RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING FOR LONDON Posted byMiss Date Doctor February 1, 2023 Table of Contents hide 1 RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING FOR LONDON 1.1 How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost UK? 1.2 What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? 1.3 Is Counselling Good For Relationships? 1.4 How Much Does Relationship Advice Cost? 1.5 Why Do Therapists Charge More For Couples? 1.6 What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy? 1.6.1 Relationship Counselling For London Conclusion 1.7 Further reading RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING FOR LONDON Relationship Counselling For London. Relationship counselling assists people in relationships in communicating more effectively and resolving issues that impede a positive connection. Relationship Counselling For London aims to provide you with the tools you need to build a stronger, healthier relationship with your partner. Talking about the problems you’re having as a couple can help you break the patterns that are making your relationship difficult. Couples seek Relationship Counselling For London for a variety of reasons, including long-standing communication issues, destructive relationship dynamics, and/or specific issues such as substance abuse or infidelity. Couples dealing with these issues frequently feel as if they argue too much or not enough. Couples who are having problems may find themselves having the “same conversation over and over again,” or that conversations quickly escalate into arguments. Couples who have difficulty communicating or relating to one another may find their intimate relationship exhausting rather than strengthening. Whatever your issue is as a couple, couples counselling can teach you a variety of techniques to help you improve your relationship. Some methods are based on cognitive behavioural therapy. Other relationship issues are best addressed through emotionally focused therapy. Your couples counsellor will work with you and your partner to tailor the therapeutic approach to your specific needs. Relationship Counselling For London. Talking confidentially to someone who is objective about sources of friction in your relationship can be extremely beneficial in making your relationship more satisfying for both partners. A trained couples counsellor can assist you in overcoming your issues and improving your relationship, thereby improving the well-being of both partners. Relationship Counselling For London can help people cope with major life changes (having children, moving, the death of a parent, adopting stepchildren, losing a job, infidelity), as well as provide hope when the relationship is in trouble. Often, this will entail finding better ways to communicate with one another. During counselling, a couples relationship therapist will not take sides, but will instead work with all members of the relationship to achieve mutually agreed-upon therapeutic goals. Couples therapy has proven highly effective in helping resolve the inter-personal disputes that lead to stress and requires far fewer sessions than individual therapy to see positive results. Here’s how Relationship Counselling For London can help your relationship: Understanding It may sound obvious, but having a solid understanding or at the very least enough understanding to meet each other’s core needs is a must. Relationships are, after all, a continuous process of getting to know one another, so it would be unrealistic for you to know every facet of your partner’s character. However, even this can prove to be a stumbling block for some people, as they’re either unsure of how to take an interest in their spouse or open up about themselves. They might lack confidence or be guarded due to being scarred by past relationships. Getting to know your partner in a therapeutic setting allows you to do so in a safe environment, and one in which you’re encouraged to be honest with one another without the fear of judgment. One of the most effective short-hand ways of creating this bond between you is through getting to know your partner’s love map i.e. their wishes, worries, dreams and joys. Through learning what motivates each other, it enables you to empathise more deeply with your partner’s wants and needs. Communication Relationship Counselling For London. Communication is the lifeblood of all good relations. However, the problem lies in that although you think you’re saying one thing, your words can often be interpreted in completely the opposite way. This inevitably leads to inflammatory situations and standoffs, in which each party feels they’re right. In a couples therapy setting, you’re encouraged to become mindful of the language you use with one another to avoid these kinds of dramas. One of the most effective ways of disarming these trigger points is through the use of the ‘I’ statement. By taking responsibility for your own feelings in a neutral manner rather than using an accusatory ‘you’ form of communicating, it allows you to express yourself without causing the other person to adopt a defensive stance. An example of this might be, ‘I feel that when (situation) happens, it makes it very hard for me to (feel/perform). Can we find another way?’ This type of exchange is also typically known as ‘non-violent communication.’ Getting used to relating to each other in this way might feel a little awkward at first, but with practice will come to feel quite natural. Trust Relationship Counselling For London. In cases where trust has been broken in your relationship, couples therapy can help facilitate the rebuilding process. If, for example, you’re struggling with betrayal, you’ll be guided step by step towards re-establishing your connection with your partner. This requires providing full disclosure of events from both sides, as even in cases where there is an obvious offender, a proper understanding of the issue must be gained to help rationalise what has happened. You’re then both encouraged to express and let go of your anger, as there may be feelings of resentment on the part of the offender just as much as there might be justifiable anger with the victim. As you move forward onto the commitment stage, this is where you will make agreements about what you expect from one another and would be an ideal opportunity for you to put the ‘I’ statement into practice. The final rebuilding of trust is based on forgiveness, which can be offered and accepted in an instant, but ultimately takes time to heal. From that point, it is the responsibility of you both to treat your relationship as a fresh start, free of resentment, being fully transparent with each other about how things will be from now on. How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost UK? How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost UK? The cost of therapy can vary from £ 120 to £300 per session. If you go through the NHS, then it is free of course. The downside is that you usually have to wait at least eight weeks, sometimes a lot longer. Money can be really hard to talk about. It’s definitely not everyone’s favorite small talk at the office holiday party. So how do you approach the dollar sign conversation when it comes to the price of your therapist? There is no set price for seeing a therapist. Prices can range anywhere from $5 to $500 a session and everywhere in between. But what does that number actually mean? Is it based on their experience? Or does more money mean faster results? Does expensive always mean better? Paying for therapy can be really confusing. Let’s be clear: There are excellent therapists at every price. Just like geographical location, age, identity, and theoretical approach: The best therapist is the one who is the right fit for you. That includes financial considerations too. If you can’t afford groceries because of your therapy bills, you’re seeing the wrong therapist. I don’t care how much you like them, how chunky their jewelry is, or how hip their eyeglass frames are. If therapy is taking away too much from other parts of your life, you’re going to hate the process. If your therapist can’t talk about money with you, what else can’t they talk about? That is not a good standard to set in a professional relationship that’s based on communication. If you feel nervous bringing money up with your therapist, you don’t want someone sitting across from you who’s just as nervous as you are! Being clear and transparent about fees is actually a very therapeutic task for your therapist. It means that they not only have enough understanding of their business to know exactly what they need to charge (and don’t go above or below that), but it means they feel confident about what they’re offering you. It shows that they are comfortable having uncomfortable conversations. That they stand by the value of work that they do. They are charging a specific price for a reason, not just seeing what they can get away with. This confidence applies not only to their rates, but to their schedule, their expertise, and even whether they will take you on as a client. (Not gonna lie, some of us actually prefer working evenings if it means we get to sleep in.) Of course, flexibility is helpful, and is also a sign of confidence. But a great therapist should be clear on what they are willing to negotiate, and what they are not. Why does the price of therapy vary so much? How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost UK? As with many things, you tend to pay more for better quality. It may come as a shock, but anyone can advertise themselves as a psychotherapist or counsellor. It isn’t illegal to do so. Unlike many other professions such as Doctor, Dentist, Pharmacist and Physiotherapist, there is no regulatory body for counselling and psychotherapy. How do you know whether your counsellor is qualified? How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost UK? You should always check that a Counsellor, Psychotherapist or Psychologist has relevant qualifications. When you look at their website or directory listing, any professional worth seeing will mention their training. If it doesn’t, then you can always ask them on the phone. What qualifications should they have? There are many relevant qualifications, so here are the important ones: British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost UK? You should be careful, because some people say they have a certificate or diploma in CBT or counselling, but this doesn’t mean it is a post-graduate course. If they are not post-graduate, then they could be cheap online certificates. They are bogus, and you shouldn’t trust people who do that. Relationship Counselling For London. The safest way to ensure your counsellor has the appropriate training is to check whether they are accredited. Accreditation means that a therapist is a member of a professional organisation. It’s not like anyone can join, because you have to show proof of training. People have to go through a rigorous process of proving that they have the right attitude and ethics as well as the training and experience. How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost UK? As you’d expect, prices are often the highest in London. Across the rest of the UK, you can pay as little as £40 per session or as high as £150. Psychologists often charge more than counsellors, because they’ve often undergone more extended training. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re the best person to help you. Our team of therapists, counsellors and psychologists are skilled in multiple therapy models, which means they have an extensive toolbox of coping strategies that can teach you. They’ve also acquired an in-depth knowledge of how people function so they can help you figure out why you are stuck. How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost UK? Each session is sixty minutes and structured to ensure you learn a new skill. We want you to have something new and to practice between sessions. When we teach you the right skills, and you invest in the practice, that is when you create a powerful transformation. It’s not always easy to remember what we cover in each session, so your therapist will send you a written summary after each appointment. How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost UK? You’ll get audio exercises, written worksheets, articles to read, videos to watch and podcasts to listen while on the go. Together, we’ll create action plans, so you are clear about what you need to do. Your life and wellbeing are valuable to us, and we want to do all we can to make it better. What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? There are several types of therapy. A mental health professional may combine different aspects of different types to best meet the needs of the individual seeking treatment. Gottman method therapy, imago therapy and emotion focused therapy are the most notably popular therapy used but i’ll be sharing with you more therapeutic methods which are just as effective. Psychodynamic therapy What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? Therapists use this approach to help people identify unconscious beliefs that can impact their mood and behaviour — many times stemming from their childhood. For example, someone who was disciplined as a child for any grade below an A might have an unconscious belief that they will be punished for anything less than perfect. The goal is to increase insight into whatever kind of unconscious material might be driving behavior in order to promote some kind of change through the person understanding themselves and why they do certain things. This is a good option for those who have problems with self-esteem, self-confidence and self-expression. It can also help those who have depression and anxiety. Behavioural therapy What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? A contrast to psychodynamic therapy, behavioural therapy focuses on the present. There’s less focus on why a behaviour started and more emphasis on the barriers to changing it and why that behavior is being rewarded. We want to reinforce desired behaviors that we want to increase. And then we want to have consequences for undesired behaviours. Used often with children, it establishes rewards for things like making their bed and removes privileges for things like acting out. Some subsets of behavioural therapy include: Systematic desensitization: This practice slowly introduces exposure to something you might fear like spiders. Aversion therapy: The idea here is to create consequences for behaviors that you want to stop like biting your nails. Flooding: A more direct approach to dealing with phobias, this practice places you in a situation where you’re confronted with your fear or phobia so you can process all your feelings at once. Behavioural therapy is good for dealing with phobias, substance use disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? Cognitive behavioural therapy combines some of the principles of behavioral therapy with the theory that our thoughts, feeling or behaviors are all connected and influence each other. So if we think differently or if we act differently, we could likely feel differently. And sometimes our feelings are going to also influence how we think and act.” A lot of CBT involves talking with your therapist about your thought process about any situations you’d like to discuss. Your therapist will ask what you were thinking and how it made you feel. It’s really trying to identify and shift patterns of thinking that might be problematic or inaccurate. The goal is to replace harmful or negative thought patterns or behaviors with ones that helpful and positive. People with mood disorders, anxiety, eating disorders and OCD might find CBT helpful. Dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? Originally developed as a specific treatment for borderline personality disorder, this type of therapy focuses on developing skills to cope with challenging situations. Dialectical” simply means a logical discussion of ideas and opinions, and the goal is to learn how to deal with and accept difficult emotions. It’s used to treat disorders that have a lot of emotional dysfunction. It helps people develop mindfulness, emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness skills. It helps them regulate negative emotions and have healthier relationships. Dialectical behavioural therapy is useful for people who are having suicidal thoughts and other self-destructive behaviors. Humanistic therapy What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? Focusing on people’s strengths, humanistic therapy can help people achieve their goals and feel more satisfied in life. It focuses less on treating symptoms and problems. You will usually focus on self-discovery and self-acceptance. It could be really helpful for someone who is doing OK in life but wants to grow.” Relationship Counselling For London. Sessions are less structured than other therapies and are good for those who want to discuss existential issues or big picture issues. It can help you understand your worldview and develop true-self acceptance. Anyone dealing with self-esteem issues, relationship issues, depression or anxiety might find humanistic therapy beneficial. How to decide what’s best for you What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? To help find the best type of therapy for you, Dr. Potter suggests starting out with what problems or issues you’d like to discuss. Ask yourself: What do I want to change? What is getting in the way of me making that change? How much structure do I want in my sessions? For example, if you know you have a compulsive behaviour like gambling or overeating, then you might want to seek out a behavioural therapist. Relationship Counselling For London. It’s also important to note that many mental health professionals use an integrative approach, meaning they are trained in a variety of therapies and will often use multiple approaches into their patient’s treatment. Ask any potential therapists the following questions to help make the best decision: Are you licensed? Do you have experience treating people with similar problems? How do you think that I can get better? What kind of approaches do you use for problems like this? If you have a sense that something is wrong and you don’t know how to fix it, then therapy is a good option. Is Counselling Good For Relationships? Is Counselling Good For Relationships? Do you ever wonder or even despair at your relationship? Perhaps there have been underlying problems for a while. Perhaps there has been an incident, such as infidelity, that threatens the relationship. Perhaps you feel that you have grown apart. The reasons are many and varied, but they all have one thing in common – unhappy partners who often feel disrespected, alone or even trapped. There are many reasons why relationships break down. This could be a consequence of an affair, betrayal, arguments or communication issues, lack of intimacy or imbalanced responsibilities. It is at this point that many will turn to services such as a marriage, couple’s or relationship counsellor to ‘save’ their relationship because they’ve asked themselves “Is Counselling Good For Relationships?” and think they have the answer. Yet, can we say that relationship counselling will deliver this goal? Like so many answers today, the answer is “it depends”. While counselling is very effective at repairing the most broken of relationships, there are some fundamental problems that might make repair impossible. Ask yourself: Can you change? Is Counselling Good For Relationships? One of the partners may have decided that, no matter what, they want out; that they don’t wish to repair the relationship and that counselling is unlikely to help. So, you need to check that your partner feels the same way and wants to save the relationship. Change is going to be required to make a difference to save the relationship, and however badly you believe your partner’s faults to be the issue, some of that change is likely to fall to both partners in the relationship. Indeed, you both need to ask yourselves if you have the capacity to change, because it may require major changes e.g. giving up alcohol. Don’t leave it too late Is Counselling Good For Relationships? Couples often leave problems until they are at a point where the relationship is on the critical list. They may not come for counselling until one or the other is on the point of leaving or demanding a divorce. Often this will make the task very much harder because of the history of what has been said; the insults and accusations that have been hurled at one another. There can be little doubt that the sooner couples with problems come to counselling the better. Talk it out Is Counselling Good For Relationships? Typically people will have spent time talking about problems, going around in circles and seeing little or no improvement. Often partners feel that they are not valued or respected, perhaps even ignored. Perhaps every time you talk it turns into a blazing row, or there are ‘taboo’ subjects in your house. All of these are signs that counselling may help. Is Counselling Good For Relationships? Counselling can help, but the partners in the relationship have to want it to succeed, and they have to be prepared to be honest with each other and be open to change. Ultimately, like with all types of therapy, you must both be ready to admit that there is a problem which needs addressing. Marriage, couple’s or relationship counselling can help, but the ‘fix’ doesn’t come overnight. How does it work? Is Counselling Good For Relationships? Marital, relationship or couples counselling aims to improve the way you understand one another. A therapist can help partners and individuals express themselves more effectively and improve communication. How Much Does Relationship Advice Cost? How Much Does Relationship Advice Cost? If you’ve been considering seeing a marriage/relationship counsellor I want you to ask yourself the following: “How much does my marriage mean to me and what am I willing to do to save it?” You may have just thought about things like, “stop smoking,” “change my job,” “move to ______.” What if, for starters, it were simply, “go to counselling and pay some pounds.” How would that sound? Not that you can buy your way into or out of a truly healthy, attached relationship, but sometimes a time commitment and a credit card are what it takes to get the healing process going. It’s certainly what typically starts and ends relationships. How Much Does Relationship Advice Cost? We all put a price on our relationships. What’s yours? What are you willing to pay to get back or even improve upon the amazing relationship you used to have with your loved one? What would it be worth to you if not only were you able to stand being around them again, but you actually craved that time? How Much Does Relationship Advice Cost? What if your spouse wanted to leave you? Maybe you’re there right now. What would you pay to get them back? Would you quit your job? Pay a £10,000 “I’m sorry, please forgive me” fine? Give up poker on Tuesday and Friday nights for a year? Everybody’s got a price. Relationship Counselling For London. We know this because we are a team of relationship counsellors. We know this because there are regularly people who call us and talk about how their marriage is in trouble and counselling is their last hope. Then they typically do one of two things. They either hear my fee and say “When is the soonest we can come in?” or they occasionally ask if I have a sliding scale or accept insurance. So what should you pay for Relationship Counselling For London? What is a “good price to pay” for life-changing, empowering, relationship-saving counseling? Let me put it this way: Suppose you have brain cancer. What would you pay for a good neurosurgeon? Would you try to negotiate down his/her fee? Or would you simply tell your partner, don’t worry about the cost. We’ll figure it out. Of course, you would likely ask around for a referral to the best oncologist/neurosurgeon people had heard of and go there as often as the doctor recommended, for as long as they recommended, and concern yourself with the cost after the treatment had taken place. How Much Does Relationship Advice Cost? Your primary concern would not be the drive or the fee, but rather, is this person going to provide me with the life-giving healing I need? Another reasonable point to consider here is the cost of not saving your relationship. Citing Forbes, LegalZoom.com wrote about the average cost of divorce in various circumstances. The average cost of a “contested divorce” is between $15,000-$30,000. One year of marriage counselling (if it ends up going on for that long) is typically less than $10,000. How Much Does Relationship Advice Cost? Certainly, finances are important. We should aim to be good stewards of our resources. But if we are poor stewards of our relationships, what we do with our money is of little consequence. Effective relationship advice may cost you anywhere from approximately £120 to £300, but these numbers really are arbitrary. The therapist may be licensed, perhaps not. These details only matter if they help you feel more comfortable. They will not necessarily make your therapist better or worse. There are plenty of high-priced therapists out there that will struggle to help you, and plenty of pre-licensed, inexpensive therapists that will change your relationship for the better in record time. Read. Watch. Call. Learn what you can, and take a leap. It’s mostly a matter of finding a therapist that’s a good fit for you and your partner. How Much Does Relationship Advice Cost? So again, ask yourself, “How much does my marriage mean to me and what am I willing to do to save it?” If my marriage were in trouble I would not look for a marriage counsellor on Groupon. I would not Google, “discount marriage counselor as close as possible to my house.” I’m all for using free benefits, but I’d probably not go to a counselor covered by my Employee Assistance Program for the small handful of sessions they cover. I’d ask around. I’d check with my colleagues, friends, and family to see who they’ve gone to that was helpful. I’d look up therapists online and read what they’ve written, watch their videos, and call them to talk for a few minutes about how they can help save my marriage. I’d do whatever I could to make sure that the most important relationship with my favorite of the 7 billion people on this planet did not end prematurely. How Much Does Relationship Advice Cost? And I sure as heck would not worry about whether they cost £75 per hour or £250 per hour. The right counsellor is the right counsellor and they will give the right advice. Why Do Therapists Charge More For Couples? Why Do Therapists Charge More For Couples? If you have been searching for couples therapy in your area, you are likely experiencing “sticker shock.” Some of the best therapists in town are charging between £120 – £300 per hour. Why Do Therapists Charge More For Couples? After crunching the numbers, you realize if you need months of therapy than it will amount to a few thousand dollars. So, you are likely wondering, is couples therapy really worth the expense? Yes it is, and here are the reasons why marriage and couples therapy can be so expensive: The therapist who (truly) specializes in couples therapy has extensive and costly training that enables them to do this work. All of these specialists have a minimum of a masters degree and many have a doctorate. These degrees require years of post-graduate study. After this extensive education, therapists must do their clinical hours under supervision that they pay for on a weekly basis for a minimum of two years. Why Do Therapists Charge More For Couples? Many therapists elect to complete additional training in a particular method of couples’ therapy (such as EFT or The Gottman Method). Therefore, marriage therapists are highly educated and highly skilled, and their expertise is not, and should not be, inexpensive. Why Do Therapists Charge More For Couples? Insurance does not cover couples therapy. Relationship problems and couples/marriage therapy do not have a “billable diagnostic code” for insurance. Some therapists will give one partner a diagnosis and bill for sessions under that client. You may be able to find a therapist willing to do this, but again, he or she may be a general therapist and not have specialized training to work with couples. Some therapists ethically wish to avoid labeling one of you when the problem being treated is a relational. Unfortunately, insurance reimbursement DOES NOT commensurate with the experience of those who specialize in couples therapy or other complex mental health disorders. Why Do Therapists Charge More For Couples? Couples therapy takes longer than individual therapy. Relationship dynamics are complex. Working with you both as a couple will take more time than individual therapy. The assessment process alone can take up to four sessions. You also may have waited too long to get help and the problems can be bigger and more complicated by the time you finally make the call to find a therapist. Why Do Therapists Charge More For Couples? Couples therapists have a hard time with the “50 minute hour.” The sweet spot for an effective couples’ session seems to be around 75 – 90 minutes. Research supports this estimate. Things are usually hitting a pivotal point around 50 – 60 minutes and stopping right then is difficult. It is much better to tie up loose ends as much as possible in each session and this often requires more time with two people than it does with one. Options If You Can’t Afford Couples Therapy Relationship Counselling For London. Keep in mind that marriage therapy will always cost less than a divorce. If you are financially struggling, you may be able to find a “sliding fee” therapist or community agency for less than a traditional marriage therapist. If you are near a university or training center, going to that institution’s clinic may be a viable solution as well, but expect to be working with someone still under supervision for their degree and/or license. Note that the quality may vary with these selections, so be sure to ask the right questions to find out about the therapist’s specialized training with couples and/or how he or she will be supervised. A couples workshop or group is also often a lower cost option. Reading highly recommended self-help books together can also be beneficial. These options may only work for couples with minor or less complicated issues. Doing a workshop and reading self-help books can also possibly assist in shortening the time you need to be in marriage therapy. Why Do Therapists Charge More For Couples? It never hurts to ask the therapist for a reduced fee. The worst he or she can say is “no.” The next question might be about another therapist or a resource the therapist might recommend in your area if their services are still beyond your financial reach. Although couple therapy is costly, it is absolutely worth it. If you are not sure that it is right for you and your spouse, you both can always commit to an initial visit only at first. Making the effort to find the best help you can afford or budget your money for this service is a sound idea. When you commit to counseling, give it a full and sincere effort and you will find it was a wise investment in your relationship. What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy? What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy? The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy? The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship. What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy? Couples who enter Gottman Method Couples Therapy begin with an assessment process that helps to determine the therapeutic framework and the interventions that will be used during treatment. Assessment – During the assessment, the therapist speaks with both partners together before speaking with them individually. Couples share their relationship philosophy, history, and therapeutic goals. They also complete questionnaires and receive feedback on their relationship. Therapeutic Framework – The couple and the therapist decide on the structure and parameters of therapy that are most likely to promote healing. Considerations may include how often the couple meets for therapy, the length of each session, and the overall duration of treatment. Therapeutic interventions – Couples learn specific techniques and strategies to work on the areas such as repairing the relationship after arguments, not letting conflict escalate and how to respond positively and with love to their partner. What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy? These interventions are designed to help couples learn how to replace negative patterns of behaviour with positive ones, become closer and prevent relapse. What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy? Some of these techniques include: Getting to know each other’s hopes, fears, and desires Using “I” statements instead of “You” statements Avoiding harsh start-ups to a conversation Expressing your opinion without judging or blaming your partner Learning how to de-escalate Learning how to soothe yourself and your partner psychologically Self- regulation exercises What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy? Drs. John and Julie Gottman have found that couples can heal these maladaptive patterns by incorporating nine successive pieces of lasting relationships which encompass the targets of Gottman Method Therapy: Build Love Maps: Cultivate knowledge of each other’s inner emotional world, and your personal histories, worries, stresses, joys, and hopes. Express Fondness & Admiration: Reconnect with and express your fondness and admiration for one another. Turn Towards: Learn to directly state your needs, be aware of each other’s bids for connection, and respond to them. The Positive Perspective: Develop a positive approach to problem-solving and improve your ability to successfully repair ruptures in your relationship. Manage Conflict: Learn how to respond effectively to solvable problems vs. perpetual problems. Make Life Dreams Come True: Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations. Create Shared Meaning: Understand important visions, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship. Trust: Learn to keep your partner’s best interests at heart and “have their back” so they can develop greater trust in you and rest easy knowing you’ll be there for them. Commitment: This means believing (and acting on the belief) that your relationship with this person is completely your lifelong journey, for better or for worse (meaning that if it gets worse you will both work to improve it). It implies cherishing and reinforcing your partner’s positive qualities and cultivating gratitude. What Is Gottman Method Couples Therapy? Gottman Method Therapy for Couples is the result of over 40 years of research into what makes couples succeed and fail. Findings from this body of research have lead to the development of this successful model of couples counseling. Relationship Counselling For London Conclusion Relationship Counselling For London Conclusion. Being in an intimate relationship can be absolutely wonderful. It can also be a lot of work. Many couples hit a rough patch, when neither of them is getting what they want and need from the relationship, and problems arise. Although they still love and care for one another deeply, something has gone wrong. In this situation, it is all too easy to fall into a vicious circle of blame and recrimination, while problems escalate. Relationship difficulties can also be triggered by external factors, such as financial problems, or by one or both parties struggling with issues at work. Changes to the couple, such as when a child is born or leaves home, or when elderly parents need help or pass away, can also lead to problems. Relationship Counselling For London Conclusion. While couples can sometimes resolve problems on their own, a lot of heartache can be prevented by seeking help before difficult issues get out of hand. If you are in a relationship that is passing through a difficult phase, it might be a good idea to consider couples therapy. It can be hard, even impossible, for anyone to judge their own relationship and its strengths and weaknesses effectively. With professional help, couples can work through their problems and figure out a healthier way to manage conflicts of interest and sources of stress and strain on the relationship. It doesn’t make you immune from experiencing hardships, but what it does offer are the skills to act with greater awareness when faced with those situations. By making the commitment to improve your ability to understand, communicate and trust, you’re then better able to create a successful, long-lasting connection with your partner. Further reading Dating coach Homepage RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING NEAR ME NOW Relationship Courses All Services Editorial Improve my relationship I think my boyfriend is cheating on me Family Therapy Overwhelmed meaning Ghosted PTSD quotes Cheating quotes Relationship poems What to do if a guy doesn’t text you for a week Stages of a rebound relationship Feeling used I am too scared to date again 9 texts to never send a man or woman I still love my ex Do you have anger issues please take the test click here Do guys notice when you ignore them Why can’t I get over my ex who treated me badly? Communal Narcissism Emotional cheating texting Narcissist love bombing