Why Am I Finding It So Hard To Find Love?

Why am I finding it so hard to find love? Nowadays, when it comes to believing in love, happy endings, and fairytale romances, we look up to bedtime stories narrated by our grandmother or mother about that near imperfect love story that had a perfect fairytale ending.

 

In today’s world where everything and every relationship is quite messed up, and where we are trying to find true love in the virtual world, surviving a real relationship or identifying one becomes quite difficult. Here are a few reasons why finding love in these troubled times isn’t that easy.

 

1. No patience:

 

In times where a pizza is delivered in 30 minutes, but an ambulance takes ages to reach your doorstep, waiting patiently or rather working patiently on a relationship is something that many of us don’t agree on.

 

There was a reason why our forefathers and great scholars said time and again that nothing comes easy and patience and a calm mind can help you win the biggest and gravest battle. So the next time you meet a person you like and don’t want to give up easily work on it patiently.

 

The road might not be easy, but the destination where it will lead you surely will be worth all the pain and fight.

 

2. Give up easily:

 

Why am I finding it so hard to find love? Another biggest problem we all have is that somewhere we give up easily. Now, this is in correlation with being impatient. But along with patience believing in oneself and not giving up easily, will help you to walk through even the most feared route when in love with conviction.

 

3. Fear of commitment:

 

Why am I finding it so hard to find love? The next reason in line is the fear of commitment, and then not fulfilling it. While many believe that a committed relationship will bind you forever in the treacherous clutches of marriage, children, and other-worldly affairs.

 

Fearing to take the plunge will only make matters worse not just in personal matters but somewhere this fear of coming out of your comfort zone and not pushing yourself will affect your professional life as well.

 

4. Busy lifestyle:

 

Why am I finding it so hard to find love? Super hectic lifestyles, early deadlines, and a non-stop and vicious life-work-home cycle leave us with almost no time to mingle with new people other than the ones we have known for years now. Many of us don’t even get time to meet these people on regular basis. In times like these, it is really difficult to find out time to be in love and relationship and nurture them.

 

5. Fear of losing the ‘one’:

 

While you may think in your head that he/she might be “the one” in reality, that person might not be the one and deep down in your heart, you know that. But just the fear of losing that person makes you super nervous and scared.

 

There’s a strong difference between what goes in your head and what the reality is. It’s better to take a reality check before coming to hasty conclusions and ruining it for life. The fear and emptiness may haunt you at first, but with time things will heal and you will meet the one who will make you a better person and will love you no matter what.

Why Do I Find Dating So Hard?

Why do I find dating so hard? Dating opens even the most well-adjusted to uncertainty and vulnerability. You’re wondering if your interest in the other person is reciprocated, worried about if you’re being too vulnerable, potentially worrying about your body, if there’s sexual chemistry—there’s a lot you’re putting out there.

 

1. Conflict Of Choice

 

Confliction of choice is that it’s harder to pick the more options you have. With the advent of dating apps and social media connecting us to more than just the people we know in our areas or might serendipitously meet somewhere if you’re thinking dating now is harder than it was in your parents’ generation or even ten or fifteen years ago, you’re not wrong.

 

Dating should be hard on a certain level. It’s a careful decision and you want to be open but not too open, and it’s hard to find that sweet spot.

 

2. Personal Expectations

 

Many people go into a date thinking or hoping that this may be their last date—or this is the person they’re going to marry. Think about it in terms of friendship—you wouldn’t go to a party thinking you’re going to meet your best friend that night, right? Why is dating different?

 

3. Societal Expectations

 

Why am I finding it so hard to find love? Though this seems to be changing, albeit slowly, many of us were raised seeing the typical family unit3 depicted in culture as a heternormative married couple of a man and a woman with two kids and a house in the suburbs.

 

The animated movies and fairy tales many of us absorbed as children were heavy on a damsel in distress being rescued by the prince and living happily ever after.

 

Thus, many women were socialized to believe that they “needed” a man to take care of them, and perhaps they also learned that messaging at home if their parents were very traditional.

 

Even the most intelligent women, if they know intellectually they don’t need to be “saved” by a man, may have internalized this messaging and feel like they need to be “picked” by a man, rather than that it is seeing if they mesh with the other person.

 

4. Safety

 

People, particularly women, are perhaps more worried about their safety than they’ve ever been before. The rise of online dating and technology, in general, add new concerns, such as being catfished, receiving unwanted explicit photos, or someone sharing your explicit images without your consent.

 

5. Social Media

 

Additionally, social media gives us the illusion of visibility into others’ relationships in ways we’ve never had access to before. Illusion, because most people aren’t posting about that big fight they had last night or the problematic parts of navigating a relationship through adversity.

Why Is Dating So Hard In 2022?

Why is dating so hard in 2022? Generation Z has experienced a major disappointment when it comes to dating. Growing up, they had a different perception of dating and love and perceived it to be a bed of roses. But the reality is bitter and different from perception. In today’s day and age, dating has become harder and more overwhelming. Let’s take a look.

 

1. Ghosting is Common

 

Ghosting is the act of disappearing without giving a reason or saying goodbye to your partner. Ghosting has become common because people find it easier and more convenient than bidding farewell in a proper way or in other words ‘breaking up. Break-ups are hard, messy, emotional, and can lead to confrontations.

 

Why is dating so hard in 2022? A lot of people find ghosting a much easier alternative to breaking up. If someone is ghosting you, they would ignore your phone calls, and text messages and would not respond to any means of communication. The intention is that you would get the hint and back off yourself.

 

2. Casual Sex is Destroying the Essence of Romance

 

Casual sex and hookups have become a lot more common and acceptable. These days, people are more interested in satisfying their carnal needs than getting to know their minds and souls.

 

Relationships that start with causal sex seldomly last for long and often end up in painful breakups. Casual sex has destroyed the essence of romance and people are unable to relate to the latter anymore.

 

3. Too Proud to Care

 

Why is dating so hard in 2022? Being emotionally unavailable has become the new cool. Nowadays, everyone tries to play cool, avoid opening up emotionally, and keep their real emotions to themselves. Emotional vulnerability is perceived as a sign of weakness. Hence, no true and real connection is ever established.

 

When genuine people encounter emotionally closed-up people, they become disheartened with the way they are treated. This is another reason most people find dating complicated and emotionally draining.

 

4. The Myth of Having Unlimited Choices

 

Before the advent of the internet and dating apps, people had to make effort to meet potential partners. They dressed up well, went out to bars, and tried to form a genuine connection with a person they liked.

 

Back in the day, the pool of partners to choose from was limited so people focused their time and energy on whomsoever they found attractive and tried to establish a genuine connection with them.

Why Can’t I Fall In Love?

Why can’t I fall in love? Love isn’t always an easy thing. Sometimes we just fall into it. We find a person who just feels at home, and it feels right. Others struggle more. They may yearn for love but find themselves unable to forge the kind of connection that can keep a long-term relationship healthy.

 

Some people even make the conscious choice to derail the process of falling in love so that they do not get too close.

 

But why? Why can’t I fall in love? Why would someone not want to fall in love?

 

1. Fear of commitment and expectations.

 

Every relationship brings commitment and expectations with it. When you enter into a relationship with a person, you agree to share your life with them. That also means making compromises for the sake of the relationship. In a healthy relationship, these compromises go both ways or better serve the whole relationship.

 

2. Relationship trauma that prevents you from being vulnerable.

 

Why can’t I fall in love? The person you love is in the greatest position to inflict world-shattering trauma on you. And, unfortunately, some people experience exactly that.

 

You may love your partner for years, trust them with your life, and then you find out they’ve been cheating on you for the past few years. They willfully took the time to go around behind your back, regularly manipulate, and lie to you. Perhaps they put a smile on their face every day to tell you they loved you while trashing you in an instant messenger to their affair partner.

 

And then what? Now you just have to deal with the fact that the person you loved most betrayed you? How do you get over that? How do you move past that?

 

After a traumatic experience like that, it’s extremely difficult to be willing to make yourself vulnerable to love again and asking Why can’t I fall in love? Slowly becomes a norm you have grown to accept.

 

3. Childhood trauma that makes connecting with people difficult.

 

Why am I finding it so hard to find love? Childhood trauma plays a significant role in connecting with other people as adults. Absent parents can cause a person to yearn for any affection and attention they can get, whether it’s positive or negative. An abusive parent who only gives attention and praise when the child does something they want can reinforce the child’s yearning for connection and fear of losing it.

 

4. Mental or physical illness may be interfering.

 

Love is a product of the brain, and many problems can affect how a person loves. For example, mental illnesses like depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder can dramatically affect a person’s emotions, including love.

 

5. Fear of losing yourself in the relationship.

 

Some people have a fear of losing themselves in a relationship. They may be codependent or have other unhealthy views on relationships that prevent them from maintaining healthy boundaries.

 

Healthy boundaries are important in a loving relationship because they ensure that both individuals are respected. People with poor boundaries may find themselves taken advantage of because they assume that their partner will do the right things for them.

 

Unfortunately, people often aren’t that good.

What are the chances of not finding love?

What are the chances of not finding love? For those of us who have been single for any length of time, finding someone special can sometimes feel like an insurmountable challenge. A few years of dating a succession of boring Bernards and psycho Suzys can leave us frustrated, disappointed, and feeling like the odds are stacked against us.

 

And some people will tell you that your feelings aren’t necessarily unfounded. In fact, in 2010, mathematician and long-standing singleton Peter Backus even calculated that there were more intelligent alien civilizations in the galaxy than potential girlfriends for him to date.

 

But things might not be as hopeless as they initially appear. There are 7 billion people on Earth after all, and while not all of them will be to our particular taste,

 

this chapter explains how we can use Backus’ method to calculate your chances of bagging yourself a partner — and specifically, why being a bit more open to potential will give you a better chance of finding love on your planet.

 

What are the chances of not finding love? In Backus’ paper (titled “Why I Don’t Have a Girlfriend”), he adopts a formula used by scientists to consider why Earth hasn’t yet been visited by aliens to instead work out how many women would meet his criteria for a girlfriend.

 

The formula exploited a trick well known to scientists of breaking down the estimation by making lots of little educated guesses rather than one big one. The result of this trick is an estimate likely to be surprisingly close to the true answer because the errors in each calculation tend to balance each other out along the way.

 

What are the chances of not finding love? This technique applies perfectly to Peter Backus’ quest to see if there are intelligent, socially advanced women of the same species out there for him to date. And the idea is the same: break the problem into smaller and smaller pieces until it’s possible to make an educated guess. These were Backus’ criteria:

 

How many women are there who live near me?

(In London -> 4 million women)

How many are likely to be of the right age range?

(20% -> 800,000 women)

How many are likely to be single?

(50% -> 400,000 women)

How many are likely to have a university degree?

(26% -> 104,000 women)

How many are likely to be attractive?

(5% -> 5,200 women)

How many are likely to find me attractive?

(5% -> 260 women)

How many am I likely to get along well with?

(10% -> 26 women)

Leaving him with just twenty-six women in the whole world he would be willing to date.

Signs You Will Never Find Love

Signs you will never find love. If you are too busy to spend time with your life partner, you will never find love. If you have no time for anything, even your relationship, you will never feel loved. You want your partner to be the perfect match, but this is impossible.

 

No relationship is perfect. You can’t accept your life partner as they are and don’t make time to get to know them. Your expectations for a life partner are based on how you want them to be, not on who they are.

 

1. Overconfidence

 

If you are confident in your abilities, you might never find love. Overconfidence is a common problem. That is especially true of people who are not careful about their actions, and it can easily lead to disaster.

 

It’s best to balance your overconfidence with a realistic self-concept. The reason is overconfidence can make it harder to find love. Here are a few ways to overcome overconfidence and find love –

 

Why am I finding it so hard to find love? Overconfidence is usually caused by a sense of emptiness inside a person, so they appear so confident. These individuals are generally unhappy, and their bravado is often an attempt to compensate for their lack of inner worth.

 

2. Unwillingness to compromise

 

A healthy relationship requires flexibility and mutual respect. If you are unwilling to compromise, your partner will never feel loved. A relationship based on a compromise will create a more balanced relationship because you will be able to meet each other’s needs.

 

Your partner will be able to trust you enough to compromise, and you will find it easier to find common ground with someone who is not as rigid as you.

 

Compromise is not easy, and it requires patience, understanding, and creative thinking. The settlement process or compromising for a good cause requires both people to give up something they hold dear.

 

3. High standards

 

You might have high standards when it comes to a partner. If you are too exacting with your criteria, it is one of the Signs you will never find love and you’ll have a hard time finding someone to spend the rest of your life with. However, it would be best if you did not beat yourself up over this.

 

It is a natural part of dating and relationships, so it is okay to let your standards go from time to time. After all, no one is immaculate. So it’s a good idea to lower your standards every once in a while.

 

A lot of people have high standards when it comes to dating. These people know their worth and will never settle for anything less, and that’s why they should look for someone with the same high standards as them. In addition, some signs indicate you may have too high a standards.

 

4. Fear of rejection

 

One of the common misconceptions is that fear of rejection is among the Signs you will never find love. Many people have strong feelings of rejection, leading them to walk on eggshells or become frustrated and angry.

 

Developing self-regulation, which is the ability to control your emotions, is one way to conquer your fear of rejection. Learn to recognize when negative thoughts are forming in your mind and to actively reframe them so that you feel more comfortable with the situation.

 

One common mistake people make when finding love is to focus on what might happen if they don’t get what they want. These fears are often based on outdated fears with little or no substance.

 

And while they may be a good idea to guide you through your search for love, they should not be the main reason you can’t find love. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of the experience and not on the negatives.

Why Is It So Hard To Find Love In Your 30s?

Why is it so hard to find love in your 30s? You’re probably in your 30s wondering why finding love is so tough. Here is why:

 

1. They Want Them, Young

 

A lot of men want their ladies young. These are the bachelors that hit their late-30s and into mid-40s and suddenly realized, “Oh snap! My sperm is getting old, too, wouldn’t you know? And now that I am all grown up, I think it’s time I settled down. I think I will pick a nice 25-year-old.”

 

Even though you’re their age or even quite younger than them by years, you’re still old to them. It’s BS. The right one won’t care that you’re not in your 20s, absolutely, and you’re not old, but yet some guys will completely shut you down, especially online if you’re a year over his age range. It is what it is.

 

2. The Young Want You

 

You’re young enough to be considered sexy but old enough to be considered seasoned, so as soon as you post your online profile — bam! — the young ‘ins are there waiting to date you.

 

They will message you as young as 18 and as “old” as 25, wanting you to be their sexual teacher and some of them will bluntly ask and others will be dying for a “relationship,” which means they’re looking for a mother figure that will have sex with them.

 

Sure, you may snag a guy who is younger than you are and mature, but a lot are just dying for that older woman fix. Yes, that’s right: you have hit that “older woman” territory.

 

3. You’re Intimidating

 

Why is it so hard to find love in your 30s? You’re older, you’re wiser, and you’re sexier. In other words, they’re afraid of you. So now you’re intimidating, when before at 25, you were sweet and unassuming.

 

4. The Biological Clock Is Real

 

If you’re childless, dating can have that extra strain as you imagine your ovaries spontaneously combusting or your eggs expiring with each bad date. It’s hard not to feel the strain of biology and hormones as you get out there.

 

5. You Know What You Want

 

Why is it so hard to find love in your 30s? Dating in your 30s means you know what you want, which means a lot fewer dates. You’re more set in your ways, and your life (and mind) has less flexibility than it did in your 20s. When you were 25, you had a list of particular traits but had a taste of a wide variety of men as you looked for a good fit,

 

but when you’re 35 you’ve got a long list and the stakes are higher if you’re looking to start a family or get serious. If you’re not and simply want someone for fun, then it’s a good idea to ease up on the pressure.

Why Is It So Hard To Find Someone Who Cares About You?

Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you? Having someone who values and cares for your feelings is so good, no doubt. But the benefits can go beyond that.

 

For example, when we feel valued at work, we tend to perform better. When our feelings are valued in romantic and friendship relationships, it can deepen the bond and our self-esteem may be strengthened.

 

But relationships are complex, and sometimes we may give but not get much in return.

 

Things can get tricky if the other person doesn’t care about your feelings. Sometimes, you may not realize this until you’re hurt.

 

So, before you get to that point, it may help to learn some of the signs that someone doesn’t care about you or the relationship. It may also help to explore whether you tend to establish this type of relationship often.

 

Why Is It So Hard To Find Someone Who Cares About You?

 

Certain signs that someone may not value you or your relationship are easy to spot. A common one is not asking you about your feelings, life, or what’s important to you. This can look different depending on the relationship.

 

This feeling may be literal in that they interrupt you often or it might just be a feeling you notice you have when you’re around them.

 

Other signs that someone doesn’t care about you may include if they:

 

• don’t value mutuality in the relationship
• fail to show any interest or curiosity in you or your life
• have a different agenda for the relationship than you do
• don’t ever seek you or your opinion out
• ignore the impact of their actions on you
• don’t respond to your requests to change their behavior

 

In some cases, these actions don’t mean much if they happen once in a while. It may be the other person is having a tough day or needs some support.

 

But if they’re emotionally unavailable most of the time, then it becomes an important sign to pay attention to.

 

Is Not Caring For Your Feelings The Same As A Lack Of Empathy?

 

Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you? For some people, not valuing and caring for other people is a sign of low empathy. In short, empathy is when we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

 

So, when someone doesn’t value how you feel or isn’t active in the relationship with you, is it because they lack empathy? It can be.

 

Lack of empathy can be a symptom of several different mental health conditions, like narcissistic personality.

 

These could be some signs that the other person has low empathy:

 

• cutting you off emotionally
• walking away and refusing to discuss your feelings, even after they’ve calmed down
• shutting you down while you’re speaking or cutting you off from speaking
• speaking to you in a condescending, devaluing, or disparaging way

 

Again, these are concerning signs if they’re persistent and constant in the relationship.

Why Is It So Hard To Find Love After 40?

Why is it so hard to find love after 40? Finding love after 40 is not for the faint of heart. In your 20s, it was easy to meet men at work, clubs, or other social events.

 

After 40, the blending of lives makes things more complicated in establishing new relationships. Some of these factors include children, finances, toxic past relationships, and geographical distances. These experiences can cause you to keep your guard up.

 

Re-entering the dating scene after a major life change can be a scary proposition. The rules and traditions have changed. It certainly isn’t easy to navigate the route to a successful relationship later in life, but it can be done successfully.

 

First, don’t be afraid to try new things. Check out online dating, get a gym membership, get involved in community service activities or find some activities you enjoy in your local MeetUp groups.

 

Why is it so hard to find love after 40? Then, consider our society’s current mating rituals. They are typically based on physical appearance, chemistry, financial success, and an expectation that a man should lead without even doing the preliminary groundwork to see if there’s a fit. This is why men bail once they have clarity that it’s not going to work out.

 

Why is it so hard to find love after 40? What are the foundations of a good friendship? Friends don’t keep score. The adage about relationships being a 50/50 proposition isn’t a good one. A true commitment will inspire you to give as much as you can, even if some days your partner is only giving 30% (or vice versa!)

Accepting You Will Never Find Love

Accepting you will never find love. To avoid feeling cheated by someone who cannot take you at your worst, learn how to accept that you will never find love. To feel loved unconditionally, you need to be ready to put forth the effort to find someone willing to take you at your worst.

 

You should also learn to let go of getting into a relationship, even if it is what you want. The last thing you need is to be pressured into doing anything that will only result in disappointment.

 

1. You Were Meant for Something Else

 

You’re now ready to go. You have been on more dates than your brain can remember. You have used all the techniques and tips to win someone’s affection. Maybe the relationship you thought was “the one” ended, and you don’t want to return.

 

It doesn’t matter. It’s not the end. Your health, family and friends, career, and the joy that brings you joy are still available. You can lose sight of all the good things in your life by focusing on the lack of romantic love.

 

You might find the right person for you if you can’t find them. Never try accepting you will never find love but think about your life. Follow the path that only you can see. You will find your purpose when you follow the tiny hints that bring you joy.

 

Often, this discovery is more valuable than a new relationship.

 

2. Not Being In Love Doesn’t Mean Not Being Happy.

 

What was the last time a distant relative or friend gave you a distinct look when you said you were single? That is often followed by a slight expression of pity and questions such as “Well, are you putting yourself out there?” or “I have a friend that might be interested in you, what do you think?”. It’s almost as if being single is an abnormal condition.

 

Why am I finding it so hard to find love? Many people confuse the terms love and happiness. Although love is a source of happiness, it can also cause sadness, pain, and grief. Happiness isn’t a fixed thing, and it can be found wherever there is joy.

 

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t find love, but it does not mean you won’t find happiness. It all comes down to your mentality and how you allow it to exist in your head. You have a lot to be happy about.

 

There is no universal law that says “being in love” is a prerequisite to happiness.

 

3. The Love You Have with Will Not Always Last Forever. That’s okay

 

Accepting you will never find love. We’ve all come to believe through stories and media that true love is a commitment to the eternal vow “Till death do Us Part.”

 

If we truly love someone, it is a bond that will endure for as long as our consciousness on this planet. However, none of this is true.

 

We are all unique people with diverse personalities and minds. Therefore, we spread love in our ways.

 

Love is love in all its forms. You’ve experienced unbridled happiness, passion, and love with someone you care about. It doesn’t matter if it ends earlier than you expected, and you may already have known love.

 

4. Perhaps Your Understanding of Love Doesn’t Exist.

 

All of us want love. But, if you ask every person on this planet their definition of love, there might be a million different answers.

 

Although love may seem simple, that feeling of your heart swelling with love for another person seems to be the essential thing in the universe. However, its abstract nature makes it challenging to understand and translate into concrete actions and behaviors.

 

You may not have found love, or love as you define it, because your definition of love doesn’t reflect what true love looks like.

 

5. You might expect more than you can get from another person.

 

Your life and your partner’s life should not be dominated by love, and it shouldn’t also be a burden or an obligation. You should love with your heart, and it is impossible to mold a feeling into a particular love box. Maybe you have already found love but didn’t want it to be.

Why Can’t I Find Someone To Love Me?

Why can’t I find someone to love me? Many factors can influence your thinking in this direction which include:

 

1. You only like the idea of a relationship

 

Many people love the idea of being in a long-term relationship, rather than the actual process itself. Most times, they don’t need to be in a relationship and are fine without it, but due to specific reasons, they feel pressured to be in one.

 

So they ask themselves questions like, “Why am I finding it so hard to find love?” even when they aren’t prepared for such feelings and commitments.

 

If you’re questioning your ability to find love, you should be sure you’re ready for all the responsibilities that come with loving someone. If you’re perfect being single, and you feel your life is an utmost priority at the moment, then you shouldn’t feel bad that you aren’t in a relationship yet. With time, the right person will come into your life.

 

2. You need to love yourself and make yourself happy

 

Why can’t I find someone to love me? Finding love can easily make people forget one crucial aspect, which is loving yourself. A major cause of failed relationships is the inability to care for and cherish one’s self. When you can’t make yourself happy, you will depend on others for happiness.

 

If you feel your partner is the only person that can provide affection and happiness, your mood will depend on his. The day he ignores you, you’ll feel worthless, which is not the way to live.

 

Plus, guys are attracted to ladies who are confident and know what they want. They’ll only see that in you if your personality exudes confidence and shows that you’re comfortable in your skin.

 

3. You haven’t gotten over your past relationships

 

There’s a common notion that time heals all wounds. If you haven’t fully let go of the past, it would not be easy to let in the new.

 

Research has shown that it’s always best to wait for a specific period before entering into a new relationship. It’s a minimum of one year for a long-term relationship of more than five years, and a minimum of one month for relationships that are either a year or less than that.

 

Here’s the thing, men know when a lady is still hanging on to her past. So, even though you meet someone and he does want to date you, when he notices you’re still pining over an ex, he might withdraw. He’ll notice that you’re not entirely comfortable or transparent with him, and how tense you are when the discussion of your ex comes up.

 

4. Personal development is vital

 

Why am I finding it so hard to find love? Life revolves around learning new things, which makes personal development vital for every individual. We all need to continually develop ourselves so that living with other people can be more convenient. This point is particularly important for people hoping to meet someone new.

 

If you have a chain of failed relationships, it’s important to focus on the areas you made mistakes. You should be able to find a few areas for improvement in your next relationship. If you’re looking for love, find the things that crashed your previous relationships.

 

That will prepare you for this new one, and hopefully, you’ll be more ready to establish a healthier and more sustainable relationship.

 

5. You’re overly selective

 

Why can’t I find someone to love me? Okay, so there’s nothing wrong with having some high standards. Who would want to settle for less when you could get something better?

 

Although this mindset can be productive, in most cases, it doesn’t yield the best results. Looks will always be deceiving, and the only way to see what you’re looking for is to look closely.

 

Many people that experienced bad breakups or failed relationships thought it would sail from the very beginning. That means our feelings and emotions can guide us in the wrong direction.

 

If you created high standards and have been writing people off because of their looks or the amount of money in their account, it’s time to change your tactics. Look beyond the surface, if you keep ticking guys off your list, you may be left with close to nothing.

Am I Just Not Meant To Find Love?

Am I just not meant to find love? They say the course of true love never did run smoothly, but exactly how rough should it get? This whole love, romance, and dating thing is often a pretty bumpy ride.

 

Disappointment, rejection, and heartbreak can leave many of us wondering “what if I’m not meant to find love?”. We may think that if it hasn’t happened by now there’s something wrong with us or it never will. Reasons, why you feel like love, isn’t meant for you

 

1. You’ve been hurt in the past

 

It might not be much comfort, but heartbreak is one of the most universal of all life experiences. Over 80 percent of us will have our heartbroken at some point.

 

If you’ve gone through it, you’ll know that it’s the worst and there are many stages of heartbreak to overcome. So it’s perhaps unsurprising that the pain from heartbreak can do pretty strange things to us.

 

Heartbreak can also create physical stress on the body too, causing appetite changes, lack of motivation, weight loss or weight gain, overeating, headaches, stomach pain, and a general sense of being unwell.

 

Is it any wonder then that past experiences of heartache can impact how we react towards and view love in our future.

 

After a recent breakup, it’s common to ask “am I just not meant to find love” and have fearful thoughts about whether you will ever find love again. Because of the negative headspace we’re in, we can easily panic and start to think we’ve lost the only chance at the love we might have had.

 

2. You’re scared

 

Even when we say that we want to find love, plenty of us is simultaneously scared of it. Because of this, we can find ourselves self-sabotaging when it looks like love could be heading our way, or running for the hills when someone gets too close.

 

Defense mechanisms kick in when part of our brain believes that we need to be protected. After all, loving and being loved can feel very vulnerable.

 

Whenever we think that we want love, but we can’t seem to find it or things just never work out, it can be helpful to do a little bit of soul searching:

 

• What is the benefit you’re getting from not finding love?
• What is the benefit you’re getting from not being in a stable relationship?

 

At first, we might think the idea that an absence of love is bringing us some kind of reward. But when you dig below the surface you usually find it is.

 

3. You’re not settling (and that’s a good thing)

 

Do you ever look around and feel like everyone else is in a relationship but you? Maybe you have a friend who never seems to be single and manages to jump from one relationship to the next. It could prompt you to wonder why that’s not the case for you.

 

But look a little closer and you may see that plenty of people are in pretty bad relationships, simply because they are scared to be alone. They would rather have a substandard relationship than none at all.

 

If you have strong self-esteem and self-worth, the chances are that your expectations from a relationship will be higher.

 

Am I just not meant to find love? You may find love appears more elusive to you, simply because you have high standards. You’re not desperate and you respect yourself. Good for you.

 

4. You’re feeling under pressure

 

False narratives like “what if I’m too old to find love again” or “what if I’m not meant to be in a relationship” creep into my mind when you are under pressure.

 

The reason is that we create expectations around the timeline for when certain things should happen in life, even though life just doesn’t work that way.

 

Yet we still burden ourselves with the pressure to find someone by a certain age or stage in our life. If it hasn’t happened yet, we tell ourselves it never will.

Why Is It So Hard To Find A Relationship These Days?

Why is it so hard to find a relationship these days? Modern dating has done both good and harm. More like it favours some set of people more than it does some. This is due to:

 

1. Hook-up culture is prevalent

 

Sure, everyone is raving about the ease with which we can connect in this modern day and age. But, it comes with its downside as well. Thanks to the plethora of dating apps that you can simply download and ‘swipe left’ on, the need to act to date someone has gone out the window.

 

Looking for a hook-up, jump on the app.

 

After a one-night stand, jump on the app.

 

Looking for a short fling, jump on the app.

 

After a long-term relationship? Well, you’re much more unlikely to find that here. Sorry!

 

Long gone are the days of wooing a woman over dinner and a nice night all. All men have to do is swipe their fingertips to get what they want. So, while we might all appear more connected than ever, that intimate personal connection of getting to know someone through dating has escaped down the drain.

 

2. You’re on the wrong apps

 

While we discovered above that technology isn’t working in your favour thanks to all the dating apps out there, it could also be that you’re on the wrong apps. We all know the reputation Tinder has. It’s about how many people you can connect with and has nothing to do with the quality of those connections.

 

There are apps out there that acter to the serious daters. So, how can you tell them apart? Dating sites like eHarmony require men to pay to contact the women. In other words, they have to show a degree of commitment first, so you’re more likely to find a quality relationship.

 

Why is it so hard to find a relationship these days? It helps to do your research and weed out the apps that let me make multiple conquests at the touch of a button, and instead cater towards that more serious relationship.

 

3. There’s a lot of emotional baggage

 

The hook-up culture also comes with a high number of conquests. It’s so easy to jump from relationship to relationship in the online world, which means your past relationships (and his) build up over time.

 

Many relationships fizzle out without any resolve. You’re left with more questions than ever:

 

Why did he stop talking to me?

What did I say?

Was it something I did?

Am I the problem?

 

Traditional relationships run their course in a much slower manner, giving you time to process things and put unresolved feelings to bed.

 

These days, there is no resolution, and each relationship is bringing more and more baggage with it, no matter how short-term or fleeting the relationship is. And naturally, both parties bring all this baggage with them into any new relationship. Which makes it even more difficult to settle into a new relationship.

 

4. We’re a lot more selfish

 

Thanks to technology we can get what we want with the click of a button…relationships. This is all well and good, but it means that people are forgetting how to compromise in relationships. After all, when they can go back to the drawing board with the press of a button, why would they waste their time?

 

Makes sense. But also makes dating much harder.

 

Why is it so hard to find a relationship these days? In the past, you would spend the time getting to know each other and be more willing to compromise on the smaller details. That’s how relationships work.

 

You move past the biting of the nails in light of all their other amazing qualities.

 

You give up your addiction to the Playstation because she means the world to you.

 

You have a little more give and take to make the relationship last.

 

Sadly, not anymore. These days we are less willing to overlook the little things in the view that there is plenty of more fish in the apps.

 

5. You’re too independent

 

Doesn’t make sense, right. You have been raised from day dot to be a strong and independent woman, and now that you are, the men almost seem to be afraid of it. Turns out, there are a lot of insecure men out there, who still prefer women who are agreeable and much less ‘challenging’.

 

Men are simply accustomed to being the strong ones in the relationship, and they feel threatened by a woman who holds her own. When they say, “It’s not you, it’s him” they are correct. Unfortunately, there is no solution to this problem.

 

You don’t want to change who you are for a man. You should be proud of how strong and independent you are, you shouldn’t want to hide it.

 

It’s simply a matter of waiting it out to find a guy who isn’t threatened by you but instead awed by your strength. That’s a true soulmate.

 

Why Am I Finding It So Hard To Find Love Conclusion

Why am I finding it so hard to find love conclusion. The best place to start when it comes to finding long-lasting love is to think about whether this is actually what you want. Sometimes, we can feel like a relationship would be a great way of solving our problems and really help us to be happier — without realising that we’re not completely sure that long-term commitment is what we want.

 

Why am I finding it so hard to find love conclusion. It might sound strange, but deciding you want love is, in some ways, a conscious decision. It means acknowledging that what you really want is something serious and real — and being willing to accept all the challenges that might come with that.

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