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My Ex Keeps Coming Back

My Ex Keeps Coming Back

My Ex Keeps Coming Back

My ex keeps coming back. “Do you have an ex who wouldn’t let you go” Statistics show that a large number of couples who break up get back together or wish to get back together, with only a small percentage of this being successful while the others just get back together to break up again.

It is often difficult to move on from an intimate relationship, this is because, being in an intimate relationship in the first place requires a level of trust and dependency, imagine your mind was a computer, and you had struggled to program it to behave and think a certain way, just for everything to change and you have programmed it again, that would take a lot of time and effort.

And it some cases if not properly done you tend to find it going back to its initial programming, although our minds are clearly not computers, the human mind tends to behave in a similar manner when In a relationship because it takes the mind time to process and accept the behaviour of our partners and in some cases emulate it,

Hence why after the break up it’s usually hard to move on.

The sentence “my ex keeps coming backis used by many people who have had persistent exes. Due to the above-mentioned reasons and a few other reasons which would be mentioned in the course of this article.

Having an ex who keeps coming back is not uncommon, likewise accepting an ex who keeps coming back, happens to a lot of people, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you are weak or your ex is toxic.

In fact, it could sometimes mean that you were once in love and are having a hard time letting go. Although this could be good sometimes, other times it could be really tiring and emotionally draining.

If you have an ex who would not let you go and keeps coming back and you don’t know what to do, or you have a friend who is suffering from a relationship rollercoaster and you want to help,  then sit tight and relax,  because this article is for you, this article is expected to help you understand why he/she wouldn’t let go and what to do about it.

My ex keeps coming back: an ex could be defined as someone you used to have an intimate relationship with, exes

are usually people you are not related to by blood, this could be a boyfriend, lover or husband.

Breakups are hard and difficult to deal with, they could be accompanied by grief and its 7 stages namely;


A break up especially unexpected can cause a lot of shock, in some cases, this happens because most people in honest relationships expect to end up together.


Refusing to accept it happened, at this stage you can find yourself fighting not to reach out or refusing to accept that the break-up happened in the first place.


You feel angry with the ex-partner and sometimes yourself for feeling the emotions you do at the moment.


This is often the begging stage, you find yourself trying to negotiate a comeback if you ever find yourself caught in this stage.

It is best to avoid any meeting with your ex or communication as you might tend to find yourself begging them to come back giving them room to brag “My ex keeps coming back to me, cause I am unforgettable” Of course this depends on if your ex partner’s is psychology.

The two other stages of grief are depression, in this stage one tends to isolate themself, realizing the loneliness that comes with suddenly being taken away from the relationship’s habitual routine of having someone to talk to,

After being able to successfully get through depression then comes acceptance and hope, acceptance that for whatever reason the break up happened, it was for the best, also with the hope that you would find love again.

Imagine having to go through all those stages in a relationship over, and over again because of your partner, because they keep coming back. tiring right? f you are in that kind of situation, it is best to sit and think about it

Ask yourself  “Why  my ex keeps coming back?, “Why did we break up in the first place and why should I accept him?”

There are several types of breakups and these types of breakups answer the question “Why did we break up?” “Should I accept him back?” examples of the types of break up are

  • The break up that comes out of nowhere: also called the unexpected breakup, this happens all of a sudden without a warning or sign, for example, just when you are thinking everything is fine, someone you love tells you it’s over, this type of break-up is extremely hard to get over and could lead to grief.
  • The long-expected and deserved break: this is the break everyone knew was coming and might have been long overdue, this could be due to the bad habit of one of the partners involved.
  • The ultimatum break up: this type of break up could cause a repetitive relationship where you find a person saying My ex keeps coming back to me and I keep going back to him because we hope we could change each other’s minds”

This is because the ultimatum break-up was based on a condition in which one hopes the other can change while the other hopes the other can do.

For example, “If you don’t meet my parents by the end of the week I am out”, this type of break-up is hard to get over for both parties, with one party wishing the other didn’t put a price on their love and the other annoyed that other person couldn’t simply compromise for their love.

  • Circumstantial break up could be due to a circumstance, this could be distance, difference in race, genotypes, or religion, this is often hard for both parties especially when the circumstances are not their doing or something they can prevent making it hard to move on.

There are so many types of break up but for the purpose of this article we would only mention these five, the type of break-up can all determine whether an ex would like to come back or not, in terms of circumstantial break up, and ultimatum break up the words “my ex keeps coming back and I also want him back” wouldn’t be hard to say, after the breakup

This is because, for circumstantial breakup especially in circumstances in which both parties may have not wanted the break up to happen and it only happened for reasons beyond their control, in this case, it may become an on-again, off-again type of relationship because they both find it difficult to move on.

In the case of an ultimatum, an ex may keep coming back because they feel, they didn’t want to end the relationship and their partner may still be accepting hopes that they are ready to fulfil their wishes.

Contrary to most beliefs, exes aren’t always necessarily the bad guys, and having an ex who keeps wanting to come back doesn’t mean the ex is manipulative or he/she is a toxic person, that being said,

Before saying to someone “My ex keeps coming back” it is important to understand the word “keeps” suggests repetition, that is to say, the relationship ends, your ex comes back, the relationship starts again, a break-up happens again…the circle continues.

This endless emotional rollercoaster can be considered very toxic to both parties involved, your ex doesn’t have to necessarily be toxic for your relationship with him/her to be.

What is a toxic relationship: the term toxic is used to define something harmful to life, a toxic person is anyone who brings negativity, and negative emotional impact to your life, that is to say, a toxic relationship can be defined as any relationship that can bring negativity or a negative emotional impact to your life.

How can an on-and-off relationship be toxic, when you say “My ex keeps coming backit suggests an on-and-off relationship is occurring, as earlier stated it suggests repetition, although in some cases it may just mean your ex keeps coming back, while you keep refusing to get back to together.

In a case where the relationship is an on-again and off-again type, it is considered a toxic relationship because of the negative emotional impact it gives, for example, you have a breakup, you go through all the stages of grief and just as you are about to heal your ex comes back, you get back together start to fall again, then it ends and the healing processes start all over again.

The stages of grief are hard to get through and it not only affects the mental health of a person but it also can affect relationships and work, that’s why a relationship that makes you go through all that over and over again is considered quite toxic

I was at a sleepover some years back and a woman kept telling the whole room about, her relationship rollercoaster, she said

“I am so tired, my ex keeps coming back every time I am about to move on and it’s so exhausting, it’s affecting my work, my relationships and my emotions” the woman complained bitterly, everyone else in the room kept relating to the same situation when all of a sudden someone asked; “Why do you keep taking him back”.

Why do you keep taking him back is a very important question when talking about a repetitive relationship, if you’re in a relationship that is repetitive it’s probably because you allow it to happen, that is to say, your ex keeps coming back because he/she knows you would take them back.

One of the many ways to prevent a repetitive relationship is to understand why it ended in the first place, and why it keeps ending whenever you try, again.

So before you complain by saying “My ex keeps coming backstart thinking about why you keep taking him/her back and what the best decision moving forward, if the relationship is worth it or not?, if it’s not then it’s best to avoid the said ex.

in rare cases having an ex who keeps coming back might just be the universe telling you, you two are meant to be, people marry their ex’s who they have been in an on-and-off relationship, for years, they may even end up happily married.

With an emphasis on the word “rare”, although this type of relationship is still sometimes toxic, a solution to it wouldn’t be ignoring the ex but rather understanding the type of relationship.

In summary, there are different types of relationships and breakups, and they all have different effects on a person’s emotions, and an effective way to stop thinking and complaining “My ex keeps coming back” is to think about why the problem occurs in the first place.

that is, how the relationship ended and why your ex keeps coming back, how to solve the problem, that is how to effectively deal with an ex that keeps coming back or in some cases find mutual understanding with a lover.

Why Does My Ex Keep Coming Back After Our Breakup?

Why Does My Ex Keep Coming Back After Our Breakup?

To answer the question: Why does my ex keep coming back after our breakup? A person would have to put into consideration the type of break-up they went through this can be a great influence on why their former partner would want to come back into their lives,

There are so many reasons why an ex would want to come back into a person’s life, these include;

  • Guilt
  • Regret
  • Love
  • As a rebound
  • As an option
  • Sex
  • Because you suddenly become the forbidden apple
  • Commitment issues.
  • Denial
  • To brag

Examples of reasons to answer the question Why does my ex keep coming back after our breakup?”Guilt

Have you ever had an ex who just kept taking you for granted every time you give them a chance, this is an example of a toxic ex, most times they do this because they know you would forgive them, for someone likes this saying “sorry” is either their favourite word or they simply gaslight you into forgiving them.

A break of this kind is called the long overdue type, the type where everyone around you has been waiting for you to leave your toxic partner but you keep holding on to hope that they would change before you finally let go.

In this case the statement “you don’t know what you have until you lose it” comes into play and your ex realises they let something special go, this leads to them feeling guilty and wanting to make it right

Why does my ex keep coming back after our breakup?Love

“When you love something you let it go, if it’s yours it would come back to you”, your ex who keeps coming back to you may just be the love of your life who, either lets you go or you let go. Sometimes love could be the reason your ex keeps coming back, this especially happens when the reason for the separation was circumstantial.

When the reason for the separation was neither of the lover’s fault they unconsciously find themselves getting back together, in a case where a permanent solution has not been found to the reason for the initial separation, a repetition can occur.

An example of a circumstantial break-up could be, religious differences, ethnic differences, or parents not agreeing, I once knew someone who used to always complain “I don’t know why my ex keeps coming back whilst still stalking her ex and hoping he comes back.

This was because they had a strong feeling of love for each other, and they only broke up because their parents were sworn enemies, I used to call them “Romeo and Juliet” because their parents were from different towns and they had strong negative beliefs of the other.

The two couldn’t stay away from each other despite their parent’s disapproval, their relationship became an on-and-off relationship because they loved each other too much they both couldn’t stay away, but they also respected their parent’s opinion, at the end, their parents had no choice but to agree and the ended up very happy.

Why does my ex keep coming back after our breakup? -as a rebound. Sometimes an ex could be getting back to you simply as a rebound, using you as a cushion to fall on, have you ever been your exes rebound? Most times your ex wouldn’t tell you he or she is using you as a rebound, you just find them coming back to you after a breakup.

If you ever had an ex who kept coming back to you after every break up then his most probably using you as a rebound, in most cases, they might come to you saying “I need you back, there is no one like you” or compare you to the person they just broke up with saying they did it because they couldn’t get over you

In some cases, this may be true but in a case where it keeps reoccurring and they keep being in different relationships, you are most probably used as a rebound, in this case, you really need to sit down and tell your self “My ex keeps coming back to me as a rebound and not because he loves me”.

-As an option, when you make yourself available to your ex to run back to any time they face a challenge or feel emotional, you become an option to them, this makes the ex treat you even worse every time, in a world where getting a good date is difficult your ex could just be using you as an option when they are bored or wouldn’t want to go somewhere alone.

If your ex only comes back to you when they need you to do something for them or go somewhere with them the next day, then they are probably using you as an option or when they only come back when have had a terrible dating experience or are feeling emotional.

Why does my ex keep coming back after our breakup? -without knowing, your revenge body could be the reason your ex can’t stay away. The glow you get when you suddenly take charge of your life and are finally at peace, This happens to most people who were in toxic relationships,

A toxic relationship can affect both the mental and physical state of a person, people in toxic relationships can find themselves losing weight, looking pale and even sometimes looking unkept, this is because the relationship is emotionally draining, making it difficult for the person to take care of themself.

In most cases once the victim of such a relationship finds freedom, they find a sudden peace and self-discovery, leading to a beautiful glow-up, which makes your ex want you back, if you are someone like this who has finally found your glow, look in the mirror admire your body and say this “my ex keeps coming back, but I am not going to accept them, because I deserve better”

sex another reason an ex might want to come back is because they miss the action and are not getting any out there, in this case, you find them coming back just to get some action before either picking up a fight or ghosting you.

-Some people find it thrilling to always want what they don’t have, after a breakup, regardless of a visible glow up, revenge body or not and the ex might just start to find you attractive because you are no longer with them,  in this case, you find your ex yarning for you, as they keep coming back

Why does my ex keep coming back after our breakup? -Commitment issues, have you ever dated someone who has commitment issues?? You can see they want you, you know they love you but every time you get closer to them, they withdraw, they just can’t commit because they are afraid or are going through trauma.

Commitment issues are an example of why an ex would keep coming back after a breakup, having commitment issues could be a psychological problem.

This could be due to relationship trauma or fear for in this case you may find yourself saying “My ex doesn’t know what he wants, my ex keeps coming back to me but whenever we plan to take the relationship further he backs out”.

A person could have commitment issues due to fear of heartbreak, this could be because they have experience heartbreak or someone they care about did.

Another cause of commitment issues could simply be indecisiveness, they are uncertain what they want or how to get it, either way, if you have an ex who has commitment issues, it’s best not to keep taking them back until they have either seen a professional or made up their mind.

Why does my ex keep coming back after our breakup?in a situation where a break up is not probably defined some people tend to find themselves denying the break up actually existed, this is among the 7 stages of grief,

When in denial an ex-lovers may find themselves constantly going back into the relationship.

Just to Manipulate you, or brag about it, some people are just toxic in nature. These kinds of people could be often called narcissists, a narcissist is a person who has an excessive level of self-admiration, a narcissist would always like to feel like they are admired and wanted by everyone.

Being a narcissist could be the reason your ex keeps coming back, they do this to prove to themselves that they could get you back whenever they wanted and they are special or unforgettable.

Human beings are diverse in thinking and the human mind is very unpredictable, when talking about the topic “my ex keeps coming back” one must put into consideration so many things, this includes the psychology of the ex, the psychology of the person making the statement.

It is advised not to make sudden judgments of exes, especially from a third-party perspective.

What Are Some Strategies To Effectively Deal With An Ex Who Keeps Coming Back?

What Are Some Strategies To Effectively Deal With An Ex Who Keeps Coming Back?

What are some strategies to effectively deal with an ex who keeps coming back? As earlier mentioned there are several reasons an ex would want to come back to you, and without properly considering the reason for the question, this can’t be probably answered.

Below are some strategies to deal with an ex who keeps coming back and circumstances with which these strategies become more effective;

  • Accept and understand that you are responsible for letting them come back.
  • Communicate and find closure
  • Take a break from the relationship world and your ex.
  • Build yourself
  • Break-up or Relationship Counseling
  • Avoid them
  • Move on, if ready

-An effective way to deal with an ex who keeps coming back is to first understand and accept that you keep letting them come back, you are responsible for opening the window for them to try and sometimes successfully come back

What are some strategies to effectively deal with an ex who keeps coming back?communicate and find closure, this, of course, depends on the type of relationship and how it ended, if the relationship ended suddenly due to something circumstantial like distance or genotype, one way to effectively deal with it is to communicate with each other.

Communication brings about closure, it would help you understand why you broke up in the first place, why you can’t stay away from each other and if you should continue to move further, or just end the relationship.

Alright communication doesn’t know always work in all types of breaks up for example the long overdue doesn’t require communication as it is clear why the relationship ended in the first place, choosing to  communicate and find closure depends on the type of ex for example

If in a relationship with a manipulative ex, it is advised to simply avoid them for fear of manipulation

What are some strategies to effectively deal with an ex who keeps coming back?a repetitive relationship can be quite exhausting, it can also affect your mental and physical health and also your sense of good judgment, one effective strategy to deal with an ex who keeps coming back is to take a break from dating the world completely,

Taking a break from the dating world allows you time to heal, properly think and understand the time of relationship you have, this would help as an effective strategy to properly deal with the ex who keeps coming back.

This also allows you time to build yourself

What are some strategies to effectively deal with an ex who keeps coming back?Build yourself, imagine a person who lives for their partner constantly making sacrifices for their partner, and forgetting their own self,

For someone like this, a break-up should be an opportunity for self-development, not an in-again, out-again relationship, especially if it was a long overdue type of relationship, one effective strategy to deal with an ex who keeps coming back is to build yourself,

“How is building yourself dealing with an ex?” You may ask, thanks quite simple, in some cases, the only reason you keep taking that ex is that you don’t know your worth, people who don’t know their self-worth may tend to find themselves saying “My ex keeps coming back, and I keep taking him back because I don’t think I can find love anywhere else”

That’s a very unproductive way to think, people who think like this tend to tolerate more than they are supposed, accepting an ex who lacks proper value, for example, a woman in her late 40s who sticks to an ex-husband who keeps coming back just because she thinks she is too old to find love, in this kind of situation

Building yourself is the most effective strategy, building oneself mentally, physically (revenge body) and emotionally (self-love), a certain level of confidence comes with self-development, which could make a person realize that they deserve more than they were accepting and the process may attract what they deserve.

Either way, self-development can never go wrong, because at the end you might not even need love when you fully love yourself

What are some strategies to effectively deal with an ex who keeps coming back?counselling can be defined as the provision of professional assistance in resolving issues, in some cases the best way to deal with an ex who keeps coming back is counselling,

That is to speak to a professional who can offer a professional solution tailored to meet your need, when speaking to a professional they use the information given to them to find the perfect solution to fit the problem, I mean who better to complain “my ex keeps coming back” to than a professional who has seen and hear of similar cases several times in their lives.

There are specific counsellors who work as relationship or break-up experts and could help in healing from a breakup and advice on how to deal with an ex who wouldn’t stay away.

A relationship counsellor may be required in a situation where there is hope for the relationship, that is if the reason for the constant break up could be psychologically explained, for example, commitment issues or lack of proper communication and understanding.

What are some strategies to effectively deal with an ex who keeps coming back?Avoid them, this strategy is best for a toxic narcissistic ex, these types of people fuel on the discomfort they cause you making the best way to deal with them simply to avoid them,

Having any form of communication with such a person could give them room to manipulate or gaslight you into getting back into the relationship.

Gaslighting can be done by shifting the blame or making you question if you broke up with them for a good reason, this, in turn, makes you constantly question your judgement giving them room to walk in and out of your life as they please.

Such people should definitely be avoided, One can avoid such an ex by seizing any form of communication with them, and anyone who they can get to you though, you can do those blocking all their numbers, and social media handles, ignore them and look away at social gatherings until they have stopped disturbing to come back.

What are some strategies to effectively deal with an ex who keeps coming back?move when ready, this strategy was saved for last in this article for a reason, moving on is only an effective strategy when one is ready, if not it is just a bad decision,

Moving without proper preparation and just to deal with an ex could be a bad decision because it could lead to another terrible relationship and another emotional rollercoaster for example;

You move on from your ex to someone new without proper healing and self-development, you may end up finding someone who is exactly like your ex or worse, this could either lead to another breakup, another episode of having to say “My ex keeps coming” or it could make you miss an ex you shouldn’t be missing.

Moving on could be an effective strategy to deal with an ex who keeps coming back but it’s a prerequisite to proper healing and self-development. That is to say, it’s better to stay happy than in a relationship that would make you miss your ex.

Although these strategies are proven to help in dealing with an ex who keeps coming back, it is only effective if properly done with all things considered.

It is also important to note that if you have a friend that keeps saying “My ex keeps coming back” whilst still taking their ex back, it is best to  avoid judging them, this is because breakups are not easy to deal with, and they might be circumstances which you might be unaware of,

Before giving advice to such a friend it is important to understand the circumstances of their relationship first, why they broke up, how they broke up, and why said friend keeps taking his/her ex back, bearing in mind to recommend a professional when needed.

My Ex Keeps Coming Back Conclusion

My Ex Keeps Coming Back Conclusion

My Ex Keeps Coming Back Conclusion. Breakups are often hard to deal with especially when you loved the person wholeheartedly, while dealing with a breakup it is almost impossible to refuse the ex who keeps coming back, although it may be difficult refusing an ex who wants to come back might just be the best.

My Ex Keeps Coming Back Conclusion. There are certain factors to consider dealing with an ex, these include the nature of the former relationship, the reason for the break, and factors that affect the strategies which can be used to deal with an ex who keeps coming back.


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