Emotional integrity Posted byMiss Date Doctor March 2, 2022 Table of Contents hide 1 Emotional integrity 1.1 Emotional integrity meaning 1.2 How do we develop your emotional integrity? 1.3 Emotional integrity in marriage 1.4 Emotional integrity psychology 1.5 Emotional stability 1.6 Signs of a Stable Relationship 1.6.1 2. You’re Kind to Each Other 1.6.2 3. You Have Healthy Boundaries 1.6.3 4. You Both Engage in Self-Reflection 1.6.4 5. You Trust Each Other 1.7 Emotional integrity test 1.8 Emotional integrity quotes 1.9 Emotional integrity score 1.10 Emotional attention 1.11 Emotional integrity synonym 1.12 Emotional integrity in a sentence 1.13 Intellectual integrity 1.14 Emotional integrity quiz 1.15 What does it mean to be emotionally honest? 1.16 What is emotional maturity? 1.17 How are emotional intelligence and personal integrity linked? 1.17.1 Emotional integrity conclusion 1.18 Further reading Emotional integrity Emotional integrity. Emotional integrity is the courage to acknowledge one’s true feelings, wants, and desires without judging them with a societal lens. Emotional Integrity is when what you are feeling, thinking, and how you look are congruent. Basically, if you are sad you feel, think, and look sad. I believe the heart of Emotional Integrity is about acceptance. The more you accept your feelings and thoughts about your feelings the easier it is to express them without them coming out as blame, anger, or resentment. So the question is What is an example of and why do you want to have emotional integrity? Let’s start with the dreaded “How are You.” On the inside, you feel sad, because this morning you felt like your husband doesn’t appreciate you because he didn’t even say thank you when you made his coffee. Later in the day, he calls you for a quick chat before he goes into a meeting and asks “How are you?” You say “FINE”. This is not emotional integrity; the conversation turns quiet and awkward. You think to yourself “We will see if I ever go out of my way again to do something nice for him”. Meanwhile, he dismisses the comment and says he has to go. Can you say “Awkward?” To have emotional integrity would be to say to your husband “I have been sad since you left this morning. I felt that I went out of my way to make you coffee and you didn’t even say thank you! I know that I had an expectation for the recognition and I should have done it without condition. That being said, I think we should have a date night or do something together to feel more connected. I want to feel closer to you.” So in this scenario, the wife wanted to connect to her husband and used the coffee to do so instead of her feelings of emotional integrity. In the confines of a healthy relationship, you have to be willing to be open and honest about your emotional needs without fear of reproach. This also involves patience and understanding when your spouse reciprocates his or her emotional needs. Why do you want emotional integrity? Because it creates the connection we all desire. The fear of vulnerability is what keeps us from being us and accepting our feelings. When we dig deeper we see where we could have done things differently and have to take responsibility. It is much easier to blame the other person and make them the bad guy and have them do all the work. Remember that painful feelings are temporary. They go away much faster and thoroughly when they are faced and dealt with. Avoiding the pain gives it more power over you. Know that when you are not honest with yourself, it may very possibly hurt the people around you. Taking the easier route always comes with a price. Take seriously your duty to know yourself. People who love you rely upon it. Be willing to say things that others might find painful. Speak your truth with compassion and care. Own your mistakes and weaknesses. We all have them. And it is far more honest to accept and face them than to ignore or hide them. No one can be perfect at this. Everyone’s Emotional Integrity is vulnerable, and will often be tested through the course of our lives. As we try, we will falter and fail at times. The best we can do is try our hardest. After all, we’re only human. Have a problem with Emotional Integrity and need some help and insight? A life coach may be the answer! Call for a one on one session and get closer to the emotional integrity you want and deserve. Emotional integrity meaning Emotional integrity meaning. Emotional integrity is the personal achievement of emotional strength, discipline, and completeness that remains constant no matter what others say or do. It includes both control of emotions and an honest acknowledgment of them pleasant or unpleasant Barry, a 35-year-old stock analyst, is a successful and reasonably happy guy. He loves his job, and he loves his wife Jeanette. Jeanette, however, has recently been talking more fervently about having a baby. Each time she has asked his feelings about it over the past year, Barry says, “Yes, I want to have a baby, but just not quite yet.” Or, “I’ll be ready soon. Just give me a little time.” What Barry does not tell Jeanette is something he does not tell himself either. He is not exactly lying to her with his answers, because he wants to believe that he will be ready soon. But in giving her these vague, open-ended, affirmative answers, he is not being honest with Jeanette because he is not being honest with himself. The truth is painful, and he does not want to go there. Barry’s Emotional Truth: Barry was raised by a violent, alcoholic father and a narcissistic mother. Throughout his childhood, he had little support and witnessed a lot of ugly fighting between his parents. Growing up frightened and alone, he vowed at a young age to never bring a child into this world to suffer, as he was. As Barry put himself through college, established his career, and built a good life for himself, he put his childhood behind him and never looked back. He did not want to revisit his childhood vow or his childhood at all. He did not want to think it through, as that would bring back the pain and fear from his childhood. Barry is, overall, a person of integrity. He possesses all of the qualities that Merriam-Webster describes. He would never cheat in business, he does not lie. He is a reliable and consistent person who can be trusted to follow the rules of honesty and morality. But, with Jeanette, on this one extremely important issue, Barry is not showing Emotional Integrity. He is avoiding pain, taking the easy way out. He doesn’t know how he feels about having a baby, and he doesn’t want to face it. Right now, the delay tactics are working okay for him, but this is headed for disaster. Jeanette’s biological clock is ticking, and she will eventually have no choice but to force the issue. At that point, under duress, Barry will have to decide between his avoidance and his wife’s happiness and trust and value emotional integrity meaning How do we develop your emotional integrity? How do we develop your emotional integrity? By challenging the reality of your emotions. Ever heard the phrase “Feelings Aren’t Facts”? Be wary of the words “I feel LIKE”. Once you add the “like” then it no longer is a feeling but is a thought. Those are all statements NOT feelings. Feelings are one word. Here’s a list to help you identify exactly what you’re feeling. How do we develop your emotional integrity? Should be a conscious effort as it is a question at the back of your mind. Emotional integrity in marriage Emotional integrity in marriage. Most relationships suffer because of a lack of integrity. We make commitments to ourselves and others, break them, then make excuses to avoid taking responsibility. We promise to be patient, kind, understanding, and loving. We promise to be faithful, to be loyal in word and deed, to remain committed for better or for worse, in sickness and health, in good times and bad. We promise to put the needs of others before our own, and love each other until death. It is important to note that at some point or another, we all falter on these commitments. Pride gets in the way. We act selfishly. We come up short and fall out of integrity with ourselves and those we love. There is a difference, however, between the couples who recover and thrive when these circumstances arise, and those who allow these situations to erode and destroy their love. Couples who turn to excuses for their lack of emotional integrity quickly find the trust and passion they once shared eroding beneath their feet. They find reasons for their shortcomings, infidelities, unkind words, impatience, and selfishness. They can provide lists of explanations for their lack of integrity. They seek validation for our reasons. They get their friends to support them, justify them and cheer them on as they avoid accountability, and preserve their sense of pride, and rightness. A lack of emotional integrity in marriage eats away at every good thing that is necessary for building a happy, healthy, long-lasting relationship. Emotional integrity psychology Emotional integrity psychology. Emotion has a substantial influence on the cognitive processes in humans, including perception, attention, learning, memory, reasoning, and problem-solving. Emotion has a particularly strong influence on attention, especially modulating the selectivity of attention as well as motivating action and behavior. This attentional and executive control is intimately linked to learning processes, as intrinsically limited attentional capacities are better focused on relevant information. Emotional integrity also facilitates encoding and helps the retrieval of information efficiently. However, the effects of emotion on learning and memory are not always univalent, as studies have reported that emotion either enhances or impairs learning and long-term memory (LTM) retention, depending on a range of factors. Recent neuroimaging findings have indicated that the amygdala and prefrontal cortex cooperate with the medial temporal lobe in an integrated manner that affords (i) the amygdala modulating memory consolidation; (ii) the prefrontal cortex mediating memory encoding and formation; and (iii) the hippocampus for successful learning and LTM retention. We also review the nested hierarchies of circular emotional control and cognitive regulation (bottom-up and top-down influences) within the brain to achieve optimal integration of emotional and cognitive processing. This review highlights a basic evolutionary approach to emotion to understand the effects of emotion on learning and memory and the functional roles played by various brain regions and their mutual interactions in relation to emotional processing. We also summarize the current state of knowledge on the impact of emotion on memory and map implications for educational settings. In addition to elucidating the memory-enhancing effects of emotion, neuroimaging findings extend our understanding of emotional influences on learning and memory processes; this knowledge may be useful for the design of effective educational curricula to provide a conducive learning environment for both traditional “live” learning in classrooms and “virtual” learning through online-based educational technologies. Introduction Emotional integrity psychology experiences are ubiquitous in nature and important and perhaps even critical in academic settings, as emotion modulates virtually every aspect of cognition. Tests, examinations, homework, and deadlines are associated with different emotional states that encompass frustration, anxiety, and boredom. Even subject matter influences emotions that affect one’s ability to learn and remember. The usage of computer-based multimedia educational technologies, such as intelligent tutoring systems (ITSs) and massive open online courses (MOOCs), which are gradually replacing traditional face-to-face learning environments, is increasing. This may induce various emotional experiences in learners. Hence, emotional influences should be carefully considered in educational courses designed to maximize learner engagement as well as improve learning and long-term retention of the material (Shen et al., 2009). Numerous studies have reported that human cognitive processes are affected by emotions, including attention (Vuilleumier, 2005), learning and memory (Phelps, 2004; Um et al., 2012), reasoning (Jung et al., 2014), and problem-solving (Isen et al., 1987). These factors are critical in educational domains because when students face such difficulties, it defeats the purpose of schooling and can potentially render it meaningless. Most importantly, emotional stimuli appear to consume more attentional resources than non-emotional stimuli (Schupp et al., 2007). Moreover, attentional and motivational components of emotion have been linked to heightened learning and memory (Pekrun, 1992; Seli et al., 2016). Hence, emotional experiences/stimuli appear to be remembered vividly and accurately, with great resilience over time. Recent studies using functional neuroimaging techniques detect and recognize human emotional states and have become a topic of increasing research in cognitive neuroscience, affective neuroscience, and educational psychology to optimize learning and memory outcomes (Carew and Magsamen, 2010; Um et al., 2012). Human emotions comprise complex interactions of subjective feelings as well as physiological and behavioral responses that are especially triggered by external stimuli, which are subjectively perceived as “personally significant.” Three different approaches are used to monitor the changes in emotional states: (1) subjective approaches that assess subjective feelings and experiences; (2) behavioral investigations of facial expressions (Jack and Schyns, 2015), vocal expressions (Russell et al., 2003), and gestural changes (Dael et al., 2012); and (3) objective approaches via physiological responses that include electrical and hemodynamic of the central nervous system (CNS) activities (Vytal and Hamann, 2010) in addition to autonomic nervous systems (ANS) responses such as heart rate, respiratory volume/rate, skin temperature, skin conductance and blood volume pulses (Li and Chen, 2006). The CNS and physiological responses (brain vs. body organs) can be objectively measured via neuroimaging and biosensors and are more difficult to consciously conceal or manipulate compared to subjective and behavioral responses. Although functional neuroimaging enables us to identify brain regions of interest for cognitive and emotional processing, it is difficult to comprehend emotional influences on learning and memory retrieval without a fundamental understanding of the brain’s inherent emotional operating systems. Emotional stability Emotional stability. Emotional stability refers to a person’s ability to remain stable and balanced. Having emotional stability means that you can withstand the whirlwind that life throws your way, and still be productive and capable through it Even couples in relationships that look idyllic from the outside have made their way through rough patches. Life’s ups and downs are bound to impact even the happiest couples—but how you handle the low points separates a stable relationship from a toxic one. Being in a stable, healthy relationship doesn’t mean you always manage to stay positive through life’s challenges. Rather, it means prioritizing your romantic relationship, spending time together, communicating, and working through challenges as opposed to avoiding them or blaming your partner. Signs of a Stable Relationship There are a handful of signs to look out for in order to ascertain emotional stability in a relationship You’re Not Afraid to Have Tough Conversations Even in healthy long-term relationships, couples are bound to experience difficult times that call for tough conversations. It’s easy to shy away from these as they require vulnerability and trust. But the healthy way to navigate tough times is by communicating your feelings and always seeking to understand your partner’s emotional needs. 2. You’re Kind to Each Other One of the simplest signs you’re in a stable, healthy relationship is that you’re kind to one another. Regularly saying “I love you,” making time for date nights, and always avoiding name-calling (even when you’re in a fight) are signs you treat each other with kindness and respect. You take the time to truly understand your partner’s point of view and remember that you’re on the same team. Even when you go through a rough patch (and even happy couples do) and you feel things like anger and resentment, you always remember to treat one another with respect, love, and kindness. 3. You Have Healthy Boundaries Boundaries are crucial for any relationship—romantic or platonic—to thrive. Boundaries can be guardrails around daily routines, such as needing an hour apart every day. Or, boundaries can be larger, such as how and when you interact with members of your extended family. These boundaries may take more time, effort, and compromise to establish. 4. You Both Engage in Self-Reflection Even though you’re not the only person in your relationship, some of the work toward building a stable relationship must be done alone. It’s crucial to reflect on what is and is not working for you. Your partner must do the same. In a stable relationship, both partners engage in regular self-reflection. Relationships are a giant mirror, with our partners often triggering parts of us we may have forgotten about or ignored. It can be easy to assume our partner is to blame for every issue that comes up.” However, she says, the truth is that relationships are impacted by both partners. Being able to look inward at our behaviors increases our self-awareness, which allows us to respond more empathetic to our partners. 5. You Trust Each Other This one is easier said than done, especially when you and your partner are going through a tough time. But trust is critical for the foundation of any stable relationship. Emotional integrity test Emotional integrity test. Here are a few questions to help test your emotional integrity level My emotions generally have a strong impact on the way I behave. little or no impact on the way I behave. I am generally guided by my goals and values. other’s goals and values. When I am under pressure, I generally have changed behaviors from normal. behaviors that remain unchanged. I generally learn most by actively doing activities. from reflecting on past experiences. I generally have a good sense of humor about myself. take me seriously. I present myself with self-assurance and having “presence”. with some confidence and cautiousness. Where there are uncertainties and pressures, I am always decisive and make sound decisions. cautious about making the right decision. I always voice views that are unpopular and go out on a limb for what is right. most others agree with and support. I always like to take on new challenges. maintain the status quo. I generally inspire confidence in others. rely on others’ confidence. I generally allow my emotions and moods to impact my behaviors. keep my disruptive emotions and impulses under control. When I am under pressure I get easily distracted by other things. I think clearly and stay focused I always do as I say I will do. do only what I have to do. Trust by others is automatically given to me. is built through reliability and authenticity. I am always flexible in how I see events. able to see events for what they are. During changing situations, I always work hard to try and keep up with the demands. smoothly handle multiple demands and shifting priorities. I always set myself challenging goals. complete the goals that are set for me. When obstacles and setbacks occur in pursuing my goals, I always readjust the goals and/or expectations. persist in seeking the goals despite what has happened. Generally, I pursue goals beyond what is required or expected of me. pursue goals only as far as is required of me. When I Identify opportunities, I am always uncertain about whether to pursue the opportunity. proactive in pursuing the opportunity. Group differences are always causing difficulties and unrest. understood and valued. When I see bias and intolerance I always challenge the initiating people. turn a blind eye and ignore it. I always help out based on the tasks others need help with. understanding others’ needs and feelings. I always listen to the important words being said. listen well and am attentive to emotional cues. Other perspectives are always understood and sensitivity is shown. clouding the issues and getting us off track. I always find social networks in the organization getting in the way of delivering performance. help create better decision networks. I always use informal key power relationships to get what I need. formal decision networks to get what I need. I always give customers what they ask for. understand customers’ needs and match products/services. I always act as a trusted advisor to the customer. tell the customer what they want to hear. Increasing customers satisfaction and loyalty is always part of the way I work is not important in achieving the sale. The vision and mission are always given to staff so they know where we are going. used to inspire groups and individuals. I always let people know of the behaviors expected. model the behaviors expected of others. I always give assignments to people who can get the job done and do it well. will grow and develop as a result of the challenge. Winning people over is something that I find difficult to do. I am very good at it. I always communicate in a way that everyone understands what I am saying. that seeks mutual understanding and full information sharing. I always go along with the changes being driven by others. recognize the need for changes and remove barriers. I always handle difficult people in a direct manner. with diplomacy and tact. I always seek out mutually beneficial relationships. will help me achieve my end goal. I generally have a stronger focus on tasks rather than relationships balanced focus on tasks and relationships. When I work with teams, I always make it clear what I expect members to do. draw all members into enthusiastic participation. Did you take the emotional integrity test? I believe it will help you build your emotional integrity. Emotional integrity quotes Emotional integrity quotes. “Emotional integrity is having our hearts, minds, and wills unified. When we are in our emotional integrity, we can act without hesitation or doubt” Dr. Anil Kumar Sinha “If it requires you to go against what you stand for or believe in, turn it down and walk away with your integrity intact.” Sonya Parker “To fulfill promises is the highest form of integrity.” Hazrat Ali “The man who cannot believe in himself cannot believe in anything else. The basis of all integrity and character is whatever faith we have in our integrity.” Roy L Smith “Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.” Oprah Winfrey “Integrity is the integration of outward actions and inner values. A person of integrity is the same on the outside and the inside.” Anil Sinha “Integrity is surely not a conditional word. It sways not, to the rhythm of the winds nor ever changes with the weather. As Integrity, is the honest, innermost image of self that dictates character.” Chris Njenga “Being true means having integrity, and integrity is doing the right thing even when you know nobody is watching.” Senora Roy “No one will question your integrity if your integrity is not questionable.” Nathaniel Bronner Jr “Class is the impartial, consistent display of emotional integrity.” J Frederick Millea The importance of emotional integrity quotes cannot be overemphasized because they are reminders that keep us in check Emotional integrity score Emotional integrity score. Four domains of Emotional integrity are Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social-Awareness & Social-Skills were included for the domains of the scale. Emotional Integrity has been associated with positive outcome processes in varied professions There is no particular grade to emotional integrity score but a good sense of right and wrong will always put you on the good path. Emotional attention Emotional attention. Attention is important, and it doesn’t matter whether we are busy with our hectic lives, or we’re targeting a promotion, or we have a conflict in schedules. If you know the importance of connection and attention, then you’ll find a way to do it. Is attention important in a relationship? We married the person we love not just because we have fallen in love with them but also because we have seen ourselves growing old. Along with our vows, we believe that we have already found a partner that will be with us through thick and thin and would never let us feel that we’re lonely or alone, but what if you find yourself yearning to get your spouse to notice you? Some men might mistake the lack of time and attention in a relationship as overly dramatic like women love attention and can’t go a day without it, but that’s not entirely true. All of us crave attention one way or the other; sure, we seldom see men complaining about “my wife doesn’t pay attention to me,” but men also need attention because it is also a way to show how much we love a person. To put it in a more straightforward form, if we love someone, we will find a way to show how much they mean to us, and one of the easiest ways to do this is by paying attention to them. Love and attention are directly proportional to each other and are extremely important for the survival of a relationship. Effects of lack of attention in a relationship If one partner is not getting enough attention from another partner, it can cause a chain of reactions and even lead to bigger conflicts in the relationship. Don’t be perplexed, and it’s nothing that can’t be saved. Lack of attention in a relationship is the same as the lack of communication. They are connected. Here are just some of the effects if one partner will fail to pay full time & attention not just with their partner but with the relationship itself Losing the connection It is the apparent effect if you stop giving your spouse the love and attention they deserve. You drift farther apart. The usual late-night talks have now become a once-a-month thing, and soon it will turn into nothing. You’re sleeping in the same bed and living in the same house, but you have now become strangers. Does it have to come to the point where you have to hear your spouse ask, “why do I crave attention” – the emotional attention and love that should always be present in your relationship? Being insensitive Lack of Attention in relationships will make us insensitive in so many ways. In time, we will no longer see our partner’s needs, the bond that we need to work on, and the family we are trying to build. No matter what reasons you have that are causing you not to pay attention to your spouse, it’s not worth it. Poor self-esteem and self-worth If your spouse gets used to being ignored, chances are he/she will have very poor self-worth and self-esteem. It will significantly affect your partner more than you can understand. They will start to think that they are not getting enough attention in a relationship, maybe because they are not worth it, and that feeling can break anyone. Lack of intimacy If you ignore your partner, then most likely, there is also no intimacy involved in your relationship. Is it because you no longer love them? Is it because he/she no longer seems beautiful? Or are you just honestly busy? Lack of intimacy hurts, and it slowly destroys your relationship. Vulnerable to infidelity A person who has no attention from their partner is most likely to react in different ways. They may seem sad and depressed at first, but the lack of attention in your relationship will open new doors for people to make their move on your spouse. Emotional integrity synonym Emotional integrity synonym. Other words can be used in place of emotional integrity such as Mental integrity Innate integrity Passionate integrity Emotional stability Emotional honesty Intellectual integrity There are a ton of emotional integrity synonyms that can replace these Emotional integrity in a sentence Emotional integrity in a sentence. An example that can explain emotional integrity is: These children may be traded as commodities, regardless of the damage to their physical health and emotional integrity. The sentence above depicts emotional integrity in a sentence. Another example is: I cannot compromise my emotional integrity for an illegal means to make money. Intellectual integrity Intellectual integrity. This trait requires that the standards that guide actions and thoughts need to be the same standards by which others are evaluated. An individual exhibiting this trait treats others with kindness while avoiding harm and outwardly projects this trait. This trait eliminates double standards and hypocrisy. Intellectual integrity involves both seeking and valuing the truth; being systematically critical of truth claims via analyzing assumptions and looking for evidence; being true to one’s intellectual understanding of the world, and being willing to change that understanding in light of new information Emotional integrity quiz Emotional integrity quiz. Answer the questions below to assess your emotional integrity level I adjust my behavior depending on who I am interacting with (e.g. calm and friendly with a child, serious and professional with my boss, etc.). Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false I tend to postpone or avoid discussing touchy topics. Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false If asked to list my top three strengths, I would have a hard time coming up with them. Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false I have certain compulsive habits that I just can’t seem to stop (e.g. overeating). Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false I am stubborn. Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false 6 When something is bothering me, I cannot stop thinking about it. Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false I am not satisfied with my work unless someone else praises it. Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false I know which situations I can handle, and which ones will take me out of my emotional comfort zone. Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false If the situation calls for it, I can be civil to a person whom I dislike (e.g. at a get-together of a mutual friend or a business meeting). Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false When I need to do something difficult or unpleasant, I find it hard to motivate myself to get started. Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false I express my opinion even if there’s a good chance that other people will disagree with me. Completely true Mostly true Somewhat true or false Mostly false Completely false The emotional integrity quiz above will help you assess your level of integrity and also improve them What does it mean to be emotionally honest? What does it mean to be emotionally honest? Emotional honesty means being able to express your emotions and feelings to another person. It requires an awareness of what your true feelings are and what others’ true feelings are as well. If we are emotionally honest with ourselves, we get to know our true selves better, which can lead to greater self-acceptance. Being emotionally honest is not always easy. It can be particularly challenging for people who cannot self-reflect. Such people often end up unhappy, and their negative feelings can manifest in chronic anger, depression, and similar emotions. In my experience, one of the main reasons many people (and if I’m being honest, men) have difficulties being emotionally honest is because they’re afraid to be vulnerable in relationships. The best relationships are not necessarily those with the least conflict. Rather, they set themselves apart by the depth of their emotional intimacy. While there are other factors, the ability to be vulnerable and authentic strengthens the deep sense of connection felt by intimate partners. Authentic relationships cannot stand the test of time without emotional honesty. It’s only when we fully connect to our true selves and feelings that we can share ourselves with another person. To do this, we must get in touch with what we are feeling, communicate it to our partner, and reveal our deepest feelings and emotions. What does it mean to be emotionally honest? For a relationship to be healthy and sustainable, emotional honesty needs to be met with emotional honesty. That is, both people in the relationship need to reveal their true selves and feelings. If one of the partners puts up walls, that makes it impossible for them to speak their emotional truth. It’s also likely an indication that they don’t trust themselves or their partner. The benefits of emotional honesty are immeasurable. Indeed, what could be more fulfilling than living your truth and sharing it with someone close to you? It also puts you on a path towards authenticity and moves you away from superficiality and meaninglessness. Emotional honesty can be defined as the ability to communicate our feelings and needs honestly and respectfully. It means we are aware of our feelings and take the time to experience them instead of masking them with alcohol, drugs, food, and the like. While it isn’t sexy or even comfortable at times to focus on emotional honesty, it does lead to some pretty amazing results in most areas of our lives Promotes Authenticity Harder than lifting double our body weight over our heads, being emotionally honest is one of the most challenging things we can do. Who wants to admit they hate their job or are unhappy with their spouse? Who wants to feel anything other than happiness and joy? Unfortunately, we can’t ignore our negative feelings; they will bubble up at some point, be it tomorrow or years from now, in the form of chronic anger, stress, depression, and the like. By taking an emotional inventory, we are moving towards living an authentic life and promoting a deeper sense of intimacy with the important people around us. Enhances Relationships Nothing can create an enhanced sense of intimacy and trust as much as emotional honesty can. From professional to personal relationships, being honest with self and others is not only a component of emotional intelligence but is necessary for effective workplace leadership. Personal relationships can suffer if we are unable to express what we need. Unfortunately, this lack of honesty within a relationship can result in resentment and anger over time leading to the end of the relationship. Emotional honesty can not only bring us closer to those we love but lead to happier and more fulfilling relationships (and who doesn’t want that)! Strengthens Our Courage Courage is not about being fearless but pressing on despite the fear. Emotional honesty promotes courage because it demands a level of openness that can create a sense of vulnerability. It takes courage to present our real selves to others for fear we won’t be loved (or liked) if we reveal our prickly bits. Let’s face it; it is easier to pretend to be happy, agreeable, and positive than to show our real feelings. Just like anything else, over time being more aware and honest with our feelings will become second nature and (bonus) may promote others to do the same. Promotes Self-Awareness To be able to share our true emotions with others we must begin by enhancing our self-awareness. Our default response when asked “How are you today”, is usually something like “fine” or “good”, but fine and good aren’t emotions. Taking the time to ask ourselves how we are feeling may be a clue to why we are yelling at the driver in front of us or eating chocolate fudge ice cream straight out of the container (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Emotional self-awareness can not only help to explain why we do the things we do but can help us connect to our feeling selves and expand our emotional vocabulary beyond just “fine” or “good”. With practice, we can identify and experience a feeling more efficiently without experiencing the angry outbursts or bouts of depression that come with a lack of acknowledgment. What is emotional maturity? What is emotional maturity? When we think of someone who’s emotionally mature, we typically picture a person who has a good understanding of who they are. Even if they don’t have all the answers, and emotionally mature individual gives off a sense of “calm amid the storm.” They’re the ones we look to when going through a difficult time because they perform well under stress. In other words, emotional maturity is when someone can manage their emotions no matter their circumstances. They know how to respond to tough situations and still keep their cool. It’s a skill set they can consistently work on overtime. Here’s a look at key characteristics and things we can do to develop emotional maturity. Taking responsibility People with emotional maturity are aware of their privilege in the world and will try to take steps toward changing their behavior. This means you don’t blame others (or yourself) when something goes awry. You possess a spirit of humility — instead of complaining about your circumstances, you become action-oriented. You may ask, “What can I do to improve this situation?” Showing empathy Emotionally mature individuals approach life by doing as much good as they can and supporting those around them. You know how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Meaning, you often feel more concern for others and try to find ways of helping. Owning mistakes You know how to apologize when you’ve done wrong. No excuses. You’ll admit your mistakes and try to find ways of rectifying the situation. You also don’t have the desire to be right all the time. Instead, you’ll acknowledge that you indeed don’t have “all the answers.” Being unafraid of vulnerability You’re always willing to open up and share your struggles so others feel less alone. You’re also not interested in being seen as “perfect” all the time. Emotional maturity means being honest about your feelings and building trust with those around you because you don’t have an agenda. Recognizing and accepting needs Those with emotional maturity can admit when they need help or when they’re burning out. For example, you’ll acknowledge when you need a break and know when to ask your boss for a day off. What is emotional maturity? Without You being able to communicate with your partner for more help around the house. Setting healthy boundaries Setting healthy boundaries is a form of self-love and respect. You know how and when to define a line and won’t allow others to cross it. If a colleague belittles or puts you down, you won’t stand for it and will let your voice be heard. How are emotional intelligence and personal integrity linked? How are emotional intelligence and personal integrity linked? Emotional intelligence is how we apply our personal and social-emotional skills in life. Our emotional skills are listed under two subcategories: self-awareness and self-regulation. Both are important in helping us to be a whole and integrated person: Self-awareness is about whether we know what we are feeling if we can assess ourselves and if we are healthily self-confident whereas self-regulation is about self-control, being trustworthy, being conscientious, being adaptable, and being innovative (creative). All these qualities and skills make you a healthy human when it comes to yourself. But we don’t live in vacuums, so the social aspect is also very important. Our social-emotional skills focus on our reactions to others (from within- empathy) and our interactions (working with others – social). The empathetic skills are: understanding others, developing others, serving others, leveraging diversity, and political (systemic) awareness. The social skills are influencing, effective communication, conflict management, leadership, change catalyst, building bonds, collaboration and cooperation, and team capabilities (both as a member and leader). When you add Emotional Intelligence to emotional Integrity you come up with a winning combination whether it comes to a new hire, to a new start-up team member, or also, when meeting new people. These are the people, even if they are of the introvert style, that your potential clients and partners are drawn to. How are emotional intelligence and personal integrity linked? Remember that our direction is lost when we do something that is not in congruence with our character and goals. When we try to take shortcuts by hurting others and climbing over their backs, we are hurting ourselves. Thus, being transparent about decisions when you are a manager or in any kind of leadership will keep you true to yourself and your goals. It will keep you accountable and on track for success. Emotional integrity conclusion Emotional integrity conclusion. Emotional integrity is the personal achievement of emotional strength, discipline, and completeness that remains constant no matter what others say or do. It includes both control of emotions and an honest acknowledgment of them—pleasant or unpleasant. When we achieve emotional integrity, we are steady, consistent, and resilient. Our actions are not determined by the actions of our companions. We are emotionally resilient within ourselves, more enjoyable to live with, and easier to communicate with. We have put our own emotional “houses” in order and are thereby prepared for effective communication with others. Emotional integrity conclusion should be a summary of what takes to have emotional integrity. 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