Table of Contents hide

1.1 What Happens When You Are In Love With A Narcissist?

1.2 Why Did I Fall In Love With A Narcissist?

1.3 Can A Narcissist Ever Truly Love Someone?

1.4 How Do You Know If A Narcissist Loves You?

1.5 I Was In Love With A Narcissist Conclusion

I Was In Love With A Narcissist

I was in love with a narcissist. You can’t tell the heart whom to love. People are often powerless when it comes to love which is probably why being ‘swept off your feet’ and ‘head over heels’ are used to connote the feeling people have for their romantic partner or someone they are deeply attracted to at the beginning of their relationship because they lack words to describe the feeling.

When you say “I was in love with a narcissist” it is important to avoid regrets or beating yourself up as narcissists often use love bombing to get people to love them. They make you feel good about yourself, you feel loved, they validate you, acknowledge you and so alive and floating in the skies and when you are entrapped, then they begin to show you who they truly are.

Saying I was in love with a narcissist is acknowledging that you deserve better because being in love with a narcissist can be really hard and hurtful as they focus solely on themselves, wanting you to always meet their needs and acknowledge their ad when they do not get their way, they get really mad all the while not asking about your needs.

When your relationship ends and you say, I was in love with a narcissist, you may need to seek counselling to help you truly heal from all the pain you may have been through. Love should not hurt and you should know that you deserve better. Many people who dated narcissists often find that such relationships may affect them because most narcissists are abusive in relationships.

Now, this abuse may not be physically alone, it could also be emotional which could also affect your mental health. If you say I was in love with a narcissist, then chances are you experienced abuse of some sort. No one should remain in abusive relationships as they have the power to affect your physical, mental and emotional health negatively.

When someone says I was in love with a narcissist they want you to understand what the deal is with being in love with one. So let us discuss a little about who a narcissist is. A narcissist is someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. They are self-involved and self-absorbed people with an exaggerated sense of self, regardless of their reality. They are mostly self-centred.

So when you hear someone say “I was in love with a narcissist” you should know that it was no smooth sail as they ate known to think too highly of themselves and make everything about them as though the world revolves around them, constantly seeking attention and praises from people around them. They usually are not what they think of themselves.

When someone says I was in love with a narcissist, it means that they were in love with someone who pretends to be confident but has a very fragile ego deep inside and cannot handle criticism of any form. It means they were in love with someone who has an overwhelming sense of self, while constantly seeking their attention.

Saying I was in love with a narcissist means such a person was in love with someone who not only constantly seeks attention but also seeks care and affection which makes them exhibit traits that make life hard and frustrating for them and the people around them as they can exhibit nasty attitudes when they do not get what they want.

Hearing someone say I was in love with a narcissist is hearing them say they were in love with someone who considered themselves to be superior and treated them badly and took advantage of them in order to get their way. They were in love with someone who was arrogant and had issues with listening to concerns they raised and their relationship was most troublesome.

If someone says, I was in love with a narcissist, they are saying they were in love with an inflated sense of self-importance. They were in love with a master manipulator who loves to objectify themselves and has zero empathy for the feelings of others. They were in love with someone who exploited them and was vindictive, selfish, aggressive, cold and arrogant.

Saying I was in love with a narcissist is saying you were in love with someone who was extremely controlling. Narcissists go out of their way to ensure that they suck every iota of self-esteem, security and confidence their partners have as they feel in control while doing this. They can be very cold emotionally and gaslight their partners.

Saying I was in love with a narcissist is saying you were in love with a controlling and emotionally distant or cold partner who blamed you for every wrong happening in your relationship and constantly projected their insecurities onto you. Being with a narcissist can really hurt you mentally as they try to destroy your self-esteem so that they have you under their control.

When someone says I was in love with a narcissist, they mean they were in love with a dangerous person. Narcissists can be abusive in relationships especially when things are not going their way. They are love bombers are gaslighters, who make you feel comfortable at first and then when you are, the devaluing starts.

So when someone says I was in love with a narcissist, they are telling you that they fell for someone with a strong sense of entitlement, one who takes and never gives. Narcissists often have little regard for other people, as they always feel they are superior to all others and want to be treated in a like manner and not care about how their actions may be affecting others.

What Happens When You Are In Love With A Narcissist?

What happens when you are in love with a narcissist? Narcissists are said to be love bombers who when you meet will say all the right things, make you feel very special, acknowledge and validate you, your emotions and your needs and practically sweep you off your feet with their kindness when they have you, you begin to see them for who they truly are.

What happens when you are in love with a narcissist? Many people can spot the sleekness of narcissists while others may not and those who do not may be in a for a rude awakening. Imagine meeting someone who you consider to be perfect, who makes you feel so special only to realise that they are not who you thought and it was only a love bombing.

So let us look at what happens when you are in love with a narcissist. A relationship with a narcissist can be a very bumpy one because you will be in a relationship with someone who has zero empathy and is non-character about your needs but expects that you meet up with whatsoever demands they may have and this can make you feel neglected and frustrated.

You will find yourself in a relationship that is symbiotic where the narcissist feeds off your kindness. Most narcissists now begin to show their ugly selves when their partner shows them kindness and is the nurturing party in the relationship, providing them with a sense of belonging and safety or security. Being in love with a narcissist is being in love with someone who cannot meet your emotional needs.

Another thing to note when it comes to what happens when you are in love with a narcissist is that it will not be a fun ride, you need to fasten your seat belt as you may experience frequent explosions of emotions, especially when things are not going their way. They may become abusive and traumatise you.

Falling in love with a narcissist means you are ready to alter your personality to their taste as they will not have it any other way which may be very harmful to your self-esteem and you will be dealing with having to constantly fit into their life and match their tastes which are considered an unhealthy relationship trait.

You will be with a partner who believes ‘there are many fishes in the river’ which means they have other options and this will make them treat you in ways that may be undeserving and despite this, some may stay with them because they find the narcissist super attractive and nothing else counts and they keep being emotionally battered.

Being in love with a narcissist can cause you agony and despite that, you may still find it hard to leave because you cannot imagine living life without them, and you subject yourself to a never-ending demand for unwavering attention, demand to be revered and admired and constant exaggeration of your flaws and the feeling of being inferior to your narcissistic partner.

Having a partner who constantly manipulates to have their way and even in times when you feel like you’ve had enough, they act as if they love you, treat you right long enough to get you comfortable again and then the devaluing starts again is an unhealthy way to go and you may be better off without such a relationship as it will leave you feeling drained and mistreated.

Many times, when a narcissist knows you are in love with them, they may start to look for ways to exploit you. They feel a sort of relief because they do not need to pretend to be nice anymore which was probably an exhausting time for them and feel all the better about themselves because they now have control over you and can start making endless demands of you.

Narcissists often see your expression of love for them as a weakness that they will exploit and use to their advantage. They see the love you have for them as you giving them the power to control you and exploit your feelings to their own benefit. They may begin to place unnecessary demands of admiration, attention, a change in your personality to fit their taste and so on.

Expressing your love for a narcissist is like beating the drums for the games to begin in their head. It can be really exhausting to be in such a relationship and you may often hear your family, friends or even your therapist advising you to leave him because they know you deserve so much better, only that they need to make you see that too.

Why Did I Fall In Love With A Narcissist?

Why did I fall in love with a narcissist? Contrary to what people may think, narcissists are super attractive and falling in love with them can be really tempting. People fall in love with narcissists for various reasons which can range from their attractiveness to the intoxicating feeling of being the chosen one among others.

You know that someone with a narcissistic personality disorder is not good for you but you are in love and wondering, why did I fall in love with a narcissist? As mentioned earlier, narcissists can be super attractive which draws people to them and asides from that, you may have fallen in love with them because of their other wonderful traits which you found irresistible.

The most common features that make people fall in love with narcissists include their charm and sense of humour, they are fun to be with as they are often considered to be the life of the party, they are mostly good-looking, they are intelligent and come off as being powerful. There are many appealing qualities that narcissists possess which make them irresistible.

Narcissists can be very intoxicating and this may be the reason why you are asking, why did I fall in love with a narcissist? The feeling of being chosen above all others can be really intoxicating as it makes you feel really special and wanted and they treat you accordingly because you are the special being they pursued but this feeling for them is usually short-lived and can be hurtful when it ends.

While chasing you, a narcissist often keeps his real self under wraps until he has you in his clutches, so you may fall in love with him like you would any other man because he exhibited traits that were appealing to you. There usually aren’t many red flags when you meet a narcissist as they know that to successfully get you entrapped, they have to play the part of the loving partner.

Why did I fall in love with a narcissist? You probably did because of the love bombing which is an emotional technique which includes the use of flattery, affection and gifts to entrap you with the aim to control you when in their clutches. People fall in love with narcissists because they work so hard and go over and beyond to charm their way into your life.

Many people who fall in love with narcissists were likely raised by one and they just want that pattern to continue as it creates a sense of consistency in their lives. Many of our choices as adults are influenced by our experiences as children and if a child was surrounded by narcissists growing up, chances are he/she will want to date a narcissist as well.

People also fall in love with them because their confidence is considered sexy. As we know, narcissists have an inflated sense of self and some may find this trait super attractive. In reality, the sense of self of narcissists is usually shallow as they mostly just show people what they want them to see and not their true self, and their unending demands reveal their insecurities.

Narcissists often trick people to fall for them, a skill which they groom from a young age and it mostly works for them. They want to get as many people as possible to love and admire them and they chase potential victims for the thrill of the hunt and not because they want a satisfying or long-lasting relationship, for them, it is all a game.

People often fall in love with narcissists because they are infamously known to be great in the bedroom but they do not attach any sentiments to it. Narcissists can blow your mind in the bedroom, especially for those who have really experienced good sex and this can make you fall in love with them but it can hurt you badly when you come to realise that they do not feel anything for you.

You may fall in love with a narcissist because the gaslighting in the relationship seems exciting as it leaves you guessing because nothing is as it seems and this creates a mystery in the relationship which keeps the relationship exciting. It is important to note that gaslighting is a toxic trait and being with someone who gaslights you can really hurt your feelings.

You may be in love with a narcissist because deep down, you believe you can change them, but this can be really exhausting for you as no one changes unless they feel the need to and make the decision personally to make the change. Being with a partner with the hopes of changing them can drain you emotionally and mentally leaving you frustrated and unhappy.

Can A Narcissist Ever Truly Love Someone?

Can a narcissist ever truly love someone? Narcissism is a mental disorder characterised by a grandiose, constant need for admiration and attention and showing no empathy towards other people which makes it very hard for them to fall in love as love involves sharing deeps feelings and desires and looking out for the good of the other person which narcissists are not about.

Can a narcissist ever truly love someone? It is highly unlikely that a narcissist is capable of truly loving someone besides all the acts they put up at the beginning of the relationship. Relationships are transactional for narcissists, they see it as a means to get attention, have great sex and boost their ego although this transaction is mostly one-sided as you get nothing in return.

Can a narcissist ever truly love someone? It is almost impossible as they prioritise power and control over intimacy, they consider vulnerabilities to be a display of weakness which is why love is not a thing for them. They are usually emotionally cold and have zero empathy which is a key factor in love, and your show of love for them will make you look weak.

Can a narcissist ever truly love someone? Jungian analyst Robert Johnson said when talking about whether narcissists are capable of love, “is always directed at our own projections, our own expectations, our own fantasies… it is a love not for another, but ourselves”. Besides the passion shown at the initial stage of trying to entrap you, it’s all a game for them, one they intend to win.

Narcissists have a very high emotional intelligence which makes it easy for them to understand, express, perceive and manage emotions which is a tool they use to manipulate people to get what they want which includes respect, admiration, and gratification. They attract people with their strong social skills which helps them make great first impressions.

Some people argue that narcissists are capable of feeling love and forming relationships, however, this is an arguable fact as those with narcissistic personality disorder have difficulty forming healthy relationships or falling in love because of the lack of empathy, their persistent need for admiration, lack of empathy, sense of entitlement and seeing their partner as inferior.

Narcissists may not be able to truly love because their motive for entering relationships is faulty as they enter relationships from a self-centred perspective, making everything about themselves. They have difficulty showing empathy to their partners or even supporting them emotionally which can cause an emotional disconnection and unending conflicts in the relationship.

Narcissists are skilled manipulators who would go out of their way to make their partners feel less than themselves in order to get what they want. Relationships are game for them and they are not interested in emotional intimacy or creating a bond with their partner they constantly gaslight, manipulate them and disregard their emotional needs.

Narcissists go into relationships thinking solely about themselves and what they can gain from a relationship. They cannot feel or view love the way other people view it. Many argue that they do not love themselves because they never get to reach the stage of emotional development and keep seeing people as things rather than persons worthy of being loved.

They have the same feeling normal people have towards the car of their dreams or a nice meal in a fancy restaurant, you love them, but mainly because of what they can do for you and how they make you feel which does not last very long. Narcissists have difficulty treating people who love them the way they deserve because of their lack of empathy.

One of the reasons why narcissists have issues with forming and maintaining romantic relationships is that they lack the ability to resolve conflicts because they have the belief that they can do no wrong and they lash out at their partners for the problems in the relationship especially when they have issues which are emotion-related.

A narcissist will not stay with you unless they have something to gain because as earlier mentioned, relationships are transactional for them. In summary, a narcissist can actually feel love but because love means vulnerability or weakness for them, they self-sabotage in the bid to protect themselves and they are incapable of showing their partners unconditional love.

To a narcissist, love is an external source of validation which boosts their self-esteem as they view it as something that they can obtain from a person or an object in order to feel better about themselves and lack the understanding that love involves reciprocity which makes them hurt their partners and leave them feeling less than themselves.

How Do You Know If A Narcissist Loves You?

How do you know if a narcissist loves you? If a narcissist fancies you, you may find that they shower you with attention, gifts, validation and flattery words but this is often short-lived occurring only at the beginning of your relationship and when they are trying to get you. At this stage, they make grand romantic gestures and put you on a pedestal that makes you feel special.

How do you know if a narcissist loves you? They may show you conditional love and act in loving ways but this is mostly dependent on what you can them in return as for them love is self-serving, exploitative, boastful, proud, envious and cold. Despite saying that narcissists are incapable of love, they often fall in love but they have a hard time with this feeling.

So how do you know if a narcissist loves you? When a narcissist loves you, they tend to be sweet and shower you with compliments and gifts but this is usually in an attempt to manipulate you in order to get what they want from you rather than because they truly love you and this can cause an emotionally unstable and intense relationship which can be really hurtful.

How do you know if a narcissist loves you? Narcissists do not fall in love the way other people do as they often love-bomb their partners with the relationship often having a sweet and sour type of love and this can create emotional instability in your relationship as against healthy relationships which offer emotional stability and love is reciprocated.

When a narcissist falls in love one would expect that they would change but this is not the case as they often remain self-absorbed and because of their fear of love or being vulnerable they tend to self-sabotage which can make them abusive as a way to protect themselves. They see people who feel love as being weak and avoid it because of the fear of losing the control they have.

When a narcissist says they love you, the interpretation may not be what you imagine love to be as they may be abusive, cheat, lie, and treat you horribly which love is not. They may show you grand gestures of affection and make you feel comfortable, but this does not last very long before the abuse and devaluation start.

If a narcissist loves you they may be more playful, and flirtatious and hold you on a high pedestal for long enough to make you feel at ease and then they start to make demands of you. Some argue that a narcissist does not fall in love, they just stay with you or like you because they find you to be useful to them and as soon as this feeling ends, they are done with you.

Many people have a trauma bond with their narcissistic partner because as much as they know that this love is detrimental to their health, their partner manipulates them so much that they often blame themselves for the problems that happen in their relationship. Ultimately, a narcissist likes you as long as he finds you to be useful which does not last long enough.

Narcissists may not be able to give their partners the love they desire because most of the time, they are simply using you to meet their narcissistic needs, which may be to show off to their friends because you are good-looking, have a good job or possess something that makes it possible for them to gloat to friends and make people feel inferior to them.

I Was In Love With A Narcissist Conclusion

I was in love with a narcissist conclusion. So many people have a trauma bond with narcissists such that they stay with a narcissist despite being abusive, traumatised and emotionally starved. You need to know that love is beautiful and should not be otherwise and if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you should consider how it affects your mental and emotional health.

I was in love with a narcissist conclusion. You should prioritise yourself when in a narcissistic relationship and encourage your partner to get help in order to be able to have a healthier and happier relationship. Making the decision to seek professional help is one of the best ways to improve your life and relationships with those around you.