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Dating Coach London Counselling

Dating Coach London Counselling

Dating Coach London Counselling 1

Dating Coach London Counselling. Dating coaching aims to help people be more conscious in their dating, so that, with enhanced awareness, their activities and choices better serve them to attract and create a successful love relationship.

 

Above all, dating coaching helps individuals to hold on to and be true to themselves, ensuring that they do not lose track of who they are while they are swept into the early “falling in love” phase of a new relationship.

 

Remember we have a desire and a drive for closeness in a relationship and therefore, a desire and drive not to lose them. Often, to not lose them, we start to discard parts of ourselves that we think they might not like or that might not fit with elements of who they are.

 

We may do this consciously or unconsciously, but the result is that it becomes harder and harder to hold onto our authenticity and know who we are in the relationship. Until one day we might think, “Hold up. This isn’t me. I’ve lost myself here.” This can be prevented by holding to ourselves from the outset, even before meeting our future partner.

 

What Is Conscious Dating?

 

Dating Coach London Counselling. Conscious dating is about being aware and awake to who you are and what you want and, purposefully, looking for that. Unfortunately, we often are so unconscious in our dating that we just fall into relationships rather than figuring out whether or not the relationship will work for us.

 

When preparing to date more consciously, the biggest question to ask ourselves is “Who am I?” The thing is we get so distracted by so many other things that we’re not present for or tuned into ourselves and other people, and we’re not practicing things like mindfulness and awareness.

 

Being conscious in our dating means taking the time to be still with ourselves and figuring out who we are and what we want. It’s important to not only know this but to be purposefully aware and shape our actions accordingly.

 

How to be more conscious on your next date

Dating Coach London Counselling 2

Dating Coach London Counselling. The hottest, most conscious thing you can do is to be present and attentive to the person sitting across from you. (Yes, this includes turning off your phone!) Look into their eyes. Listen to what they’re saying, maybe even repeat back to them what they’re saying.

 

Use your active listening skills. Be attentively interested in who is sitting across from you. And be vulnerable yourself. Share something about you. In a long-term relationship, recall some of the great experiences you’ve shared, memories of when you first met, or things you want to do or discover together in the future.

 

Dating is a roller coaster. Whether you’re looking for a casual situation or hoping to settle down, dating comes with the ups and downs of anticipation, rejection, exhilaration, infatuation, boredom, and burnout, to name just a few emotions.

 

On top of that, dating can be a challenging life transition for those who are entering the scene post-breakup, divorce, or widowhood. I have worked with many clients who came to therapy hoping to work through some of the blocks that were holding them back in love.

 

In Dating Coach London Counselling, we were able to shed light on the emotions and mental scripts that were getting in the way—and revitalize their experience.

 

If you are happy being single that is a very positive place to be. There are many advantages to not having a partner – for example, you can be more focused on your career or studies. At times though, it is not easy always being single in a society that often promotes being in a couple as the status quo.

 

If you would like to share your life with someone and that isn’t happening to you at this point, then it can feel painful and lonely. This can be especially difficult if you have found that your friends are getting married or moving in with their partners and this isn’t the case for you.

 

Perhaps you have been single for a very long time and you are sick of it, or maybe you find yourself single again after a relationship breakup or bereavement, or it may be that you have been in the dating game for a while and it hasn’t brought you the relationship you really

 

For some people joining a dating site provides a quick solution, but for others, this alone does not provide all the answers.

 

However, there are ways of breaking out of being alone to having healthy relationships where you are in a strong position to find the partner you desire.

 

At Dating Coach London Counselling Miss Date Doctor, one of the strategies we might look at is to take a relationship inventory with you.

 

This would be for you and your counsellor together to make a list of all the people you have had relationships with or dated. When the list is complete and with the support of your counsellor you can start to make links between your dates/partners and often a pattern will emerge.

 

This gives you important information about what kind of person you are attracted to and who is drawn to you including:

 

  • What the positives were during the relationship
  • Examine the negatives during the relationship
  • What signals or clues there were during the relationship about the outcome of the relationship.
  • How you might like to proceed in the future with this information

 

 

You and your counsellor would also have time together to explore your thoughts and feelings about relationships, attraction, and the dating process.

 

You may also like to take a look at your past and present relationships, how you interact with others, how you express your feelings, sex, and sexuality, how your relationships develop, and how you might like some change in the future.

 

Other areas we may look at during your sessions:

 

  • How your original family may influence your partner’s choice
  • Boundaries during the dating process
  • Your expectations of a partner

 

This would give you a clearer idea of what you want from a close relationship, what your values are, what to do when there is conflict, clues that the relationship is going well, the role of your friends in relationships, and how you can build a relationship from the first meeting to a place of intimacy.

 

If you found it helpful you would then form a plan together with your counsellor, for going forward in relationships and dating.

 

Counselling focused on singleness will result in:

 

  • Understanding why you may be drawn to people who disappoint
  • Having a stronger sense of yourself and what you bring to dating
  • Increase your confidence and communication skills
  • Putting past relationships in perspective
  • Become attracted to more healthy people

 

How Dating Counselling And Coaching Can Help

Dating Coach London Counselling 3

Dating Coach London Counselling. You want to love and be loved. You deserve to be seen for who you are—imperfect but wonderful. You want to find dating relationships that lift you rather than discourage you.

 

Better dating experiences start with the core — a healthy you — and work outward from there.

 

  • Instead of just getting simplistic advice, dating counseling and coaching can help you work on the core issues that lead to better relationships.
  • Discover more self-compassion.
  • Learn how to set healthy boundaries.
  • Your counselor can help you understand and heal from past experiences.
  • Dating coaching can help you identify what you truly value, and build self-respect by living authentically while growing toward your potential.
  • Your dating coach can help you learn how to build a secure, loving connection with others.
  • You don’t have to go it alone—call today to get the support you need.

 

You’ve probably seen therapists who describe “dating and relationships” as one of their treatment specialties. Have you ever wondered how exactly Dating Coach London Counselling can make a difference in your dating life?

 

  1. Clarify what you want

For some, dating is complicated because they are not quite sure what they’re looking for. Our culture, community, family, and social media feed might put certain expectations on what dating is supposed to achieve, but those ideas can zap the joy out of dating and make it feel pressured instead.

 

Therapy can be a space to unpack the source of those expectations and to reflect on how much they do (or don’t!) align with your personal goals. On a deeper level, a therapist can guide you in exploring your values and emotions, and in understanding any ambivalence or fears that might be holding you back.

 

  1. Understand your attachment style

There are plenty of internet quizzes out there to tell you what your favorite noodle says about your style of love. While pasta preference might not provide the most helpful dating insight, we each indeed have a relationship style.

 

Counsellors use the term “attachment style” to describe the very real and very powerful pattern of relating to others that each one of us starts to form when we are just babies. Our attachment styles are shaped by the way love and care were provided in our families.

 

Research shows that our early attachment style tends to predict our relationship style in adulthood, often without us realizing it. Counsellors who specialize in psychodynamic, relational, and schema-focused work can help you bring these patterns to light. This, in turn, can help break the cycle of dating the same kind of partner over and over that just isn’t working for you.

 

  1. Boost your confidence

Dating Coach London Counselling. What can be more vulnerable than dating? Putting yourself out there for the scrutiny of a virtual stranger, offering your heart, and maybe letting someone know everything about you (eep!).

 

The prospect is daunting for anyone, and all the more so if you already struggle with self-esteem. A therapist can work with you to understand how your own “self-talk” (the way you relate to yourself in your mind) is affecting your self-esteem, and to grow your self-worth so that you find partners who are worth your while.

 

Counsellors are also a place where you can learn about your “locus of control,” which is psychologist-speak for the degree of agency and power you feel in your choices.

 

Therapy is a great place to boost your confidence because the very act of pursuing therapy is a practice of valuing yourself.

 

  1. Process grief

Remember when we said that dating is vulnerable? It is also an exercise in intimacy and loss on a rapid cycle. Heartbreak is painful. Rejection is painful. Being ghosted is painful. Of course, this pain is compounded if you are back on the dating scene after a death or broken relationship. Or you might be aching for something or someone you never had but wished you could have.

 

Sometimes, you might hit a wall in dating because there is grief that needs to be addressed and processed. A therapist who works with loss, separation, and grief can guide you in working through your emotions, properly saying goodbye, and opening your heart to someone new.

 

  1. Reduce interfering symptoms

For many people, psychological issues like generalized anxiety, major depression, manic episodes, or post-traumatic stress make the process of dating a real challenge. It is hard to make dinner plans when you are having trouble just getting out of bed or trying to deal with panic attacks.

 

You are not alone. Therapy that actively targets these symptoms can reduce your suffering and expand your bandwidth for dating. As just two examples: cognitive behavioral therapy can effectively reduce symptoms like obsessions/compulsions and panic, and trauma-focused therapy can reduce PTSD-related memories and flashbacks.

 

  1. Develop your skills

Dating Coach London Counselling. Do you know when someone has a great “game”? They have the set of skills that make them a great dater: putting together an attractive profile, starting and holding a witty conversation, being attentive, and following up just the right amount.

 

Dating, like any other pursuit, comes with its own set of skills. The thing is, we don’t learn those in school. Working with a behavioral therapist or skills group can be a helpful way to learn and practice the key skills of making conversation, keeping on top of plans, and understanding nonverbal cues, to name a few.

 

  1. Address sex and intimacy

While our society has become more comfortable talking about sex, the conversation is still mighty narrow. For most people, sexuality, sexual pleasure, sexual functioning, and everything in between are sensitive to discussion and often shrouded in secrecy. Finding a therapist you trust can help you explore your sexuality, body image, sexual identity, and sexual functioning.

 

For those living with functional conditions like vaginismus, erectile dysfunction, or premature ejaculation (which often have a mental and emotional component), a sex therapist or somatic therapist can guide you to ineffective treatment.

 

And for everyone, a body-positive therapist can help get you in touch with your own body and pleasure so that you feel more confident embarking on a sexual relationship.

 

  1. Deepen your emotional connections

If you’ve gone on what feels like hundreds of dead-end dates, you may feel resentful, bored, or disappointed. Or maybe you continue to meet nice-enough people and feel…nothing at all.  A therapist can help you to understand and deepen your emotional connection with others.

 

Sometimes we experience an emotional block because there is some discomfort we are trying to keep at bay. After all, we don’t want to get too invested, or because we have trouble recognizing our own emotions (what psychologists call “alexithymia”).

 

In Dating Coach London Counselling, you can build a richer texture to your own emotional experience which carries over to your relationship with others. Counselling is ideal for this because it’s a relationship like no other: your therapist is there to be empathic, honest, and non-judgmental as you explore and express those emotions.

 

This list is by no means exhaustive, but just a handful of ways that therapy can truly impact—and improve—your dating life. While you’re out there seeking and swiping, remember that you don’t need to handle it all on your own! Therapy may just be the investment in yourself that changes the game.

 

Dating Coach London Counselling Conclusion

Dating Coach London Counselling 4

Dating Coach London Counselling Conclusion. Let’s face it: the dating world is rough. It’s hard to find a person you connect with let alone want to settle down with. There’s both a physical attraction and an emotional connection to think about. When you’re dating, you need to find someone who wants the same things in a relationship.

 

Dating Coach London Counselling Conclusion. That can be challenging and even frustrating at times. You may feel like you are searching for a needle in a haystack. Some people believe that there is one person out there for each of us. Other people believe that there are many people out there for each of us. Learn more about ways to find that special person and keep them in your life.

 

Attending counselling gives you an edge in the dating world, you not only have a great dating strategy but also develop a dating instinct. Miss Date Doctor has qualified counsellors to get you through the rough phase of counselling contact us today.

Further reading

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