Self Rejection

Self Rejection. Self-sabotage is a sort of self-rejection. It usually happens after we persuade ourselves that we aren’t “good enough.”

You might find yourself ruminating a little more than usual on your shortcomings or flaws, large or small. Then you might conclude that your flaws indicate that you aren’t cut out for success. You may opt to quit while you’re ahead and avoid attempting anything at all once you’ve convinced yourself that you aren’t worthy of chasing particular opportunities or reaching specific goals. This mental process sets in motion a self rejection cycle.

We don’t get to pick what goes on in our heads, but we do try. We have a hard time understanding that there are many things in life—both inside and outside of us—that we don’t choose or control and that fall short of our ideas of perfection. Acceptance versus self rejection of circumstances beyond our control or beyond our definition of perfection can help us gain resilience, but it can also cause emotional distress.

Take, for example, our lack of control or choice over how our minds develop: We don’t get to choose when we’re born; we don’t get to choose our parents; and we don’t get to choose when we’re born into their life.

We don’t get to select our parents’ (or their parents’) parenting style; we don’t get to choose the trauma they experienced before and after our birth; and we don’t get to choose how their trauma history affects their parenting. We don’t get to select our parents’ qualities, shortcomings, or the parenting style we acquire from them. We don’t get to pick how our parents teach us to parent ourselves, how they teach us to relate to our needs, thoughts, and feelings in that sense.

We did not install or elect our earliest experiences or the echoes of those experiences—the ways of thinking, feeling, and being that now live inside our minds. Much of our thinking and feeling is a function of who we were born to and when we were born. As a result, much of our mind is there by chance. We don’t get to pick our psychological talents, and, unfortunately, we don’t get to choose our neuroses.

This is an unsettling reality to confront, especially at an age when we strive for perfection and pride ourselves on feeling in command. Sigmund Freud quipped that his theories were rejected primarily because they implied people’s thoughts were not totally under their control, and it’s not unexpected that his beliefs are still unpopular.

Accidents are unpleasant for us humans, especially when they occur to us. We make every effort to avoid them. So it’s difficult to accept that most of what’s in our heads is there more by chance than by some carefully laid-out design.

It’s especially difficult to accept this when we discover things inside our heads that we label “bad,” and it’s tempting to build the illusion of control over the “badness” so that we can achieve our ideal of “perfection.” “Don’t think that way,” we tell ourselves, or “Just be happy,” or “There’s nothing to be worried about; just act natural.” We believe that saying such things to ourselves will help us manage our minds’ programming or eliminate our habitual responses.

We persuade ourselves that by using willpower or self-criticism, we can overcome our indoctrination. We make a concerted effort to reject the aspects of ourselves that we don’t like in order to make ourselves “better” or even “perfect.” One therapist lamented, “It’s terrible enough that I can’t control when I was born or when I’ll die,” but I should be able to control my thinking!

We try everything we can to keep our “bad” thoughts at bay. We devise “techniques” to help us “get better” by avoiding “bad” feelings or behaviors. We believe that by rejecting ourselves, we will be able to rid ourselves of our “badness.” Despite our efforts to reject and eradicate it, this “badness”—this confluence of ideas and feelings that we don’t want—remains inside us.

When you’re locked in a vicious cycle of self-rejection, you can turn down wonderful job interviews because you’re afraid you’ll fail anyhow, so there’s no point in trying. Because you’re afraid of being rejected, you may avoid putting yourself out there and making new acquaintances. You may begin to put less effort into your task because you are certain that no matter how hard you try, it will not turn out correctly.

So, what’s next? What can we do when we discover things inside ourselves that we didn’t want to put there, that we don’t want there, that we label “bad” yet are nonetheless present? Is it necessary to keep trying to cast away something “evil” indefinitely? Is it just complacency or giving up if we accept the “badness” we see in ourselves? What are the advantages of accepting our reality and letting go of our control and perfection fantasies? Let’s take a look at the emotional ramifications of self-rejection and self-acceptance.

Self rejection is a dangerous attitude to have, but it’s all too common.

What are the signs of self rejection?

What are the signs of self rejection? Our personalities are complex. The needs of our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits are all intertwined. Our bodies require movement and nutrition, but not in excess. Our minds and hearts require education as well as social and emotional connection, and our spirits require solace, meaning, and clarity about what we value and cherish.

You can pamper your body, but you can’t forget about your emotions. You can feed your mind while starving your spirit, or you can pursue spirituality while ignoring your instinctual life. Maintaining a superficial focus on self-image rather than investing in meaningful connections may limit what you can get out of your relationships.

We limit, reject, and sell ourselves short in an endless number of ways, and the end result is that we feel less than whole and fulfilled.

What are the signs of self rejection? There are nine major signs of self-rejection that I’ve discovered. Do you despise yourself in any of these ways?

Self-evaluation

When others judge you, do you feel rejected? On a deeper level, the same thing occurs. Self-rejection in the form of self-judgment is a common and powerful form of self-rejection.

Do you realize how you feel when you pass judgment on yourself? Or, as another prevalent kind of self-rejection, have you dulled out your feelings? Are you aware that you are likely to feel nervous, depressed, guilty, embarrassed, and/or furious when you judge yourself? Have you ever linked these emotions to your self-criticism?

The child would feel rejected, unwanted, and unlovable if you said things like “You’re pathetic,” “You’re stupid,” “You’re ugly,” “There’s something wrong with you,” “You’re not good enough,” and so on. When you judge yourself, the same thing happens. You can begin to see why evaluating yourself is a type of self-rejection if you envision yourself making these judgments toward a young child within you.

You are constantly comparing yourself to others.

Compared to others, oneself is entirely natural. Those comparisons, on the other hand, can soon cross the line and become obsessions. Simple concerns about how your work compares to that of your peers can quickly escalate into fears of never being able to advance in your profession.

You can be in the early phases of self-rejection if you’re continually comparing yourself to others and focused on where you think you fall short.

Isolating Yourself.

This indication usually applies to your personal life more than anything else. Because you’re afraid others won’t accept you, you might want to isolate yourself rather than communicate with others. Rather than face the prospect of rejection from others, you reject yourself and flee the issue entirely.

Ignoring Your Emotions By Staying Inside Your Head

Many of us have learned to ignore our discomfort by disconnecting from our bodies, which contain our sensations, and instead focusing on our minds. However, just as real children feel rejected when their feelings are ignored, the kid within you feels rejected when you dismiss your feelings. Because your inner child is your experienced self, staying in your mind and disconnecting from your feelings means denying a crucial piece of yourself.

Changing Your Goals Because You’re Afraid You Won’t Achieve Them

There’s nothing wrong with changing and adapting your goals to meet your lifestyle and ambitions. However, you may be engaging in self-rejection if you’ve started lowering the bar for yourself simply because you don’t believe you’ll be able to achieve your most ambitious goals.

This is a common occurrence in both academia and business. Many women watch their male classmates and superiors achieve their goals and climb the corporate ladder, and they begin to believe that they will never be able to do so.

Addictions as a Remedy for Avoiding Emotions

To avoid feeling your feelings, did you learn to use food, drugs, or alcohol, cigarettes, TV, video games, sex, or the Internet? Did you learn to cut yourself, pick at your skin, pick at your nails, and rip your hair out in order to avoid emotional suffering by inflicting some level of physical agony? Did you become anorexic or bulimic as a way to manage your emotions?

Just as a real child will feel rejected if you consistently give him a cookie and put him in front of the TV instead of compassionately addressing the pain he is expressing, or if you buy her a new dress instead of lovingly attending to her feelings, your inner child will feel rejected by you if you turn to addictions instead of compassionately embracing and learning from your feelings.

When you turn to addictions, you may believe you are rewarding yourself, but if you neglect your feelings in any way, you will experience the anxiety, melancholy, guilt, humiliation, or fury that comes with self-rejection. To avoid these feelings, you reject yourself even more by making self-judgments, ignoring your feelings, staying in your head, and/or turning to your addictions.

Letting Others Decide Your Life’s Path

Consider the following scenario: You’ve always wished to be a talented writer. It’s what you enjoy doing. After years of perfecting your skills and expressing yourself creatively, your lecturer or supervisor analyzes your work and tells you that technical writing is a better fit for you.

Sure, there’s nothing wrong with trying new things and investigating different options. You’re allowing self-rejection to seep in once you start giving up on your aspirations and settle into the path others prescribe for you. You’re afraid of going against the tide and fighting for what you want, so you stay with what feels secure.

Making Others Accountable for Your Emotional Well-Being

Did you grow up believing that it was up to others to make you feel safe and valuable? While our parents were responsible for this when we were children, it is now our responsibility as adults to provide ourselves with the loving attention and acceptance we require to feel lovable and worthy. Even if someone else loves you, you will not feel loved and worthy if you reject yourself in the aforementioned ways.

Did you learn to give up or become enraged at others in order to obtain affection and avoid taking responsibility for your emotions? If you had a real child and were continuously on the lookout for someone to care for him or her, someone to give your child away to, that child would feel constantly rejected by you. On a deeper level, the situation is the same. When you don’t want to take responsibility for gently managing your own feelings and instead look for someone to provide you with what your parents may not have given you, your inner child feels severely rejected by you. Here are some more songs about self-rejection.

Ignoring your true feelings and instincts.

When we engage in a self-rejection loop, we tend to put our genuine feelings and emotions on the backburner. You may begin to believe that your own views and beliefs are insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

This one is especially relevant to women. Our male superiors may perceive us as immature or too emotional if we express our sentiments or follow our hearts.

It all boils down to a fear of being rejected or failing. If you’re suffering from self-rejection, you might be afraid that your feelings are incorrect or that your intuition will lead you to failure. You ignore your inner voice and do what you think you’re supposed to do instead of listening to it.

Self rejection quotes

“I kept running around it in large or small circles, always looking for someone or something able to convince me of my Belovedness. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved”. Being the Beloved expresses the core truth of our existence.”

—Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World

“The general conception that all actors are born exhibitionists is far from the truth. They are quite the opposite. They are shy, frightened people in hiding from themselves- people who have found a way of concealing their secret by footlights, make up and the parts they play. Their own self rejection is what has made most of them actors.”

― Moss Hart, Act One

“Self-rejection is simply seen as the neurotic expression of an insecure person. But neurosis is often the psychic manifestation of a much deeper human darkness: the darkness of not feeling truly welcome in human existence. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voics that calls us the “Beloved.”

― Henri J.M. Nouwen

“You are a whispering diamond, turning in the sun, articulating the one thing the sky wants to say, in a million different ways.”

― Curtis Tyrone Jones

“It’s about my own self-concept. Can I accept that I am worth looking for? Here lies the core of my spiritual struggle: the struggle against self-rejection, self-contempt, and self-loathing. It is a very fierce battle because the world and its demons conspire to make me think about myself as worthless, useless, and negligible. As long as I am kept “small,” I can easily be seduced to buy things, meet people, or go places that promise a radical change in self-concept even though they are totally incapable of bringing this about. But every time I allow myself to be thus manipulated or seduced, I will have still more reasons for putting myself down and seeing myself as the unwanted child.”

― Henri J.M. Nouwen

“As a self-rejecting person always in search of affirmation and affection, I find it impossible to love consistently without asking for something in return.”

― Henri J.M. Nouwen

How do I stop rejecting myself?

How do I stop rejecting myself? Recognizing that you’re doing it is the first step toward ending self-rejection. There are a few things you can do to break the pattern once you’ve noticed the indications and understand that you’re sabotaging yourself.

Determine the source of the problem.

When you understand what’s causing your self-rejection, you’ll be able to move forward.

Your self-rejection, like the causes of shyness, may be linked to how people treated you in the past, such as when you were a child or during a tough time in your life. Perhaps you’ve been rejected by someone you thought would stand by your side rather than tear you down.

Whatever the case may be, please keep in mind that you are free to craft your own story from here on out. You must pick yourself up, even if others reject you. You must continue to choose yourself by allowing your own actions and goals, rather than the views of others, to define you.

Recognize that you are your own worst enemy.

This can be difficult to accept, but no one usually assesses your work or conduct as harshly as you do. What you consider to be your most humiliating failure is unlikely to even cross the minds of the people who matter most in your life. If it does, they’re probably not silently condemning or criticizing you as harshly as you think.

Change your perspective on others to one that is more realistic.

You should also avoid putting others on a pedestal if you want to overcome self-rejection.

Don’t let other people’s success make you feel insufficient; instead, use it to motivate you to take action. Recognize that the individuals you like are able to consistently achieve good achievements on a consistent basis because they work hard and put themselves in the path of opportunities that will help them achieve their objectives.

See where it takes you if you say yes to more of the things you desire for yourself. Doors that you believed were closed may start to open unexpectedly.

Accept Your Feelings And Intuitions.

Your emotions and thoughts are significant and powerful. You, like everyone else on the earth, are entitled to have your voice heard. Avoid suppressing your emotions and going with the flow rather than stating your views.

Even if your peers or superiors disagree with you or don’t understand what you’re going through, they’ll probably admire you for speaking up. You’ll also feel terrific knowing that you’re being loyal to yourself.

Make yourself your best buddy.

You must be your own best friend in a world when most individuals are preoccupied with their own problems and difficulties.

As I previously stated, we frequently speak to ourselves in ways we would never tolerate from others. So pay more attention to what you think and say about yourself, and make sure you’re putting yourself in a good light.

When describing yourself, whether inwardly or when speaking to others, avoid employing negative labels. Show yourself the same kindness you’d show a friend: be soft yet persistent in pushing yourself to do the things you’re afraid of.

Remind yourself of how wonderful you are.

This may sound trite, but it’s extremely crucial. If you’re a list-maker like me, compile a list of the qualities you admire in yourself. Make a list of your strengths, best attributes, and most significant accomplishments.

Pull out your list when you start to sense self-doubt creeping in and remind yourself that you are deserving and capable of great things.

Self rejection psychology

Self rejection psychology. We are all therapists in some ways. Each of us has developed our own style of self-help that we have learnt and refined throughout our lives. A typical method of self-therapy is to “cure by self-rejection.” No one ever calls it that anymore—we call it “self-improvement” or “making progress,” and we do it with the greatest of intentions.

When we examine our thinking, we discover that many of us approach self-improvement, which appears to be a good thing, from a place of self-rejection: “I have identified something inside me as bad; I did not put it there, and I do not want it there, because it contradicts my fantasy of becoming perfect.” Now I have to ‘better myself’ by figuring out a way to get rid of this badness and return to perfection. Please, as soon as possible, if not sooner! ”

Self rejection psychology. Self-acceptance does not give us the same sense of purification, perfection, and control as self-rejection provides, and as a result, it may be less appealing when the need for change is pressing. If, on the other hand, we’ve tried self-rejection, seen the outcomes, and understood why we believed it was a good idea at the time, we might be able to start accepting ourselves and see what occurs.

Self-rejection can bring about some changes, at least in the short term. For as long as I have the energy to do so in the name of “self-improvement,” I can force myself to like things I don’t like or stop loving things I do enjoy for as long as I can put up the effort. I can argue myself out of doing what comes easily to me by using “logic.”

But those of us who have lied before know that suppressing the truth and keeping the lie going requires a lot of time and energy; the liar is the one who has to deal with the truth the most. In order to cure ourselves through self-rejection, we must tell ourselves a lie: “I don’t feel/think/need it anymore.” Even when we witness how the “bad” idea or feeling we’re trying to reject keeps popping up, we think to ourselves, “I’m perfected/fixed now.”

We are serious about our efforts to “heal ourselves through self-rejection”—we truly believe self-rejection will assist us! We imagine that using self-rejection tactics will relieve us of the responsibilities that our early experiences inadvertently placed on us.

We believe that rejecting ourselves will lead to the self-love and sense of perfection that we all desire. However, many of us discover that practicing self-rejection simply serves to improve our self-rejection skills, which can lead to self-hate, depression, and other forms of misery. What do we do now that we have this fresh knowledge?

We could be tempted to reject the self-rejection we’ve noticed in ourselves, as if rejecting ourselves can help us stop rejecting ourselves. On paper, it may appear stupid, but you’d be amazed at how appealing this strategy can be! Then therapy may feel like a never-ending home renovation project in which we keep discovering new self-rejections to “fix,” but our tool for fixing (self-rejection) keeps making us feel even more broken.

This unavoidably makes us feel like we’re failing in treatment and in life; as a result, some people stop going to therapy. But what if the issue isn’t with us? What if the issue is self-rejection? What happens if that’s the case?

Self rejection is the greatest enemy

Self rejection is the greatest enemy because it goes against the sacred voice that calls us the Beloved. Henri Nouwen (Henri Nouwen)

Self rejection is the greatest enemy in our lives, not success, status, or power. Success, popularity, and power can all be seductive, but they are often part of a broader temptation: refusing to embrace yourself.

Success, popularity, and power are easily regarded as quick answers to the problem when we consent to trusting the voices that deem us useless and unworthy. But the real snare is refusing to accept yourself for who you are. It never ceases to amaze me how easily we fall prey to this enticement. Once they are criticised, rejected, betrayed, or abandoned, many people think to themselves, “Well, now it’s evident that I am nothing again.”

Many people blame themselves not just for what they have done but also for who they are, rather than critically assessing all conditions and sorting out their own and others’ skills. Their dark side whispers, “I am a useless person. I only deserve to be driven away, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned.”

You might notice that you’re becoming more prone to hubris. Isn’t arrogance, on the other hand, the opposite face of self-rejection? Isn’t it true that an arrogant guy puts himself on a pedestal so that no one sees him for who he truly is? After all, isn’t arrogance just another technique to get rid of your feelings of inadequacy? Self-denial and hubris both rip us from reality and make harmonious coexistence extremely difficult, if not impossible.

Your arrogance conceals a good deal of doubt, just as pride conceals your inability to accept yourself. Whether it’s due to excessive pride or a lack of self-esteem, you lose touch with who you really are and your perception of reality gets warped.

I hope you can recognize the urge to reject yourself, whether it’s manifested as arrogance or low self-esteem. Self-rejection is frequently regarded as a neurotic symptom of insecurity. The dark aspect of the soul, deeply hidden from everyone, often makes itself felt in neurosis, through the human psyche: the agonizing feeling that you cannot find your place beneath the sun. The greatest adversary of spiritual life is self-rejection, because it contradicts the voice from above calling you “Beloved.”

Self Rejection Adalah

Self Rejection Adalah. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy when you reject yourself.

You immobilize yourself before you even try when you reject yourself. You separate yourself from people and possibilities, which means you remain stationary and have no possibility of achieving the outcome you desire.

However, this is only because you’ve obstructed your own path.

Self Rejection Adalah “Don’t reject yourself before someone else has a chance to reject you.” That’s a profound statement.

Because you can change that negative self-fulfilling prophesy into a positive one, it demonstrates that you have more power than you may have realized. Instead of holding yourself back, you may empower yourself. Let’s have a look at some options…

1: Start to recognize your own brilliance.Take some time this week to get a better understanding of who you are, what you have to offer, and what you’ve already accomplished in your life and career that is beneficial, significant, and worthwhile. If you’re a professional, feel free to take my free Career Path Self-Assessment to reflect on the significant successes and achievements you’ve made that have impacted the world.) Also, watch my TEDx lecture “Time to Brave Up” to discover how to express yourself and the “20 facts about you.”

#2. Identify your top concerns that are keeping you from being more honest and amazing in the world.Some women might say this after reading this: “I just don’t love myself, so how can I fake it?” Because we’ve been socialized to believe that if we love ourselves, we’ll be self-centered, greedy, and consumed.

Also, many of us have had childhoods that taught us that we aren’t good enough until we act in ways that aren’t true to who we are. If this describes you, take the time (and seek outside help if necessary) to understand the beliefs, mindsets, and fears that prevent you from expressing and loving the true you in the world. Recognize where those thoughts and attitudes that you’re not good enough as you are came from.

Most likely, it was destructive messages you heard as a youngster that informed you that you weren’t living up to your parents’ and society’s wild, impossible standards. (And having narcissistic parents wreaks havoc on our self-esteem and self-worth in ways that most people don’t realize.)

Stop putting off what you really want and start pursuing it. Continue to move forward despite the rejection. In a recent Forbes interview with the inspirational bestselling author Harriet Lerner, titled “What Selling 3 Million Copies of “The Dance of Anger” Has Taught Renowned Psychologist Harriet Lerner,” she said the following regarding rejection: “In reality, there’s only one way to avoid the agony of rejection: sit silently in a corner and take no chances.” Many rejections will make us want to curl up in a corner and never put ourselves “out there” again if we live fearlessly.

Allowing yourself to remain in that dark corner for an extended period of time is not a good idea. Get out there and get some more rejections. You can take a break, but don’t allow rejection to hold you back. ” I’ve learnt that self-love, as well as coping with rejection in a robust, self-affirming manner, is critical in today’s world. You simply cannot have a good, meaningful, and happy life and career—or properly serve others—unless you learn to move through rejection (from yourself and others) and discover new ways to love and accept yourself more fully, flaws, gaps, and foibles included.

Self rejection effects

Self rejection effects. It should come as no surprise that rejection has a significant influence on the body, resulting in anything from physical aches and pains to hormonal changes and even withdrawal-like symptoms. After a difficult breakup, job loss, or the end of a friendship, these things can occur. While these scenarios may not always result in negative consequences, don’t be startled if you find them particularly challenging.

Dr. Catherine Jackson, a licensed clinical psychologist and board-certified neurotherapist, tells Bustle, “Your brain processes rejection, or emotional anguish, in the same way it processes physical pain.” And, according to Vivian F. Zhang, MSW, RSW, a clinical therapist, this is partly due to evolution, because humans have a better chance of surviving in social groups than on their own.

Self rejection effects. Rejection hurts because we’re wired to desire to be accepted. It’s also why getting past it may be so difficult. However, there are steps you can take to expedite the process and see the light at the end of the tunnel. It can help to reframe the circumstance so that it has less of an impact on your general well-being, as Jackson suggests.

Therapy can also be beneficial since it can assist you in coming to terms with your feelings while also teaching you how to manage and move on. With that in mind, here are some of the physical changes that can occur when you’re feeling rejected, as well as what to do about it, according to specialists.

Your Hormones Have the Ability to Change.

Because “our brains love to be in love,” says Elisa Robyn, PhD, a consultant who specializes in heartbreak, romantic rejection can be one of the most agonizing experiences. “Our bodies release phenethylamine, dopamine, cortisol, and oxytocin when we are in love.” These hormones are what make us joyful and keep us focused on the people we care about. Robyn adds, “Food tastes better, the day seems brighter, and we feel stronger.”

After a breakup, these love hormones are no longer the primary chemicals in your brain, which can be physically and emotionally uncomfortable. “Now, instead of being showered in loving feel-good hormones, our brain is soaking up cortisol and epinephrine,” Robyn adds, referring to the stress-induced heart-pounding “fight-or-flight” chemicals. And that can be a difficult step to make.

It Will Hurt Your Body.

After rejection, cortisol and adrenaline are also released into the body. “Too much cortisol will enlarge our muscles, which are prepared for ‘war,'” explains Robyn. This is due to the fight-or-flight reaction, which means your body is attempting to figure out what to do in response to a stressful shift.

Muscle swelling can cause physical pain like aches and pains after a breakup, which is why Robyn recommends running, walking, or working out to help you feel better.

Digestion may be harmed.

“While blood is being directed to our muscles in preparation for “war,” blood is not being directed to our digestive system,” Robyn explains. “This might cause classic nausea and being unable to eat sensations,” which can happen after a big rejection, such as a breakup.

Robyn claims that moving and exercising can help with intestinal issues. Even if you don’t feel like taking a stroll or stopping by the gym on your way home from work, it can make you feel better.

It’s True That Your Heart Can Hurt

That “heartache” sensation is, once again, a very real side effect of rejection. “Rejection can feel physically painful because it travels along the same neural brain pathways as when we are physically damaged and in pain,” Zhang explains.

Heartbreak can occur when a romantic relationship ends, but it can also occur when you are rejected by family or friends. “The difference in terms of social rejection could be that these terrible memories are far more successfully held in our amygdala and hippocampus, which are our memory [centers] in the brain,” Zhang explains. As a result, comparable social rejection experiences will trigger painful memories and exacerbate the pain response.

The brain has the ability to ponder

The brain may do itself a disservice by fixating on emotional pain just as it can obsess over physical pain, such as a stubbed toe or broken arm-it can be difficult to think about anything else when those things happen.

“Both the brain and the body are affected by rejection,” Jackson explains. “The brain prioritizes the anguish of rejection just as it does physical pain, which is why your mind ruminates on it.” When the body is in physical agony, the same brain regions that are activated when you are rejected are also activated. As a result, your brain is in excruciating anguish. ”

You Have the Option to Lose Your “Mental Map”

Rejection is emotionally tough because it causes you to evaluate possibilities you may not have desired or cared about. And, in many cases, this only serves to amplify your bad feelings.

“The concepts and thoughts we have about relationships are particularly interesting,” Zhang adds, “because in partnerships, we develop mental maps to help us set expectations and plan things out.” “What frequently happens during rejections and ghosting is that the person’s image is damaged, and the mental maps we’ve developed are shattered.” Individuals find it difficult to reconcile reality with their ideas. ”

However, talking to friends or even going to therapy can make it easier. You’ll be able to focus on making new plans while still dealing with the rejection more easily if you go through this process.

You Have the Option of Going Into Withdrawal

Loving relationships, according to Robyn, can be addictive because they flood your brain with feel-good hormones and make you happy. So it’s understandable if you experience withdrawal following a rejection.

“We also lose the physical closeness and companionship that we enjoy in partnerships,” she explains. “Our minds are perplexed and lonely.” We may be prone to forgetfulness and an inability to concentrate. This is partly because we’re attempting to re-create the emotions and hormones we’ve lost. ”

This is, once again, similar to an addiction. “Thinking about our ex might actually give us a brief dopamine rush,” Robyn explains, “which keeps us thinking about our past.”

It Has the Potential to Cause Brain Fog.

It’s fairly uncommon to go through a phase after rejection where you don’t feel like yourself. Dr. Cali Estes, a mental health specialist and life coach, tells Bustle that this can appear as brain fog, as well as other symptoms like irritability, headaches, and even phantom pains.

When you’re in the middle of things, it may seem too good to be true, but going out and having fun on purpose may be quite beneficial. “Exercise […] and getting out in the sun and having a nice time are ways to overcome this,” Estes explains. “The goal is to keep your spirits up so you don’t feel depressed or as if you’re missing out, which can lead to anxiety and dissatisfaction.”

It may cause anxiety and/or depression.

“Rejection causes hurt feelings and unhappiness, as well as increased anxiety and depression symptoms,” says Jaclyn Lopez Witmer, a licensed clinical psychologist. It can also have a negative effect on your self-esteem, leading you to search for reasons why you were rejected.

Someone who struggles with self-esteem and self-worth may feel unlovable in other relationships in their life, “Lopez Witmer explains.” Of course, this can be dangerous, which is why talking to friends, family, and/or a therapist about what happened is so important to hear alternative perspectives and, most importantly, to be reminded of how loved and supported you are, that this is so hard and sucks, and that you will get through it.

There’s no doubt that rejection, in any form, is a tough experience. You may endure physical and mental anguish as a result of the way it affects your body. But, until you acclimate, there are ways to get through it and take care of yourself.

Self rejection conclusion

Self rejection conclusion. Self-rejection is deceptive and harmful. We all deal with it, but I believe we’re all capable of overcoming our fears, achieving our goals, and finding happiness in our lives.

To wrap things up, let’s talk about FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).

It’s not often that we discuss FOMO as a positive thing. We usually advise people to do their own thing and not be concerned about missing out on what others are doing.

FOMO, on the other hand, is the ideal cure for self-rejection.

Why?

Because if you don’t try to conquer your self-doubt, your entire life will flash before your eyes. Because you didn’t choose them for yourself, you’ll miss out on the joys and chances that others have-whether in business, career, or personal life. Surely, the agony of staying the same (and continuing to reject yourself) is greater than the anguish of change when you consider a life of regret and discontent.

Let me say it again: when you reject yourself, you will regret it.

However, you can choose to experience a different “r” right now by accepting yourself, pursuing your goals, and actually allowing yourself to taste the joys of a well-lived life.

Further reading

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