How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor?

How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor. There may be an overwhelming number of relationship counsellors in your area listed, or there may be very few, but all may have different titles, describe different approaches, or have different training.

While it is tempting to schedule a session with the couples therapist near you, reconsider. It may be worth traveling for longer sessions less often or even working online if you know what to look for and find someone highly skilled.

How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor. Finding the best relationship counsellor for your needs is preferable to find the closest one, so consider thinking more broadly. Some of the best help is offered “intensively” over a weekend or in longer blocks of time, allowing you more choice and enabling you to demand more expertise.

Couples counsellors, on the other hand, need to be skilled at helping people overcome the differences that naturally occur when two people live under the same roof. They need to know what makes a relationship tick.

Here are some tips on How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor:

Make sure your therapist is biased in the direction of helping you find solutions to your marital problems rather than helping you leave your marriage when things get rocky. Feel free to ask about the therapist’s feelings about the point at which s/he sees divorce to be a viable alternative. Your therapist’s response will be very revealing.

You should feel comfortable and respected by your therapist. You should feel that he or she understands your perspective and feelings. If your therapist sides with you or your spouse, that’s not good. No one should feel ganged up on. If you aren’t comfortable with something your therapist is suggesting — like setting a deadline to decide your marriage — say so. If your therapist honors your feedback, that’s a good sign. If not, leave.

The therapist’s values about relationships play a part in what he or she does and is interested in when working with you. Since there are few universal rules for being and staying in love if your therapist insists that there is only one way to have a successful marriage, find another therapist.

Also, although some people think that their therapist can tell when a person should stop trying to work on their marriage, therapists don’t have this sort of knowledge. If they say things like, “It seems that you are incompatible,” “Why are you willing to put up with this?” or “It is time to move on with your life,” they are simply laying their values on you. This is an unethical act, in my opinion.

Make sure you (and your partner) and your therapist set concrete goals early on. If you don’t, you will probably meet each week with no clear direction. Once you set goals, you should never lose sight of them. If you don’t begin to see some progress within two or three sessions, you should address your concern with your therapist.

I believe that couples in crisis don’t have the luxury to analyze how they were raised to find solutions to their marital problems. If your therapist is focusing on the past, suggest a future orientation. If he or she isn’t willing to take your lead, find a therapist who will.

Know that most marital problems are solvable. Don’t let your therapist tell you that change isn’t impossible. Human beings are amazing and they are capable of doing great things — especially for the people they love.

Most of all, trust your instincts. If your therapist is helping, you’ll know it. If he or she isn’t, you’ll know that too. Don’t stay with a therapist who is just helping you tread water. Find one who will help you swim.

Questions to Ask

How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor. A good therapist will happily answer your questions, so if you struggle to get information, this is a glaring red flag. Some questions to consider asking in your first few sessions include:

How long have you been in practice?
How do you define success? How will we know we’re making progress?
How long can we expect to be in therapy?
How much of your practice is devoted to marriage counseling?
What are your background and training?
Do you think a divorce is ever an option? Would you ever recommend divorce?

How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor. Finally, the best way to find a good therapist is word-of-mouth. Satisfied customers say a lot about the kind of therapy you will receive.

Although you might feel embarrassed to ask friends or family for a referral, you should consider doing it anyway. It increases the odds you’ll find a therapist who will really help you and your spouse.

How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor Conclusion

How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor Conclusion. Finally, do not be discouraged if you need to meet with several professionals before finding someone you can work with. Research indicates that the capacity to establish a working relationship with a professional is the most important factor in successful outcomes in counseling and psychotherapy.

How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor Conclusion. All professionals will have some people they connect with easily and others who may be more challenging to establish that working relationship with. A genuine professional will not be offended if you decide you want a second opinion or want to try working with someone else. In fact, many professionals may even be able to refer you to someone they know and trust.

How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor. One visit may not be enough to determine how helpful a particular professional is likely to be. Most people know by a third or fourth visit if the relationship will be productive.

It is important to be as direct and straightforward as possible about one’s needs and feelings about the services received in order to get the maximum benefit from the service.

How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor?

Questions to Ask

How To Find A Good Relationship Counsellor Conclusion

Further reading

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