RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING FOR YOUNG COUPLES

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples. If you and your partner keep getting into the same arguments, it may be time to consider couple’s counselling. Couples counselling, once thought to be a last-ditch attempt to save a relationship, has grown in popularity, particularly among millennials and Gen Zers, as a way to improve relationships and communication.

 

According to a study, 37% of Gen Zers and 35% of millennials seek personal counselling. Relationship Counselling For Young Couples is being used as a maintenance step in relationships rather than only being attended to in a crisis as younger generations become more open about how they view various mental health issues.

 

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples is a form of therapy that can help couples improve communication, resolve issues that interfere with being part of a healthy relationship, and reignite the spark that first drew you to your partner. But how do you know when to seek couples therapy? There are a few telltale signs:

 

• Communication is mostly negative, or communication style leads to arguments and confusion
• Lacking intimacy
• Lies, being deceitful, or keeping secrets
• You see your partner as being antagonistic
• Infidelity
• You’re living the same argument time and time again
• You feel like your relationship is capable of “more” or something’s missing
• Indifference

 

Most of these signs are self-explanatory, but indifference may need a little more exploration. Feeling indifferent toward your partner can come across in several ways:

 

• Having a general disinterest in your partner’s life
• Not caring when you don’t know where your partner is
• A struggling intimate life doesn’t bother you
• Making no effort to spend time together
• Not caring if your partner was or could be unfaithful
• Having no remorse, empathy, or respect for your partner’s feelings

 

While many of these signs may sound like the end of the relationship is near, this isn’t true if both parties feel like the relationship is worth saving. Speaking with a trusted relationship counsellor can help you overcome the negating factors affecting your relationship.

 

The goal of Relationship Counselling For Young Couples is to increase your knowledge about yourself, your partner, and the interaction that goes on between you. Couples therapy becomes most effective when you incorporate new thoughts and ideas into the interactions between you and your partner that break old ineffective patterns and routines.

 

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples. When seeking therapy for relationship issues, both you and your partner need to be open to discussing a few important concepts for therapy to be effective:

 

The ideal life you want to have together

The type of partner you aspire to be to have the ideal life/relationship you want

What’s stopping you from being the type of partner you aspire to be

The knowledge and skills to do everything above

 

And there are some things you’re going to need for sustained improvement in your relationship:

 

• A concrete vision of the life you wish to build together
• The right skills and attitudes for working as a team
• Motivation
• Persistence
• Patience
• Time for reviewing your progress

 

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples. Before each session, both you and your partner should individually take time to reflect on what your end objectives are and what it’s going to take to get you there. That might reflect on the kind of relationship you’re looking for or the type of person you’re aiming to become so you can achieve your ideal relationship.

Are We Too Young For Couples Therapy?

Are We Too Young For Couples Therapy? Many times couples wonder if it’s too early in their relationship for couples counseling.  Or they feel like failures for coming in months after they’ve started dating.  My answer is always “The Earlier the Better!”

 

The longer you wait after discovering problems in the relationship because you both feel you are too young for therapy, the more time and opportunity you have to create bad habits, create distance and resentment between you both, and start developing feelings of hopelessness.

 

Reasons Why It’s Never Too Early in a Relationship to go to Couples Counselling or You Are Never Too Young

 

1. Nip problems in the bud.

 

Are We Too Young For Couples Therapy? One of the reasons we encourage couples to come into couples counselling early is that we can stop problems before they become habitual problems. If you have been automatically responding to your partner for 5, 10, or 15 or more years in an ineffective way, it is That much harder to turn it around.

 

It’s not impossible with the right degree of self-awareness, commitment, and skills. But, if you notice the problems early and make a concerted effort to replace them with more effective behaviours, you will be on the right track to building a loving, intimate relationship.

 

2. Learn skills that you have never been taught.

 

Are We Too Young For Couples Therapy? There are no classes in middle or high school that teach you how to be in a relationship, what to expect, how to manage conflict, or how to communicate clearly.

 

Many times we fumble through relationships, read false and misleading sex and relationship advice, or look to our friends for advice, who are just as confused as us!  Couples counselling and marriage therapy can help you build valuable relationship skills and become effective partners.

 

3. Dispel unproductive relationship myths.

 

Are We Too Young For Couples Therapy? Society teaches us a number of totally false and harmful things about relationships like:

 

• If you fight your relationship is doomed.
• If you have sexual problems then there must be relationship problems.
• If your partner doesn’t automatically know what you want or need then they must not love you (no one is psychic. YES! You HAVE to be clear and direct with your needs and desires).
• If a woman doesn’t orgasm with penis and vagina intercourse then there is something wrong with her, or him, or both of them (ack, MYTH BUSTER: most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm).
• Unfortunately, these myths are confusing, and misleading and lead to unnecessary heartbreak.

 

4. Identity, address and resolve deal-breakers early on.

 

Are We Too Young For Couples Therapy? Deal breakers are things that could potentially cause problems in the relationship if not dealt with effectively between the partners. These could be things like having kids or not. If partners disagree on having kids or not, that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with their relationship or that they are not compatible.

 

Are We Too Young For Couples Therapy? What it does mean is that they will need to work through this difference and negotiate an outcome that works for both of them. Many couples notice a potential deal breaker early on and postpone addressing it until they are married, but then it matters even more that they can work it through.

 

There is more at stake now! Other deal breakers can be religious differences, lifestyle differences, where they want to live, navigating open versus monogamous relationships, etc.

 

5. Understand and get comfortable with the service of couples counselling.

 

Are We Too Young For Couples Therapy? We are always so hopeful and confident in the future of their relationship when a couple comes in early, addresses and resolves a problem, or learns relationship skills that completely turn their relationship around and help them understand the purpose and effectiveness of couples counselling.

What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems?

What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? Conflict is a part of relationships. It’s simply that since no two people are the same, you won’t see the world the same way. That’s why there are many, many different couples counseling techniques.

 

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples is an important tool if those conflicts are starting to jeopardize the relationship as a whole. An occasional argument is probably healthy, but if it’s all the time, it’s a source of stress and unhappiness.

 

Conflict cannot always be avoided in relationships because no two people are exactly alike, so learning how to deal with conflict ensures a successful and healthy union.

 

Relationship challenges arise in different ways, and being able to communicate with your partner is an integral part of a healthy relationship. Functional communication leads to better understanding between you and your partner, and understanding is the key to a successful union.

 

What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? An introduction to the different forms of therapy will guide your decision on which type of marriage counselling best suits your needs.

 

1. Gottman Method

 

What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? Gottman Method Couples Therapy has the benefit of three decades of research and practice in clinical settings with more than three thousand couples.

 

The Gottman Method uses couples counseling techniques to increase affection, closeness, and respect. These techniques help you resolve conflict when you feel like you’re at an impasse. You and your partner learn to understand one another and to discuss problems calmly.

 

The Gottman Method of couples counselling shows you how to build love maps, which help you learn about your partner’s psychological world by mapping your partner’s worries, stresses, joys, hopes, and history.

 

Fondness and admiration are strengthened by expressing respect and appreciation for each other. This is a method of couples therapy that allows you to state your needs, and it stresses conflict management rather than conflict resolution. You and your partner learn to speak honestly about your aspirations and convictions. Trust and commitment to a lifelong relationship are reinforced.

 

2. Narrative Therapy

 

What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? One of the couples counselling techniques, narrative therapy, seeks to separate the problem from the person by externalizing issues of concern. A therapist will ask you to describe your problems in narrative form, and then help you to rewrite the negative parts of the story.

 

By acknowledging a problem doesn’t define a person but is something a person has, you gain a new perspective on the situation. Narrative therapy helps you view your problem from different angles: culturally, politically, and socially. By stating negative issues in the narrative form, you become dynamic in the story.

 

The dynamic can change the story. Narrative therapy allows you to explore the past to bring to light negativities that otherwise remain hidden. By exploring conceptions and behaviours, you gain insight into facts that have been troubling you and your partner. Thus, you find new ways to deal with your problems, effectively rewriting the narrative of your relationship.

 

3. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

 

Emotionally focused therapy was developed by Dr. Susan Johnson. This type of marriage counselling was first developed for couples, but it has proven useful for family counselling as well.

 

What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? Dr. Johnson’s method is used worldwide in hospitals, clinics, private practices, and training centers. Although emotionally focused therapy is helpful in most situations, it especially should be considered if depression is a suspected culprit of relationship woes.

 

Typically a short-term approach, emotionally focused therapy has three main goals. It encourages the expansion and reorganization of key emotional responses. It seeks to secure a tight bond between you and your partner.

 

The therapy repositions each partner’s stance during interactions and creates new, beneficial interactions in your partnership. Emotionally focused therapy has been found to move 70 to 75% of relationships from a troubled state to a state of recovery. Significant improvement has been realized for 90% of couples using this therapy.

 

4. Imago Relationship Therapy

 

What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? Imago Relationship Therapy combines spiritual and behavioural couples counseling techniques with western psychological techniques of therapy to expose unconscious components that help you choose your mate.

 

In this way, you and your partner are equipped to relate to each other in positive, caring ways. The therapist views the couple’s conflict as a solution to the situation rather than the problem. Examination of the conflict is the key to finding a solution to disharmony.

 

Emotional discord in a relationship is often expressed as dissatisfaction, criticism, or anger. This forces you to seek comfort from people outside your relationship. Imago Relationship Therapy examines the root of negative emotions and behaviours to find the cause of severe communication between you and your partner.

 

Acknowledgment that each partner is communicating differently helps resolves problems. Partners learn that disagreements aren’t signs of love loss but are normal occurrences in relationships that can be resolved through communication.

 

5. Cognitive-behavioural therapy

 

Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is a type of talk therapy that aims to challenge cognitive distortions present in your thinking and find better ways to cope and manage your stress through problem-solving. It’s predicated on the idea that your thoughts create your reality, so you can shift them to feel better.

 

What Type Of Therapy Is Best For Relationship Problems? CBT tends to focus on changing behaviours, usually maladaptive behaviors. Some of their techniques include identifying the factors that contribute to the maladaptive behaviors to remove them, and ‘learning’ new ones.

 

It aims to modify maladaptive behaviors such as passive-aggressiveness, withdrawal, avoidance, daydreaming, etc., by replacing them with healthier and constructive ways of coping.

 

CBT is a time-based intervention and can last between 12 and 20 sessions for those with depression, anxiety, somatic issues, eating disorders, substance abuse problems, relationship issues, and severe mental illnesses.

 

A CBT therapist will teach you constructive strategies to break you out of your negative thought patterns and thus deal with your problems productively. Behavioural therapy emphasizes the use of a host of techniques to be assertive, positively manage stress, and build confidence and resilience.

 

What Can Therapy Help With?

 

Common relationship problems seem to be in all relationships. While each couple is different, the root of the problems falls into one of these common relationship problems (in no specific order at all).

 

1. Negative Communication

 

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples. It’s hard to get back positive communication once it seems to have disappeared from your relationship. Negative communication can include anything that leaves one partner feeling depressed, insecure, and disregarded.

 

Negative communication is more than just talking. It can be heard in the tone of voice seen in nonverbal ways such as not making eye contact or looking at the phone “while listening”

 

Dr. John Gottman has studied communication in relationships and has discovered 4 deadly ways to communicate. Dr. Gottman calls these four ways to communicate the Four Horseman of the Relationship Apocalypse.

 

Solution

 

• Make a ritual as a couple. Have coffee every morning, or tea every night after the kids are in bed. Take 10 to 15 minutes for each partner to check in with each other and talk about their day. This is not about times to go over tomorrow’s schedule, but times to just connect and share thoughts, and feelings.
• Scheduled family meetings This can be with the kids and adults. This is where you have time to talk about the weekly schedule, budget, chores, etc. Setting time aside to talk specifically about “life” puts everyone on the same page.
• Create rules for fighting You know your partner better than anyone. What are off limits during a fight, what do you need from each other? A therapist will help you develop rules for you each to follow during a fight.

 

2. Affairs and Infidelity

 

Maybe both partners are thinking of having an affair or one partner has had an affair. It is not impossible to rebuild a relationship after a breach of trust. However, it does take a lot of work. Both partners must be committed to coming to therapy, and being open and honest inside and outside of the therapy office.

 

In Relationship Counselling For Young Couples, we use the latest reaches from emotionally focused therapy and the Gottman Approach. These have some to get to the bottom of why the affair happened, and how to change the relationship so it never happened again.

 

We work with our clients to understand their emotional needs that have, so their emotional needs can be healed and true repairing can take place. If you have discovered an affair seek out a therapist who uses emotionally focused therapy.

 

Solution

 

• Be consistent Trust is built by doing the same thing for a long time
• Don’t lie
• Be fair If the hurt partner needs space let them have it if they want closeness, be there for them. Learning to be emotionally present is the best way to heal
• Ask your partner what needs they need to be met
• Listen to what they are asking from you

 

3. Alone Together

 

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples. Sometimes couples become more like roommates than intimate partners. This does not mean that any one person is doing something wrong, and it doesn’t mean that you have to start to do everything together.

 

Sometimes the distance that forms is because “life” just got in the way. From kids to careers, to social media, and video games, a number of things can distract you over time. Maybe you feel like you have lost the passion that once brought you together.

 

Luckily you can rebuild your friendship, and intimacy with your partner once you both focus on what is needed from each other.

 

Solution

 

• Go on a date – Both partners can plan a date night. This should be done at least one time a month. Do something new that you haven’t done in a while. Take turns planning the date night.
• While on the date talk about something different. Google conversation started or use something like Table Topics (Click here to see them on amazon) to guide the conversation. Stay away from talking about day to day life issues, while important the goal here is to re-connect.
• Create a ritual From morning coffee to evening tea, take 10 to 15 minutes and talk to each other about your day. Share your feelings and thoughts. Do not problem solve for each other your goal is to just try to listen and feel connected to each other.

 

4. Unsolvable Problems

 

Dr. John Gottman says in his book 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work says that 69% of problems in relationships are not solvable. Becoming aware of the differences between solvable and unsolvable problems is key to learning how to lower conflict in relationships. We share with our clients it’s not about always solving every problem, it’s how you talk about the problem.

 

Solution

 

• Review the negative communication antidotes
• Learn to tread lightly when you discovered what unsolvable problems are examples might include stepchildren, household chores, pet peeves, and in-laws.

 

5. You Are Not On Your Partner’s Side

 

You roll your eyes, you think you are a better, smarter, or all around better person than your partner. You don’t care about their opinion and they act the same way about you. You always tell them to do something (or everything) differently. Feeling like you do not have the support of your partner can destroy trust and intimacy.

 

Solution

 

• Learn to listen Sometimes it’s not about solving problems but about hearing what the issue is. I think of an example of the boxing ring, your partner is out there fighting and you’re in the corner encouraging them and yelling at them to keep up the good fight. It’s not about solving the problem, or telling them how to hit it’s about encouraging them to keep going.
• Ask the question Do you want me to help you solve this or do you just need my support right now?

 

6. Intimacy Issues

 

Lack of sex, not speaking the same love langue, and the most popular “life gets in the way.”

Sex is different from intimacy. Developing routines that focus on developing intimacy is key. How do you say goodbye and hello to each other? Do you look each other in the eyes?

 

Do you have time for sexual intimate moments such as a massage or showering together? Taking time to focus on these rituals sometimes does not feel natural like when you first got together but is just as important as spending time for anything else in your life.

 

Solution

 

Plan time for non-sexual intimacy from holding hands, to hugging and kissing hello and goodbye, to cuddling and looking each other in the eye.

 

7. You Don’t Feel Attracted To Your Partner

 

You no longer feel physical excitement or pleasure when you touch your partner. Maybe you think it’s the weight you or they have gained, your age, or hormones. Your lack of attraction to your partner could be a symptom of something else on this list.

 

Solution

 

• Plan to make a date night
• Learn what turns each other on

 

 

8. Lack Of Boundaries

 

You can’t change your partner (this goes back to the unsolvable problems). From their beliefs to personality, often time you might overstep someone’s boundaries without knowing. This type of control can create distance, and push your partner away from you. Maybe you are trying to offer suggestions to help your partner become a better person, but it seems to backfire.

 

9. Money

 

While there is no right or wrong way to deal with money in your relationship it can be big stress that drives distance. Discussing finances with your spouse can be stressful and tense especially if you and your partner view money differently.

 

Learning to improve communication and also learning how you can be on the same page with money is important.

 

Solution

 

• Must be honest about your finical situation. This means you cannot hide income or debt from each other.
• Develop both short-term and long-term goals
• Both partners must actively participate in the conversation

Can Relationship Counselling Save A Relationship?

Can Relationship Counselling Save A Relationship? There is no shame in going to couples therapy. It doesn’t mean you and your partner are failing or that you’re weak.

 

In fact, it means the opposite. Seeking Relationship Counselling For Young Couples shows that you and your partner are willing to fight for what you have. It means you’re not people who simply throw in the towel when things get tough – it’s admirable.

 

Studies show that 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. If you’re looking at relationships in general, the breakup rate is much higher.

 

In some cases, the people in the relationship shouldn’t be together, and breaking up is a good thing. However, there are tons of couples that could be truly happy and content if they only learned how to work through their issues.

 

The problem is, most people don’t know how to communicate effectively and fairly. This is where couples therapy comes in. It can open a door to reconciliation.

 

But Can Relationship Counselling Save A Relationship? Absolutely, it can.

 

If you and your partner are struggling to get along, keep reading for everything you need to know about how couples counselling can help.

 

1. Get On the Same Team With Your Partner

 

Let’s make one thing clear from the start. When going to a couples counsellor, you’re not the client, you and your partner together are the client.

 

Many people walk into couples therapy thinking that they’re going to gain an ally, someone to side with them. However, a therapist’s job isn’t to take sides, it’s to provide tools and guidance for couples to resolve their issues.

 

Are they a mediator? Yes, and they will point out when someone is being selfish or unfair. However, that doesn’t mean they’re there to side with you or your partner.

 

If you’re investing in couples therapy, approach each session as an opportunity to team up with your significant other, and reignite your partnership.

 

2. Learn Self-Awareness and Become Open to Growth

 

A high level of self-awareness is vital in any successful relationship – intimate, professional, or otherwise. We must know how we come off to people. We must also be aware of our faults.

 

Can Relationship Counselling Save A Relationship? A couples therapist can help each partner become more aware of their negative habits, actions, and thought patterns. Many fights, for example, occur because someone takes an innocent comment personally. On the flip side, other fights begin because a partner is being insensitive.

 

3. Learn How to Communicate With One Another

 

Poor communication is one of the leading causes of all fights, breakups, and divorces. Humans are the most evolved species on the planet, capable of communicating thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Yet, many of us rarely do.

 

We are either too shy, proud, stubborn, or self-pitying to say how we feel. You must be able to speak your truth, rather than assuming your partner is a mind-reader. They may get a feeling that you’re upset, but they can’t know unless you tell them.

 

The other side of this coin is being a good listener. People need to feel comfortable opening up to their partners in a relationship. If they’re punished every time they share their feelings, they’ll close up and become resentful.

 

Can Relationship Counselling Save A Relationship? Couples therapy will teach you and your partner how to effectively communicate and listen to one another.

 

4. Learn How to Fight Fairly

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples is a good solution for people who tend to get into explosive arguments or long stand-offs. Many couples break up because they never teach themselves how to fight fairly.

 

As conflicts escalate, people become more aggressive. They start using harsher language and being less concerned with how the other person is feeling.

 

People also tend to become manipulative and passive-aggressive. Another common tactic is trying to make the other person feel guilty.

 

Can Relationship Counselling Save A Relationship? Marriage counselling or couples therapy gives you and your partner the tools to fight more fairly. Fighting and arguing responsibly will lead to conflict resolution, rather than more conflict.

 

This means not interrupting one another, not being inflammatory, and being able to admit when you’re wrong.

 

5. Learn to Speak Each Other’s Love Language

 

People often wonder what to talk about in therapy.

 

A common issue in long-term relationships is the eventual ebb of perceived love and affection, both physical and emotional. We feel like we’re not being taken care of as if our partner no longer speaks our “love language.”

 

However, everyone’s love language is different. Couples therapy teaches people how to recognise, read, and speak their partner’s love language.

 

For example, most men crave respect and admiration. Whereas, most women desire romance and physical affection.

 

Some people appreciate small, thoughtful gifts. Others crave acts of kindness.

 

Can Relationship Counselling Save A Relationship? Use couples counselling to better understand what makes your partner feel loved and appreciated. Just as importantly, help them understand your love language.

 

6. Learn How to Compromise and Make Positive Changes

 

No matter what type of couple you are, you’ll need to learn the art of compromise if you intend to find happiness. No two people can form a long-lasting, committed relationship without making small changes.

 

You shouldn’t change who you are on a fundamental level, but you should make concessions if it’s for the betterment of your relationship. For example, if you love playing video games, that’s okay. However, if you’re playing video games so much that your spouse is feeling neglected, that’s something you can compromise on.

 

Can Relationship Counselling Save A Relationship? Couples therapy is all about identifying the patterns and habits that are obstructing the success of your relationship. Then, working with the counselor, you and your partner can figure out fair and effective compromises.

 

It’s important to note that if only one partner is making compromises or changes, something isn’t right. Both people need to invest equally in the overall happiness and balance in the relationship.

 

7. Learn How to Rekindle Intimacy and Affection

 

Finally, as noted earlier, the longer some couples stay together, the less affectionate they are with one another. It starts slowly but can end disastrously.

 

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples can help you and your partner rekindle the physical affection and romance you once had. It’s all about making an effort, on both sides.

 

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples can open the door to a new discussion about intimacy. This pertains to the bedroom and your sexual relationship, yes, but there’s more to it than that.

 

Physical affection and intimacy also include things like massages, hugging, kissing, cuddling, and all the other types of physical connection we crave from our partner. A couples therapist can help you and your partner rediscover that part of your relationship.

Can You See A Relationship Counsellor On Your Own?

Can You See A Relationship Counsellor On Your Own? The trend of seeking support from an outside professional when your relationship is in crisis is a relatively new one. Historically, marital woes have been navigated behind closed doors. And when counsel was sought, it was traditionally from family, friends, and pastors, rather than trained professionals.

 

Can You See A Relationship Counsellor On Your Own? Understandably, flagging that your relationship is in trouble can be scary, and in turn, it can result in one or both of you feeling hesitant (or even resistant) to make a change.

 

If this is you, and your partner or spouse is reluctant to attend couples therapy, know that you are not alone. Also, know that your partner’s hesitance is likely more a reflection of their fears than it is of their feelings about your relationship.

 

Can You See A Relationship Counsellor On Your Own? In fact, the best thing you can do is to avoid taking their reluctance personally. Instead, consider the following points when trying to “get to the heart of the matter” and choose which steps to take next.

 

Can You See A Relationship Counsellor On Your Own? Reading meaning into our partner’s stance, it can be tempting to interpret it as rejection, panic, and become reactive. After all, shouldn’t they want to work on the relationship? And if they don’t, what good can come out of forcing their arm?

 

Can You See A Relationship Counsellor On Your Own? While it’s true nobody responds well to ultimatums, there are a couple of ways to handle a hesitant partner. First, look at the degree of ambivalence or reluctance that your partner is communicating to you.

 

Can You See A Relationship Counsellor On Your Own? More often than not relationships are balanced out (and sometimes challenged) by different levels of desire. Often, one partner wants to talk and process their feelings, while the other partner prefers just to move past things and not dwell, or in more extreme cases, stonewall or avoid.

 

Likewise, one partner is often the initiator of sex or activities, while the other partner takes on a more passive role. Sound familiar?

 

Can You See A Relationship Counsellor On Your Own? This type of dynamic is referred to as a “desire discrepancy,” and all relationships have them. So if you find yourself being the one who desires couples therapy more, understand that this is entirely normal.

How Do You Fix A Broken Relationship?

How Do You Fix A Broken Relationship? Going through a storm is a part of being in a relationship. But, sometimes, it can feel like the damage done to your “ship” is too big to get over. You wonder how to fix a broken relationship and if it is possible at all.

 

You need to understand that you are strong, and the pain you feel right now will gradually fade. But you also need to decide if the relationship is worth salvaging. If you want to save the special bond you share with your partner, despite the downs, there are some tips you can follow. Scroll down to check these suggestions to help you fix your relationship and get back stronger together.

 

How Do You Fix A Broken Relationship?

 

1. Return To Where You Started

 

Re-evaluate what brought the two of you together. What you loved about each other and the nuances that seemed cute then but irritate you now. There were reasons for loving your partner, so dive deep into your heart and remind yourself about those.

 

2. Communicate Openly

 

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship with fewer chances of misunderstanding. Keeping quiet about certain things leads to an endless blame game in our minds. Do not assume your partner understands everything you are feeling. Something said casually or in humor may have hurt you, and your partner may have no clue about it.

 

How Do You Fix A Broken Relationship? Communicate openly and tell your partner what hurt you instead of keeping it bottled inside and becoming bitter about it. If something about your partner is bothering you, like their smoking habit or spendthrift nature, do not brush things under the carpet. Tell them what is bothering you and try to find a solution together.

 

3. Eliminate External Factors

 

Sometimes, it is hard to realize that issues are building between partners due to a third person or thing. Find out who the bad apple is and be open with each other – make sure no one is filling the other’s ears. Do not let external factors be the cause of any mistrust or bad blood. Remove anyone with negative energy that comes between you both.

 

4. Learn To Forgive

 

How Do You Fix A Broken Relationship? Everyone makes mistakes, and if your partner is regretful of their actions, it is worthwhile to forgive them. Forgiveness is a way to detach from the pain and start afresh on a positive note. Make sure your partner is genuinely sorry and does not intend to repeat the mistake.

 

Take the higher ground and forgive to move forward in the relationship. Do not let the past hold you back.

 

5. Set Boundaries

 

Every relationship is based on mutual understanding and compromise. If rules need to be set, they should be followed by both of you. For instance, if you want your partner to spend Sunday afternoons with you, make sure you do not have other plans either. If you want your partner to quit smoking, you too abide by the rule. Play a fair game – rules apply to both.

 

6. Share Something Special

 

If your relationship is in troubled waters, it is time to take the anchor. Plan something special for your partner. Spend quality time doing something fun like you used to do before.

 

How Do You Fix A Broken Relationship? Try to shut out your problems for a while and be like old times. This is an excellent way to reignite a dimming fire, remember the good times, and express how much the relationship means to you.

 

7. Accept Your Partner Wholly

 

When you get into a relationship, you love the person for who he/she is, not for who you want them to be. So, learn to accept the little nuances. Not accepting all the facets of your partner will eventually lead to frustration and resentment. Try to overlook the small things and communicate about the big things.

 

8. Let It Be Fluid

 

How Do You Fix A Broken Relationship? Couples often split because they get very rigid and polarised about their ideas. It becomes a case of ‘my way or the highway.’ This is very unhealthy as you are not open to any views or ways of your partner.

 

Be fluid and open to suggestions and ideas from the other side. Respect what your partner says, feels, and does, and you will be respected back.

 

9. Remember, The Honeymoon Period Does Not Last Forever!

 

Initially, everyone puts their best foot forward in a relationship. We put on our best clothes and our best behavior. But with time, you see a shift in character and all the realities. Be open to understanding that no one is perfect. Probably, your partner also sees things in you that are new. Make a sincere effort to adjust to each other instead of giving up so quickly.

 

10. Show Some Interest

 

As the relationship gets older, our partner may take things for granted. We put the relationship in auto-mode, expecting the passion to remain the same even though the enthusiasm is missing.

 

How Do You Fix A Broken Relationship? Show interest in your partner. Ask them about how the day was or what happened at work. Ask how the ballet lesson or the golf practice went. Keep your interest and communication alive. Silence can be a sign of comfort, but it can also be deafening.

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples Conclusion

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples Conclusion. Truth be told, the effectiveness of marriage counseling is directly related to the motivation level of both partners and timing. For some couples, marriage counselling is divorce counselling because they’ve already thrown in the towel.

 

For instance, one or both partners may have already decided to end the marriage and he/she uses the counseling as a way to announce this to their partner. Sometimes, the problems in a marriage can be too ingrained and longstanding for the counseling to be effective. For others, they don’t honestly share their concerns with the therapist.

 

Relationship Counselling For Young Couples Conclusion. Further, it’s important to choose a therapist who has experience working with couples and who is a good fit for both you and your partner. If both partners don’t feel comfortable with the therapist, this can negatively impact progress; or one person may prematurely drop out.

Further reading

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