Table of Contents hide

1 Reasons Why Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You

1.1 How Do You Fix A Sexless Relationship?

1.2 Is Lack Of Intimacy A Reason To Break Up?

1.3 What Happens When Couples Stop Sleeping Together?

1.4 Why Does My Boyfriend Not Want To Be Intimate Anymore?

1.5 Is It Normal For Couples To Not Go To Bed Together?

1.5.1 Reasons Why Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You Conclusion

1.6 Further reading

Reasons Why Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You

Reasons why your partner doesn’t want to sleep with you. Though most people will never admit it, there’s a good chance someone you know is struggling silently with the hurt stemming from a husband or boyfriend who doesn’t want to have sex.

It’s been reported that approximately 15% of all marriages encounter a dead bedroom at one point or another, and bad or infrequent sex is frequently cited as a leading cause of breakups, so if you’re experiencing a sexless relationship or marriage, you certainly aren’t alone.

Women talk about boyfriends and husbands who stopped having any interest in sex whatsoever, leaving them baffled, hurt, and confused. They desperately want their relationships to work, and there’s often one thing they want even more.

They want to know why their boyfriend doesn’t want sex — at least, not with them.

Honestly, I don’t have all the answers for these women. My advice for why your boyfriend is not interested in you sexually (absent of an underlying medical reason or psychological factors he is actively working through in counselling) is that you should leave since clearly, he doesn’t care enough to want to keep you happy.

However, that unsolicited advice doesn’t explain the “why” of the question.

Reasons why your partner doesn’t want to sleep with you

There are innumerable explanations as to why couples in long-term relationships find themselves in situations when either one of the partners starts avoiding sex for a reason the other cannot comprehend.

The explanation for your partner’s behaviour may be due to an underlying medical issue or various emotional or psychological factors. Following are a few reasons why your partner does not want to have sex anymore:

Physical factors: are one of the major reasons why your partner doesn’t want to sleep with you. Your partner might be experiencing a loss of libido due to physical ailments, particularly ones about the endocrine and circulatory systems.

Disorders such as diabetes, hypothyroidism, and heart complications to name a few, affect the hormone levels in the body, which leads to a lack of sexual drive.

Psychological factors: Many mental and emotional factors also affect libido in both men and women. Stress and depression, which often cause sleep deprivation, are two of the biggest causes of unwillingness to have sex.

Talk to your partner about the root of the problem and ascertain what is creating stress and triggering depression. Communication and counselling are the main ways of dealing with such a situation.

Excessive masturbation: most men are guilty of this hence the Reasons why your partner doesn’t want to sleep with you. If a person watches too much pornography and consequently indulges in masturbation frequently, sexual function is automatically lowered when it comes to performing during intercourse. If your partner masturbates too much, simply ask that the practice be put an end to.

Lack of affection: When there is a lack of warmth and affection between partners, the desire to engage in sexual intercourse is automatically diminished. Communicate with your companion to determine ways in which you can rekindle love and passion in the relationship.

Addiction to narcotics: If your partner has developed an addiction to certain narcotics, such as nicotine, morphine, and various anti-depressants, that are known to reduce sexual drive, it could be the reason for not wanting to have sex.

One of the reasons why your partner doesn’t want to sleep with you could be an aversion to sex which are often extremely subjective and complex. Open and honest communications between partners may unravel the problem but in many cases, therapy and medical assistance provide the solution.

How Do You Fix A Sexless Relationship?

How do you fix a sexless relationship? If you’ve found yourself in a sexless relationship, you likely have a lot of questions on your mind: What causes a relationship to become sexless? Is a sexless relationship healthy?

And maybe the scariest question to ask yourself, especially if you’ve been in this relationship a long time and very much love the person you’re with: Should you stay in a sexless relationship? Here are all the answers you’re looking for, straight from sex and marriage therapists.

A sexless relationship is a relationship where there’s little to no sexual activity occurring between the couple. There’s no exact way to quantify what counts as a sexless relationship, as different people have different expectations and desires for sex.

If you’re in a sexless relationship and really struggling to get your sex life to a place that feels good for both people, consider working with a sex professional.

How do you fix a sexless relationship? Oftentimes bringing in a supportive, impartial third party can help clear the air and set you on the right path.

How Do You Fix A Sexless Relationship?

Talk about it.

Have a different kind of conversation, one that is meant to get you working on it as a team, as allies, committed to a win/win.

Most couples in this situation believe their interests are opposed (more sex/less sex), but it’s crucial to be working together on a sex life that works for both people. That has to come through in the conversations. And you have to keep the topic on the table, not just bring it up once a year.

Uncover the obstacles.

What’s gotten in the way of sex? Instead of anger that you aren’t getting what you want, cultivate curiosity about why this is a struggle for your partner.

How do you fix a sexless relationship? Many things can get in the way, including relationship issues, power dynamics, the meaning of sex in your relationship, the sex itself, etc. You need to identify what’s in the way and work together to change those aspects.

Develop a new paradigm.

How do you fix a sexless relationship? Challenge expectations about sex. Learn how it works. Redefine it so it’s not attached to particular acts or outcomes. Create more flexibility around how you can share sexuality. Learn how sexual desire works, and approach sex with openness to play rather than having specific metrics for success.

Approach sex as a “playground” without attachment to an outcome.

Rather than a binary yes/no (which so many people end up with), create room for “maybe.” Let’s get started and see what happens.

How do you fix a sexless relationship? Create those opportunities and enjoy them together, whether that results in “sex” the way you think of it or not. This is how you can take the pressure off—by learning to play and enjoy and create a way of engaging where there is no failure.

Prioritize it.

How do you fix a sexless relationship? Schedule opportunities for this playground, this “maybe.” Make it a regular part of your life—to be physically intimate in some way, without the pressure that it has to be any particular act(s). And keep talking!

Is Lack Of Intimacy A Reason To Break Up?

Is lack of intimacy a reason to break up? It’s not uncommon to go through different stages in your love life. For some couples, it’s normal to be less intimate, while others may see a decline over time.

If you’re wondering whether a sexless relationship is healthy, you’ll first want to understand what’s causing it: Examine your relationship from a few different angles. Are you feeling too busy and struggling to find time for intimacy, or does it feel like your emotional connection with your partner is fading?

When life gets in the way, you might find that you’re not as close to your S.O. as you used to be. Sometimes, we simply fall out of the habit. This happens more often than you might think.

Is lack of intimacy a reason to break up? Some events like an illness or a new baby will interrupt the couple’s normal sexual schedule, supposedly temporarily, but sexual relations just don’t resume. Mental health issues, like depression or anxiety, can also impact sexual desire and libido.

If sex stops once children enter the picture, some couples find it challenging to view their partners as sexual beings rather than just parents of their kids. Postpartum depression, which can affect both parents, can also have an impact on the desire for sex.

The sexual drought continues and, quite commonly, nobody brings the topic up until it becomes critical to one or the other. This situation can last for years. When sex is seen as a chore, both partners must make time to be intimate. After all, sex is an essential part of connecting with the one you love most—and getting back in bed together can be exciting after some time away.

Is lack of intimacy a reason to break up? In sexless relationships, it’s important to talk openly with one another to communicate what you both need (and seek help when it’s necessary).

In other cases, a sexless relationship comes in different forms. One partner may no longer feel turned on by the other, or they may not desire sex because they’re attracted to someone else.

The complainer usually gives a ‘reason,’ such as the partner’s weight gain or unwillingness to engage in the type of sex [they] prefer. A person can learn to love the partner again by focusing on what is loveable, what originally turned them on, or what might be changed that might reawaken love and desire.

Some couples never treated sex as a key component of love, to begin with, and they may view their partner as a companion rather than a romantic mate. Some people are fine with living in a sexless relationship; the key is ensuring that both partners are on the same page.

On the contrary, other couples lose sexual desire for one another after infidelity. Broken trust can also break the desire to be intimate going forward.

How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?

Is lack of intimacy a reason to break up? While many of us love sex for its obvious physical benefits, it’s also an important part of connecting emotionally with our partners. Many people view the desire and frequency of sex with their mate as an analysis of how healthy the relationship is.

When we’re intimate with our partners, we strengthen a unique emotional bond that comes with being physically close to one another. But how often we have sex doesn’t always measure our happiness—and like all other things in love, our desires can only be defined by ourselves.

I think often what is being asked when the ‘how important is sex’ question is posed is: ‘How often should my partner and I have sex to be considered normal?. Once a year or once a day; if whatever is happening between them is sufficient sex, there is no problem.

Asking for outside validation is irrelevant. In other words, as long as both partners are happy, there’s no need to compare the frequency of your sex life to others.

When you’ve suddenly lost the desire or are rarely intimate with each other, this may be an indicator that your connection is fading. If a couple is celibate because their sexual relationship was unsatisfying or unfulfilling, then it stands to reason that they will experience high levels of sexual dissatisfaction.

Is lack of intimacy a reason to break up? [Emotionally], a couple may remain together in a sexless marriage because their partner is their best friend or their ‘ideal’ partner. That’s not to say that you’ll be stuck in a sexless relationship forever—if you’re not getting what you need, consider discussing the topic with your S.O. There are plenty of ways to improve your sex life when you’re in a rut.

Signs your relationship may be ending or over

Communication breakdown

You may notice that you and your partner rarely discuss things anymore, either positive or negative. When issues arise, rather than work to solve them you may both sweep them under the rug, but hold on to the frustration you feel under the surface.

It may feel at this stage like there’s no point trying to work things out, and you’d rather opt for a peaceful life. Similarly, when positive things arise in your life you may not feel the urge to let them know.

Communication is a habit of practice and can be learned and taught. If you’d like to work on communication skills, psychologists and counsellors can help. Find more information on relationship counselling

Lack of physical intimacy

Intimacy in your relationship may be rare or unheard of at this stage, both sexual and non-sexual. The physical intimacy of all kinds is critical sustenance for a relationship. Touching releases hormones that produce love and connection, namely oxytocin.

Oxytocin is a neuropeptide released in your brain when you are physically intimate (sexually or non-sexually) with another person – it produces feelings of trust, bonding, and devotion. In the absence of physical intimacy, those feelings can dwindle.

Is lack of intimacy a reason to break up? Intimacy and sex therapy is a very common concern for many couples and a popular reason for seeking counselling, as they can be improved and made more fulfilling. Find more information on physical intimacy & sex therapy

Aggressive or confrontational communication style

Conversely to a total communication breakdown, you and your partner may be arguing like there’s no tomorrow, constantly at each other’s throats, and unreceptive to any attempts to patch things over.

When people are feeling relationship frustrations, it can be extremely tempting to release energy through aggressive or confrontational behaviour. Like a pressure valve, the rush of anger can provide a temporary feeling of satisfaction, but in the long term, this type of behaviour erodes trust and respect and kills communication between partners.

Just as damaging as overt aggression, passive-aggressive communication is in itself steeped in anger. Passive-aggressive behaviours include stonewalling, mockery, and refusing to respond to communication. Though this kind of behaviour can feel like an outlet for the frustration you can’t express via overt aggression, it can be just as damaging and abusive.

Is lack of intimacy a reason to break up? Many people successfully use anger management counselling to harness new ways of communicating their anger that help, instead of harm, their relationships. Find more information on anger management counselling

You or your partner are spending extended periods with other people, like family and friends, at the expense of time you might usually spend together

This doesn’t mean that you or they are being unfaithful, you may simply be moving your social world away from theirs to build space for a new single version of yourself.

This shouldn’t be confused with maintaining a healthy social life outside of the relationship. Remember that it’s not your job to police who your partner spends their time with – that type of behaviour is widely regarded as a signpost for an abusive or co-dependent relationship.

Fantasising about others

This can be a bit of a false sign most experts will tell you that fantasising about others is part of normal, healthy sexuality and that almost everyone does it.

The clincher is how much you find that your fantasy disturbs your peace: does it feel natural and like a positive expression of your sexuality, or does it feel guilt-laden and like it’s distracting you from your partner? Do you fantasise purely about sex or a whole other relationship? Is that fantasy fixated on one person who is known to you?

These are questions you should ask yourself, to help you ascertain whether your fantasy is healthy or overtaking – and degrading – your real relationship.

You agree with one another to keep the peace

While being agreeable and non-confrontational can be an asset to a relationship, constantly agreeing with or conceding to your partner to keep the peace can be a sign of a relationship that has tipped over the edge and toppled down the other side. Allowing your partner to walk all over you – or your partner allowing you to do the same – is a sign that the balance of power is off.

Many people successfully use anger management counselling to harness new ways of being assertive- communicating their disagreement, anger, and frustrations that help, instead of harm, their relationships. Find more information on anger management counselling

How to tell your partner the relationship is over

The first step, telling your partner it’s over, often seems like the hardest. There are ways to manage it positively and kindly – and ways not to do it.

Do end the relationship as soon as you have figured out that it’s nearing its sell-by date. Don’t drag it out for fear of a) hurting your partner or b) losing a sense of security or comfort in your life.

Dragging something out to save your partner’s emotions can conversely cause them more harm since they’re likely to pick up on signs of discontent from you. Dragging something out because you’re afraid of being alone is cruel to the person you’re with, who deserves to be let go with dignity and start moving on.

Do end things in person. Don’t shy away from the difficult conversation by conducting it remotely. You can move on quicker if you’ve hashed it out in person and said your physical goodbyes, rather than leaving things unsaid.

Do be honest about the reasons, and don’t make up excuses. It’s far more effective – and kinder – to tell someone that the feelings aren’t there any more than to make up some kind of excuse. Firstly, your partner is probably smart enough to deduce that an excuse is exactly that. Secondly, if you give them false hope by inventing some kind of obstacle or reason, they’re less likely to move on in a healthy way.

Do be clear that it’s over, and don’t give false signals. It can be hard to say goodbye and mean it, but dragging out the inevitable by going back on your decision is painful for both partners and leads to confusion and miscommunication.

How to accept the end of a relationship

Processing the end of a relationship and moving forward is a tricky business, peppered with stops and starts and backsteps. But the end of a relationship doesn’t need to be a purely negative event. Losing someone can be a pretty profound way to reacquaint yourself with yourself.

Take the time to get to know the complicated and often conflicting emotions you’re feeling

There’s no denying that you’ll be in an emotional rut for a while. Attempting to subdue or control your emotions will most likely have the paradoxical effect of extending and enhancing them, so, like all losses, you need to take time to grieve.

It’s an irritating but true statement – these things take time. Patience is required, and an understanding that suffering is temporary.

Avoid cycles of negativity

You must be honest with yourself about ways that you’ve suffered, but incessantly focusing on your partner’s negative attributes and dwelling on anger serves nobody. That kind of anger is actively damaging to your mental health. It also often acts as a camouflage for remnant feelings of love, especially if you feel you’ve been hurt or betrayed in any way.

Cultivate new relationships, new habits, and new interests

It’s common for people to become somewhat stagnant in a relationship, occupying their time and energy with their partner. Newly single, now is the time to be pursuing things you’ve allowed to fall by the wayside – new friendships, new habits, new interests.

It may sound like nothing more than a distraction, but building new facets of your life can contribute to a sense of wholeness and identity beyond the relationship you have left behind.

Think about the positives, without denying the negatives

It can be annoying to hear, but there are significant positives to the end of relationships, whether or not you choose to see them. The new relationships, habits, and interests mentioned above are one major bonus.

More broadly, being alone represents an opportunity to get to know yourself as you are now – there’s no hiding behind a partner, so you can interrogate who you are and what you want from life. In the long term, building a level of self-knowledge and self-esteem improves your chances of entering into a mutually fulfilling, healthy relationship in the future.

This all may sound a bit sickly sweet, so it’s important not to attempt to deny the negative feelings you’re experiencing. You have to believe in the positives, not simply use them to distract yourself from the negatives. It’s a balancing act, and it takes time, so most importantly go easy on yourself if a positive outlook doesn’t come naturally to you at this moment.

What Happens When Couples Stop Sleeping Together?

What happens when couples stop sleeping together? If you go by any television show or movie, you’d think relationships are just a conduit for endless sex. With all the time some characters spend in bed, you have to wonder how they hold down a job or have time to eat.

In real life, though, relationships are not so straightforward. Dry spells happen to most every couple. But when those dry spells go on for too long, the things that happen to your relationship when you stop having sex are rarely positive.

This isn’t to say you have to get down and dirty every hour of every day to have a good relationship. Having sex about twice a week is healthy or average for most couples, although there are always variations. And of course, there are plenty of asexuals, or couples with low libidos, who don’t mind going without it for a while.

For many couples, though, sex is a crucial relationship bond, and its absence can be problematic. It’s perfectly normal to desire sex from your partner, and facing a life of apparent abstinence can be pretty dispiriting.

That said, if you know the way sexlessness can hamper your relationship, you’re more likely to work to fix things before they hit the irreparable level. Hopefully, you and your SO can discuss it and find a solution that works for you both.

You Become More Frustrated

This is what happens when couples stop sleeping together. If at least one person in the relationship does want sex, the dry spell can lead to some pretty mixed feelings. As noted on the website for The Today Show, lack of sex can lead to frustration for many people in a relationship. That level of irritation can take some repair work, as well.

You Look For Online Consolation

Almost anything can turn into a community thanks to the internet, and your most private relationship troubles are no exception. As noted in Salon, online communities that seek a solution to what’s known as dead bedrooms are thriving. Your most intimate issues may be aired out to internet strangers (for better or worse).

You Endure A Sex Standoff

What happens when couples stop sleeping together? Sometimes both partners are desirous of a sex life, but they have simply fallen out of the habit. It’s common for the more libidinous partner to give up after a string of rejections, and the other partner does not feel comfortable initiating. Time goes by, and nothing changes. It’s a standoff.

Your Self Esteem Suffers

What happens when couples stop sleeping together? Feeling iced out by your partner can hurt anyone. But as noted on The Huffington Post, straight women in particular may face a painful blow to their self-esteem from a sexless marriage. As further explained by The Huffington Post, the stereotype that “all men are horny all the time” can be a tough one to break.

You Issue Ultimatums

If pushed long enough, the relationship may hit its tipping point. As noted in Psychology Today, this ultimatum may come in the form of couples counseling, or even separation. For what it’s worth, this forces the couple to address the issue.

You May Have An Affair

There is no way around this, because this is what happens when couples stop sleeping together. It may not be entirely fair, but it isn’t surprising. If your relationship goes for years without any sex, then one partner or the other might consider an affair. This can be problematic for people who aren’t in a deliberately open relationship.

You Become Depressed

Again, this kind of situation can lead to some seriously crappy feelings. As noted in the Independent, a sexless relationship can lead to feelings of sadness and depression. You may turn the feelings of rejection back onto yourself.

You Feel Like You’re Missing Out

What happens when couples stop sleeping together? Chances are, a sexless standoff was not what you planned for your relationship. This can make you feel like you’re missing out on a major part of your life. Can you make things work with your current SO? Or should you try to find a more compatible match?

You Have A Real Talk

What happens when couples stop sleeping together? This may be the best-case scenario. The state of your sexless union could drive you and your partner to have a serious discussion about your relationship. Some real honesty about your needs from the relationship could help you both decide where to go next.

Why Does My Boyfriend Not Want To Be Intimate Anymore?

Why does my boyfriend not want to be intimate anymore? Every relationship is different, of course, but for many couples, regular sex is an important part of a fulfilling and healthy relationship.

That’s why it can feel so distressing when your partner doesn’t want to do the deed as often as you do — or worse yet, doesn’t seem interested in making love at all.

It’s even possible that a booming bedroom habit can go bust, and if you’re a woman whose boyfriend or husband doesn’t want to have sex as often as you’d like (or ever), then you’re likely wondering what’s causing his low sex drive. The good news: His loss of libido may have nothing to do with you.

Why does my boyfriend not want to be intimate anymore? What can cause a sudden lack of interest in the bedroom? Certainly, age can (and oftentimes does) have something to do with it — though you may be happy to know that plenty of couples continue to have sex well into their 80s.

But age isn’t the only thing that can cause a man to lose interest in sex. According to the experts, there are plenty of preventable (and treatable!) explanations for a decline in sexual activity. And while health and physical factors may be part of the issue, it’s also possible that your partner isn’t interested in sex for an emotional reason.

From health conditions to relationship problems, there are plenty of reasons why your partner may not feel up for a romp in the sack, and here are just a few explanations for a decreased sex drive in men:

His work life is overwhelming.

Why does my boyfriend not want to be intimate anymore? When you think of a mistress, you likely picture another person entering the picture. But the “mistress” taking up all of your man’s attention and affection could actually be his job.

When men are passionately involved with their careers, they can sublimate sexual excitement that would normally be directed toward their wives. The accolades, money, and ego boost from being regularly praised, or promoted, can be a turn-on.

Try talking to your partner about some ways you can help him balance out his work-life responsibilities and what boundaries you can establish to keep work out of the bedroom. That way, he can (hopefully!) have an easier time keeping his head in the game while you’re getting intimate.

He has lower levels of testosterone.

Why does my boyfriend not want to be intimate anymore? According to a 2016 review published in Urology, testosterone levels decline with age as rapidly as 0.4 to 2 percent annually after age 30. And around 13 percent of the male population has hypogonadism, which is a failure to produce enough testosterone.

In addition to low libido, symptoms of low testosterone can include decreased energy, low mood, fatigue, loss of muscle mass, and even erectile dysfunction.

As many as 97 percent of men who have low testosterone levels report a negative impact on their sex lives. Fortunately, the condition can be treated with hormone replacement therapy, stress management, and counseling.

He’s experiencing male menopause.

According to Mayo Clinic, the term “male menopause,” medically referred to as “andropause,” describes the age-related decrease of testosterone levels in men. Many men find that their interest in sexual connection begins to wane in their 40s and may drop steadily thereafter.

As testosterone levels drop, many men find that they are less interested in sexual intimacy. Not to worry, though — it’s not as sudden or intense as the bodily changes women can sometimes experience later in life.

Why does my boyfriend not want to be intimate anymore? Don’t take it personally if your boyfriend or husband’s sexual interest seems less intense than usual — or even non-existent. The reason may simply be biological, not psychological, and instead of closing up, you should talk to him about his sexual feelings and needs, as well as your own.

He’s looking to pornography for sexual satisfaction.

While plenty of people in healthy sexual relationships watch porn, you may find yourself in trouble if your partner develops a porn addiction. When porn becomes addictive, a man relies on it to become stimulated instead of relying on his spouse. That’s because the neurochemicals flooding a man’s brain when he watches porn (also called eroto-chemicals) can be as addictive as cocaine.

Why does my boyfriend not want to be intimate anymore? Studies have shown that porn fuels unrealistic expectations about what sex should be like. It makes men less satisfied with their partners. Given the easy availability of pornographic material, chronic use of pornography is increasingly found to be related to a drop in sexual desire.

If you suspect that your husband may be relying a bit too much on sexual gratification from pornography, you both work on acknowledging the problem, talking it out, and perhaps taking the necessary steps to meet with a sex therapist for counselling.

He has anxiety about his low sex drive.

Why does my boyfriend not want to be intimate anymore? Sexual drive is a spectrum, and being on the lower end of the libido and sexuality continuum is not a bad or shameful thing. No point on this continuum is particularly positive or negative. What matters most is that partners follow somewhere close to each other on the spectrum.

That’s why tension can arise when one partner is much lower on the spectrum than the other partner, and this anxiety can even lead to erectile dysfunction and other issues that further affect his confidence.

Premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation tend to be common problems for men with erectile dysfunction (ED), and those factors can definitely affect their confidence. Erectile dysfunction, early ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation might have diverse causes but their common factors — a man’s frustration, worry, and feelings of inadequacy — can shut things down sexually between you.

According to WebMD, 95 percent of men with premature ejaculation are helped by behavioural techniques that help control ejaculation, while ED is largely treated with various medications and psychological counseling.

Is It Normal For Couples To Not Go To Bed Together?

Is it normal for couples to not go to bed together? Intimacy (physical and emotional) is necessary for every relationship. Couples who want to experience that deep bond and enjoy a healthy relationship understand the value of spending much time together. One of the avenues through which they can achieve this is by falling asleep together.

This knowledge, however, brings up some questions in many minds. Is it important for couples to go to bed at the same time? What are the dangers of not going to bed with your spouse? Is there any negative thing that happens to couples who don’t sleep together?

Is it normal for couples to not go to bed together? This article will help you lay some of these fears to rest and answer the many questions in your mind.

When you are done, you would know if it is important for couples to go to bed at the same time and also a few things you can do to make this work in your relationship.

For a long time, this has been the subject of many conversations between couples.

Some people believe that it is necessary for couples to go to bed at the same time. On the other side of the pendulum are those who believe that it doesn’t matter and doesn’t affect the relationship in any way.

There isn’t any medical or scientific proof that going to bed at different times is bad for couples (in a non-clinical setting). On the flip side, going to bed at the same time can be a great avenue for achieving intimacy (as indicated early on in this article).

It can also serve many other purposes, as we would discuss in succeeding sections of this article.

However, the key to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship, even if you go to bed at different times, is to understand your individual needs and do your best to respect each other’s preferences.

Regardless, laying in bed together as a couple has a lot of benefits attached to it.

Is it important for couples to go to bed at the same time?

Is it normal for couples to not go to bed together? Here are reasons why couples sleeping together is a great idea and can have many benefits for health and the relationship.

This practice teaches you to follow a schedule and stick to time

This point applies mostly to you if you and your partner are busy people who have to follow a laid-down schedule each day (or if you have multiple engagements each day).

It is easy to curl up on the sofa every night and see ‘just one more episode of your favourite soap opera’ – at the expense of all the goals you have set out to achieve the next day.

Is it normal for couples to not go to bed together? If allowed to continue, this habit can creep into your life and take many things away from you. First off, you’ll find yourself getting less sleep, being grumpy and unproductive the morning after, and this can affect the quality of the work you do.

However, one reason why it is important for couples to go to bed at the same time is so that the resulting schedule can help eliminate habits that stop you from retiring early enough.

When you sleep early and get enough rest, it is easier to keep a clear head and be at your best the next day.

Intimacy

Is it normal for couples to not go to bed together? This is one of the major reasons why couples who don’t sleep together should do their best to remedy this.

Under normal circumstances, going to bed at the same time helps build that deep emotional and physical connection (intimacy) with your partner.

Pillow talk, cuddling, and just being able to gaze into the eyes of someone you love enhances intimacy in ways you may not imagine.

Health benefits

Research has shown that there are many health benefits attached to just going to bed together. First of all, sleeping with your partner (not just having sex with them, but just lying next to them and enjoying some cuddles) stimulates the increased release of oxytocin in the body.

Oxytocin (the love hormone) is known for triggering feelings of empathy, reducing anxiety and blood pressure, and generally making you feel happy/satisfied.

This is probably one of the major reasons why your body may long for this kind of contact with the person you love.

Resolving differences

If you have had a hectic day, or you have had a fight with your partner, there’s every possibility that the residue from the fight you had may want to poke its head into the next day.

However, one reason why it is important for couples to go to bed at the same time is that doing this leaves you no option but to talk things through (more often than not).

If you lie on the same bed with your partner (when you’re angry with them), you may feel the nudge to open up to them about how you feel concerning something.

If you have mastered the art of efficient communication, this step can help you mend fences and sort through differences almost immediately.

Your mental health benefits from this as well

Is it normal for couples to not go to bed together? Another reason you may want to tweak your ‘couple sleeping habits’ to make you go to bed together is that spending time together in bed (even when you aren’t sleeping) has a positive effect on your mental health.

This practice provides an avenue for you to appreciate your partner better, allows your partner to communicate their love and appreciation for you equally, boosts your sense of self-esteem, and helps you eliminate (or significantly reduce) mental stress/anxiety.

It helps you regulate your body temperature during the night

Is it normal for couples to not go to bed together? This benefit of having a warm, living being in your bed – one who is ready to wrap you up and provide some warmth when the night gets cold – is another major benefit couples who go to bed at the same time (and sleep together throughout the night) experience.

This helps reduce the chances that you may fall sick due to adverse weather (when the night gets excessively chilly). In addition, don’t you just love the idea of being able to reach out in the night and feel your fingers brush over your partner’s skin?

Reasons Why Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You Conclusion

Reasons why your partner doesn’t want to sleep with you conclusion. If you feel you need extra help or support, consider going for counselling. A relationship counsellor or a sex therapist will be able to work through these issues with both of you so that you can come to a solution together and find something that works for both of you.

Reasons why your partner doesn’t want to sleep with you conclusion. If the issue is a medical one, such as vaginismus, erectile dysfunction, low energy levels, or side effects of medication, ask your partner if they would like to consider speaking to a GP or medical professional, and offer to support them in this should they wish to do so.

You may be finding this situation difficult, but having an open and honest conversation with your partner is the best way to find way to make this work for both of you.

Above all, remember to never push someone to do something that they are not comfortable with, regardless of their connection to you or what you may have done together in the past. It is never ok to push someone to have sex with you, even a partner.

Further reading

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