The Mother Of His Children Still Wants Him What Do I Do? | M.D.D Dating Coach, Couples Therapy, Breakup Counselling, Personal development Consultancy

Table of Contents hide

1 The Mother of His Children Still Wants Him — What Do I Do?

2 First, Understand the Situation You’re In

3 Why the Mother of His Children Might Still Be Around (Or Acting Territorial)

4 Before You React — Ask Yourself a Few Honest Questions

5 What Healthy Co‑Parenting Should Look Like

6 How to Handle It Without Causing More Conflict

7 If the Mother of His Children Is Disrespecting You

8 When You Need to Step Back

9 Show Maturity — But Prioritize Self‑Respect

10 Final Thoughts — Patience, Love, and Limits

11 Further reading

The Mother of His Children Still Wants Him — What Do I Do?

Dating someone who has children from a previous relationship can be incredibly rewarding — but also very complicated.
You knew he came with responsibilities, but you didn’t expect to feel like you’re sharing him emotionally with someone else — his ex, the mother of his children.

Now you’re seeing messages, phone calls, or interaction that feels too friendly for your comfort, and your heart says, “I think she still wants him — what do I do?”

Let’s talk this through, step by step.

First, Understand the Situation You’re In

A man’s children are a permanent part of his life. That means their mother — in some way — always will be too. If you’ve chosen to love and be with a man who has kids, this dynamic is something you must approach with maturity, empathy, and clear communication.

Sometimes, your discomfort isn’t really about the ex — it’s about how your partner handles boundaries. Other times, it’s genuine disrespect from her side. Either way, you’ll need balance, patience, and honesty to sort through it.

Why the Mother of His Children Might Still Be Around (Or Acting Territorial)

Not every baby mother drama comes from jealousy, but let’s be honest — sometimes old emotions linger.
Here are a few common reasons she may appear to still want him:

Nostalgia and familiarity. They share history, kids, and routines. She may be reminiscing about the life they once had.
Emotional attachment. Even though they’ve broken up, feelings don’t always disappear when a child connects them for life.
Control or insecurity. Some women don’t want their ex back but also don’t want him truly happy elsewhere.
Genuine friendship. It’s possible there’s nothing romantic happening — they may simply communicate well for the children’s sake.

The key is figuring out whether it’s genuine co‑parenting or blurred emotional boundaries — and whether your partner is managing the situation respectfully.

Before You React — Ask Yourself a Few Honest Questions

Do I trust my partner?
If trust is missing, even innocent contact with his ex will feel threatening.
Has he clearly communicated with her?
Has he made boundaries clear that their relationship is only about the children now?
Are your fears driven by her actions — or your insecurities?
Sometimes jealousy comes from our own worries rather than real evidence.
How comfortable am I with dating a man with children?
This is an important question. Dating a parent demands maturity and emotional patience.
Has my partner reassured me and included me in his life enough to feel safe?
Trust grows when transparency exists.

Answer these honestly before jumping to conclusions.

What Healthy Co‑Parenting Should Look Like

A responsible father will communicate with his children’s mother — but within clear, respectable boundaries.

Here’s what’s normal:

Updates about the children’s welfare.
Coordinating school or health schedules.
Shared events like birthdays or holidays for the kids.

Here’s what’s not acceptable:

Private or flirty conversations unrelated to the kids.
Late-night calls or secret messages.
Trips down memory lane about their past relationship.

If your partner’s communication looks more like the second list, then it’s time for a serious conversation.

How to Handle It Without Causing More Conflict

Stay calm and grounded.
Don’t accuse or attack. You’ll get better results with emotional control.
Say, “I understand you need to communicate with her, but some interactions are making me uncomfortable.”
Focus on the behaviour, not the person.
Avoid phrases like “she’s a problem.” Instead, focus on how boundaries are being blurred.
Ask for consistency.
Your partner should reassure you through transparency — not secrecy.
For example, you shouldn’t have to wonder if he’s hiding conversations.
Show empathy — but hold your boundaries.
Recognize that as a mother, her life is emotionally tied to her child’s father.
Still, that doesn’t mean she has a right to disrespect your relationship.
Decide where you draw the line.
If you’ve calmly explained your discomfort and nothing changes, you have a decision to make.
Ask yourself — can I continue in this relationship without resentment?

If the Mother of His Children Is Disrespecting You

If she’s crossing boundaries — calling him constantly, insulting you, or showing hostility — this is where your partner must step up.

He has a responsibility to protect both relationships: his with the children and his with you.
That means he should:

Set respectful boundaries.
Reassure his ex that the new relationship must be respected.
Support you emotionally through the challenges of co‑parenting.

If he refuses or avoids these conversations, that’s a red flag about his maturity, not just her behaviour.

A real man balances his family responsibilities without making his partner feel secondary.

When You Need to Step Back

If the situation consistently causes emotional distress and nothing changes despite honest communication, it might be time to evaluate your peace.

Ask:

Am I being respected?
Am I competing for attention in a relationship that should feel secure?
Is this relationship making me more anxious than happy?

You deserve to be with someone who protects your emotional space — not one who uses the “co‑parenting” excuse to maintain emotional ties with an ex.

Show Maturity — But Prioritize Self‑Respect

You can be compassionate without being a pushover.
You can understand his responsibilities while still expecting loyalty and clear boundaries.

Always remember:

His children are part of him — but his past relationship isn’t part of you.
You can support his parenting role without tolerating disrespect.
Love thrives on mutual trust, not constant explanations.

As Miss Date Doctor says:

“Be fair, be kind, but always be clear about what you will and won’t accept.”

If it becomes too heavy to manage on your own, consider couples guidance with Miss Date Doctor Relationship Counselling for neutral support in setting realistic boundaries.

Final Thoughts — Patience, Love, and Limits

If you’re thinking, “The mother of his children still wants him — what do I do?”, the answer is: stay calm, stay classy, but stay aware.

You can’t control her behaviour, but you can control your own boundaries and reactions.
If your partner truly loves and respects you, he’ll make sure you never have to question your place in his life.

Co‑parenting takes maturity from everyone involved. Try to see things from her perspective, but don’t let that empathy silence your needs.

Because at the end of the day — you’re his present, not his past.
Focus on building your future, not fighting his history.

**#BabyMotherProblems #RelationshipAdvice #MissDateDoctor