Hyper Responsibility. Most people have a sense of responsibility, especially when it comes to following guidelines and rules that are intended to keep themselves and others safe.

Most people do things to try to keep themselves safe: they lock their homes at night, make sure the stove is off after using it, and hold their child’s hand when they cross a street.

But what happens when someone overestimates their responsibility? What happens when someone feels that they can control things that they cannot control?

Hyper Responsibility. These feelings might even seep into relationships feeling like they can control how someone else feels, or feeling that they are responsible for making everyone happy or content.

Hyper Responsibility. This can create people-pleasing patterns and make them constantly feel the need to put others’ needs in front of their own.

Hyper Responsibility. This can look like saying yes to things they do not want to do but feel they need to do, lest someone get upset with them.

Or, they may think, “If I don’t do this, then something bad might happen.”

Let’s say someone is shopping at the local grocery store when they see a can of food on the floor in an aisle.

Some people may walk by and choose not to pick it up without a second thought, whereas someone who has OCD may continue to think about this later on.

They may start thinking “what if someone was walking by without noticing it, and they fell and broke their neck?”

They may be so tormented by this thought and the guilt of not having picked up the can that they return to the store later in the day to ensure that the can is no longer there.

A person who suffers from a sense of hyper-responsibility may feel that they are responsible for preventing disasters, sometimes even natural disasters or crimes.

One member I worked with felt that they had to ensure that no one was drowning anytime they were near water. They tried to keep track of everyone to make sure they didn’t drown.

They would spend countless hours listening to anyone who may be yelling for help or looking for anyone who may be in distress.

The need to be on constant alert became so strong that they eventually stopped going to beaches altogether because it became too stressful and exhausting.

Hyper Responsibility. Anxiety and guilt are often at the root of an inflated sense of responsibility. The person with OCD thinks of all the possible repercussions of not acting in a particular scenario.

Hyper Responsibility. They feel guilty for possible negative outcomes, often engaging in magical thinking believing that their ideas, thoughts, actions, or other things can impact the world around them.

This results in compulsions, which can take on many different forms; for some, it may involve very detailed rituals they feel they must perform to prevent something very specific from occurring.

For others, it may be a vague need to do something “just in case” or to feel like everyone will be safe.

Hyper Responsibility. Over-responsible people are people-pleasers who suppress and repress themselves to prioritise others and to minimise or eliminate conflict, criticism, rejection, disappointment, and loss.

They often do good things for the wrong reasons because, like me, they don’t know another way.

Hyper Responsibility. Over-responsible people are often the eldest or only children, but wherever they fall in the family, they take on a role they felt was their ‘job’.

Hyper Responsibility. They fulfilled and continue to fulfil this role long into adulthood because they want to do their part and ‘help out.

They also want to feel OK and get attention, affection, approval, love, and validation.

What Causes Hyper Responsibility?

What Causes Hyper Responsibility? Also known as an inflated sense of responsibility, hyper-responsibility is when you feel that you have more control over the world than you do.

You might feel responsible for things that you can’t realistically control, including how other people behave and feel, natural disasters, accidents, and more. When something goes wrong, you might blame yourself and feel guilty.

You might also take action to “fix” the problem or prevent it from happening again, even if it’s totally out of your control. An inflated sense of responsibility may also lead to other, such as behaviours

What Causes Hyper Responsibility? People-pleasing, which might be an attempt to control how others feel about you

giving a lot of money or time to charitable causes, to your detriment.

What Causes Hyper Responsibility? over-researching unlikely threats because you feel you have to prevent them from happening.

While these don’t necessarily mean that you have OCD, they can also be a result of hyper-responsibility. However, many people with OCD also face hyper-responsibility.behaviours

What Causes Hyper Responsibility? Childhood Trauma. A scary event in the past that left you scarred. This brings an overwhelming fear of recurrence.

What Is Responsibility Anxiety?

What Is Responsibility Anxiety? As you’re driving to work, you see a big bag of trash in the middle of the street. What do you do?

If you don’t have OCD, you’d probably swerve to avoid it, then continue with work. You don’t want to be late.

After you get to work, you’d probably get lost in the hustle and bustle of your day, and the bag of trash would never cross your mind again.

What Is Responsibility Anxiety? Responsibility Anxiety is a subset of OCD centred around anxiety and guilt. Sufferers are less concerned about their welfare, and more concerned with the repercussions of their actions or non-actions.

What Is Responsibility Anxiety? They worry endlessly about accidentally hurting others and oftentimes take responsibility for things that are not their fault.

What Is Responsibility Anxiety? Being concerned about how your actions affect those around you is normal.

However, for sufferers of Responsibility Anxiety, the anxiety about possibly causing another person harm is often unfounded and detrimental to daily life.

Common Responsibility OCD obsessions:

Fear that you accidentally put someone in danger.
Fear that an action or action you didn’t take could hurt a loved one.
Fear of failing to prevent harm from happening.

Common Responsibility OCD compulsions:

Guilt: Thinking you’re a bad person for harming a stranger or loved one by an action that you took or an action that you didn’t take.

Prayer:

Having associations about spiritual harm happening to someone and then praying that it doesn’t happen.

Excessive washing: Repeated or overlong showering, hand-washing, using antibacterial soap, or heavy-duty cleaning products on your skin. This is similar to people with Contamination OCD.

Thinking you’re a bad person: Your character is at risk if you do the wrong thing and you feel devastated if someone thinks you’re a bad person.

Common misconceptions about Responsibility OCD:

OCD only comes in one, general type. Subsets like Responsibility OCD don’t exist.
You care more about others than those of the general population.
You have low self-esteem.

What Is Inflated Responsibility?

What Is Inflated Responsibility? A need to prevent danger or harm. Feeling to blame for negative events. Focusing on a problem, even when there isn’t a solution.

These mindsets can lead to a sense of inflated responsibility, and that in turn can trigger OCD or an anxiety disorder, according to new research.

Occasional worrying is normal, and everyone thinks negative thoughts down and then. But when these thoughts begin disrupting day-to-day life, they could indicate obsessive-compulsive disorder or generalized anxiety disorder.

What Is Inflated Responsibility? Inflated responsibility for harm is a cognitive bias whereby one believes they are personally responsible for causing or failing to prevent harm from coming to oneself and/or others.

It is easy to feel unduly burdened by things that are outside our control. Huge issues can feel irreconcilable (climate change, gun violence, poverty, racism, sexism, the economy, etc).

When the world around us is full of pressure and consumerism and fear and bad news, it is easy to internalize that pressure/consumerism/fear/bad news.

It’s also easy to feel personally responsible for reconciling these issues or to feel responsible for causing them.

These feelings of responsibility can be good-they keep roofs over our heads, guide us to stand up for things we believe in, and fight for the rights we believe we should have. But sometimes, we take on the responsibility that isn’t rightfully ours.

What Is Inflated Responsibility? People with OCD and GAD both feel overwhelming, crushing responsibility and guilt for negative outcomes, and feel pressure to solve problems that they simply cannot remedy.

Hyper Responsibility is characterized by unwanted and repeated thoughts or feelings (obsessions) that drive them to do something over and over (compulsions) in an attempt to relieve anxiety. GAD is characterized by frequent, hard-to-control anxiety.

Control is an integral aspect of mental health. Too little control and your mental health (and subsequent physical health) will suffer. Too much control, on the other hand, is detrimental to mental health too.

A personal and relevant example of this is for those with eating disorders: the control of food and/or appearance is often a way of coping with a lack of control elsewhere.

Anxiety too often springs from the need to constantly be in control.

What Is Inflated Responsibility? An inflated sense of responsibility is commensurate with the need for control, and the need to control everything is often based on fear.

Below are some tips to help reduce inflated responsibility, anxiety, and stress.

Practice Mindfulness & Deep Breathing

Studies show that mindfulness, including meditation and focusing on your breath, can significantly reduce anxiousness. Read some deep breathing exercises here.

Spend Time Outside.

A recent study found that spending just 20 minutes in nature can significantly reduce cortisol levels (the hormone responsible for stress).

See a Therapist.

If you have been diagnosed with GAD, OCD, or any other mental illness or disorder OR even if you’re extra stressed out, it may be time to see a professional.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help you process your emotions, understand your thoughts and feelings, and develop healthy coping strategies. CBT has a success rate of reducing symptoms of anxiety by 50–75%.

Track Your Symptoms.

Write down when you feel anxious, the activities or circumstances that spurred the anxiety, and any anxious thoughts.

This will help reveal your triggers and can be done on paper or one of these nifty apps.

Exercise!

Moving your body is proven to help reduce anxiety and boost your mood. You’ve heard this, I’ve heard this, everyone’s heard this. Bonus points for exercising outside.

Do I Have Responsibility OCD?

Do I Have Responsibility OCD? Each individual’s experience of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is diverse and complex and it’s not the purpose of this page to provide any answers for any individual, we have to leave that to the trained health professionals.

Instead, we simply want to offer a brief overview of the general components that help keep OCD going.

A good place to start is by learning about two beliefs that are common in many people with OCD:

Inflated responsibility – belief that they are responsible for preventing harm coming to themselves, a loved one or others

Overestimation of threat – belief that things are riskier than they are.

Do I Have Responsibility OCD? For someone with OCD, what they worry about (whatever intrusive thoughts they have) seems very likely to happen and their sense of responsibility means that they feel they must act to prevent it.

In other words, the two beliefs create an ever-increasing cycle of obsessions and compulsions.

Even if the level of danger is assessed to be relatively low by the person with OCD (i.e. it’s a low-risk someone will break into my place of work), their heightened sense of responsibility (to protect my place of work) dictates the need to carry out a compulsion.

OCD is driven by the fear of consequences, no matter how unlikely they are. For someone with OCD, the perceived level of risk is turned on its head, a 0.01% risk feels as likely to happen as a 99.9% risk.

Emotions play a big part in OCD becoming stuck and how someone with OCD responds to thoughts helps to explain where these emotions come from.

The example below shows how different responses to thoughts affect the way we feel and behave, with both sufferers and non-sufferers alike being able to relate.

Emotions play a big part in OCD becoming stuck and how someone with OCD responds to thoughts helps to explain where these emotions come from.

The example below shows how different responses to thoughts affect the way we feel and behave, with both sufferers and non-sufferers alike being able to relate.

It’s the middle of the night, you’re in bed. You hear a noise from downstairs.

You might think: ‘It’s the stupid cat again’, feel angry, put your head under the pillow and try to go back to sleep.

You might think: ‘It’s my partner coming in, I haven’t seen them all day!’, feel happy and get out of bed to say ‘hello’.

You might think: ‘It’s a burglar’, feel frightened and anxious to call the police.

What this example shows is that the same event can make people feel completely different emotions (angry, happy, anxious), and result in them behaving in very different ways, due to their different beliefs about the event.

Think about the scariest rollercoaster you have ever been on. You are strapped in tight, deep down you know you are secure and safe, yet as the car goes up the steep rails and slowly dangles you over the drop, teetering on the edge of the steep fall, you still scream and grip the bar tight.

It is that thought, that ‘what if something goes wrong that makes you scared and scream.

Do I Have Responsibility OCD? You know that the risk of something bad happening is remote, your brain is telling you that you are 99.9% safe, yet you still scream in that brief moment.

Imagine if you were aware of every tiny risk in life and felt responsible for preventing any harm coming from them, you can see that even a fun ride might need to be avoided.

Do I Have Responsibility OCD? People with OCD think they should act ‘just in case’ despite knowing that they are being over-cautious

Teaching professors start by asking an audience to agree with a statement that saying something or thinking something doesn’t mean it will come true, that our thoughts are not magical and can’t make things happen.

For example, thinking about winning the lottery and how your life will change doesn’t mean you will win the lottery.

The teaching expert will then go on to ask the audience, which we have seen include trained clinical psychologists and psychiatrists, to write down the name of a loved one on a bit of paper and then further add a statement about something horrific happening to that person.

Despite all those highly qualified doctors moments before agreeing that thinking or saying something doesn’t mean it will magically come true, they’re nearly always all unable to write down the statement about something horrific happening to their loved one, or those that do, then destroy that bit of paper into lots and lots of tiny little shreds.

These examples illustrate two things to help people understand Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, firstly, the power of a single unwanted intrusive thought (obsession) to cause such distress and secondly, how such thoughts can lead to seemingly nonsensical compulsions (i.e. ripping the piece of paper into many shreds).

We imagine that even thinking about the teaching exercise has left people a little anxious, even now a few minutes later, imagine having that feeling of dread, that feeling of danger, that feeling of anxiety with you throughout the day.

If you can imagine it, multiply that feeling by a hundred and you might just start to understand what it feels like to suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

In summary, it’s not the thoughts themselves that are the problem, it’s what we make of those thoughts in the first place!

Therapy for OCD is based on this intuitive understanding of how we think affects how we react.

For someone without OCD, it may still be difficult to fully understand how an insignificant thought has such power over a person, and it’s not easy to explain, but OCD is an anxiety disorder, and such thoughts of fear or danger cause a huge increase in anxiety for the person affected, anxiety that remains high.

Doubt is another characteristic of OCD – the French once called OCD ‘folie du date, which translates to ‘madness of doubt’. Anxiety is proportional to a person’s perception of danger and risk.

The worse the perceived consequences the greater the fear of something bad happening and the more certain someone will want to be that they have done everything they can to prevent it.

This is where doubt in OCD comes from and what drives a lot of compulsive behaviours. In simple terms, OCD demands black or white answers, it can’t tolerate shades of grey (uncertainty). This is partly why our logo includes the shade of grey.

What Are The 4 Types Of OCD?

What Are The 4 Types Of OCD? When we talk about OCD, we talk not only about the presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both, but we also talk about the focus of those symptoms.

Symptoms tend to fall into four general categories, called symptom dimensions that include both obsessions and compulsions.

These dimensions are akin to looking at the different sides of an OCD box. They are not mutually exclusive.

You can have elements from one or more of the dimensions. Each blend of symptoms is unique.

What Are The 4 Types Of OCD? 1. Contamination OCD

This is what most people think of when they hear the phrase “OCD.” Driven by an underlying fear of contamination or germs, people will go to great lengths to avoid situations seen as “risky” for exposure to contaminants. Some of the more common protective rituals include:

Disinfecting and sterilizing, excessive cleaning
Excessive hand washing
Throwing away objects believed to be contaminated or sources of contamination
Frequent clothing changes
Creating “safe” or “clean” zones

These rituals provide temporary relief from the perceived risk of exposure to contaminants and germs.

What Are The 4 Types Of OCD? Perfection

People whose symptoms fall in this dimension have an overwhelming preoccupation with order and getting something “just right.”

They will spend inordinate amounts of time moving, counting, and arranging things to alleviate or prevent distress. They may also have specific superstitions about numbers, patterns, and symmetry.

These rituals are sometimes attached to magical thinking (i.e., the belief that something bad will happen if something is not “just right.”)

Some of the commonly seen behaviours include:

A need for items to be arranged in a specific way
An extreme need for symmetry or organization
A need for symmetry in actions (if you touch your right elbow, you must also touch your left elbow)
Arranging items until they feel “just right”
Counting rituals
Magical thinking, or believing something bad will happen if things aren’t “just right”
Organization rituals or superstitions about the arrangement of objects
Excessive attachment to and hoarding of certain items

The endless quest for perfection can be physically and mentally exhausting. The person may avoid social contact at home to prevent symmetry and order from being disrupted. This can have devastating effects on relationships.

What Are The 4 Types Of OCD? Doubt and harm

This is the dimension of checking and re-checking.

People with obsessions in this dimension tend to experience intrusive thoughts, images or urges related to the fear of unintentionally harming themselves or someone else due to carelessness or negligence.

A common example is that of leaving the gas stove on before leaving home possibly causing a house fire.

Along with their fear of accidental harm is also often an overwhelming feeling of self-doubt or dread and being responsible for what may happen.

Some of the common behaviours you might see are:

Checking and re-checking things like door locks, stoves, windows, light switches, etc.
Checking may include a symmetrical component of checking a specific number of times
Repeatedly reviewing daily activities or retracing steps (mentally or physically) to make sure no one was harmed

What Are The 4 Types Of OCD? Forbidden Thoughts

This symptom dimension is characterized by unwanted, intrusive thoughts.

These thoughts are often of a violent, religious or sexual nature that significantly violates the person’s morals or values.

This dimension is particularly difficult to recognize and was once considered to be purely obsessional (thought-based).

People with this type of OCD do engage in rituals to manage these unwanted thoughts. These rituals tend to be covert and consist of mental compulsions and seeking reassurance. behavioural

Some of the common themes and rituals associated with this dimension include:

Persistent intrusive thoughts that are often sexual, religious, or violent
Persistent worry about acting on intrusive thoughts or that having them makes one a bad person
Obsessions about religious ideas that feel blasphemous or wrong
Engaging in mental rituals to dispel or cancel out the bothersome thoughts. Some of these rituals might include:
Neutralizing thoughts through mentally cancelling out negative thoughts with positive ones or excessive praying
Excessive reviewing behaviour or the seeking of reassurance
Avoidance of situations perceived as thought triggers

It should be noted that, despite the nature of their thoughts, people with this type of OCD usually have no history of violence, nor do they act on their thoughts or urges.

They do, however, often believe their thoughts are dangerous and will devote enormous time and mental effort to suppress them.

How Do I Stop Being Overly Responsible?

How Do I Stop Being Overly Responsible? Being overly responsible can be a hard habit to break—it gets reinforced externally by those who depend on you, and reinforced internally because you feel competent and get to avoid conflict.

But you’ll know when it’s getting to be too much. Don’t wait until you’re so resentful you go on strike. Instead, try these three experiments.

How Do I Stop Being Overly Responsible? Return responsibilities.

Return responsibilities as if they were overdue library books. Start by thinking of one task or responsibility you can return to one specific person.

It may be as small as returning the responsibility of waking up on time to your teenager, or as large as returning responsibility for her happiness to your mother.

Regardless of how the responsibility ended up in your hands—whether you took it freely or it was foisted upon you—it’s time to pass it back like LeBron with a basketball.

However, don’t expect them to read your mind. Don’t just let your teen oversleep on a random Thursday when you’re feeling especially resentful.

Instead, set everyone up for success by communicating what’s happening and why, what the expectations are, and collaboratively coming up with a plan that your teen can fully own.

Finally, when you relinquish, fully relinquish. It’s tempting to be a safety net or to manage from the sidelines, but trust that your loved one is capable and creative, even if he racks up a few tardies before all the kinks are worked out of the system.

How Do I Stop Being Overly Responsible? Accept all offers.

Practice accepting all that’s given to you. Accept a compliment, accept tomatoes from your neighbour’s garden without worrying that now you have to give her a cucumber.

Best of all, accept offers of help. Don’t think of it as burdening the helper; instead, think of it as a way to share the feeling of competence that makes you feel so good.

Then, once you’re comfortable accepting help, you can go for your black belt by asking for help.

How Do I Stop Being Overly Responsible? Shift your sense of responsibility from saving others to launching others.

Consider the core beliefs that keep your over-responsibility simmering. By keeping all the competence to yourself, it implies you think others are incompetent, or at least less competent than you.

Therefore, reframe relinquishing over-responsibility as helping others develop their skills. Especially when it comes to kids, you want to be able to launch them into the world ready to fly, not keep them tethered to you.

All in all, there are worse things than being overly responsible. But like all good things, taken too far, it can be stressful and get in the way of life.

So give others’ responsibilities back to them while still enjoying the sense of competence from handling your own. If all else fails, you can always apologize for the weather.

Why Do I Feel Like It’s My Fault?

Why Do I Feel Like It’s My Fault? If you start feeling guilty when someone around you is angry if you trace back the reasons behind something breaking into something you’ve done a long time ago (even though many people might have used it through all that time).

And if through all that you realize that those feelings and suspicions aren’t rational, you are very likely either an over-responsible person, trying to fix problems in everyone’s lives and feeling guilty when things go wrong.

Or you are trying to escape personal responsibility, and use self-blame and other negative self-talk to prevent yourself from taking productive action and growing.

Different reasons behind such counterproductive and often destructive thinking include childhood trauma, underlying anxiety disorder (which can be genetic), and depression (which might be caused by a relatively recent traumatic experience).

Oftentimes self-blame could be a mechanism of protection from taking personal responsibility (instead of blame) for whatever needs fixing or improving and doing something productive about it (changing – going against the status quo).

Ways of getting rid of such a dangerous habit include realizing that other people also have their share of responsibility in any situation, learning to reasonably estimate everyone’s share of responsibility, and fighting against your default mode (desire to stay the same and avoid changing).

There are several possible connected conditions, which may be the underlying cause of the excessive self-blame, or make you vulnerable to this condition:

Why Do I Feel Like It’s My Fault? Anxiety link

Overthinking, worrying, and imagining worst-case scenarios are the common signs of a general anxiety disorder (GAD). Consider a person with anxiety, who has a friend going on an out-of-town trip.

Being away and unable to help their friend during travels in any way, habitually, this anxious person will resort to their worrying routine, as a way of “supporting” their friend.

Problem is, subconsciously people form a connection between worrying about something and the probability of it happening.

And in case something does go wrong on that trip for their friend, the anxious person will extend the guilt to themselves, for worrying about a potential accident.

Major depressive disorder (MDD) link

MDD is characterized by a persistent feeling of sadness and a lack of interest in pretty much everything.

Study into symptom-free people with a history of MDD was conducted, where participants were read sentences that were designed to cause guilt or outrage, featuring their best friends.

For example, “Joe” might read a sentence like, “Joe acts greedily toward Tony,” to elicit guilt. The sentence “Tony acts greedily toward Joe” would trigger outrage.

At this time participants were under functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) – a brain scan that shows blood flow to active areas of the brain.

The study showed that for the feelings of guilt, the brains of people with a history of MDD failed to sync up properly – there was a significant difference in how the brains of healthy people functioned.

For the outrage, there was no noticeable difference. Interestingly, those participants didn’t report feeling any different during reading guild and outrage sentences. This means that dysfunction in brain communication is not consciously perceived.

Why Do I Feel Like It’s My Fault? Childhood trauma link

There are some distinct types of adverse childhood experiences, which can lead to excessive self-blame later in life

Someone who has been told, that everything is their fault, and the world would have been a better place, have they not been born, are quite clearly and explicitly at risk of developing a habit of assigning all the blame to themselves

children from households with at least one under-responsible adult are at risk of developing over-responsibility.

They start planning to schedule and orchestrate the lives of everyone around them, doing others’ chores, and every time those overwhelming attempts at large-scale life-management inevitably fail, they start blaming themselves because their attempts to fix everyone and make everyone happy have failed.

Why Do I Feel Like It’s My Fault? Fear of change and the status quo link

In my previous article, I touched on how humans are heavily invested in staying in the default mode.

We don’t want to change, even if we feel miserable. Any attempts at growth and improvement are met with resistance, and your success at overcoming it depends on your confidence and motivation.

And self-blame is a very clever mechanism for keeping any attempts to change at bay. People who feel guilty about everything bad happening around them use a kind of reverse projection.

Normally, projection is used to assign the negative qualities, which we are afraid to see in ourselves, to others.

Self-blamer, on the contrary, will assign the best qualities to the surrounding people, while assigning themselves all the worst, dirtiest and lowest anti-qualities, which lead to all the disasters, which happened in their lives.

And of course, if there is nothing good about you, no possible spark of capability and worthiness, bothering to put any attempts at fixing the situation, or improving themselves would be just a waste of time.

So they never bother to dedicate any effort to growth, fixing, or improvement.

It is a very cunning mechanism for protecting yourself from responsibility for our contribution to our problems and trying to do something productive about it.

Why Do I Feel Like It’s My Fault? Subtle narcissism and the power play link

To understand why you keep this negative self-talk of assigning the guilt for everything to yourself, think about what benefits are you receiving from it, even outside of the aforementioned maintaining the status quo.

You get to feel sorry for yourself and play the victim – and there are plenty of historical examples of people benefiting from playing the victim.

you gain attention, others are obliged to feel sorry for you, or potentially be seen as sociopaths
you gain increased trust and empathy if you blame yourself or apologize publicly.

Here’s an eye-opening study. This could also be a sign of a codependent pleaser, as you are so obsessed about keeping certain people in your circle happy (to make them like you), that you sacrifice your self-worth for it and take the blame for the mistakes of others.

You gain power because you’ve just decided for others how things have played out, you were the referee for some instance of social friction and you firmly stated the outcome of it (even if it’s the outcome of you being to blame for everything).

you deny your vulnerability – since you’ve messed up it couldn’t have been someone else hurting or wronging you.

Next time you catch yourself feeling guilty for something you rationally know you cannot be solely and completely blamed for, find reasons within yourself for what causes that feeling.

Do you feel in charge, thinking your worry can change something? Do you apologize, for manipulating empathy out of others? Does it give you an excuse for inaction?

Is it your well-established habit and default behaviour in a conflicting situation? Try understanding yourself better, using the knowledge from this section.

What Is Responsibility Fatigue?

What Is Responsibility Fatigue? Responsibility fatigue comes before burnout. It’s the red flag you need to pay attention to so you can course correct back to wholeness and vitality.

What Is Responsibility Fatigue? Responsibility Fatigue is being worn out from shouldering everyone else’s issues.

What Is Responsibility Fatigue? If you are suffering from responsibility fatigue, here are things you need to do immediately:

Stay in your own business.

“If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there.

Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present on my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn’t work. To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business.

Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what’s right for me? That is my only business.” ~ Byron Katie

This one is an ongoing practice and at times a challenging practice. But it’s also the most liberating practice.

Sometimes you’ll be able to return to your own business swiftly, and easily. Other times, you’ll need a friend or a great coach to firmly remind you that the worries or concerns you speak of, are none of your business.

They are somebody else’s business or they are God’s business.

What Is Responsibility Fatigue? Getting tired from inserting yourself into everyone’s business. So getting very clear on where your responsibility begins and where your responsibility ends. For everything outside those parameters, drop it. Drop it like it’s HOT!

Put your self-care needs first.

Some of the women I work with in my coaching practice have a really difficult time owning their needs, let alone expressing those needs to others.

There’s a voice inside their head telling them that the needs of everyone else are more important than their own.

Fellow mamas and entrepreneurs, I know you’re guilty of this one too! That’s why you’ve ended up at the bottom of the list again.

It’s time to reorder your priorities so you are number one. And you need to do this yesterday. Remember, if you’re running on empty you’ve got nothing to give.

Ask yourself:

What do you need so your body and soul feel nourished and vitalised?

What do you need to experience the feeling of being taken care of?

What do you need to give yourself today that your future self will thank you for tomorrow (or next month or next year)?

If you’re looking for some great ways to nurture yourself, check out this post on How to Start your Day.

Simplify your life.

Downsize.

Declutter.

Delegate.

Anything that feels heavy or icky or tight needs to go. Be ruthless. Your ultimate goal is to feel light: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Say no more.

When was the last time you lost yourself on the dance floor and overdosed on some wild fun times?!

Whenever it was, I can tell you now it’s been too long. All those responsibilities have you taking life too seriously.

It’s time to lighten up. Crank up your favourite tunes and dance it all out.

When Is Responsibility Too Much?

When Is Responsibility Too Much? When asked how you are, you typically answer “busy” or “tired.” You pay attention to the needs of others but often neglect your own.

You say “yes” to most things you are asked to do, regardless of your capacity or interest in doing them. You often feel anxious or resentful.

How can you differentiate between being stretched a little too thin and feeling like you’re under an avalanche of duties? There are several specific red flags, including these four:

When Is Responsibility Too Much? When asked how you are, you typically answer “busy” or “tired.”

When Is Responsibility Too Much? You pay attention to the needs of others but often neglect your own.

When Is Responsibility Too Much? You say “yes” to most things you are asked to do, regardless of your capacity or interest in doing them.

You often feel anxious or resentful.

“Anxiety is our body’s way of letting us know to pay attention

Symptoms of anxiety can include feeling nervous, restless, or tense; having a sense of impending danger or doom; a rapid heart rate; feeling weak or tired; trouble concentrating or trouble sleeping; as well as digestive issues. Compounding the problem:

Those of us who are already overwhelmed with responsibilities often don’t read these internal messages, so we live in a consistently activated and anxious state.

“Resentment is often an indicator that we’ve given beyond our limits.”

Overcoming Hyper-responsibility

Overcoming Hyper-responsibility. For many of us, it’s easy to fall into the role of taking on responsibility for others’ situations or problems.

We want to help, but often get hurt or frustrated when the other person is not accepting our help or allowing us to guide them.

When this occurs, it may be because we’re struggling to manage the balance between self-donation and hyper-responsibility.

Overcoming Hyper-responsibility. Don’t Pretend to be Mightier than God–We often become anxious because we feel like it’s our job to make people healthier than they want to be, to force people to be closer than they want to be.

All that tends to do is stress us out and push people away. The most we can do is offer people an open invitation to greater health and intimacy, provide incentives for pursuing greater health and intimacy, and offer consequences if they choose to engage in unhealthy or destructive personal or relational choices–and that’s a lot.

But when we find ourselves trying to beg, whine, cajole, force, manipulate, or pressure another person–against their will– into making healthier choices for their lives or our relationship with them, we are committing an offence against their free will.

Even God will not cross the lines a person draws with their own free will. Don’t pretend to be mightier than God.

By all means, invite people to be healthier and closer, and feel free to offer incentives, and even consequences, that help them take your invitation seriously, but it’s not your fault if they choose to walk away, literally or figuratively. You are morally obliged to let them.

Overcoming Hyper-responsibility. Take Your Cue From Them–

We sometimes get into trouble when we try to work harder on someone else’s problem than they are.

It’s good to be generous and to give all we have to help someone, but it only produces good fruit if the other person is also giving all they have to give.

Even if, objectively, the other person is limited in some way and isn’t able to give much, they still have to be actively trying to give all they have to the problem for any help to stick.

Otherwise, we burn ourselves out trying to solve problems that are not within our ability to solve. And we deplete the energy we would otherwise have to solve the problems that are within our control.

Overcoming Hyper-responsibility. If You Need Help, Get It–Hyper-responsible people often struggle with asking for help, especially if the people they have asked are less than enthusiastic about giving it.

If this happens to you, don’t assume that it automatically follows that you have to do everything.

Either find some other way to get the help you need–even if it is not your preferred way to get it–or, if worse comes to worst–decide what you are capable of doing without help and stick to that.

When other people complain that certain things aren’t getting done, simply tell them that you are doing all you can without their help, but if they would like to pitch in, then you are sure you could accomplish more together.

It is not your job to make everything work to an ideal standard on your power. The bottom line–respect your limits, and get the help you need.

Over Responsibility Is A Trauma Response

Over Responsibility Is A Trauma Response. Over-responsibility can be a trauma response. You are not responsible for everyone and everything. Permit yourself to lay down what doesn’t belong to you.

Did you know? Trauma survivors have a superpower: being able to read their surroundings and read people well.

Over Responsibility Is A Trauma Response. When you’re living with unresolved trauma, you’re living in a constant state of perceived danger, which means your instincts are sharp.

But, there is a flip side.

Over Responsibility Is A Trauma Response. Because you’re living in a constant state of perceived threat, your system is overloaded all the time.

This means, that not only can you feel others’ feelings more, but your threshold for how much you can tolerate those feelings is also lower.

This is not a weakness or a character flaw.

Think of how many bags and boxes you could hold in your hands when you’re holding nothing.

Now think of how much you could hold if you were already carrying a plant in one of your arms.

Over Responsibility Is A Trauma Response. The thing with trauma is our capacity to be able to hold things – emotions, words, decisions, etc. – becomes diminished. It makes perfect sense.

When our brain is perceiving a threat, doing anything other than finding safety is deprioritized.

Actual reserves (and blood flow!) are taken away from the parts of our body that do not need to function when we feel like our life is endangered.

Holding, monitoring, and guiding our loved ones’ emotions fall into that category of deprioritized functions, which is why it’s easy to hit our limit so much faster with them when we’re living with unresolved trauma.

This can show up as skipping your only chance to eat to rush and soothe a crying baby who is fussing because she’s bored, even though she’s perfectly safe.

You need her to stop crying because the sound is overwhelming or you feel guilty for not doing something to console her immediately when she squeaks with displeasure.

It can show up like bursting into tears when your toddler throws a tantrum for the 34th time in the afternoon because you just can’t take it anymore.

You are overwhelmed already and you have no idea how to help him feel better. This can also lead to feeling guilty, telling yourself you’re an awful mother.

Sometimes it can look like downplaying good news because excitement feels too exhausting. You may have received the news you’d been waiting for and though you feel relief, excitement, joy, and happiness feel too much.

For others, it looks like tiptoeing around your friends or relatives because you don’t want them to feel anything big (positive or negative). You just want some peace.

OCD And Hyper-responsibility

OCD And Hyper-responsibility. People who have OCD often overestimate the potential for danger and the consequences of making an error or not doing something perfectly.

For example, if you have OCD you might believe that the likelihood of being fired is extremely high and that if you make any mistake at work, even a small one, you could be let go.

This kind of thinking can help fuel compulsions by causing excessive checking or other types of repetitive behaviour to ward off the feared danger.

Of course, the fears may be justified, but in the vast majority of cases, this overestimation of danger is unfounded.

Inflation of Responsibility

OCD And Hyper-responsibility. If you have OCD, it is common to overestimate your responsibility for an event and to discount, ignore, or underestimate other plausible influences.

For instance, someone with OCD may think that if one leaves for work at the wrong time it will set in motion events that will lead to a plane crash.

To prevent this from happening, the person with OCD may engage in compulsions to undo or neutralize this negative outcome, such as repeating a phrase over and over again or leaving and returning to the house numerous times.

Of course, it is almost impossible to imagine how leaving for work at the wrong time would cause a plane to crash, nor is it logical that a compulsion such as repeating a phrase over and over again would prevent such an outcome.

Overestimation of Consequences

OCD And Hyper-responsibility. People with OCD often believe that if they encounter danger, they will be overwhelmed and will not be able to cope with the situation or will go crazy.

They may also believe that encountering danger invariably heralds a catastrophic outcome such as losing everything and ending up on the street.

For example, someone with OCD might fear being rejected in a romantic relationship because rejection would automatically mean one would become depressed and end up homeless.

This irrational belief discounts the very real possibility that the person with OCD might be able to cope with the situation completely fine, that family members would be there to offer support, and that the relationship ending could be an opportunity for a fresh start.

Need for Certainty

OCD And Hyper-responsibility. If you have OCD, it is very common to have an unrealistic need for certainty, even in situations where certainty is not possible.

This need for certainty can lead to seeking excessive reassurance from family members, therapists, and many others, to avoid feeling anxiety.

Excessive reassurance seeking is a form of avoidance, which only serves to reinforce anxious thoughts.

As well, it can cause loved ones to withdraw their support as they grow overwhelmed trying to provide reassurance.

Responsibility OCD At Work

Responsibility OCD At Work. If you have OCD, employment—seeking it out, obtaining it, and keeping it—can be extremely challenging.

Responsibility OCD At Work. While symptoms of OCD can get in the way of completing the required duties of a particular job, there is also the significant challenge of stigma, prejudice, and discrimination that is associated with mental illness.

Difficulties Between Employers and Employees

Responsibility OCD At Work. It is illegal to discriminate against someone because of a medical condition, including OCD.

For example, if you are otherwise qualified for the position, you cannot be denied employment simply because you have OCD.

Although the law is quite clear on this, the experience of prospective and current employees with OCD can, unfortunately, be quite different.

However unfair, there is quite a bit of incentive for employers to terminate or pass on hiring someone whom they know has a chronic illness, whether mental or physical.

On average, such an employee’s health costs are higher, they may be absent more days, and they may even have to go on long-term disability leave—all of which can impact the employer’s bottom line.

Responsibility OCD At Work. Although it is illegal to terminate someone based on a medical condition, there are many ways that employers can do so indirectly.

For example, the employer can give the employee progressively more undesirable tasks until the employee decides to leave.

Even if someone believes that they have been denied employment or relieved of a given job based on a medical condition, it is often very difficult to prove. That said, these types of situations reflect the worst-case scenario.

Examples Of Responsibility OCD

Examples Of Responsibility OCD. In response to their obsessive thoughts, a person with OCD will engage in compulsive actions to alleviate their anxiety or prevent a feared outcome from happening.

Here are some examples of what that might look like:

Examples Of Responsibility OCD. Seeking reassurance:

A person with OCD may constantly ask their friends and family to reassure them that they are not responsible for anything bad happening.

This validation is intended to relieve the anxiety their intrusive thoughts are causing. They may also look to trusted people in their lives to discredit their fears.

For example, they might ask, “Do you think it’s OK for me to buy the last carton of milk? Do you think someone else might need it more than I do?”

Even though they may experience temporary relief from reassurance, it’s only a matter of time before their OCD starts up again with new intrusive thoughts about how their actions could lead to more potential negative circumstances.

Reassurance-seeking leads to more reassurance-seeking, and for OCD, there’s no such thing as enough reassurance.

Examples Of Responsibility OCD. Performing rituals:

Some people may perform rituals during certain times of the day or under specific circumstances.

For example, a person may pick up and put down an item in a particular way to prevent their fear from becoming a reality.

They may have a ritual to think seven positive thoughts each time a negative thought about a friend comes into their head to ensure their negative thought won’t lead to something bad happening to their friend.

Examples Of Responsibility OCD. Mental review and Mental Checking:

Some people may engage in mental review and mental checking to reassure themselves that they are not responsible for their feared outcomes.

For example, a person might spend hours recalling a conversation with a friend to be sure they didn’t say anything harmful or offensive.

They might replay every moment they can remember from the conversation a dozen times and attempt to arrive at a definitive conclusion about whether or not they said something offensive and need to apologize, which they may significantly overdo.

Excessive Research:

A person may engage in compulsive research about the fears they are experiencing. For example, someone may fear they could run over a pedestrian or an animal while driving.

They may spend hours researching this possibility online or looking for new reports of hits & runs they fear they could be responsible for.

Avoidance:

Someone may avoid certain scenarios, places, products, or people where they think they could be responsible for a negative outcome.

For example, they might stop driving because the perceived possibility of hurting someone is too high.

They may avoid interacting with particular people for fear of saying the wrong comment and hurting their feelings.

They may even become homebound as a way to avoid being in any scenario that challenges their sense of hyper-responsibility.

Responsibility OCD Test

Responsibility OCD Test. Below is a list of eight questions designed for people who are experiencing anxiety-inducing thoughts or repetitive they believe to be uncontrollable. behaviours

The questions relate to life experiences common among people who have been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

This quiz is NOT a diagnostic tool. Mental health disorders can only be diagnosed by licensed health care professionals.

Psycom believes assessments can be a valuable first step toward getting treatment. All too often people stop short of seeking help out of fear their concerns aren’t legitimate or severe enough to warrant professional intervention.

Responsibility OCD Test.

Do you ever experience unwanted repetitive and persistent thoughts that cause you anxiety?

Never

Rarely

Sometimes

Often

Very Often

Do you ever fear contamination (i.e. germs) from people or the environment and engage in excessive cleaning? If so, how often?

Never

Rarely

Sometimes

Often

Very Often

Responsibility OCD Test.

Do you experience the need to constantly check on something (i.e. repeatedly checking to be sure doors are locked, light switches, and/or appliances are off) or arrange the order of things (a shelf in a bedroom or a kitchen cabinet, for example)?

Never

Rarely

Sometimes

Often

Very Often

Do you experience intrusive thoughts that are aggressive (i.e. harm to yourself or others) or about taboo topics such as porn?

Never

Rarely

Sometimes

Often

Very Often

Responsibility OCD Test.

Do you attempt to ignore/suppress these unwanted thoughts/images or engage in another activity (i.e. counting, hand washing, checking repeatedly to be sure doors are locked) to neutralize them and if so how often?

Never

Rarely

Sometimes

Often

Very Often

Do you engage in rituals that provide temporary relief to your anxiety, such as counting, checking, or cleaning?

Never

Rarely

Sometimes

Often

Very Often

Do you spend at least one hour a day thinking about obsessive thoughts or performing ritualistic behaviour in an attempt to avoid angst? If so, how often?

Never

Rarely

Sometimes

Often

Very Often

Is your job performance, home life, or social relationships significantly affected by your obsessive thinking or ritual behaviours?

Never

Rarely

Sometimes

Often

Very Often

Hyper-responsibility OCD Treatment

Hyper-responsibility OCD Treatment. Hyper-responsibility in OCD can be treated through therapy. There are several OCD treatments out there, one of the most common being exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy.

ERP is a kind of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) that involves learning to manage your obsessions without acting out your compulsions.

Your therapist will guide you through this process. Although ERP can be quite challenging, research shows that it’s effective for treating OCD: 50% to 60%Trusted Source of people improve after completing a course of exposure therapy.

OCD can also be treated through other kinds of therapy, including acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT).

Sometimes, people with OCD benefit from prescription medication, such as antidepressants. Discuss this possibility with your doctor or psychiatrist.

Hyper-responsibility OCD Treatment. Self-care strategies

Beyond therapy and medication, you might find certain self-care strategies helpful for managing hyper-responsibility and OCD.

Although these self-care strategies can’t replace therapy, they can be helpful in conjunction with therapy.

Self-care strategies for OCD will differ from person to person. Some popular strategies include:

Exercise has been shown to help with OCD symptoms.
Yoga and meditation. One clinical trialTrusted Source found these practices to be beneficial for people with OCD who did not respond to standard treatment.

Hyper-responsibility OCD Treatment. Mindfulness helps to reduce OCD symptoms when combined with ERP therapy.

OCD support groups.

You can find some through the IOCDF support groups list.

Stress management. Finding healthy emotional outlets for managing stress, such as journaling and creative hobbies, can help symptoms of OCD.

Hyper-responsibility OCD Treatment. Therapy should be your first port of call if you have (or suspect you have) OCD.

A therapist that is experienced in treating OCD could refer you to a psychiatrist if medication is needed.

They can also suggest self-care strategies and stress management techniques.

Responsibility Disorder

Responsibility Disorder. Responsibility OCD is a subset of OCD centred around anxiety and guilt. Sufferers are less concerned about their welfare, and more concerned with the repercussions of their actions or non-actions.

They worry endlessly about accidentally hurting others and oftentimes take responsibility for things that are not their fault.

Being concerned about how your actions affect those around you is normal.

However, for sufferers of Responsibility OCD, the anxiety about possibly causing another person harm is often unfounded and detrimental to daily life.

Common Responsibility OCD obsessions:

Fear that you accidentally put someone in danger.
Fear that an action or action you didn’t take could hurt a loved one.
Fear of failing to prevent harm from happening.

Common Responsibility OCD compulsions:

Responsibility Disorder. Guilt: Thinking you’re a bad person for harming a stranger or loved one by an action that you took or an action that you didn’t take.

Responsibility Disorder. Prayer: Having associations about spiritual harm happening to someone and then praying that it doesn’t happen.

Responsibility Disorder. Excessive washing: Repeated or overlong showering, hand-washing, using antibacterial soap, or heavy-duty cleaning products on your skin. This is similar to people with Contamination OCD.

Thinking you’re a bad person: Your character is at risk if you do the wrong thing and you feel devastated if someone thinks you’re a bad person.

Hyper Responsibility Conclusion

Hyper Responsibility Conclusion. If you’re ready to stop living with an inflated sense of responsibility for the safety of others and yourself, exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy can help.

Hyper Responsibility Conclusion. ERP is the gold standard treatment for OCD, and it works by habituating people to the uncertainty and anxiety caused by their obsessions, then teaching them to resist doing compulsions as a response.

Further reading

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