Table of Contents hide

1.1 What Causes Problems In Marriages Conclusion

What Causes Problems In Marriages?

What causes problems in marriages? There’s no way around it: Long-term relationships are hard work—and there will be bumps along the way. Even the best marriages go through ups and downs, but couples that last have one crucial thing in common: They know it’s them as a unit versus the problem, not one person versus the other.

Lack of trust causes unhappy marriage

In general, deteriorating relationships emerge due to a lack of trust. In marital life, not believing in each other by the spouse makes a good and new relationship bitter.

The newly married couple has to ensure that why they cannot trust each other, both of them should try to get to the bottom of it.

If you love your spouse, then it is necessary to trust him or her as well. It is difficult to believe your husband or wife is in married life when either of you is lying about something or cheating on your spouse.

Or it may be that your life partner is not a trustworthy person. This makes your relationship very weak, and the distance between the two keeps increasing.

Main reasons for lack of trust in marital life:

You don’t love each other.
You don’t give importance to each other’s words.
Both of you believe more in the words of a third person than in each other.
You give each other less time.

You are not listening or giving value to the partner’s opinion or ideas

What causes problems in marriages? The second main reason for a loveless marriage is to give no importance to your life partner’s words.

Newly married couples often mistake that they listen to the terms of another person more than their spouse and implement them and consider their partner stupid.

Or try to present themselves as highly intelligent, and clever in front of their spouse.

When you do not listen to each other, it increases anger towards each other, which causes disgusting activities to occur in the relationship, which further leads to a good relationship on the verge of breaking up.

Not listening to each other in marital life leads to increased coercion. And the wrongful antics like beatings, misbehaviour, abuse and molesters start spreading their feet in a good house.

And the estrangement between the two families begins.

A beautiful relationship becomes very lousy; trust between husband and wife becomes so weak that if a third person starts serving both of them a lie, then that too is true to them. The fighting between the two continues to escalate and you find yourself trapped in an unhappy marriage.

The main reasons that make a husband and wife not give importance to each other’s things in the married life —

Thinking of yourself as more intelligent than your spouse.
Lack of respect for each other.
Give more importance in your married life to a third person’s words rather than the terms of your spouse.

You are blaming each other

When spouses start cursing each other, then understand that instead of love in their hearts, feelings of hate, hatred and fear have made their home.

The wife is not happy with the husband and the husband with the wife, no matter what.

Implementing accusations against each other in the marital life, and blaming the spouse for everything is fatal for a new relationship.

If the spouse accepts his/her mistake about something, then there is no reason for anger, hatred, or bitterness.

Not spending time with each other

Not giving time to your spouse in a new marriage becomes the reason for the increasing distance between the two of you.

These growing distances take a massive form of discord in the family and you start to feel like you’re in an unhappy marriage that’s heading in the wrong direction, with no future for you or the ones that will come later in life.

If you do not give your spouse time in married life, how will you know what his/her wishes are, what his/her dreams are, what things he/she needs, etc.?

Because of not giving time, you will not be able to know your spouse, how he/she thinks, and whether he/she cares for you.

The main reasons you’re not giving time to your spouse —

If the spouse is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
You or your spouse is having an affair.
Got married against the will of the spouse.
Looking at the present, the marriage of the spouse is against his/her gender.

Not respecting each other

What causes problems in marriages? The main reason for a marriage falling apart is not honouring the spouse and his/her family members.

This is because one or both of you consider each other to be inferior in different ways. Whether it is by money or education, family prestige or skin colour could also be a reason.

They forget in their ego that the two of them are no longer separate; their two families are one now. And the violation of the dignity of any one person is fatal for both families.

You don’t forgive each other and thus create an unhappy marriage

It is expected that mistakes happen in marital life, and if it’s the case of a newly married couple, then mistakes will happen too often.

But if the spouse or a family member makes a mess of things on the husband or wife’s mistake, instead of understanding it, it is not the beginning of a happy marriage.

If your spouse has made a mistake, then it becomes your responsibility here to forgive your spouse. And the elders of the family also should forgive the younger ones. Moreover, to keep a marriage happy and save it from falling, young pairs should not delay in the slightest confession.

Comparing yourself to other couples

What causes problems in marriages? The biggest and foremost reason for a bad marriage is to see the excess butter on others’ plates. This means you compare others’ lives and wish for the same life as happy as other people.

Or you pity yourself that if you would have married a spouse like others, then your married life would be satisfied today. You didn’t have to think that you were living a toxic marriage.

Here newly married couples cannot accept their present circumstances, and they find other married couples more happy and blessed.

These days romantic movies and social networking sites present a different kind of married life, especially social networking sites.

Where you’ll only see smiling faces, no one shares their bad moments of life, which unhappy couples are sad to see repeatedly, and aspire to change their past. And then the round of accusations comes, and demands and relations begin to get sloppy.

You try to change each other’s minds

In married life, husband and wife try to change their spouse’s minds to persuade each other. An attempt is made to pressurize them, causing dissatisfaction in the life of the spouse.

And due to this mental dissatisfaction, the marital life becomes an unhappy marriage. And the main reason for this is that married couples are unable to accept each other.

Whether it is their education, skin colour, obesity, excessive thinning, or dark circles under the eyes, there are many reasons like unemployment.

Bad habits or circumstances

If any of the below-given habits and situations are in you or your spouse, understand that your married life is headed in the wrong direction, which is a failing marriage.

Intoxication or drug addiction.
Gambling.
Lying, extremely angry, beating etc.
Have an ill love.
Unemployment.

How To Resolve Problems In Marriage

Show Appreciation

What causes problems in marriages? After years of living together, you find comfort in familiarities and routines. It’s natural and, to some degree, healthy. But they can be dangerous. Show your appreciation for the comforts you enjoy by adding a little extra passion and appreciation to your routines.

Give and Take

As time goes on, some things that used to be easy for you and your loved one to accomplish will become more difficult. Make your loved one’s life a little easier by being a good partner. Lend a hand if you can.

By the time you have been married for years, the idea of finding a balance between giving and taking seems to be an old habit. But as you get older, you may find that what’s important to give and take gradually changes. You may need to learn to apply the idea differently.

Maintain Your Own Life

Some couples are inseparable and happily so. More often, though, maintaining happiness involves enjoying a life of your own. Maintain your own relationships with friends. Engage in your own hobbies and past-times.

Be social on your own terms, not always as a couple. It’s one marriage of two people.

Also, your spouse looks at you more than you look at yourself, probably. Your appearance may not be all that important to you, and that’s fine, but a little effort once in a while can go a long way.

Mind the Small Things

Sure, some routines may have developed over the years. Maybe they have made you coffee every morning for years, or they shovel the sidewalk and mow the lawn. Practice good manners. Say “please” and “thank you”—every time.

As you have likely learned, small things add up. Paying attention to the small things adds up, too. Attending the small things shows you care.

Don’t criticize, attack, or hold your partner in contempt.

What causes problems in marriages? Complain instead. “I’m upset because…” is a complaint. Whereas “You never…”You always, You’re…” is an outright criticism and is attacking your partner. An example of contempt is feeling superior to your partner, rolling eyes, sighing, not liking, valuing, appreciating, or saying nasty put-downs.

Learn how to repair things when there’s been an upset.

Right away. Put special emphasis on regulating and de-escalating the conflict. Don’t let a disagreement about anything drag on. Either agree or agree to disagree and move along, but don’t dwell on the disagreement; find something better to dwell on.

Share your visions, dreams, and hopes with one another.

Then explore to find the meaning underneath for each of you. Consider their point of view of your future together and work to enrich it.

Support each other’s dreams, and create shared meaning in your relationship.

In the end, there will always be problems, but we can always work to improve our relationships. You can do your part to help prevent and minimize them (that includes seeking couples therapy).

Remember, stay realistic, recognize that other people have faults just like you do, and be willing to work on your relationships.

Take Time for Yourself

For couples who feel bogged down by life’s demands, taking time for yourself to do something you love can help you return to your partner feeling refreshed and ready to give love.

Nurturing your own interests and friendships can increase your happiness and make the time you have with your spouse even more special.

You might also find that having new things to talk about and share is an exciting way to fall in love all over again.

What Causes Problems In Marriages Conclusion

What Causes Problems In Marriages Conclusion. If you and your partner have been engaging in destructive patterns for some time, you may benefit from an outside perspective. It can be hard to change these behaviors for a variety of reasons.

Maybe you’re uncomfortable asking for what you need, or you’re keeping score because of a perceived imbalance in your relationship. It can make a big difference once you recognize a behavior pattern, but you also need to do things differently.

What Causes Problems In Marriages Conclusion. If you and your partner are feeling stuck, marriage counseling might be the best option. Through marriage counselling, you both can express your perspectives and needs and negotiate changes together with the assistance of a facilitator.

You may also choose to come in on your own to explore your resistance to doing things differently in your relationship. Individual counselling can help you explore your needs and help you get unstuck in your relationship.

What Causes Problems In Marriages?

What Causes Problems In Marriages Conclusion

Further reading

Treat your inbox