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Who Can I Talk To About Relationship Issues?

Who Can I Talk To About Relationship Issues?

Who Can I Talk To About Relationship Issues 1

Who can I talk to about relationship issues? In many relationships, it becomes one person’s job to bring issues out into the open and one person’s job to keep a sense of proportion. Or perhaps you each take on one of these roles at different times.


Both jobs are equally important. If you both brought up issues all the time, you would go round in circles, endlessly analysing every look or tone of voice from the other. If each of you always held back, nothing would ever be solved.


If your partner clams up when talking about relationship problems, it may help to understand their fears about being more open. They may be worried about making a difficult situation worse.


Or maybe they’re unsure of their feelings and trying to think them through before speaking. At this point, you may have a list of options and you wonder “Who can I talk to about relationship issues?


If one of you is feeling upset, anxious, or stressed, even neutral phrases like “we need to talk” can be heard as “you need to listen while I complain”. So it’s important to think carefully about how to bring up any issues you may be having and to be sure to allow your partner plenty of chances to give their side.


If they fail to listen and hatch things out, you think to yourself “who next? A friend? Or a relationship counsellor? Who can I talk to about relationship issues?


A Relationship Counsellor


When you visit a relationship counsellor or go to therapy for the first time, you might wonder how to start difficult topics concerning your relationship. You might have questions like ‘will this work?’, ‘What to expect in couples therapy?’


Before you go to the relationship counsellor, you need to identify the problem in the relationship. There can be various causes of counselling for couples.


When you want to work on the marriage intimacy

Parenting issues

Health concerns, responsibilities, and loss of dear ones

Money disputes

Issues with in-laws

Substance abuse

Relationship transitions like pregnancy, separation, etc


Anger issues


When the individual wants to resolve any major or minor problem in a peaceful manner

When they go to a couples counsellor to find a solution through relationship therapy, it is an opportunity to put all the issues on the table with the objective of a positive resolution.


For some, relationship therapy, especially if pursued for the first time, can be viewed cautiously. Since a total stranger often manages the sessions for the couple, there is a hesitation in the minds of the partners about how much or little they should share with the relationship counsellor.

How Is Talking To A Counsellor Different From Talking To A Friend Or Family Member?

Who Can I Talk To About Relationship Issues 2

What is it that makes it therapeutic? How does it help and is it worth my money? What benefit will I get from committing my time to the sessions?


These are great questions and tend to come from a place of uncertainty. You may not be getting the support you need but fear that a counsellor is just another person to talk to without any real resolution.


The challenge is that there is a distinct lack of understanding of the true benefit of seeing a counsellor, that it is so much more than simply talking things through, that there are things about ourselves and our behaviours that we haven’t acknowledged or haven’t understood that will never be explored with those closest to us but impact us daily.


Who can I talk to about relationship issues? It takes a skilled listener to help us uncover the reasons behind the traits we exhibit, our coping mechanisms, our core beliefs, our biases, and more.


The following is what a counsellor, would want you to understand. The difference between having a conversation and having therapy:


A counsellor will hear your story and offer you support based on identifying an outcome that’s right for you. A friend may offer you support based on what they would do if it were them in your position.


Who can I talk to about relationship issues? A counsellor won’t interrupt your flow. They will know when to allow you to talk, when to allow you to sit in silence, and when to step in and offer a gentle challenge. A friend may very well interrupt to control the conversation so they feel they are making a difference.


Therapy is all about you. It is consistent and follows a clear process. Friendship is based on two-way support and is ad hoc. You may find yourself going around in circles and repeating the same things over and over.


A counsellor will accept your experiences as you understand them and strive to put themselves in your shoes with empathy. Friends will want to connect with you and show you they understand by sharing their own experiences however this can have the effect of making you feel guilty for feeling the way you do if the experiences of others appear worse than yours.


Who can I talk to about relationship issues? A counsellor will ask skilled questions to help you focus on the important aspects of your experiences, they can pinpoint those single words that stand out amongst all the others that are vitally important to identifying those core beliefs you hold that may need some investigation. A friend or colleague will simply not have the capacity to do this.


Counsellors will help you explore your emotions in a safe environment. If you usually shy away from your emotions, it can be a scary prospect to get emotional in front of those that you know well. We may fear our friends will think less of us so we try to maintain our composure. This isn’t good for us.


Who can I talk to about relationship issues? Friends may try to make it better, to cheer you up when all you want is to sit in your sadness. A counsellor will allow you to do this unless it becomes unhealthy, at which point they will delicately offer you the opportunity for change and hope of feeling differently.


Friends and family may not know how to respond appropriately to your distress leaving you feeling alone or even uncared for. This can simply be down to the lack of knowledge and experience in how to react to another person’s emotions that counsellors will have the skills and knowledge to manage.


Who can I talk to about relationship issues? A counsellor will offer you a non-judgemental attitude when you feel you may be judged by friends or family. They won’t know anything about you or the people you might want to talk about so you can be free to be more open and honest than you might otherwise be with those close to you.


Counsellors will summarise and reflect on what they have heard you say, not just in that single session but also from identifying patterns from previous sessions which, when heard coming from someone else can help you hear and see it differently. This can offer clarity. A friend will offer you a conversation that is likely to move forward only.


Who can I talk to about relationship issues? A counsellor can offer safety and security via strict adherence to confidentiality that you will struggle to find elsewhere. How much do you truly trust your friends, colleagues, and family to keep it to themselves?


A counsellor can offer skills and experience from learning taken from other clients, or other people that have gone through similar experiences as you, and they will undertake monthly supervision from an equally qualified counsellor where they can additionally benefit from their supervisor’s experiences. It is likely your friends will not have heard this before and may therefore struggle to support you.


Who can I talk to about relationship issues? Relationships with friends and family can be complicated. There’s a chance they won’t want you to change because they are gaining something from the person you are with them. A counsellor is dedicated to helping you become the person you want to be.


A counsellor will be an intent listener, they will hear you and see you. Friends may not hear those little inflexions in the voice or see those subtle gestures that need spotting and exploring and you may not recognise these in yourself either. They can make a world of difference when you are made aware of them.


A counsellor may offer you strategies to help you identify unhealthy thinking patterns and behaviours to find healthier ways of being. This takes time. Do your friends have the time and the know-how to support you in this way?

Who Can I Talk To About Relationship Issues Conclusion?

Who Can I Talk To About Relationship Issues Conclusion 1

Who can I talk to about relationship issues conclusion? In summary, our relationships with friends, colleagues, and family members can be wonderfully supportive and they play a huge part in our general wellbeing and offer us connection and a place to offload.


They don’t however, offer us the indulgence of focusing entirely on ourselves, the time to explore our innermost thoughts and feelings, the opportunity to be absolutely and truly heard, or the space to find a better understanding of ourselves on a more conscious level. Therapy is wonderfully empowering and can be truly life-changing and sometimes even life-saving.


Who can I talk to about relationship issues conclusion? Our nearest and dearest are not our counsellors. And they shouldn’t be. They have an important part to play in our lives but when you need to focus on yourself, I’d highly recommend you speak to a qualified, skilled, and experienced counsellor. It is an experience like no other.

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