My Life Is A Mess Posted byMiss Date Doctor February 5, 2023 Table of Contents hide 1 My Life Is A Mess 1.1 How Do I Not Mess Up My Life? 1.2 How Do You Know If You Are A Mess? 1.3 What To Do When Your Life’s In Shambles 1.4 Is My Life A Mess Quiz 1.5 What To Do When Your Life’s A Complete Disaster 1.6 My Life Is Messed Up 1.6.1 My Life Is Messed Up Conclusion 1.7 Further reading My Life Is A Mess My Life Is A Mess. There will always be moments when it feels like the world is crumbling around you, and you wonder if everything is all your fault. What if I had done this? What if I never did that — where would I be? Questions that focus on the past and the “could-have-been” feel paralyzing. The future, however, holds all possibilities. If you wonder what to do when your life is a complete disaster, know that you possess tools and wisdom from your past to build a better future. To help you access these tools, it’s useful to understand exactly why your life is so out of order. My Life is a mess. Existence is messy. You are not alone in finding your life in disarray, but fortunately, no one’s chaos is impossible to clean up. My Life Is A Mess. The first step is facing it and figuring out how things got so out of hand. Here are a few possibilities for why your life is a mess: My Life Is A Mess. Circumstances outside of your control: We make the best of plans, but the world spins around us, sometimes throwing curveballs. Those curveballs can snowball, creating a bigger problem that suddenly seems overwhelming. My Life Is A Mess. You don’t know what you want: It isn’t easy to put your life back together or move forward when you don’t know what you want for your life. This confusion can paralyze you and lead to apathy and inertia. My Life Is A Mess. You’ve failed at something: Failure at one thing can make you feel like a failure in general. Don’t think of failure as a step back, but rather a step towards knowing what doesn’t work for you. Although you may not be able to squeeze the proverbial toothpaste back into the tube, you can put the excess to good use — as zit cream or to clean your foggy headlights. (That may be a metaphor, but it’s true!) In other words, the mess in your life can be repurposed and transformed into something useful as part of the clean-up process. Don’t waste your life experiences — even the bad ones. Use them as building blocks for your new life. Ways to Clean It Up My Life Is A Mess. Avoid Suppressing Your Emotions When life gets messy, anxiety tends to ramp up. Your impulse is to shut down that feeling, but shutting down doesn’t eliminate the anxiety — it just buries it. It will hum in the background as you try to move forward. When you address anxiety head-on, you are better equipped to begin the work of real change. My Life Is A Mess. Talk through your feelings with someone you trust to help you discern which thoughts hold weight and which are just negative self-talk. My Life Is A Mess. Visualize your fear as a wave passes through you as you work through this process. These waves come and go, but they don’t define you. My Life Is A Mess. Make a To-Do List It feels overwhelming to have so many unfinished tasks in front of you; however, they are far more challenging to tackle than just swimming around your head. My Life Is A Mess. Think small and short term. If planning for the year ahead overwhelms you with dread, make your to-do list for this month. If that’s too scary, make a to-do list for tomorrow. Broken down into small tasks, those big scary goals become no big deal. Instead of writing down “find a job,” make your goal “Look at job websites for one hour.” Celebrate each small task as you cross them off! My Life Is A Mess. Let Your Schedule Suit You Some people need a routine. A consistent and planned schedule allows them to maintain their sense of order and lessen their anxiety. If you’ve never been good at keeping a routine, that’s okay. Don’t try to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. If you’re type B, go with the flow. My Life Is A Mess. If you have concentration disorders like ADHD, create an easy-breezy method that works for you. For example, if you have ten tasks on your to-do list, tell yourself you just have to do one today for only one hour. You can choose the project the day of, and choose the one hour at any point in the day, as it suits your mood. My Life Is A Mess. Don’t Be Ashamed Every person experiences disaster on some level. The circumstances might be outside of your control, or may be the result of a few mistakes. Remember that you did the best you could at the moment, even if it didn’t work out. With each “failure” comes a lesson, and maybe right now, you are learning a ton of them. However, with lessons come tools and wisdom. You currently have more tools than ever before, meaning you are more capable than ever before to get your life back on track. Things may feel like a mess or even a total failure, but look — you are here reading this article! You survived a battle with yourself, and that’s incredible! Take One Thing Off Your Plate If you take a look at that to-do list, does it feel overwhelming? We’ll let you in on a secret: you don’t have to do every task yourself. We often try to handle everything ourselves so we aren’t a burden to our loved ones. If you are overwhelmed, reach out to a friend and talk through your to-do list. Focus Your Energy on Your Passions When “real life” is stressful, envelope yourself in the comfort of things you love to do. Find small ways to engage your passions daily. These actions help you feel rooted in your identity and connected to love and growth potential. Go for a five-minute walk every day, take pictures of your favourite objects in your house, make the meal that comforted you as a kid, or join a yoga club! Honouring yourself in a small way every day helps foster the mindset you need to get your life back on track. How Do I Not Mess Up My Life? How Do I Not Mess Up My Life? Stop taking so much notice of how you feel. How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re thinking. It’ll go too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, you feel; whatever you think, you think. Since you can’t stop yourself from thinking, or prevent emotions from arising in your mind, it makes no sense to be proud or ashamed of either. You didn’t cause them. Only your actions are directly under your control. They’re the only proper cause of pleasure or shame. How Do I Not Mess Up My Life? Let go of worrying. It often makes things worse. The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. When your hair trigger is primed to notice the first sign of trouble, you’ll surely find something close enough to convince yourself it’s coming. Ease up on the internal life commentary. If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable. People are always telling themselves how they feel, what they’re thinking, what others feel about them, and what this or that event means. Most of its imagination. The rest is equal parts lies and misunderstandings. You have only the most limited understanding of what others feel about you. Usually, they’re no better informed on the subject; and they care about it far less than you do. You have no way of knowing what this or that event means. Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe. How Do I Not Mess Up My Life? Take no notice of your inner critic. Judging yourself is pointless. Judging others is half-witted. Whatever you achieve, someone else will always do better. However bad you are, others are worse. Since you can tell neither what’s best nor what’s worst, how can you place yourself correctly between them? Judging others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot create a reliable or objective scale, have no means of knowing whether your criteria match anyone else’s, and cannot have more than a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. Who cares about your opinion anyway? How Do I Not Mess Up My Life? Give up on feeling guilty. Guilt changes nothing. It may make you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce anything new in your life. If you feel guilty about something you’ve done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed up and try not to do so again. Then let it go. If you’re feeling guilty about what someone else did, see a psychiatrist. That’s insane. Stop being concerned about what the rest of the world says about you. Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. They can’t make you anything. You have to do that for yourself. Whatever emotions arise in you as a result of external events, they’re powerless until you pick them up and decide to act on them. Besides, most people are far too busy thinking about themselves (and worrying about what you are thinking and saying about them) to be concerned about you. How Do I Not Mess Up My Life? Stop keeping score. Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers. Because something is expressed as a number, a ratio or any other numerical pattern doesn’t mean it’s true. Plenty of lovingly calculated business indicators are irrelevant, gibberish, nonsensical, or just plain wrong. If you don’t understand it, or it’s telling you something bizarre, ignore it. There’s nothing scientific about relying on false data. Nor nothing useful about charting your life by numbers that were silly in the first place. Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working out the way you planned. The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong. The world changes constantly. However carefully you analyzed the situation when you made the plan, if it’s more than a few days old, things will already be different. After a month, they’ll be very different. After a year, virtually nothing will be the same as it was when you started. Planning is only useful as a discipline to force people to think carefully about what they know and what they don’t. Once you start, throw the plan away and keep your eyes on reality. Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions. To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s success and happiness demeans them and proves you’ve lost the plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. You can’t do it for them; nor can you stop them from messing it up if they’re determined to do so. The job of a supervisor is to help and supervise. Only control freaks and some others with a less serious mental disability fail to understand this. Don’t worry about your personality. You don’t have one. Personality, like ego, is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world. Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and actions. If your personality isn’t likeable today, don’t worry. You can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so. What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined effort on their part—usually, through continually telling themselves they’re this or that kind of person and acting on what they say. If you don’t like the way you are, make yourself different. You’re the only person who’s standing in your way. How Do You Know If You Are A Mess? How Do You Know If You Are A Mess? We all have heartaches, down periods, tribulations, and stressors in our life. When you take a mental photograph of your whole life from birth to today, chances are you’re going to have some serious grey and black splotches. But overall, you wake up each day and do what you have to do. You’ve got it together. Unless of course, you’re a hot freaking mess! No doubt, if you’re a catastrophic mess, people know it. The bad news is most likely, people are judging you or being empathetic toward you. The good news is everyone becomes a mess now and then. But when your life has a constant orange roadblock sign in it and everyone, including yourself, decides that your life is a big pile of sh*t, that’s where the problems arise. signs your life is a hot mess. How Do You Know If You Are A Mess? You lack focus. Your inability to focus has caused you so many problems that even you can’t begin to count them. How Do You Know If You Are A Mess? You feed into the drama. You’re always in a fight with someone — never the same person, but many people and most of your relationships are marked with a damaging tone. Most likely, you’re choosing to befriend, have sex with, and love people who treat you terribly, and then entwine you in heartache and stress. How Do You Know If You Are A Mess? You spend money faster than you make it. You’re not able to budget your money even if you’re making a decent salary, and your job stability is a laughing matter. How Do You Know If You Are A Mess? You’ve burned all your bridges. You have burned necessary bridges, which has made your life tougher. In some cases, the bridges needed to be burnt, and in others, they were your fault. You did this because you were panicking, angry, upset, or embroiled with a toxic person who turned your life so upside down — and you let them! You have mood swings. You’re happy one minute and then the next, you’re a wreck. You lash out at people and find yourself profusely apologizing, only to then do it all over again. You’re pitied by everyone you know. People pity you and sometimes it’s deserved and out of legitimate hardships. Other times, it’s because the person doesn’t understand how you function. You avoid the people closest to you. Your dearest friends, who love you despite everything, are there for you — to a point. They have stopped extending their hand and offering too many favours because they don’t want to enable you. You look for an easy way out. You’re always looking for the easy answer or a quick fix to make things better, rather than doing the hard work to make real and permanent life changes. You have at least one enabler in your life. There’s always something enabling you to continue to live your life recklessly. You still haven’t gotten over past heartaches. Your list of past heartaches is extensive, long, and completely heart-wrenching. In this way, it makes it easy for someone to understand why you’re a hot mess. Your family life isn’t the best. Most likely, you’ve got a conflicted family life and one that’s marked by absence, drama, or coldness. It’s these dark roots that taught you that the chaotic way is the best way to live. You might be an addict. It could be sex, drugs, gambling, shopping, or drinking. It could be anything, but if your life is peppered with addiction, you might be an insanely hot mess. You rely on others to fix you. It’s not unusual for you to look to some guru, religious or other people for guidance. Of course, a few months later you’re over it and onto the next person or fad. What To Do When Your Life’s In Shambles What To Do When Your Life’s In Shambles. So, something happened, and you realized that your life feels like a disaster. How do you pick up from here? Here are things you can do today to help restart your life and bring order to any situation. What To Do When Your Life’s In Shambles. Realize that it is only temporary don’t sweat the small stuff” What is happening to you right now is only temporary. Try to look at the long term while finding the positives of today. Often when we are feeling depressed about our current situation, it is hard to see the good in anything. Stop, take a deep breath and focus on the positives. What To Do When Your Life’s In Shambles. Make a list Put the most pressing items or issues that need to be addressed at the top of your list. For example, is your history of being involved in loveless relationships affecting your overall health and well-being? Is your life in shambles because of poor financial decisions? Start a list of some of the most pressing things that need to be addressed in your life. Once you have created a list, look for ways to address those issues. Whether it is finding resources to help with relationship issues or going over your credit card debt, sometimes just writing things down helps us to organize our thoughts and emotions. What To Do When Your Life’s In Shambles. Reach out for support Feeling depressed or anxious about your situation? Reach out for support. Contact friends, family members, and your church, or find a therapist. People who use their support systems are less likely to suffer from depression or anxiety. Taking advantage of your support systems also increases resiliency, which is your ability to bounce back from a difficult situation. Reaching out to others helps to put things in perspective. Try not to isolate yourself—chances are you have friends who have also felt the same way as you do now. What To Do When Your Life’s In Shambles. View it as a learning opportunity Sometimes when we feel like our life is a mess, we blame ourselves—we should have known better or done something differently. Try to see your current situation as a learning opportunity. Mistakes are how we learn. No one gets things perfect all the time, especially the first time around, and life is messy. Try not to judge yourself too severely. This situation is a way for you to grow and change in ways that would not have been possible if all these things had not happened to you. By viewing your situation from this perspective, you can look back at this event in your life not as a crisis but as a situation where you chose to live and see things differently. REMEMBER AND CELEBRATE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS. Over the years, you’ve probably acquired all kinds of evidence to support your badassery: medals from athletic competitions, certificates from awards earned, and even sample emails thanking you for your skilful management of some complex situation at work. Sift through these testaments to your success in life. You may be feeling like sludge right now, but you’ve accomplished a lot in your time, and you’re sure to accomplish more yet. Never forget that. TACKLE THE NASTIEST CHORE ON YOUR TO-DO LIST. We’ve all got those nagging items we keep procrastinating on. Whatever you neglect, whatever unfinished task pecks at your conscience, get on it. Show it that you’re not afraid. You’ll feel like a legit grown-up when you grit your teeth and do it. Plus, you’ll instantly clear some head space for the important stuff. EXPAND YOUR WORLDVIEW AND LEARN SOMETHING NEW. Whether it’s a Youtube tutorial or a lecture at the local college, a professional-skills update or a quick demonstration by a well-versed pal, get out there and add to your knowledge. There’s nothing more formidable or sexier than a smart woman. So take every chance you’re granted to exercise your brain. Once you’re searching for them, the opportunities will begin to stack up. TEACH THINGS. Who doesn’t love being an expert? You can keep it small (showing a coworker how to reset the finicky office copier) or get bold (becoming a mentor). Communicating your knowledge to others and watching them grow as a result is one of the most satisfying things you can do. You’ll get an instant boost when you realize how much you have to contribute. VOLUNTEER TO HELP PEOPLE WHO COULD USE IT. It’s impossible to remain stuck in your frantic mind when you’re serving a greater cause. Awesome as it is to do good for others, the benefits that come back your way are a good perk too. It needn’t be a long-term commitment. Start with a morning beach cleanup or participate in a one-day adoption event for an animal shelter. Any amount of time spent doing good is something to be proud of, and it may give you such a positive rush that you decide to participate more regularly. Is My Life A Mess Quiz Is My Life A Mess Quiz. Have you been feeling empty recently, like your life is missing something? That is such a common feeling! Don’t feel like The Lone Ranger.:) Just take my quiz and find out what you need to do to help yourself feel better. Good luck – I hope it helps. Is My Life A Mess Quiz. How are you feeling right now? Why does everyone ignore me these days? I don’t know what’s going to happen next in my life A little sad. I’m missing someone very much Generally happy, I guess Do you frequently feel empty? More ignored than empty. Nobody gives a crap anymore I have no idea what’s going on in my life anymore Sometimes, but not often All the time. These days, I’m just alone Do you feel depressed often? (Undiagnosed – just feelings.) Ugh, all the time Yeah, sometimes. I wish people would remember and include me No, not really I do – not to be melodramatic What do you want more than anything else in the world right now? I want to know I’m safe and secure I want him/her back in my arms, where he/she should be I want to be with people and loved by them again I want to call my friends, go out somewhere and have fun Is My Life A Mess Quiz. Are you having trouble defining who you are and what your personality is like these days? I don’t know who I am anymore No, I know who I am and where I’m going, for now I guess a little, maybe? I think more about the person I love than myself, so sometimes I forget A little bit, because since everyone else forgets me, I start to forget myself, too How happy are you with your appearance? It’s OK. On the good days, I like it God, I hate it I think it’s simply fabulous I can live with it Is My Life A Mess Quiz. What do you have nightmares about these days? I’m not having many nightmares at the moment Losing the one I love. I’m terrified of that Monsters coming to get me Being alone in the dark with nobody there to hear me screaming Do you have good relationships with your family and friends? Yeah, I love them very much, and I’m so glad they’re in my life Not so much recently. I’ve been withdrawing a little, so we don’t talk as much I get along with them, I guess Ugh, I can’t stand any of them Is My Life A Mess Quiz. Have you noticed your interest in life fading a little recently? Nope, I’m pretty happy with life I’m sick of the world and everyone in it Maybe not my interest, but I feel less safe in life now Because I’m feeling so alone, I sometimes get really angry at the world for tearing me away from the one I love What do you think is missing from your life? I think nothing at all is missing! My life is simply superb I think it’s attention. So many people are ignoring me. I just want to be acknowledged and told that I’m loved I think it’s love. I miss my special person so much all the time – how could it not be? I think it’s security. I’m feeling so vulnerable and unhappy – all I want is to feel safe and protected again What To Do When Your Life’s A Complete Disaster What To Do When Your Life’s A Complete Disaster. Most people, when problems arise, prefer to adapt to new uncomfortable conditions rather than throwing all their inner resources to overcome difficulties. You lose control of your life and endure constant disorder. If you are tired of this and you want to change something, it’s time to act. Tips on what to do when your life is a complete disaster What To Do When Your Life’s A Complete Disaster. Limit all useless actions Certain actions that you do every day do not bring you anything but unnecessary confusion and also distract you from solving important problems. Think for a moment how many hours a day you spend on social media, watching funny videos, trying to recover from the alarm, answering emails outside of office hours, and more. Limit such meaningless actions, and you will immediately have more time and energy to take a more deliberate approach to organise your life. What To Do When Your Life’s A Complete Disaster. Engage in self-improvement Stop justifying your inaction, start planning your time, set goals that reflect your values, and pump yourself up as a person and as a professional in your field. All this is necessary for you to start a new period. As you become better, you will try to get rid of the clutter, solve all your problems promptly, and not leave any area of your life unattended. What To Do When Your Life’s A Complete Disaster. Get rid of negativity Try to carefully limit communication with family and friends who bring nothing but negativity into your life. Don’t waste your time swearing with them, don’t give them a second or third chance to meet your expectations, don’t argue with them, and don’t rely on their help. All this will inevitably lead to disappointment, worries, and stress. Protect yourself from negativity, and you will be surprised how quickly your life will improve. What To Do When Your Life’s A Complete Disaster. Don’t take advice from someone who doesn’t look like you If you are advised by people who are completely different from you: they have different views on life, and values that differ from yours, otherwise, they set priorities, then you should not listen to them. At best, nothing will change in your life. At worst, you will live in constant chaos, not knowing what to do. To streamline your life, you must stop shifting responsibility onto someone else. No one knows better than you what to do in a particular situation. You can use the advice of others, but at least choose people with similar views and interests. Learn to refuse people If you do not know how to refuse people, then most likely, your life is chaotic and unpredictable. Despite your plans, you agree to any suggestions and requests from others. You only do this because you are afraid to offend or offend them in some way. As a result, you do not have time to deal with your list of tasks, and other people’s business is next in line. Do not overload yourself with responsibilities: sometimes it is better to refuse a person than to promise something, and do it mediocre or completely forget about it. Replace bad habits with good ones Get rid of the influence of your bad habits: instead of getting 5 hours of sleep, force yourself to go to bed early and rest for at least 8 hours. Instead of ordering fast food, try to cook for yourself, perhaps even a week in advance. Instead of working until you burn out, set boundaries and allow yourself to be distracted and relaxed more often. Don’t just get rid of bad habits, but immediately replace them with good ones. So, you will have a better chance over time to put your life in order, changing it beyond recognition. Start planning your business Planning your business will help you learn how to manage your time correctly, reduce the risk that you may forget about some important tasks, and save you from unnecessary worries. Just give yourself 5-10 minutes to write a to-do list for the day, week, and month. Mark your goals on the calendar and make a plan for how you will achieve them. Remember to include small things in your schedule, like washing dishes or doing laundry, otherwise, they will accumulate and pour out into a fully loaded day with homework. It is better to do them on time, without postponing. Get rid of unnecessary things The disorder in life must be eradicated in everything. If you have a lot of things at home that you don’t use, try to get rid of them. Throw away old clothes, sell equipment, and distribute what has been preserved in good condition to your family and friends. You can send some of the unnecessary trash to charity or recycling. The main thing is not to regret that the number of things in your apartment is decreasing. This will help you eliminate distractions and organize your space more comfortable. Automate whatever you can Do it if you can automate some repetitive tasks that do not require your direct participation. This way you will save yourself a lot of time and energy that you can spend on something more important. For example, let the application perform the mailing of letters or pay recurring payments on its own, according to your settings. You can buy a dishwasher or a robotic vacuum cleaner to use less energy cleaning. Stop putting off doing things for later Stop promising yourself that you will accomplish what you planned for tomorrow. This will not happen tomorrow, Monday, or early next month. If you postpone something once, where is the guarantee that you will nevertheless take up your mind and bring what you started to the end after a while? Solve your problems as soon as they come: even if the task seems unimportant and not urgent to you, try to complete it as soon as possible so as not to be distracted by it in the future and not create chaos in your to-do list. My Life Is Messed Up My Life Is Messed Up. Now and then, life becomes unacceptable. It can happen for all sorts of reasons, but it generally comes down to one thing. You’ve lost something that fucking mattered. Maybe it’s a person. Maybe it’s a job. Maybe it’s your health. Or maybe you’ve lost the idea of something. Like, an idealised future that for some reason suddenly seems completely out of reach. When life is unacceptable, every day is another fight with reality. You wake up, remember what’s going on, and feel like shit. Angry. Incredulous. Guilty. Ashamed. Whatever your particular cocktail of emotions, the internal message is clear: ‘life shouldn’t be like this. This fight with How Things Are is exhausting. It’s a fight you can’t win, but what else are you supposed to do? Losing your grip on reality. Not as fun as it sounds. My Life Is Messed Up. Step 1: Recognize the Mess You Have It’s easy to say that you have to take back control of your life, but how do you do this? If there was one right answer, most people wouldn’t deal with this problem for more than a minute. The truth is there isn’t one. There is no quick solution, but there are ways to deal with it. First, you have to recognize that you have a problem. If you tell yourself everything is fine, then there is nothing to fix. The moment you don’t prioritize dealing with your problems is the moment you lose. It’s possible to get through your days even though your life is a mess. Because maybe your home isn’t a mess. Maybe everything looks alright from the outside. We can still go to work and pick the kids up from school despite our problems, but day by day you’ll become more and more anxious and depressed until it finally hits you all at once. The first step is therefore to take your problems seriously and actively decide to turn things around. Maybe you’re not at a breaking point yet, but you will get there if you keep ignoring the mess. My Life Is Messed Up. Step 2: Know What Are out of Control, and Let Go of Them When your life seems like a mess, it often comes down to a lot of things around us that aren’t going the way they are supposed to. It can be the small things like a messy kitchen and the big things like personal relationships not working out, or bills that are overflowing. Start by figuring out exactly where it all seems to go wrong at the moment. Sit down and write down everything that’s been bothering you. It may seem basic and stupid to spend time on a list like that, because with everything you should be doing – making a list about it just creates even more pressure on you. But by writing it down, you’ll be able to get a good look at your messy life. Sometimes, we need to see the problems on paper written down in our own words. Once you do this, you’ll be able to see that a lot of the things that seem to make your life a mess are out of your control. Underline all the things on the list that you can’t control and then let go of them. It’s very normal (and okay) to have a lot of these out-of-our-control things on the list as well as problems that aren’t even real problems. Humans need problems, but we need to be able to solve them. Problems are a constant in every human life, but stop creating problems you can’t fix. We get so caught up in small things like our partner liking someone else’s picture on social media. It’s much easier to let our bottled-up anger out on a person about a picture instead of saying you’re not happy anymore and that you should have broken up six months ago. Pinpoint all the things that are bringing you down that you can’t control. Problems are okay. They are a part of human existence, but if you want to move on and fix your life, then you need to only focus on the problems that can be solved. My Life Is Messed Up. Step 3: Don’t Get Lost in Distractions and Fantasies When your life starts to feel like a mess, it’s often because you’ve been moving forward at a fast pace, but somehow still feel like you’re standing still. You thought that if you just kept going for another week, another month, or maybe even another year, you would get “there”. You’re not sure where, but you told yourself that you would know this happy place once you got there. Then you wake up one day and all the problems are still there. The magic solution you thought would save you from all the negative things in your life was nothing else than a tale. We tell ourselves that we can overcome problems like having too many bills if we just find our true love, or that it doesn’t matter if you’re alone and miserable as long as we get a promotion at work. We like to idealize the idea of a few good things in life that we’ve seen in all the movies: the perfect job, the perfect partner… And then we tell ourselves that instead of focusing on the small problems in our life, we should focus on getting those. My Life Is Messed Up. It’s delusional to think that one good thing in life can make all the bad things go away. It’s a fantasy. Even if you do get that one good thing that you’ve put so much pressure on getting, it will end up backfiring and make you feel even sadder once you get it because you realize that all the other things in your life did kind of matter as well. While it’s important to not spend time caring about all the problems we can’t fix, it’s just as important to care about the things we do have the ability to fix. Maybe you can run away from your problems for a while — getting caught up in a new relationship that makes you forget that you’ve broken the one with your family, or a new promotion can make you forget that you wanted to do something else with your life. Unfortunately, the ongoing problems in your life will come back and they will hit you much harder. The final step is therefore to keep your focus on the problems that can be fixed. The problems in front of you that you are in control of. Embrace them. Deal with them. One day at a time. Don’t get lost in distractions. They might make you feel better for a minute, but they’ll make everything worse in the long run. My Life Is Messed Up Conclusion My Life Is Messed Up Conclusion. It doesn’t mean that you can’t fall in love or enjoy some good news at work while you’re dealing with your problems. But remember to deal with your pain and problems instead of pushing them to the side. My Life Is Messed Up Conclusion. Our everyday life can become overwhelming and quite a mess if we ignore our problems for too long. But with the steps above, you can gradually take back control of life and find joy again. 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