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Sarmassophobia one of the most common phobias of modern times. Field of romance is not free of fears. You may see it as a joke but when someone says “I am a relationship-phobe” it is real. The individual may have dating fear which makes them feel nervous while going on a date for the first time. Some people may fear love play which means actions like caressing, stroking and kissing your partner, can make you feel discomfort and distress. This kind of fear is known as Sarmassophobia. It is an obstacle to strengthen relationship and intimacy. It makes establishing a love relationship difficult. In this article, you will be able to know about this dating phobia its symptoms and how can you overcome it.

Sarmassophobia meaning

Research shows that fear of dentists is a very common phobia in the UK, about one in ten people avoid going to dentists. But there are more dangerous phobias in the world. Those phobias which affect relationships are worst as they affect your personal and social life. One such rare phobia is Sarmassophobia.

Sarmassophobia also known as malaxophobia, is characterized by a persistent and irrational phobia of love and game of seduction. People suffering from this phobia cannot handle seductive activities; they feel frustrated and want to leave the person. And when someone says that they are behaving weird, it only makes them angry, frustrated. They want to be with someone, but at the same time, they are afraid of intimacy.

Currently, it is considered as one of the rare phobias. But experts have deeply studied it, and it is well documented by them dating can bring a significant amount of anxiety. So it is possible to recover from this phobia if a professional treats it correctly. No doubt it is interesting to read about this fear but handling it is not that easy it requires professional help. You can deal with it if the feeling of fear is not that strong. For recovery, it is important to know about its symptoms and possible treatments so that you can deal with it.

Now we know what Sarmassophobia meaning is. It is Aversion to dating rise from fear of love play, but how will someone know that he has Sarmassophobia? Sometimes we don’t have an idea about why we are doing something we just do it because we don’t feel safe and comfortable, clear signs can help us in understanding the root problems. So there are also other signs of Sarmassophobia if you see these signs in your attitude you can look for accurate symptoms and then can go for treatment.

Here are signs of Sarmassophobia:

Do you feel nervous before dates?

It is a very common sign if you feel nervous before dates; it can be a sign of this phobia. However, you will not only feel nervous but will also be anxious before your date. Sarmassophobia; fear of dating and love play will make sleeping and eating food difficult. You will feel sick before your date day and crippled with fear and anxiety.

Do your friends think you are weird in picking dates?

Your friend will think that you are acting weird and are not ready to date. No matter how perfect date they will find for you will reject them saying things like, “he was too friendly” or “I didn’t like his hair”. You will swipe left on Tinder making a false reason in your mind. You friends will call you choosy, but you are actually afraid to know someone in real life. You are scared to be in love play with them and will avoid these interactions at all costs. These are the common results of sarmassophobia

Are you the one who ghost your date?

Sometimes Sarmassophobia; fear of dating and love play makes you so terrified that you ghost your date. You may have a panic attack just before your date, and you don’t show up without even informing them. Sometimes you go on a date, but then you escape while your date is thinking about what is taking you so long in the restroom. You don’t even bother to inform them that you are leaving. You may do this even if your date is going fine. You just leave because you feel it is too much pressure.

Do you feel uncomfortable when your partner tries to get close?

Does someone call you a tease? If yes, it is because you make them chase you and then started behaving weird like you don’t want them or you don’t care. Well, clearly they don’t have any idea what you are dealing with. You are scared of cuddles and kissing, you want a person badly but the thought of getting close makes you walk away from them.

Do you feel relaxed when a relationship ends?

You feel so relieved when your partner stops trying and ends the relationship. It is because you had in your mind that this relationship will not work. So when it is over, you are not sad but relaxed. It is a clear sign that you may be suffering from Sarmassophobia.

Some common Symptoms of Sarmassophobia

About 10 million people in the UK have phobias. These can affect anyone irrespective of their gender, social background or age. Phobias are not some kind of illness that you can ignore or take lightly. These phobias make your life activities limited. These phobias can be a leading cause of anxiety and then ultimately, depression. People who have phobia try to avoid contact with objects, people or situations which trigger anxiety or fear.

As mentioned above, people who suffer from Sarmassophobia try to avoid situations like love play that trigger the anxiety, but sometimes the situation gets out of hand, and it becomes worse. A person who is suffering from Sarmassophobia does not just need to be exposed to the love play situation for experiencing panic symptoms. Our brain can create a reaction of fear even we are not actually experiencing the situation.

People are different from one another, so symptoms vary from person to person experiencing Sarmassophobia. Generally, all phobias and fears, including Sarmassophobia, are anxiety disorders. Here are some symptoms of Sarmassophobia, a person, may experience. He may not experience all of them but will surely face some of them.

Physical symptoms

Those who have a fear of love play will experience panic attacks often. Panic attacks will be distressing and frightening for the person who is suffering from Sarmassophobia. These symptoms do not have prior signs and happen suddenly. Panic attacks can also lead to physical symptoms. These symptoms are as follows:

  • a sensation of butterflies in the stomach
  • pain or tightness in the chest
  • rapid heartbeat (tachycardia)
  • a choking sensation
  • hyperventilation
  • tightness in the chest/chest pain and difficulty breathing
  • a rise in blood pressure
  • hot flushes or chills
  • numbness or pins and needles
  • feeling faint
  • headaches and dizziness
  • shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
  • sweating
  • trembling
  • confusion or disorientation
  • nausea
  • dry mouth
  • a need to go to the toilet
  • ringing in your ears

Psychological symptoms

Psychological symptoms are the appearance of irrational beliefs. People having fear of love play are unable to act consciously in such situations. Negative thinking is responsible for Aversion to dating and seductive conditions. Here are Psychological symptoms of Sarmassophobia:

  • fear of losing control
  • fear of fainting or dying
  • fear of harm or illness
  • guilt, shame, self-blame
  • Withdrawing from others
  • Feeling dreadful, disconnected, sad or hopeless
  • Confusion, difficulty concentrating
  • Anger, fear, irritability, mood swings

People who have complex phobias like intertwined phobias can badly affect the daily life of people and their mental health. It becomes difficult to deal with social life and personal life. It will trigger the chain reaction of symptoms mentioned above which immediately leads to depression if not diagnosed and treated properly.

Behavioural symptoms

When people suffering from any kind of phobia experience high anxiety levels during seductive situations, they try to avoid these situations. They will try to avoid situations involving contact with the person they are sexually attracted. Because of fear of love play, they will try to flee the situation. As mentioned above, it can lead to Aversion to dating, which will affect future romantic relationships.

Things that cause sarmassophobhia

There can be several reasons and causes that trigger Sarmassophobia based on several factors. Here are some things that cause sarmassophobhia:

Bad past experiences

If you are wondering about Things that cause sarmassophobhia, this one is very common reasons behind this very rare phobia. People who have bad past experiences with dating and love play are most likely to suffer from this phobia. Stats show that 7.9% of women and 4.2 men suffer from domestic abuse. Those who have experienced child abuse and domestic abuse can suffer from Sarmassophobia. Dating a narcissist or previous humiliation can also be a root cause.

Vicarious conditioning

This situation does not involve personal experience. Which means a person may not have experienced a bad relationship in the past. But he may have seen other people have bad and traumatic experiences regarding seduction or love play. These people are very close to them.


It can be one of the Things that cause sarmassophobhia. People who are brought up by those who have transmitted a sense of danger or uncertainty regarding love play may experience Sarmassophobia. It is a very common cause, but if you tell your children the right things about it and guide them properly, they will not experience this kind of cruel phobia.

Genetic problems

We get most of our characteristics from our parents, which are transmitted through genes. There are some genetically transmitted diseases like diabetes etc. just like that fears can also be passed from parents to children. People who had a fear of love play may have passed this fear to their children in the form of fearful genes.

How to overcome Sarmassophobia

You may wonder How to overcome  Sarmassophobia? Well, it is not always easy, depending on the severity of the situation. It becomes even more difficult when a person just tries to avoid the situation that triggers the fear instead of facing it. We all should try to face our fears so that we can make ourselves stronger. Some people don’t even accept that they have a problem. Believe me, when you accept that you have a problem and you want to deal with it, you are just a few steps away from success.

If you are ready to deal with your fear and want to know How to overcome Sarmassophobia, one of the best ways is to keep in mind that you want to take good care of yourself. When you believe that you matter, you can deal with any kind of phobia that is disrupting your social or personal life and having bad effects on your health. Self-care physically and mentally is imperative.

How to cure Sarmassophobia

People who are suffering from Sarmassophobia mostly think that they don’t need any treatment. It is because they think they can avoid such a situation and thus can control the fear. But you need to keep in mind that avoiding a problem is not enough and sometimes it is impossible. It is better to ask for professional help when possible. It will help you in understanding the situation and dealing it wisely. You can also overcome your fear of love play. It is unhealthy and detrimental to avoid dating people.

If you are wondering How to cure Sarmassophobhia? Or is there any treatment? Well, you need to know that phobias are curable. We can say that there is a single treatment, but there are different strategies that can be used on the basis of severity of illness. Sometimes a combination of different strategies or treatments can prove very effective. So here are some treatments that can be used for treating Sarmassophobia patients. That does not mean you can decide your treatment on your own you still need professional help and guidance:

Talking therapies

How to cure Sarmassophobhia? Well, Talking therapies or talking treatments involve counselling or life coaching that can prove helpful to cure Sarmassophobia. In this treatment, you will talk to highly trained professionals about how you feel or think and your behaviour too. Aims of talking therapies are as follows:

  • Making you are able to recognize repeating patterns of your actions and thoughts and finding a way to change them
  • Helping you in resolving complex feelings or to find a middle way to accept and live them.
  • Helping you understand yourself better
  • Providing you a safe place to talk about your fear without passing any judgment

Cognitive-behavioural therapy

CBT treatments are based on the concept that what we perceive or think affects our behaviour. Constantly experiencing distress and anxiety can distort someone’s perception about reality. CBT is for identifying what a person perceives is close to reality or not and use strategies that can help in overcoming the false depictions.


There are several forms of meditation that can help one in dealing with Sarmassophobia. Mindfulness meditation has been proven most effective in dealing with the fear of love play. There are different ways to implements this meditation. There are also meditation applications which are specifically designed to help you with this. Mindfulness helps people in diverting their attention to some other things. It helps them refocusing their attention to somewhere that does not come up with any sort of emotional baggage, for example, suggesting them to focus on breathing and positivity.


Exposure therapy is one of the very common strategies to deal with anxiety disorders. Sarmassophobia is one such fear. In this situation, therapists will expose the person to their fear. By this, the individual can understand the severity of the fear and can plan a strategy accordingly.


For medication doctor’s advice is must, without asking a doctor, it should never be taken. Generally speaking, medication is not recommended at all to deal with phobias. Therapies are much better treatment as compared to medication. However, in some cases, medications are recommended by doctors as a temporary solution to deal with severe side effects, which include depression and anxiety. For treating these side effects, medication recommended include tranquillizers, antidepressants and beta-blockers.


Philophobia means fear of love, and it is originated from the Greek word, “filos” meaning being loved or loving. People who are suffering from Philophobia are afraid to form emotional and romantic attachments with others. It is not rare like Sarmassophobia but is very common. But these two phobias are somehow related to each other. Symptoms of Philophobia include the following:

  • You don’t have any committed relationship.
  • When any of your relationships reach commitment stage, you break up.
  • You feel restlessness and pressure when you are asked for a commitment.
  • Panic attacks are very common.

All these symptoms are just like symptoms of Sarmassophobia. Overcoming this kind of fear involves reading self-help books, going on talk therapy, counselling, life coaching and some other strategies.

Philophobia article


It is said that anxiety disorders are common, and about 13% of adults develop a specific kind of phobia at some point in their lives. Sarmassophobia is also an anxiety disorder. Sarmassophobia meaning is fear of love play which affects your romantic relationships. As a result, it becomes difficult for you to make a loving relationship in future. You are also unable to make your current relationship better. Your dating life is almost destroyed. But that does not mean you cannot deal with the situation. You can deal with your fear and lead a better life. All you need is to accept the problem and seek professional help.

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