- “People with Emotional Intelligence & Great Vocabulary and who have Struggled in Life are the New Sexy !” ― Avijeet Das.
- “Intelligence is sexy. Don’t play dumb, especially young girls. Don’t play dumb. And let people see that you are intelligent.”
- “I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.” Dolly Parton
- “A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether.” Roy H. Williams
- “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” Stephen Hawking
Here are some sapiosexual sayings that will make you sound smart and can help in turning your sapiosexual partner on:
- “There are only two great tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want and the other is getting it.” -Oscar Wilde.
- “Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things aren’t. I’m not surprised some people prefer books.” -Julian Barnes.
- “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” -Buddha.
- “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” -Albert Einstein.
- “Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” -James Baldwin.
- “Sometimes the questions are complicated, and the answers are simple.” -Dr. Seuss
- “What gets us into trouble is not what we don’t know. It’s what we know for sure that just ain’t so.” -Mark Twain.
- “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” -Albert Einstein.
- “Knowing what must be done does away with fear.” -Rosa Parks.
- “Holding onto your anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” -Buddha.
- “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”-Søren Kierkegaard.
- “It’s not that I’m so smart. It’s just that I stay with problems longer.” -Albert Einstein.
- “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” -Confucius.
- “The two most important days of your life are the day that you’re born and the day that you find out why.” -Mark Twain.
- “Education is not the learning of the facts, but the training of the mind to think.” -Albert Einstein.
- “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” -Robert Frost.
- “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” -Thich Nhat Hanh.
- “A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.” -Maya Angelou.
- “We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” -George Bernard Shaw.
- “Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.” -Elbert Hubbard.
- “If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.” -Toni Morrison.
- “We don’t see things the way they are. We see them the way we are.” -Talmud.
- “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” -Lao Tzu.
- “All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
For a sapiosexual person, the brain is the sexiest part of the body. There is nothing wrong in wanting something; we all have desires. If you have just figured out that you are sapiosexual, accept yourself and try to enjoy this new change in your life. Go for what you want or for more guidance have a free consultation today call 03333443853. TRY OUR SAPIOSEXUAL PACKAGE FOR DATING TODAY CLICK BELOW sapiosexual service now