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Dating is very difficult

Dating is very difficult

Dating is very difficult

A few years back, when you liked someone, you told them about it. If they liked you back, there would be no games. They would just say it. But nowadays, dating is all about mixed signals, misinterpretation, many options, and transactional body vices. Because of all this, dating has become a lot more difficult, and those who are stronger and patient survive.

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Dating is very difficult, but does it have to be? No, not at all; it should be fun. So, what makes it so difficult that we are unable to focus on the fun side? Let’s discuss that:

Why dating is more difficult?

why dating is so difficult

Why dating is more difficult? You have probably asked yourself this question every time you go on a date or have a terrible experience. Well, there are plenty of reasons, some of these are mentioned below:

People are interested in hookups

Why dating is more difficult? Some people are just looking for casual dating and hookups. And it is not just about men; women these days are also interested in hookups. These behaviors shown by both sexes were not like this before. We have changed a lot. People just wait for a while to have sex, but they do not care about you, how you feel, who you are and what you want. Some people do everything with a mindset of nakedness and sex first. For people, it is easier to be physically vulnerable rather than being emotionally vulnerable. For example, a person would have a much better chance of giving someone sex time rather than them ever opening up about their dreams, desires, fears and hopes.

For the record, sex is not bad; it is an amazing thing during a dating process. But it brings nothing good when both people are unclear about what they want and keep on sleeping with each other till one of them calls it off. Everything becomes difficult, and both parties feel heartache. In the past, these things needed a title of boyfriend and girlfriend; now that is not needed, so the lines are a little harder to see.

People pretend not to care to look cool.

Every quote, every song, or sentence you say these days about dating revolves around trying not to care too much. These days while dating showing how you feel is a sign of vulnerability and ultimately a sign of weakness. If you think about it clearly, it is kind of hilarious because when you are vulnerable, you are able to connect with the other person. Seeing people in denial is even more hilarious. They refuse to show frustration, hurt, and even the smallest sign of emotion, but in reality, we all can see through it. It is like a tough guy who pretends to be brave and not scared but screams loudly at every turn when walking in a haunted place.

It is really sad to know that people who are emotionally open and available are not treated well in the real world. They usually get the least respect, especially in the dating world. So, people, while dating, try not to open up and keep things to themselves and then complain, “Well, that person couldn’t have been the one, or this process would be easier.”

The idea of a perfect partner

Here is something you need to know, “perfection does not exist.” Humans are not perfect at all, and that is what makes us awesome. That is why we love sports or Tv dramas. But in the modern dating world, one mistake can take you out of the game as you do not fit someone’s complicated but misguided view of a perfect partner. Every day you will see quotes like these on Instagram:

  • If they do not reply instantly, they are not right for you.
  • Do not settle for less; you deserve the best.
  • You need someone who is spiritual, rich, exciting, great, funny, best in shape and

These are highly misguided quotes of “self-love” that are everywhere; we fail to accept that no one is perfect. No one will fulfill every box for you. Even if initially they do this, they will fail on one of them. You are seeing the world with rose-tinted glasses during the initial days of dating life with someone it is the honeymoon stage; this is not forever.  Social media and TV also has played a great role in creating a false image of a perfect partner.

People like to be alone.

Being alone and being lonely are two different things. People like to cancel plans and stay at home, which means they choose to stay alone. It seems like people choose to miss an opportunity where they can communicate and cultivate relationships. They prefer to stay at home, binge watch Netflix. To be honest, I love this too, but human interaction should always come first.

Moreover, people are so committed to self-love that they try not to fall for someone else. Setting goals for yourself and then trying to achieve them on your own is good. But some people get consumed in this whole situation that they forget to make time for others. For such people trying dating is getting out of their comfort zone. So even if they try dating, they focus on the flaws of others so that they can reject another person these type of characters are difficult to date.

Online dating is so difficult

online dating is so difficult

Just like traditional dating, online dating comes with a lot of challenges. You don’t know if the person, on the other side is pretending or is real. Online dating is so difficult, especially if you are not just looking for time to pass but are looking for something real. Here is why online dating is so difficult:

Ghosting is very common

Humans try to take the easy path always to minimize resistance. That is the reason instead of having a conversation and acting like an adult; they try to run away from their problems. Think about if you were dating someone and having a conversation face to face. Instead of giving you an actual response, they just ignored you. You try to talk to them again and again, but they still ignore you. You will think that the person is crazy. But this is online dating where you do not do face to face usually. The more faceless communication is it is easier to ignore the real issue and avoid dealing with it. But this is very common among people who usually ghost. Just imagine how many dating scenarios could have turned to couples if they just talked about their problems instead of ghosting.

Phone games ruin everything.

Technology is funny; the more advanced features are launched, the more people get lazier. When text messages were introduced, they were called “Instant” SMS which means Short Message System. Still, when people receive a text, you have no idea whether they have seen your message or not. They may reply to you after an hour or a few hours, or even days. This is another form of pretending “not to care.” Playing these kinds of games nowadays is very common. Sometimes game playing is not a thing, but we create scenarios in our head and overthink every situation as we have access to a lot of information. Don’t want to text back immediately because of a work thing; that’s fine. Text back when you feel like it, but only if that is how you usually operate.

I have got a lot of options.

People legit feel like relationships are like buses, and there will always be a better one. We can say that it is true, but a compatible relationship is not easy to come by. If you want to hook up with someone for a few months, that is fine, but that is a teenage mindset. You should never give up on people you could be happy with. Having an infinite choice is just a myth; you might have 100s of matches on a dating site, but how many will swipe back. Let’s suppose they swipe back, but will they agree on a date, and even if they agree, will they show up? Will you be compatible? You have no idea what is going to happen. So, thinking that you have a lot of options will not bring any good for you but at the same time do not have the scarcity mindset.

What is the hardest year in a relationship?

what is the hardest year in a relationship

What is the hardest year in a relationship? The answer to this question is not so easy. When a relationship starts, it seems like the first year is very difficult, but that is not true. The first year in a relationship is usually easy because your practical life does not hit you. You two are in love and seeing the world with rose-tinted glasses.

So, what is the hardest year in a relationship? In my opinion, 2nd year of a relationship is most difficult as your practical life starts. You might think about getting committed with your partner and want to take your relationship to the next level. You might think about getting married or something like that.

The concept of a 7-year itch is also very popular these days. This is the time of great confusion when a person thinks about his/her partner, whether the relationship is truly the right decision, whether their partner is right, is this relationship worth staying in.

Is dating more difficult now?

Is dating more difficult now

Is dating more difficult now? Yes, it is. Because of social media, online dating apps, and other social factors, dating has become very complicated. But you can make your dating experience better with the following tips:

Invest your time

When you start dating someone, invest your time not just because you like your date but also observe how much they put in.  Instead of investing a lot of your time, give little. For example, if you like your date, tell them about it, ask for another date and see how they react. You need to focus on giving less and communicating rather than investing more and chasing.

Be clear about your deal-breakers.

By deal breakers, I do not mean that start rejecting people based on their appearance. Deal breakers are things that you don’t want in your partner at any cost. Focus on things that are non-negotiable for you. For example, anything racist, elitist, sexist should make you check again. For some people talking rudely to a waiter is a big turn-off.

Do not take rejection personally.

While dating, it is the first and most important thing to remember. When someone rejects you, it is not always your fault. It might be because they were looking for something different. There are plenty of people out there who are looking for someone like you. Moreover, if someone ghosts you, it is not your fault either; it tells a lot about the other person. It says that he or she is emotionally immature and is not ready for something serious.

Has dating become more difficult?

has dating become more difficult

Has dating become more difficult? If yes, why has it become this way? Let’s ask Reddit users:

  • “32m here, and I struggle as well. I think it’s likely that most people dating in their 30’s had a past relationship that didn’t work. Now they’re hesitant because they know what it feels like to lose someone, and it’s a high risk to enter a relationship, build, and hope for the best moving forward. I honestly couldn’t deal with losing it all again at this age. Additionally, the app-dating world has destroyed dating for anyone who leans more toward traditional dating practices. None of it is organic, and with so many options, it’s created a mentality that effort doesn’t matter.”
  • “In my experience, all the good ones are taken. I am not one to get involved with a partnered woman, so those choices are out the window. I no longer do online dating. Please, ladies, because society has shifted, men that approach women are often seen in a negative light. On at least a few occasions, I have been met with rude comments. If you fancy a guy, ask him if he is available for coffee. Nothing more and nothing less.”
  • “By your 30’s most people in your (our) age group have been through a marriage, a divorce, or a long-term relationship has gone wrong. Those that haven’t perhaps haven’t had the maturity to commit or haven’t found anyone that suits them, so that brings it its issues. It’s not like when you’re 20, innocent and wide-eyed. They all have issues now, be that commitment or trust issues. Just keep plugging away at it. I’m sure something will happen for you.”
  • “All I know is that when I was young, and my life was ahead of me, relationships were easier since we could get on the same path if we wanted to. Now that I’m older, I’m halfway down a particular path, just like the women I date. We’re a little more set in our ways and aren’t ready to change our lives for any old relationship.”
  • “Lack of economic opportunity for middle-class males combined with the expanded opportunity for women. Simply, young, working-class men aren’t as attractive of mates as we once were. Used to be a young woman could depend on a hard-working 20-24-year-old male to provide a comfortable living for themselves and any family they may want to have together. Wages have been so stagnant that economic stability just isn’t there anymore. In addition, economic opportunity has been expanded for women, so many of them don’t have to depend as much on a mate for getting by, causing many women to put their career before focusing on starting a family. I’d say that, and a greater acceptance of single parenthood are probably most of it.”
  • “There is the old proverb that says when there’s no money, love goes out the window. I think it goes both ways for males<->females where the perceived value you get from the other has greatly diminished now that we all compete for the same of everything.”
  • “It’s tough and definitely has become more of an ‘art.’ But don’t think the same doesn’t apply to women. Yes, attractive women have 1000s of guys at their fingertips but need to sieve through those on a daily basis, so make yourself stand out with whatever quality you have (whether it’s looks, humor, career success, or a combination). I do get your point on it becoming weird in real life to go up to a girl. This is true and will only worsen. Then again, if you have balls of steel and are willing to go up to a group of girls and say you’re interested in one of them, they will secretly do a little jump.”
  • “I mean, yeah, going to the gym, being cool, having a good job, and being attractive are things that increase your chances. If you’re not getting replies, I’d tweak your approach. Make sure what you are initially saying isn’t basic shit everyone else says. Gotta differentiate yourself.”
  • “I am 29/f Asian and used to live in NYC. I had OKC. I had, on average, 25 men texted me in a day. I decided to spend no more than 30 minutes a day on the app. If a message is interesting, I reply. If it was just a “hi,” I blocked the guy. I went on a “first date” twice a week on average. Out of all of the “first date,” around 75% will result on the second date. I had a rule to not have sex before 6 dates and always made it clear on the first date. I did it for a year, and guess what, I only had sex with a guy, he is patient enough to wait up to 6 dates, and he is my husband now. His first messaged for me was, “I am not good at talking online with women, do you want to meet tomorrow? Diner?” Moral of the story: be systematic, be different, and have rule in place.”
  • “Dating is hard for everyone, but our generation thinks too many options is a good thing. If we just stop thinking anyone can be an option, we’ll only focus on what genuinely feels right for us. I think our generation likes to date just to date, leading to many meaningless experiences and frustration. We have to learn what we like and look for that type of person.”
  • “I’m 26/f, dare I say mildly attractive, and I haven’t landed a real date in about a year. I agree that online apps have made it harder, but not just for guys. I’ll start chatting with a guy, and the more “attractive,” the worse I’m treated. Or just ghosted, before even the date, and so this last time, I decided to swipe on guys who just seemed nice and chat, but it’s even worse! I like typical “nerdy nice guys,” and I’ll normally ask them out since they’re usually shy, but they won’t even respond lately. My friends keep saying they run into the same and offer the excuse that they’re intimidated, but what does that help me? I’m just trying to share some popcorn 😕”
  • “There have been several studies done that prove social media is making people more anxious and depressed, so I’d say yes to your question.”
  • “Meet people in other ways. Many people worth don’t spend all of their time online or with their faces on their phones, so they aren’t swiping through hundreds of potential matches in the first place. Those people may actually be more with your time.”
  • “It gets better. Keep your eyes open. Listen to the women. Find something you like doing. Learn to like what other people share with you. Open up, and whatever mechanisms you use to meet people will provide you with opportunities to form relationships. But, you have to keep yourself switched on and engaged despite whatever happens to discourage you.”
  • “Nothing’s changed. How do you know it was easier in 2012 when you didn’t try? Welcome to the sexual marketplace. You’re just now discovering your worth in it. To land a cute girl, you need a combination of three things: looks, games, and money. With online dating, you’re only evaluated on looks, and let me tell you; women care just as much as guys when it comes to looks. In-person you can show off your other traits. So it’s a bit easier. My suggestion gets good at talking to women, lift heavy shit, and focus on your career, job and education. Yeah, it sucks you have to work for it, but so does everyone else.”
  • “Online dating as an option sucks; trying to meet people in real life doing activities works out better, even things like speed dating. A big issue is that people in your age group also often aren’t looking for marriage, and if they were guys you’d want to marry, generally are married by 36, while divorced guys aren’t really looking to repeat the process. It feels like people are pretty generally jaded these days and aren’t looking seriously for a long-term relationship or at least have flaws to make it unlikely that they will be able to sustain one.”

Conclusion

Dating is very difficult nowadays because somehow people are materialistic these days. But dating should be fun. It should not be complicated. But if you follow the tips mentioned above, you can make your dating experience less complicated. Additionally, you can also take help from a dating counselor.

Further reading

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Editorial
Improve my relationship
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Family Therapy

Overwhelmed meaning

Ghosted

PTSD quotes

Cheating quotes

Relationship poems

What to do if a guy doesn’t text you for a week

Stages of a rebound relationship

Feeling used

I am too scared to date again

9 texts to never send a man or woman

I still love my ex

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