Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety Posted byMiss Date Doctor February 1, 2023 Table of Contents hide 1 Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety 1.1 What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Has Performance Anxiety? 1.2 Why Does My Boyfriend Have Performance Anxiety? 1.3 Is Male Performance Anxiety Common? 1.4 How Do You Break The Cycle of Performance Anxiety? 1.5 How To Help A Guy With Performance Anxiety 1.6 Performance Anxiety Dating 1.7 Female Performance Anxiety With New Partner 1.8 Viagra For Performance Anxiety 1.9 Husband Has Performance Anxiety Trying To Conceive 1.10 If A Guy Is Nervous In Bed 1.11 Erectile Problems New Girlfriend 1.12 Viagra Not Working For Performance Anxiety 1.12.1 Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety Conclusion 1.13 Further reading Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Performance anxiety during sex is incredibly common for folks of all genders. People worry about their erections, their wetness, the way their body looks, their oral technique, their dirty talk skills—so many different things. That worry can stem from a few different places. For many folks, performance anxiety comes from unreasonable expectations that we place on ourselves because of things we’ve seen in porn and movies. We think sex is meant to look or go a certain way, and we try to model what we see on the screen instead of focusing on what is enjoyable. For others, performance anxiety can stem from past experiences. If a previous partner has said, for example, that you won’t last “long enough” or that you haven’t satisfied them in some way, you might feel embarrassed or ashamed, and you might carry those feelings with you into future situations. In general, worries about our performance are rooted in not feeling “enough” (go ahead and fill in the blank with whatever adjective you want). The thing is, there’s no such thing as a universal standard of “enough.” Every person’s pleasure points and desires are different, and if you spend each sexual encounter trying to satisfy a past sexual encounter, you’re missing the point. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Performance anxiety can be alleviated by two seemingly simple things: communication and reframing your sex life. Most of us tend to talk about sex either right before we start having it, while we’re having it, or just afterward. But to have pleasurable and fulfilling sex, you should be talking about it well before sex ever starts. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Set up a sex date with your partner so that you can each talk about your desires and boundaries. You can use tools (like the survey on We Should Try It or the Sex Talk game) to get started. This is a great opportunity to talk about the things that please you and to address their worries about performance. For example, if someone feels stressed that they can’t get “wet enough” you can remind them “hey, that’s what lube is for. It’s cool.” Or, if someone is worried that their erection won’t last long enough, you can talk about the other types of play that you enjoy and ask if they’d be interested in trying cock rings. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. When you try to have big conversations about sex while you’re in the bedroom, emotions can run high. People might feel like they have to respond right away or in a certain way, or they might simply feel extra self-conscious. So, plan for this conversation to happen outside of the bedroom. Set a date for your talk and make it as comfortable as possible. That might mean getting snuggly on the couch and drinking a glass of wine or cup of tea, or it might mean going for a picnic in your favourite park. Wherever you choose to have it, make sure it’s private enough that you can talk (and feel some feelings) without feeling like you have to adjust your language for others nearby. And critically, plan this date with your partners. If you just spring a sex talk date on them, they might feel overwhelmed and unprepared, and that doesn’t lead to free-flowing, helpful conversation. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Work together to find a day and time that will work for you. In other words, treat it like an actual date, even if you don’t leave the house. Reframing what you consider to “count” as sex can be helpful here, too. Many of us have been taught that the only valid type of sex is penetrative sex, but that’s not true. Sex is much more than that narrow definition, and it can include fingering, hand jobs, oral sex, using toys on each other, mutual masturbation, sexting, penetration, and so much more. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Take some time to think about the sex acts that bring each of you pleasure. What would your sex life be like if you focused more on pursuing pleasure rather than following a script of what sex “should” look like? How might that alleviate some of the anxiety? Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Remember, sex isn’t a spin class, so you don’t need to concern yourself with your performance or stats. It’s a mutual experience, and that means openly communicating about what you like, trying new things, and working together to create fun and fulfilling experiences. When you start to design your sex life around that ideology, performance anxiety can begin to fade into the background. People also ask What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Has Performance Anxiety? What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Has Performance Anxiety? There’s no such thing as a perfect sex life for couples. For instance, men can sometimes suffer from sexual performance anxiety, which is nervousness or fear about their ability to please their partner which can make them awkward or even unable to perform at all in the bedroom. In other words, it’s a major buzzkill. However, while this can be frustrating, it’s important not to get discouraged. If you think that your boyfriend might be dealing with this issue, there are some things you can do as his girlfriend to help the situation. What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Has Performance Anxiety? TELL HIM HE’S SEXY. Image isn’t everything, but it can be a huge influence when it comes to a guy having performance anxiety. Poor body image is one of the leading causes. If he doesn’t like the way he looks, he’ll be apprehensive about getting naked in front of you. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Sometimes guys just need validation in their appearance and know that their girlfriends are attracted to them. Let your guy know that you like the way he looks and that you want him. FIX THE RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS. If there are underlying issues in a relationship, they can manifest in a lot of ways. A guy could be mad at you or insecure about the relationship. This could lead to performance issues in the bedroom or a guy simply not wanting to sleep with you. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. While some people can detach sex from emotions, that doesn’t work for everyone. Problems with the relationship can create trouble in the bedroom, so try to mend whatever rift exists and see if that helps. What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Has Performance Anxiety? BE OPEN TO OTHER THINGS. If sex is the specific issue that’s plaguing your boyfriend, try being affectionate in other ways. Stay open-minded and don’t treat intercourse as the only option. Let your boyfriend know what else you like and other ways he can please you because that’s ultimately what he wants. It’s just that something is causing him to be nervous and anxious. Experiment with other things so you can hopefully find something that you both enjoy. When he discovers that he can please you in other ways, his anxiety might slowly dissipate and you can gradually work your way back to sex. MULTI-TASK A BIT. This may sound a little counterintuitive, but don’t make everything about sex. Some guys need a little distraction so that they’re not entirely focused on having sex. This is when their anxiety can get the best of them. Try having sex while listening to music or watching a movie. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. There should be something that can serve as a small distraction. No, this isn’t the most romantic thing in the world, but if he can divide his attention, he’ll have less room in his head to think about the things that make him anxious about performing. What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Has Performance Anxiety? GIVE HIM A CONFIDENCE BOOST. This tends to start outside the bedroom. Find ways to boost your boyfriend’s ego and make him feel better about himself. Granted, some guys have an ego that’s out of control, but if he has performance anxiety, he might feel unworthy of being with you. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Put his mind at ease by telling him that you’re happy with the relationship. You want him to feel comfortable and confident so he doesn’t put so much pressure on himself to perform in bed. LOWER EXPECTATIONS. Let’s be honest, high expectations are the enemy of sexual performance. Not everyone can be Cassanova. However, if you have a good boyfriend, he’ll want everything to be perfect and make you happy. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. If he’s having performance issues, let him know that it’s okay if things aren’t perfect. Tell him that just being with him is enough for you. Even if that’s not true, if you can convince him of that, it should help put his mind at ease. Just keep in mind that overcoming performance anxiety can take a little time. But if you can lower expectations and be patient, things will start to improve. TALK ABOUT THE PROBLEM. The problem with life is that problems don’t go away if you ignore them. This isn’t an easy topic to talk about with guys. The last thing we want to hear about is our sexual inadequacies. Just be considerate and sensitive when you bring up the subject so you can put everything on the table. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Let him know that you want to make things better just like he does. Try to be comforting so that he knows you’re on the same side. Otherwise, he’ll close off and you won’t make any progress. ENCOURAGE HIM TO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP. If some of the methods above fail, try to get your boyfriend to seek professional help. There are a lot of problems that couples can’t always solve between themselves. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Sexual performance anxiety is sometimes one of them. It could take a therapist or doctor to discover the root cause of the issue and the potential solution. The longer you wait, the more challenging it could be, so couples shouldn’t be afraid to seek outside help for problems in the bedroom. Why Does My Boyfriend Have Performance Anxiety? Why Does My Boyfriend Have Performance Anxiety? Performance” anxiety, indeed! That’s precisely the problem: thinking of sex as a performance, as something we are doing that is being scrutinized and evaluated by an audience. This performance mindset leads many men to be self-conscious, self-critical, worried, tense, and anxious while being sexual. This in turn often results in bringing about the very problem they were worrying about in the first place: erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or difficulty experiencing orgasm. These sexual problems can be caused by various medical conditions, or may even result from—or be made worse by—various medications you may take. If you experience these problems frequently while being sexual with someone else, but seldom experience them while being sexual by yourself, then it is unlikely that a medical problem or medication is the principal cause. But if you are unsure, consult with your physician first for an assessment. In addition, there are medications available that can help with these sexual problems, although sometimes with side effects. In addition, these medications sometimes have the effect of reinforcing the tendency to focus on “performance” rather than pleasure, which keeps the problem alive. Sexual performance anxiety can occur because of a wide range of different physical problems and psychological factors, including: Why Does My Boyfriend Have Performance Anxiety? Because he has concerns about sexual performance (for example, worrying that you may not fully satisfy your partner or that you may have trouble ejaculating) Why Does My Boyfriend Have Performance Anxiety? Because he has Self-esteem or body image issues, such as concern over your weight, height, or penis size Why Does My Boyfriend Have Performance Anxiety? Because he is Stressing about erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, failure to reach orgasm, and other medical conditions that can affect sexual satisfaction Relationship issues, such as a lack of emotional connection or dissatisfaction with your relationship Other mental health or sources of stress, such as difficulties regarding work, relationships, family, or other non-sexual aspects of your life Nervousness about sexual activity, in general Is Male Performance Anxiety Common? Is Male Performance Anxiety Common? Yes, it is. Medical professionals report that many more young men are coming to them complaining of ED. “I have been treating patients for 30 years, and there’s no doubt that we’re seeing more young men today than we used to,” says Dr. Douglas Savage of the Centre for Men’s Health, based in Harley Street and Manchester. “Often, these are men who appear to be super-healthy: they’re slim, they exercise, they’re young, and you think: ‘Why on earth have these people got sexual difficulties?’” Is Male Performance Anxiety Common? It is. Whether it is as a result of drinking, stress, or tiredness, the inability to get or maintain an erection will happen to most men at some point in their lives. Party drug culture and Viagra marketing have led men to pathologise occasional erection issues as something more sinister. Is Male Performance Anxiety Common? Everyone has erectile problems from time to time. It would be weird if you didn’t. But drug companies in the 90s started pushing the idea that any erection trouble is unacceptable. Men who get Viagra prescriptions don’t refill them. They’ve had a couple of bad experiences, so they panic. But then they don’t refill the prescription because they come to realise they’re fine. The problem with ED is that men can think themselves into having it: a few fumbled experiences can, over time, create a cycle of ongoing ED. Is Male Performance Anxiety Common? Sure. I see an increasing number of men under the age of 35 developing performance anxiety. Shortly before the man finds himself in bed with his partner, the anxiety builds. The more he imposes a demand on himself, and the more that demand is not met, the more disturbed he becomes. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Many see it as shaming to seek professional help for ED, so instead use Viagra as a judgment-free fix; it is now available without a prescription in the UK. You find that these guys go on a date with Viagra in their pocket, as an insurance policy. But while carrying Viagra may prevent embarrassment in the bedroom, it can lead to other humiliations. When men feel like sexual failures, it can erode their identity. Men are supposed to always want sex and be ready to go. When you don’t live up to that code, you’re excluded from the men’s club.” In addition, those with ED are sometimes publicly pilloried. When prostate cancer survivor and former US senator Bob Dole fronted commercials for Viagra in the late 1990s, he was mocked mercilessly. How Do You Break The Cycle of Performance Anxiety? How Do You Break The Cycle of Performance Anxiety? This guide explains how to break the cycle of sexual performance anxiety for men. It includes steps that men can take to break this cycle, and also includes tips for women to help their partners overcome this state of mind. How Do You Break The Cycle of Performance Anxiety? Stop Thinking Of Sex As A ‘Performance’ Start thinking about sex as a means of connection, and intimacy and showing your partner you care about them. The more these feelings are present, the greater a sexual experience tends to be for men and women It’s not about pumping your woman as hard as you can for as long as you can. This attitude appears to have spread since the internet gave us easier access to pornography – and it can be particularly harmful to young men who don’t know any better. How Do You Break The Cycle of Performance Anxiety? Don’t Rush There’s far more to sex than penetration. Most women need foreplay before they’re ready to be penetrated. And there are a lot of women who can’t orgasm from penetration. Yet, for whatever reason, a lot of men want to rush straight into it – and panic if their penis doesn’t get hard straight away. Communicate It’s not helpful choosing to ignore your anxiety and erectile dysfunction. What you resist persists, and what you embrace dissolves. It’s not weak to admit that you’re nervous and you’ll need your partner to be patient with you. That’s STRENGTH. Now, your partner can let go of any fears that she was the problem. What’s more, if she cares about you at all, she’ll now hopefully be able to help you realize that there’s no rush and you can relax. Be Present How Do You Break The Cycle of Performance Anxiety? If you catch yourself stuck in your thoughts during sexual activity, take a deep breath and return to the present moment. This isn’t as easy as it sounds – especially if you’re managing performance anxiety – but it’s a skill you can practice and improve over time. Meditation is a great exercise to help you. For more ideas, check out this list of 11 proven ways to empty your mind Take A Break From ‘Hook-Up Culture As long as you’re taking care of your sexual health, there’s nothing so bad about hooking up with someone you just met. It can be a lot of fun. However, if you’re suffering from insecurities about your body image, penis size, or sexual performance, sleeping with people you barely know is unlikely to help. It’s common to feel more anxious sleeping with people you just met. In these types of encounters, there tends to be less focus on intimacy and more on performance. This can fuel the cycle of performance anxiety which is so hard to escape from. To overcome sexual performance activity, you’re probably better off developing a relationship with a partner who you know cares about you. You’ll find it easier to communicate honestly and focus on intimacy with a partner like this, safe in the knowledge that this person likes you for who you are. Stop Judging Yourself In recent times, there appear to have been a lot of false ideas about masculinity spreading through society. The idea that a ‘real man has a gallant sexual history and can plough through women endlessly is certainly an example of toxic masculinity. ‘Real men can suffer from mental health problems like anxiety, trauma, or depression. It is not a reflection of their masculinity at all. So, stop linking your anxiety and erectile dysfunction with your identity as a man. There is no correlation at all. Avoid Porn Pornography doesn’t just give men a false idea of their partner’s expectations. It can also desensitize them to the thrills of real-life sexual activity. There have been several peer-reviewed studies from various academic research institutions linking regular porn use to a decreased sex drive. This can lead to ED symptoms and other mental issues. You’re better off cutting it out of your life altogether. Avoid Drugs And Alcohol Alcohol and other drugs can remove you from your presence, lower your sexual desire and increase anxiety. Worse yet, regardless of these issues, they can unbalance your hormones, making it more difficult to get an erection. That’s the perfect formula for disappointing sexual experiences, then. If you’re trying to overcome sexual performance anxiety, drugs and alcohol aren’t the answer. Reduce Stress In Other Areas Of Your Life Stress has the same physical impact on your body, regardless of what you’re stressed about. This includes muscle tension, high blood pressure, and lower sexual desire, among other things. So, you’re just as likely to suffer from physical symptoms of ED when you’re stressed about work, family, or anything else. By reducing stress in other areas of your life, you’re less likely to suffer from these problems. Of course, sex can be a great stress relief, if it’s not sexual activity that’s worrying you in the first place. Ideally, you’ll be able to put on some romantic music or a sexy movie, become intimate with your partner and witness all your other troubles melt away, at least momentarily. Work On Your Low Self-Esteem Those with low self-esteem may be more likely to fall into the trap of thinking they need to ‘perform’ well to keep a woman interested in them. Those with high self-esteem might be able to relax, knowing they deserve a beautiful woman and that she’ll enjoy spending time with him regardless of his sexual prowess. Does Viagra Work For Performance Anxiety? Viagra might work as a placebo for a man with sexual performance anxiety. If he believes that viagra will solve his erectile dysfunction, he’ll relax and it probably will. However, various men’s health and medical news sources state that if a man is still suffering from the physical symptoms of performance anxiety, Viagra still might not be able to help him. It’s recommended to seek professional medical advice before taking Viagra. In many cases, you’ll only be prescribed it if a doctor believes there are physical causes for your erectile dysfunction. If you admit you experience performance anxiety, you’re more likely to be recommended assistance with your mental health. Commit To A Healthier Lifestyle The following lifestyle changes could lead to naturally stronger erections, which may in turn help to alleviate a man’s sexual performance anxiety. Physical exercise; Eating healthy; Giving up smoking; Better sleep; Meditation; Any other activities linked with improved testosterone. Speak Professional Help From A Therapist Sometimes, sexual performance anxiety is linked to a traumatic event. In this case, it can be particularly difficult to overcome by yourself. If overcoming performance anxiety alone is a struggle, I would urge you to seek professional help from a therapist. A sex therapist specialises in mental blocks linked to sexual problems. However, any accredited therapist will be aware of how to help a client overcome the causes of sexual performance anxiety and prescribe the correct treatment plan. How To Help A Guy With Performance Anxiety How To Help A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Understanding how anxiety works is important in helping someone with it. So, with that in mind, here are a couple of things to think about. A lot of people with anxiety feel like they are dealing with it alone. That might not be the case but when we feel we have support (I get anxiety) we feel stronger. Anxiety is often due to an imbalance of serotonin and dopamine. The issue here is that once the imbalance is too great it is incredibly difficult to bring it back to tolerable levels. Now, I’m not a psychologist or a doctor so all I can do is tell you what works for me. Now how to help? How To Help A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Show him you care and when he begins to freak out, don’t freak out yourself. Stay calm, ask how you can help or if possible say you’ll take care of it. When a person with anxiety has an attack they’ll think no one is helping. Even if you can’t deal with the issue straight away saying you will deal with it will help cut the panic he experiences. Don’t shout. Anxiety is a fight/flight response taken to the extreme. Shouting only exacerbates that response. How To Help A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Touch him…..no, not like that. Grab his hand or put your hand on his shoulder. Doing either of these things can trigger the release of chemicals that calm us…at least enough to start thinking rationally again. One thing that helps me is also a magnesium supplement. This helps regulate our serotonin and dopamine and since we over-clean our food these days we are often deficient in it. If he’s a big caffeine or alcohol user, wean him off it. Both affect your brain chemistry and can provoke or worsen anxiety attacks. For alcohol, the danger isn’t while he’s drinking but the day after when your body goes into a depressive state. With caffeine, he will probably not even realise he’s becoming agitated, but you will. How To Help A Guy With Performance Anxiety. Finally, learn his triggers. These are the things that make him feel a complete loss of control or put him under extreme stress. For me, it’s the thought of my daughter being in danger or me being late (which is socially unacceptable). When I know my daughter is safe or that the person I’m late to visit knows I’ll be late the anxiety dissipates pretty quickly. Teach him to be mindful, it’s a buzzword but it works. Doing things deliberately can increase our control over our brains, which in turn helps reduce anxiety. Performance Anxiety Dating Performance Anxiety Dating. We’ve often heard from men who are dating for marriage and wonder why they become so anxious when they are out with a woman they think might be right for them. Performance Anxiety Dating. The anxiety cuts across many personality lines – it can affect men who often feel sure of themselves, as well as people who are not as self-confident. It seems that when they are dating a woman who has qualities they admire, a personality they like, and whom they are attracted to, they begin to worry that she may not feel the same way as they do. As they worry, their level of anxiety increases. When they are out with the woman they hope to impress, they start to think “too much.” They begin to analyze everything that comes out of their mouth, worrying about what she will think and how she’ll react. Performance Anxiety Dating. Instead of being able to relax and have a normal, flowing conversation, they may freeze up, babble, or keep on talking without letting their date say very much. They feel doubly uncomfortable during the pauses in conversation that normally occur during the early stage of courtship. Performance Anxiety Dating. The worry that “I am afraid I’m going to ruin something good” can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as anxiety keeps them from being themselves. Female Performance Anxiety With New Partner Female Performance Anxiety With New Partner. Women can suffer from performance anxiety too! Especially with a new partner. Here’s how to overcome female performance anxiety! Female Performance Anxiety With New Partner. The anxiety trigger could be that you’re fretting about taking too long to climax, whether you’re doing sex ‘right’, or a lingering issue with your partner. Female Performance Anxiety With New Partner. Throw into the mix decades of internalised misogyny that’s left you convinced your bits are best left covered up, and it’s no wonder you’re freaking out about the proximity of someone else’s face to your clitoris. “The weight of those myths dissociates women from the pleasure they are having. What’s responsible for your pleasure fading is that old killjoy cortisol. Released when you feel anxious, cortisol suppresses the feel-good brain chemicals normally activated during arousal. And even if you go through the right motions, so to speak, a mind in fight-or-flight mode stops registering erotic sensations in the body. Female Performance Anxiety With New Partner. Orgasmic anxiety makes you unable to stay focused on pleasure because you’re constantly distracted by random thoughts. Anxiety is then cemented when your default reaction to an AWOL orgasm is to point the finger back at yourself. Viagra For Performance Anxiety Viagra For Performance Anxiety. Viagra can help sexual performance anxiety but not in all cases. It usually depends on the underlying cause of performance anxiety and its severity. For instance, if performance anxiety is caused by physical erectile dysfunction, then yesViagra should work. Viagra For Performance Anxiety. It will help treat the physical aspects of erectile dysfunction, and therefore help the man regain his erection, restore his confidence and reduce performance anxiety. This study for example showed that men who were treated with 50mg and 100mg doses of sildenafil (the generic version of Viagra), improved their erectile dysfunction and therefore experienced reduced performance anxiety. But is performance anxiety the cause of your psychological erectile dysfunction? Can Viagra help you overcome performance anxiety? Not always. To understand why let’s talk about how erections work first: The first two stages in the male sexual response are: Desire – psychological or physical stimulation causes the man to get sexually excited Arousal – Blood flows into the penis and inflates it. This leads to an erection. Stress and performance anxiety interfere with the desired stage and block arousal. Without arousal, there is no erection. And if there already is an erection, performance anxiety usually triggers the “fight-or-flight” response which draws blood away from the penis to the larger organs which are needed for survival. Erectile dysfunction medications like Viagra work by relaxing the walls of the blood vessels in the penis, making it easier for blood to flow. But your brain needs arousal to trigger the blood flow to the penis in the first place. This is why Viagra helps men with blood flow issues to have erections. But since the problem with performance anxiety is not related to blood flow issues. Viagra For Performance Anxiety. Viagra doesn’t always work for erectile dysfunction that is caused by performance anxiety. Viagra doesn’t cure performance anxiety. Viagra For Performance Anxiety. Do some men wonder what the best ED medication for performance anxiety is? But the truth is that all ED medications (such as Viagra and Cialis) are drugs for the PDE5 inhibitors family, and they all work on the same principles. Husband Has Performance Anxiety Trying To Conceive Husband Has Performance Anxiety Trying To Conceive. It doesn’t matter if you’re a sophomore at a small liberal arts college or a millennial just starting your family planning journey. Everyone experiences some level of stress and anxiety when trying to conceive. It can manifest as male performance anxiety when trying to conceive. For some, this may manifest itself as worries about fertility and the idea of going through the process of getting pregnant again. To overcome male performance anxiety when trying to conceive you should know that it is natural for couples to experience performance anxiety when trying to conceive because it can come with so many implications. But if you are feeling anxious, there are some things you can do to relieve the stress and tension. For example, be open and honest with your partner about what’s bothering you. You should also try doing other intimate things like kissing or having sex in other ways. You could also distract yourself during sex by imagining going out on a date or shopping with friends or watching your favourite TV show. And, if you’re experiencing too much stress, talk to your doctor about the male performance anxiety as this could lead to depression if left untreated. For others, it could be the pressure of having a partner who wants a child more than anything else, and not knowing when they will be able to conceive. If you’re a parent-to-be, it could be the fear of passing on genetic disorders to your children. Or, for ladies, it could be that you’re having trouble falling pregnant. Whatever the cause, you’re reading this because you’re struggling with trying to conceive. Regardless of your unique circumstances, you’re going to have to work through some of your anxiety if you’re going to be able to stay positive and support yourself through the process. That being said, there are plenty of ways that you can overcome the pressure and negative feelings that come with trying to conceive. It’s normal for men to get anxious about the possibility of not being able to conceive. But if that anxiety starts to interfere with your day-to-day life, it might be time to look at some treatment options. Husband Has Performance Anxiety Trying To Conceive. Male performance anxiety is something that can affect a man’s ability to get an erection and, therefore, makes it difficult for them to conceive a child. It can also lead to low libido, erectile dysfunction, and other issues. Some of the causes of male performance anxiety when trying to conceive include: Husband Has Performance Anxiety Trying To Conceive because he has Fear of being seen as a failure Fear of not being able to do it Concerns about their partner’s satisfaction Husband Has Performance Anxiety Trying To Conceive because he has concerns about their abilities Constrained by society’s expectations The first step to overcoming male performance anxiety is to identify the cause. By understanding what is causing your anxiety, you can work on ways to manage it. Some may find that they need to speak with a therapist or doctor while others might try self-help methods like meditation. If A Guy Is Nervous In Bed If A Guy Is Nervous In Bed. It’s not just women who worry about their bodies! Men can feel just as concerned about their looks. Getting naked in front of someone else is always a vulnerable experience, even if you’ve been in a long-term relationship with that person! Most men are particularly fixated on their penis size. The fear of not being big enough is present in their lives from the time they hit puberty and gets reactivated with each new partner. If A Guy Is Nervous In Bed, he is worried about being able to get and stay hard There’s a tremendous amount of pressure that gets placed on a man’s penis during sex. Most couples overemphasize intercourse, which is an activity that relies on a man being able to get and maintain an erection. Lots of men feel expected to get hard at the drop of a hat. Some men get so anxious about not being able to stay hard that they end up sabotaging their ability to get an erection in the first place. Most men have also had the experience of having a partner react negatively to erectile difficulties. I’ve heard stories of partners getting angry, laughing, making hurtful jokes, jumping out of bed in a huff, and even crying. These experiences, of course, only make it more stressful the next time a man has sex. Desiring sex in the first place Just as men feel pressured to get hard immediately, they also feel expected to want sex all the time. They’re supposed to be up for it wherever, whenever, with whomever. The reality is that men’s sex drives are variable. Men aren’t machines. Their sex drives are affected by dynamics like stress, relationship problems, and health issues. I also see a lot of heterosexual clients where the woman is the one with the higher sex drive. This dynamic can create even more pressure for men, who often feel emasculated or ashamed for not having a higher sex drive. If A Guy Is Nervous In Bed, he is worried about lasting long enough Orgasmic timing is always a tricky issue. The biological reality is that men’s bodies are not primed to last very long during intercourse. Most men ejaculate within 2-5 minutes, while most women require 20 minutes to reach orgasm. That’s a huge discrepancy that creates a lot of pressure for men and women alike! Men who have sex with men don’t escape this issue; many men still get embarrassed about not lasting very long in front of their partners. Not orgasming Male anorgasmia isn’t given much press, but there are tons of men who aren’t able to orgasm from partnered sexual activity. When I share this fact with women, the most common reaction is one of complete disbelief. Since this is an issue that doesn’t get discussed openly, men who experience it feel a lot of pressure to fake orgasms or conceal their difficulties from their partners. If A Guy Is Nervous In Bed, he is worried about being able to satisfy their partners Most men aren’t idiots – they can tell when their partner isn’t enjoying themselves. Of course, there are jerks out there who only care about their pleasure, but most men want to know that they can satisfy their partners. The way our society views heterosexual sex, men are supposed to be initiators and leaders of sexual interactions. There’s so much pressure to take charge. Men worry about not having the greatest sexual skills. They stress about not being romantic or seductive enough. With the whole 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon, a lot of my male clients are expressing frustration at how to be “dominant” or “alpha male” in the bedroom. The bottom line is this: we all have stress and anxiety when it comes to sex. No one has it “easy”. The more honest and respectful we can be about our own and our partner’s struggles, the more we can feel like we’re all on the same team in trying to work our way towards happier and healthier sex lives! Erectile Problems New Girlfriend Erectile Problems New Girlfriend. It seems there is a lot of pressure you’re feeling to not just have an erection, but also to please your new girlfriend. Balancing sexual satisfaction, new relationships, and the two of those coming together (no pun intended), maybe a process indeed. And, because of all this pressure, you may be experiencing a form of erectile dysfunction. Learning more and putting a name to what you’re experiencing may be intimidating, but it also allows for more concrete solutions. Erectile Problems New Girlfriend. Your experience isn’t uncommon. Erectile dysfunction can affect people of all ages, and the causes could be both physiological and psychological. While many of the underlying causes that result in ED (diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, heart disease – to name a few) more often occur in older age, research has found that around 26 per cent of new cases of ED happen to those with penises under the age of 40. Additionally, studies have shown that psychological causes can account for up to 20 per cent of ED cases. Erectile Problems New Girlfriend. It may be helpful to consult with a health care provider to determine if your problem with erections is medical. If it is, they can follow up with the appropriate care. They can also provide a prescription for medication that may address the physiological causes of ED. However, it’s worth noting that medications may not treat psychological causes or aid in pleasure. So, what exactly are these psychological causes? If someone experiences stress, anxiety, depression, relationship problems, or performance anxiety, they’re more susceptible to ED. Erectile Problems New Girlfriend. You’ve mentioned that you have no problems with having an erection while masturbating, but you are now with a new girlfriend which provides more grounds for a psychological cause. Performance anxiety, it’s concerned about how well they will perform on a task (in this case sex) and worry about other people’s evaluation of their performance (e.g., their partner). This can lead to being self-conscious, self-critical, worried, tense, and anxious while being sexual; it may also result in other forms of sexual dysfunction besides ED, such as premature ejaculation or difficulty experiencing orgasm. Viagra Not Working For Performance Anxiety Viagra Not Working For Performance Anxiety. Viagra is a medication commonly used to treat erectile dysfunction (ED). However, you may be wondering why it’s not working for you. Here, we’ll cover the side effects of Viagra, why it’s stopped working, and what to do when it’s ineffective. Viagra comes in two strengths: 50mg and 100mg. You can take them orally up to four hours before sexual intercourse. Viagra increases the blood flow to the penis by relaxing the nerves and muscles in the penis, allowing more blood to enter the corpus cavernosum, resulting in an erection. How to get better results with Viagra Viagra Not Working For Performance Anxiety. Some factors can have an impact on the effectiveness of Viagra. You can regulate some of them to ensure the best results. The first thing you can do is to avoid eating a large or high-fat meal or consuming alcohol before taking it since that can affect the absorption of Viagra into the bloodstream. Additionally, you should never expect Viagra to work directly after taking it. Viagra Not Working For Performance Anxiety. It may take 30–60 minutes for Viagra to be effective, so taking the pill too close to sexual intercourse will only end in disappointment. Viagra Not Working For Performance Anxiety. For maximum effect, it is recommended that you take Viagra around an hour before sexual intercourse. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety Conclusion Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety Conclusion. If you are dating a guy with performance anxiety, the best thing you can do is to communicate with him without being judgemental. Dating A Guy With Performance Anxiety Conclusion. Encourage him to see a therapist with whom he can share his struggles. 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