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My Ex Got Married And It Hurts

MY EX GOT MARRIED AND IT HURTS

My ex got married and it hurts 2

My ex got married and it hurts. Of course, it will hurt because you are human and you loved him/her so much that it hurts to hear that they have tied the knot with someone else.

 

Memories will come running back like high fever and all you can do is sit back and ask strings of questions you have no answer to. This is how you might feel when hit with the news of your ex’s nuptials;

It’s Really and Truly Over

You already knew it was over. Now you KNOW it’s over. In some deep, dark recesses of your mind, you may have been harboring dreams of reuniting and returning to the idyllic days. And those “I dos” act as a big, “I don’t” to any chances of rekindling your romance.

It’s painful to face the finality of a relationship. Your ex getting married is the breakup or divorce equivalent of pulling the plug. There’s no undoing it now.

The Shock Stings

Let us assume you knew your ex was dating, the news of a wedding may come as a shock. And shock hurts worse because of the surprise. You’ve had time to process the end. You’ve been able to adapt to your life’s changes.

And now this. At first, it may feel as though you’re back to square one as you struggle to come to terms with the new informationmy ex got married and it hurts

However… shock fades. The surprise only lasts so long and once you have time to process this new information, its impact will lessen.

I’ve Been Replaced

The feeling of replacement is especially acute if the new spouse moved into your ex’s life before the breakup or marriage ended.

It’s so easy to become depressed over the feeling that he or she had some magic something that you did not. It’s hard not to compare and, in doing so, sell yourself short.

However… Remember that different does not mean better. Maybe the new partner has lower expectations of a spouse and will put up with behaviors that are unacceptable to you.

Perhaps you were traded in for a younger model who will also be traded in when the body begins to sag. Worry less about the replacement and more about you.

My ex just got married and it hurts

My ex just got married and it hurts. Sometimes even remembering the ex we couldn’t have could hurt not to talk of fresh news of your ex getting hitched to his new lover, ouch! that would hurt so bad. You might wonder to yourself, why not me?

You had a blissful relationship with your ex but then things became rough and you broke up with them. Whether you were the one to ditch them or they did it, it is normal for you to feel sad about it.

After all, you had such an amazing connection before things turned sour. What acts as a heartbreaker is when you learn about your ex’s imminent marriage.

Now you may not have the power to stop your ex because he is already married, but you can figure out why exactly you miss them so much and can’t stand to see them with another person and that will be a headway. Don’t keep thinking my ex just got married and it hurts

There are times when you are over with your relationship but are still not able to come to terms with reality. You miss the morning texts when you wake up. You miss the good parts of being with them, and you forget why it all came to an end.

Another reason that may be causing a problem for you is that you still follow them on social media. This can be harmful.

Although it will feed your curiosity to know everything about their life, it will slow down the transition stage and keep you lingering on the ‘move-on’ phase. You have to make some necessary changes to realize that you have broken up

Tips on how to manage the news of a newly married ex

  1. Take your time

Our ability to feel makes us human. So, you do not have to choke yourself by letting your feelings suffocate you. That would be you spiraling out of control and you would need that eventually. Instead, you should take your time to feel everything.

It is okay to feel the way you do. After all, that person was the most important one in your life at some point in time.

You would have imagined being in the place of the bride/groom by their side. Embrace the sadness and cry it out loud. Once you are done with this, tell yourself that you won’t bother yourself with this ever again.

  1. Do not hide how you feel

Discussing how you feel about your situation is a way of letting up on it. Sit down and have a conversation with them about how you feel about your ex getting hitched. It could be anyone from your friends to your siblings or even your therapist if you see one.

They will help you feel relaxed by telling you reasons why your ex is no good for you. They can act as a reminder that you should move on. Having these conversations will not get rid of the hurt totally but it will ease it.

  1. Quit keeping tabs on them

Now that you know that your ex just got married, you will feel the constant urge to find out who their partner is. You have to control the urge of going through their social media accounts to find out how they are doing these days.

It will be a futile effort only dragging you to feel miserable so don’t stalk them. I understand the urge to want to peep in on their life to see how well they are doing without you but trust me, it’s a waste of your valuable time.

  1. Get busy

Always going to a close friend or sibling for emotional support is no way to get over your newly wedded ex, you have to take it easy on that chore! This is because you cannot have your loved ones support you all the time.

You have to deal with this on your own. You can join a sports club or start gymming. It will take all focus towards a much positive side, getting fit and mentally strong.

  1. Steer clear of them

While you are trying to get over your married ex, you obviously shouldn’t call them, not even to congratulate them even if you are happy for them.

But unless you ended on good terms, this is not such a good idea. You will end up saying negative things to them in the end, after your congratulations. Things might get even worse.

This will leave you feeling devastated. So, avoid the trouble of going through the pain of pretending to be happy about their marriage. Just leave them be. Enjoy your own life and forget about them now.

My ex is getting married and it hurts Reddit

My ex is getting married and it hurts Reddit. Here is a story about an ex getting married shared on Reddit.

I just found out through mutual friends that my ex is getting married in a few days. We were together for 2.5 years and I switched jobs, moved cities, and gave up most of what I owned to be with him. He said he wanted to marry me and always talked as though a proposal was in the future.

However, it wasn’t. After I gave up everything and moved in with him, things changed drastically. He didn’t allow me to unpack all of my boxes, saying that he would clear out some of the kitchen items and I could unpack them as a “reward” after I changed certain things he wanted me to change.

 

At the beginning of the relationship, he would text every day and send flowers once a week but that all came to a screeching halt after I moved in as well. He would never go with me to see my family but expected me to show up and be on my best behavior at his family functions.

 

He didn’t communicate with me, and would time how long I talked about my day each evening and cut me off after a few minutes saying; “I’ve been listening for 20 minutes, so now I’m getting back to work.”

 

He wouldn’t eat with me, bought his groceries separately like a roommate, wouldn’t clear room for me to put up pictures of my family (he was in his 30’s and displayed his high school yearbooks instead), did his laundry separately, and was secretive about his life. I never felt like he truly let me in.

 

Before I moved out, he was already talking to another girl. He got engaged to this girl and they seem profoundly happy together. They are getting married in a few days. I don’t know why, but it’s crushing me.

 

I’ve had one serious relationship since then that didn’t work out. I can’t help but wonder why he viewed me as a “throw-away” but this girl as a keeper. I’m hurt by this, but I don’t know why? I guess I am confused about what I did wrong, and how he was able to treat her well but not me.

 

This story ‘my ex is getting married and it hurts Reddit is one of the many experiences people have to share

My ex-girlfriend is getting married and it hurt

My ex girlfriend is getting married and it hurts

My ex-girlfriend is getting married and it hurts. A common misconception ladies have about men is that regardless of what they do to hurt their man, he feels nothing. They feel the male gender is emotionless and passive.

 

Francis, a final-year student of geology dated his girlfriend Katherine, a second-year student of linguistics for almost two years before she called it quits. At this time Francis was already a graduate and out of school.

 

He was devastated but the male pride had him, feeling she would come around.

Roughly six months later, news and pictures of Katherine’s engagement were plastered all over their mutual friend’s statuses.

 

How he felt, according to him, had him deeply saddened and he sought her out to explain how she was engaged to someone barely six months after their so-called breakup which he didn’t acknowledge.

 

This meeting only made him feel worse as he found out that the wedding was sooner than he thought and nothing she said made sense to him. She accused him of things he didn’t know were a problem to her while they were dating.

 

So many thoughts crossed his mind on what to do and handle the situation. His friends advised on what to do and nothing seemed to answer the question “why not him?”

 

Don’t overreact

Even in a scenario where you were egregiously mistreated, do not do anything motivated by a desire for vengeance.

 

While you should not do anything dangerous or illegal, you should also avoid saying or doing anything disrespectful. In particular, do not repeatedly contact her to question her righteousness or morality.

  • When you’re feeling betrayed you will likely catch yourself thinking one-dimensionally in terms of who is in the wrong. Do not allow your initial thoughts and feelings to guide your behavior.
  • Avoid making a scene or acting hysterical. This may mean avoiding your ex if seeing her will lead to strong emotional responses.
  • If you’re struggling to keep it together, commit to a regular daily routine. Structure and repetitiveness are comforting, especially when you may be stressed.
  • Avoid using alcohol or drugs to cope. Not only are these unhealthy behaviors, but they may also lead you to behave in ways that you will regret. Instead, try calming yourself with deep breathing, meditation, going for a run, or doing anything else that helps you center yourself.

 

Start dating someone new.

Get my ex-girlfriend got married and it hurts narrative out of your life. Some of the scarier aspects of enduring a romantic partner marrying someone else are the different forms of self-doubt that will inevitably arise.

 

You may find yourself questioning your ability to trust someone again or to maintain a romantic relationship. Nip these doubts in the bud by dating someone else.

  • Take advantage of your newfound freedom! This doesn’t mean you have to jump into anything serious. You shouldn’t. That said, you should introduce yourself to that cute barista you’re always happy to see.
  • If you are feeling betrayed and find it difficult to trust enough to start dating, take some time to work on coping with your emotions and learning to trust again.

 

My ex-wife is getting married and it hurts

My ex wife is getting married and it hurts

My ex-wife is getting married and it hurts. Some say a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Despite one being more tumultuous than the other, both involve heartbreak and struggle to move on.

 

Divorce can take a toll on you especially when you don’t see it coming. Even if you do see it coming, it’s still overwhelming and a hard pill to swallow. Now imagine struggling with your separation from your wife and you get the news that they are getting married!. That will throw you off balance.

 

A few years ago, a friend of mine was going through a  divorce and he said to me, “It’s been a year and I’m still not over it. I WANT to be over it—over her, but I just don’t know how to do it.”

 

I felt sorry for him because I get it. No one can help a person get over their ex-wife. The person has to do it on their own, and on their timetable.” Just know that weeping every day, my ex-wife got married and it hurts is getting old” I told him

 

Sure, there are things you can do to TRY to get over your ex–like see a therapist, engage in a new hobby, find faith, exercise, start volunteering, focus on career, etc, and they might help, but the letting goes part is all up to you.

 

YOU are the one deciding when you can accept it and move on. No one else can do that for you.

 

You need to take extra precautions as a divorcee because there are certain things you will do that will hinder you from moving on and remaining bitter about your ex-wife.

 

Play the victim.

The victim mentality is poisonous. What victims do is fantasize that their ex’s new life is perfect while theirs is lonely and sad. They say things like “My wife dumped me” and “I can’t believe this happened to me.” They talk as if something horrible has been done to them.

While I think everyone going through a divorce deserves an amount of time to feel sorry for themselves, that time needs to come to an end at some point.

The focus needs to become so much larger than “this is what was done to me.” It might hurt like hell right now, but things will get better, especially if you act on opportunities that will make your life better and happier.

Stay angry.

While it’s normal (and healthy actually) to be angry for some time, holding onto anger is toxic. It will prevent you from ever moving on in a real way, or with any productivity. Again, it’s OK and normal to feel angry for a little while, but know when enough is enough.

Anger is a complete waste of energy. It’s bad for you and very bad for your kids if you have any. Instead of being angry, channel that energy into perseverance that will lead to finding your new life; one that will make you truly happy.

Blame yourself.

“If only I’d been a better husband…” “I should have taken that trip to the Maldives with her when she asked me last year…” “I underappreciated her…” These are really bad things to say to yourself.

No one goes into a marriage with intentions to fail, but the fact remains that we all make mistakes, and when people get divorced, they come out of the marriage with regrets.

Even people who are still happily married have regrets. Remember that you were the best husband you thought you could be at the time. No need to look back and say “should have.”

My ex-husband is getting married and it hurts

My ex husband is getting married and it hurts

My ex-husband is getting married and it hurts. How does the saying go? Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. It is a popular belief that women are emotionally fragile in nature and a divorce/breakup will unlock a part of her that you should dread. Every woman grieves from a divorce differently.

 

While some accept their situation quickly, some are willing to make you as unhappy as they are which honestly is not a way to heal. Imagine having the constant thought ‘my ex-husband is getting married and it hurts’ on your mind. Sometimes you may have dodged a bullet or lost the love of your life.

 

Oftentimes when your ex-husband or ex-wife gets married quickly, they have left the marriage emotionally long before your split.

It could also be that it is a rebound for them, a way to ease their pain or frustration. Either way, you have to move without holding grudges. It is ok to feel a lot of things when you hear that your ex-husband is getting married just don’t center on it wholly.

 

In closing, remember that no matter how long it has been since the split, seeing your ex commit to life with someone else is a strange feeling. It brings out lots of emotions and old wounds. It can mess with your head.

The best advice I can give is to focus on your own life and make choices that make you happy. Focus on your kids, on your job, your love life, your friends, and enjoying life. Doing those things will make you go from “My ex is getting remarried and it hurts” to “I am not getting remarried and it feels great to live the life I’m living.”

My ex-boyfriend is getting married and it hurts

My ex boyfriend is getting married and it hurts

My ex-boyfriend is getting married and it hurts. I have a friend who was dating a medical doctor. I would say they were pretty much in love but insecurity led her to always suspect that he was up to no good.

 

You see she would always call from time to time to complain about him and sometimes I would advise her to calm down and watch him or if she wasn’t so comfortable again she should leave.

They broke up severally and got back together up until the last breakup when she decided to make it a little difficult to get her back.

 

This only got messier because she had moved in with him at the time and she had to move out after the breakup. Before she left, she hacked his phone so she could see messages her ex-boyfriend received.

 

Months passed and there was a particular girl her ex got fond of and they texted each other all the time but she felt there would be no headway for them and she’d reconcile with her boyfriend again. Only this time there would be no reconciliation.

 

Her ex proposed to the new girl and things only got worse when she found out that the girl was pregnant and the wedding had to be sooner before it was obvious. This friend of mine was beyond devastated.

 

She said my ex-boyfriend is getting married and it hurts like hell. She could not contain her feelings. I watched her change in a bid to get over him.

I had some advice for her because she was going through it.

 

She had to accept it was over

Technically you could still live in some fantasy world where you think the two of you could still work out — and hey, never say never. In reality, though, the reunion of two long-lost loves rarely happens. If he’s moved on happily with a different woman, you should look ahead to your future instead of longing for the past.

 

You can feel jealous

Yes, you can feel jealous. That was the love of your life. There are varying degrees of jealousy according to how long ago you broke up, how bad it was, and how much you still care about him. Be real — you still care about all of your exes to some extent. You can’t just throw away feelings of love for a person.

 

You may be jealous of his new girlfriend. You may be jealous of him for moving on while you’re still processing. Everyone has their way of working through grief, but it sucks when yours takes longer.

 

Don’t wonder if she’s better than you

You can drive yourself crazy with this one, especially if he broke up with you. Suddenly you’re measuring your every quality against those of someone you probably don’t even know.

Hopefully, you don’t know her! That’s a whole different kind of hell. It makes you feel small and insecure and bad about yourself to know that he’s with someone who is somehow “better” for him than you were. Heartbreak is a hard pill.

 

Don’t wish his marriage fails

This will all be a waste when you eventually move on. No one wants to admit it, but everyone has this thought at least once in a while. If he hurts you, this feeling is especially likely to surface.

 

You can swear up and down all you want to your friends that you “only want the best for him” and hope that he “ends up happy”, but sometimes you just want him to hurt as much as he hurt you. It’s selfish, it’s petty, and it’s bound to happen. You’re not a saint. If you honestly don’t feel this, more power to you.

 

You will feel lonely

No matter the number of friends you surround yourself with, you will still feel lonely at some point and it is totally fine. Not only do you miss the man who was most recently yours, now you have to imagine him in the arms of another woman.

It feels doubly lonely to know for sure that you’re the only one missing your relationship. Men tend to move on faster than women in general, but it sucks to know for a fact that he has. Social media makes it almost impossible not to find out. If you aren’t ready to date or don’t have any prospects, it gets depressing.

My ex-wife is dating and it hurts

My ex wife is dating and it hurts

My ex-wife is dating and it hurts. It’s been a while since you last thought about your ex-wife. You took time to grieve, heal, and move forward. You may have even started dating someone better for you.

You’re at that point where you can confidently say that you’d never consider getting back together.

 

But yet, why does seeing your ex-wife with someone else make you feel heartbroken all over again?

In some cases, the “pain” you feel when your ex moves on might not have anything to do with having lingering feelings for them. It may just be your ego getting bruised. The ego can play a big role in feeling hurt.

 

Some people like the idea of someone having feelings for them even if they don’t reciprocate it back. It makes them feel wanted. There’s comfort in thinking there’s someone out there who’s still hung up on you. And seeing your ex with someone else can ruin the illusion you created for yourself.

 

When you invest time and energy into trying to make a relationship work, it can make you feel like a complete failure when it doesn’t. Seeing your ex happy with someone else can be a reminder of that and you can’t stop thinking to yourself my ex-wife is dating and it hurts. It’s easy to forget why you broke up and place all the blame on yourself. Keep in mind that everyone looks happy in the first part of a relationship

 

In addition to making you feel like a failure, a breakup can also feel like a loss. You watch them start the process of falling in love and committing to their new partner and you feel hollow.

 

At this point, you can’t tell them not to move on but you have to find strength from within to pull yourself out of that self-guilt and hurt. It will not be easy but it will be worth it.

 

Sarah, a single mother, is currently dealing with a bitter ex-husband. They have been separated for two years and they were co-parenting well until she met Caleb and her ex suddenly had an issue with how often she brought their son to visit.

 

Caleb makes her feel better about herself because she had to deal with the stigma of not being able to make her marriage work. She feels less like a failure than she did two years earlier.

The divorce hurt her as much as it hurt him but she couldn’t remain in that same headspace she did years before.

 

She accepted the fact that they couldn’t grow past their differences in their marriage and they were better off as friends. But her ex doesn’t seem to want her happiness and it’s straining their relationship as co-parents.

 

I had a few pieces of advice for Sarah.

  1. Develop an effective communication strategy.

Hostile exes love to use electronic communication to criticize, attack and threaten. Just seeing their name come in on an email is enough to trigger your gag reflex. Knee-jerk reactions to respond in kind, or fire back lengthy self-defense are understandable but will inflame the conflict.

 

You must develop a strategy to deflect the hostility and limit their access to you. Don’t respond to electronic communication more than once daily. If possible, wait 24 hours before writing back. Don’t hit “send” before you thoroughly read over what you’ve written. Delete anything that smacks of sarcasm or anger. Imagine you’re a reporter laying out the facts: stick to logistics and keep your feelings out of it.

 

  1. Keep kids out of the middle.

Raising children with a hostile ex is one of the most difficult byproducts of divorce. But you must develop strategies to prevent your children from being used as artillery.

If your kids tell you about the crappy things your ex says about you, many of which are lies, do not fire off an email setting your ex straight. Remember: your job is to disengage from the conflict. Tell your kids you understand that Dad is angry.

 

Acknowledge that it must be upsetting to hear their parents aren’t getting along. Advise them to come to you directly with questions and concerns about you instead of trying to get their dad to do it for them.

Also, try to stay calm when you talk to them about your ex; otherwise, they will go back and report that you seemed angry, which will fuel more fire.

 

  1. Develop coping skills

Find a favorable coping skill that will work for both parties and stick to it. When you’re co-parenting, tensions can run high, so it’s important to have someone to talk to when you’re going through difficult times.

 

This could be a trusted religious leader in your community, a good friend that can help you see both sides clearly, or even a supportive Facebook group (search co-parenting support groups and find one that feels like a safe place for your needs). Another unique and helpful resource is the CoParenter App which filters communications between co-parents.

Why am I upset my ex got married?

Why am I upset my ex got married. Why not? You have a right to feel however you want to but just don’t do anything stupid to make it worse.

This is Juanita’s story of how she felt watching her sister get married after her breakup and learning of her ex’s engagement.

 

FIVE years ago I was dumped by a man that I thought I was going to marry. We had been together for five years and I had left a job abroad so that we could live together.

 

I was shocked and devastated when he told me he didn’t want to continue the relationship. Looking back, I think he was starting to come under pressure from friends and family to propose and this made him realize that he didn’t want to spend his life with me.

 

I have found it difficult to move on from this and I asked myself severally, why am I upset my ex got married?. I am now 37. My 29-year-old sister recently announced her engagement and asked me to be her bridesmaid. I love my sister and want her to be happy but I’m not sure if I can do this.

 

I couldn’t help this sinking feeling I got when she announced she was getting married and now the thought of being a bridesmaid again fills me with dread.

 

I have always wanted to get married and have children and I feel this is slipping past me. My sister is the youngest of four and I never dreamed that she would reach these milestones before I did. I don’t resent her but I can’t help wondering why I can’t have the same.

 

Part of me thinks she has asked me to be her bridesmaid almost out of pity to distract me from my single life. Just a couple of weeks later I found out that my ex-boyfriend had also gotten engaged.

 

To say I was devastated sounds dramatic but that’s what it feels like. I hadn’t honestly been thinking about him, but when I heard he was engaged, it all came flooding back.

 

It was like he had dumped me all over again. I could barely go to work for the week. I don’t know why I feel like this. I have told a couple of friends, one of whom thinks I am still in love with him.

 

The second believes it’s just a phase and I need to find someone to distract me. It’s not as if I haven’t tried to date over the last few years. I have, but nothing has ever worked out. I just don’t know what to do.

Juanita will get over this, but she’s not wrong for feeling this way. She couldn’t handle everything at once and now she feels lost

Whatever you’re going through isn’t new, what’s new would be how you handle the situation.

How did you feel when your ex got married?

How did you feel when your ex got married

How did you feel when your ex got married? Well, I haven’t experienced an ex getting married before because they’re all still single. I only know how it feels from someone else’s perspective and experience.

 

I’ll share with you how George felt about his ex’s wedding. It’ll amaze you to know that he attended the wedding uninvited. Lucky him, it wasn’t an attendance strictly by invitation

There are plenty of good reasons not to go to an ex’s wedding: unresolved feelings, a bad breakup that still stings, or if you’d be going only to prove you could handle it.

 

But none of those reasons applied here. And I don’t stay home from events because they might be awkward or because I don’t have a date.

So yes, the bride was an ex, but she’s also one of my oldest, closest friends. I was going to the wedding.

I just didn’t expect to spend the couple’s first dance crying in a porta-potty.

 

The bride and I bonded while working on our college newspaper in the early 2000s.

We started dating only after our editor demanded to know what was going on between us. (she thought we were carrying on a secret relationship; in reality, we flirted a lot but were too chicken to do anything about it.)

 

After that, we admitted our feelings, became a couple, and ended up running the newspaper as editor in chief and managing editor.

Most of the time we were good to each other and for each other: she tends to be calm and steady where I can be high-strung and stressed out, he’s more visual where I’m verbal, and we have a lot of fun together.

 

By graduation two years later, though, we decided to break up: I was going off to Washington; he was staying out West. It was also clear to me that there had to be a better match out there for each of us.

In the years since college, we found our rhythm as friends. We talk regularly and see each other several times a year. She’s laughed with me over stories of failed relationships; I’ve gotten along with his serious girlfriends and then his fiancee.

 

She just found that great match sooner than I’ve found mine. Normally I’m secure in my singlehood, but this wedding weekend was hard. It was one of the first where I’ve been one of few single guests (welcome to your 30s, George!), and I got a lot more questions about my relationship status than usual.

 

When relatives of the bride, who hadn’t seen me in years, asked “Who are you here with?” I responded with what I thought was the truth: “Oh, I’m not here with anyone.”

Until my friend Alana, standing a few feet away corrected me: “he’s here with us!”. Then she asked,” how did you feel when your ex got married? Truly I felt devastated at first but I’ve accepted the outcome of our split.

 

With lots of college friends at the wedding, I essentially had a plus one plus 10. And they were better than any date would have been.

When two friends wanted to sit close to the front for the ceremony, just behind the groom’s family, and I suggested we sit just one row farther back, they got it; I didn’t have to explain.

 

We still sat so close that, when the groom walked up the aisle to meet the bride a little early, that intimate moment happened just inches from my aisle seat. Too close!

 

At one point that night, the bride thanked me for coming. “It means a lot to me that you’re here,” she said. The look on her face also said: I know this is hard for you.

“It means a lot to me, too,” I said.

If there are vows for being friends with an ex, that’s what they sound like.

My ex got married and it hurts conclusion

My ex got married and it hurts conclusion

My ex got married and it hurts. When we fall in love, we often believe that the relationship will last forever. We always hope that this one is the one, that it will be different this time, that there’s no way anything can ever happen to break you up.

Except, sometimes those things can happen and you do break up. If we only look at the divorce rate, research shows it is around 50% (although measuring divorce rates is more complex than comparing marriages to divorces in a single year).1

Because they are not as closely monitored, it is also much more difficult to obtain rates on casual and common law partnerships that break up.

Relationships end for a wide variety of reasons. Conflict is one common reason, but sometimes it involves other reasons that mean ending a relationship with someone you still care about. When this happens, you have to learn how to break up with someone you love.

We say the “right” way, but in reality, there is no right or “best” way to break up. Every relationship is different, and every person in a relationship is different. It is up to you to consider the personality, needs, and feelings of your partner as you read through this article and figure out how to end things.

Recognize That It’s Never Easy

Understand that there is no pain-free way to break up. We all wish that we could end relationships without any hurt or pain. But no matter how broken the relationship is, officially ending it will cause pain on both sides. Once you acknowledge that there will be a pain, you can be prepared for the aftermath.

Do It Face-to-Face

Your partner deserves the dignity of a face-to-face conversation. An intimate setting is arguably better, but if you are worried about your partner having a violent reaction, a public place is safer.

Express your sadness at the breakup and share some good things about your time together. Being dumped feels bad. You can soften the blow a little by talking about some of the good times you shared.

Say something like, “You taught me so much about cooking and I am a better cook now, thanks to you,” or something similar. You want to make the other person feel like they had a positive impact on your life despite the relationship ending.

You may also want to say something like, “I had hoped for us to grow old together, and I am sad that it will not happen.” It shows that you share some of your partner’s hurt feelings about broken hopes.

Avoid Blaming or Shaming

Avoid turning the other person into “the bad guy.” Nobody’s perfect. You have faults too, and turning your ex-partner into an evil figure is not helpful (aside from obvious instances of violence, but that’s not the kind of relationship we’re talking about here).

They may have done some bad things, like cheating, but they are human too. It’s better to resolve your feelings around what they did (if they did anything wrong) rather than who they are.

Further reading

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I still love my ex

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