Table of Contents hide

1.1 What are the side effects of being an outsider?

1.3 How do you know you are an outsider?

1.4 What is it called when you always feel like an outsider?

1.5 How to fix my outsider complex?

1.6 What is outsider complex?

1.7 Outsider Complex Conclusion

1.8 Further reading

Outsider Complex

Outsider complex Ever felt like the only person in a room full of people?

And regardless of how much you try, you just can’t seem to shake that feeling off. Then you may be experiencing the outsider complex.

What does the Outsider complex mean? This is the feeling that you don’t belong, no matter what. And that even if you’re doing the same activity as everyone else, you just don’t fit in, or they know you are different. Sometimes the feeling is real, and sometimes it is our perception.

Other times, it’s a result of what had happened in the past, such as traumatic events, which can cause a person to develop this psychological behavior.

How many people deal with the Outsider Complex? Research shows that the number of people with this psychological complex is still unknown.

However, an outsider complex can be an isolating experience. It takes a lot of effort and extra attention to help people battling with it.

If there is a new person in your social or working group or someone who lives farther out, a lot of work has to take place to help such individuals transition and fit in.

How do people cope with the Outsider Complex? People with this complex find it a lot harder to find themselves accepting of their counterparts.

In a classroom setting or among their peers, they prefer to shy away from a large crowd or even speak to anyone. As a result, they might end up lonely for a long period.

Although they might be great individuals with awesome personalities, they are too shy to open up and express themselves. Rather, they find comfort in solitude.

Most people with the Outsider Complex are physically and emotionally different from other members of the family.

In the case of Margaret a fair, blond, and blue-eyed in a family where all the members had dark hair, dark eyes, and heavier bodily frames. She was emotionally independent by nature and was an “I’ll do it myself” kind of kid in a community in which the female members were docile and compliant, as was fitting their cultural norm.

Such contrast between family members and society can make you alone in the world and therefore usher you into an outsider complex.

What are the side effects of being an outsider?

What are the side effects of being an outsider? Most times, people who are outsiders are often unable to handle being lonely (or not included) and end up experiencing depression and other mental health issues.

Psychologists have found that, as human beings, we have a fundamental need for inclusion and close relationships. Without this, it may seriously affect an outsider’s life, as well as their mental/physical well-being.

What are the side effects of being an outsider? There are a large number of negative side effects, and people with the outsider complex battle with each of these side effects;

1. Depression: Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. This psychological disorder can cause one to think and behave in a way that can lead to various emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel like life isn’t worth living.

Outsider Complex slowly propels an individual into a stage of depression, affecting the way that individual thinks and even productivity.

Notable symptoms of depression include anger, sadness, emptiness, loss of interest in pleasure, frustration, and so on. Depression isn’t a weakness and can be treated through therapy.

Increased risk of suicide: Suicide can be connected to other forms of injury and violence. For example, people who have experienced violence, including child abuse, bullying, or sexual violence, have a higher suicide risk.

However, such traumatic occurrences can trigger an individual to recoil and find solitude in loneliness, thereby increasing the chances of committing suicide.

Higher level of success: According to scientific research, people who prefer to be alone most of the time perform better than their counterparts.

Solitude gives an individual the opportunity to think through every action you are about to take. The individual can be willing to stand for anything he/she wants to commit to. Solitude helps you find your voice and your identity instead of following the pack.

Although the Outsider complex is a psychological disorder, a proper understanding of the person’s personality can attract success in many ways.

What are the side effects of being an outsider?

Social interaction is not as positive as others: Everyone indeed needs social connections to survive and thrive. But as people with an Outsider complex, they often find themselves spending more time alone.

Unfortunately, being alone quite often may leave older adults more vulnerable to loneliness and social isolation, which can affect their health and well-being.

Studies show that loneliness and social isolation are associated with higher risks for health problems such as heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline.

According to a report, people with an Outsider Complex tend to perceive their social interactions as more negative and respond negatively.

What are the side effects of being an outsider? So these negative perceptions could keep someone in that cycle of loneliness because they are expecting the interaction is going to go poorly, and then they may act in a way that is not fun to be around. As a result, the person they interact with doesn’t want to be around them.

Raises levels of stress hormones and blood pressure: The major symptom of a person with an Outer complex is loneliness. Research has shown that the brains of lonely people demonstrate different reactions to stress than others. A situation that would be mildly stressful for most, such as public speaking, causes the release of epinephrine. This response is similar in both lonely and non-lonely individuals.

However, those who experience loneliness exhibit greater nervous system activity, which results in the release of cortisol. Lonely people experience this heightened activity throughout the day rather than only during stressful moments.

Their brains seem to constantly be on high alert for threats. The result is higher levels of cortisol, which causes more wear and tear on the cardiovascular system.

If this keeps up, an individual with this level of stress can experience a cardiac arrest which can eventually lead to death.

What are the side effects of being an outsider? The Outsider complex has other side effects, most of which are negative and bear grave psychological, emotional, and medical consequences.

Hence, why it is important to get treatment and manage the complex.

What makes a person an outsider?

What makes a person an outsider? If you are reading this piece, you already suspect that you have an outsider complex. But you can be so sure because certain behavioral patterns signify that you are an outsider;

Sensitivity as a very young child

The outsider complex begins in childhood. Most times, children who grow up to have this complex tend to be acutely aware of their surroundings, as well as others’ responses to their actions and words.

They see their surroundings from a mirror and are very observant, reading the body language of people before bottling up in their little comfort haven: their thoughts.

What makes a person an outsider? According to research, one-in-five toddlers experience early-life social reticence – meaning they interact less, cry more, perceive threats more readily, and are acutely shy with strangers. And while half will develop social competence by childhood, half will remain ‘behaviourally inhibited’ – potentially into early adulthood or late adulthood.

Values Confusion:

Values are our core beliefs and are the things that matter most to us in our lives—our aspirations and ideals.

Every human on planet earth should be guided by a set of core values, and one without them will end up confused, resentful, and finally feel out of place.

Most times, people with no values hang around with their peers with conflicting values altogether, thereby making them lonely and chronologically disconnected from events.

What makes a person an outsider? In Brenda’s case, she has always felt the need to belong to something or somewhere since her parent’s divorce. After meeting Paul, her extroverted boyfriend who likes to party, she still feels like no one can hear her or understand her properly.

With no values to guide her decisions, she has fallen deeper into the outsider complex as time goes by.

In worst-case scenarios, she might want to find solace in drugs just to live in the moment.

Poor Self-Awareness:

What makes a person an outsider? Although self-awareness is overused by a lot of famous motivational speakers. A lot of individuals still battle with the term.

The proposed definition by Shelly Ducal and Robert Wilkins states:

“Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don’t align with your internal standards. If you’re highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behaviour with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.”

Self-awareness is the ability to be aware of your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, expectations, desires, etc.

The absence of self-awareness and not having control of things that matter to you can cause loneliness.

What makes a person an outsider? Oftentimes lack of self-awareness comes from not feeling connected on a deep level with other people around you. Similarly, you can end up feeling lonely when you’re not connected genuinely with yourself. Because many people are essentially afraid of their minds, they get into the habit of ignoring their minds and staying distracted from their thoughts and feelings. This often results in low self-awareness—and along with it, loneliness.

To become self-aware, you have to find your purpose, and finding it is a process. Everyone has talents and interests that are of value; it’s just a matter of finding them and putting your focus there.

How do you know you are an outsider?

How Do You Know If You’re An Outsider? Outsiders get so comfortable in their skin that they do not even realize that they have a social problem.

Here is how to know if you are an outsider:

Experiencing Divorce as a child:

A messy divorce can have a negative effect on both parents. When it comes to a child, feeling alienated in early development can stem from strained early-life family relationships, leading to role confusion within the family.

Divorce can be a difficult time for a family. Not only do the parents realize new ways of relating to each other, but they are learning new ways to parent their children. When parents divorce, the effects of divorce on children can vary. While some children react to divorce in a natural and understanding way, other children may struggle to cope with the transition.

Younger siblings are more prone to such feelings, although parental favoritism, divorce, or family estrangement within communities can all generate that crucial ‘disconnection’ that separates us from our brethren.

It is most likely that a person who has undergone such a nasty divorce as a child will become withdrawn and feel like an outsider in the family.

Neglect and selfishness by parents can contribute massively to the psychological well-being of an individual.

Feeling misunderstood:

How Do You Know If You’re An Outsider? The majority of outsiders started as being misunderstood by people close to them. Especially if it’s from family. The pain of this can become overwhelming and cause a change in the psychological and social behaviour of the child.

Many grow up in an atmosphere of confusion, which, in the maelstrom of family life, can go unnoticed – resulting in them feeling misunderstood. This becomes exacerbated at school, which can result in behavioural issues that, ultimately, further separate them from the pack.

Dislike of authority:

Rebellion is an attitude associated with outsiders. They believe that since” you can’t join them, beat them”.

Rebels, without a cause, rail against any imposition of authority almost instinctively. whether parents, teachers, community organizers, or even people in uniform, the outsider will question their authority and answer back that can last right through to adulthood.

The despise for authority makes them disobedient and lackadaisical. Hence putting them in a lot of trouble and causing further gaps between them and their peers.

Distorted empathy:

How Do You Know If You’re An Outsider? Outsiders love the bad guys. They can be cynical, distrustful, and disrespectful of social structures, which can lead them to question or even rail against societal norms.

However, Such a distorted worldview can include empathising with some of society’s more unsavoury elements, such as criminals, terrorists, and even lone crazies shooting-up shopping malls.

Outsiders can understand the mix of isolation, frustration, and anger that can lead to such extreme acts, even if we’d never consider undertaking such awful deeds.

They might likely be horror fanatics or have awful thoughts of happenings but can never really bring themselves to carry out such acts.

But they are comfortable with cooking up wild imaginations and locking themselves in their world.

Identity issues in adolescence

How Do You Know If You’re An Outsider? Identity serves a few purposes that help us live and be well. Having a sense of identity lends itself to a sense of belonging. If we know how we define ourselves, it’s easier to find communities and places where we feel like we belong.

But there is a certain stage in a person’s life where they go through an identity crisis.

If you are confused about what an identity crisis is, it is a period of uncertainty or utter confusion.

When a person becomes insecure or unstable, an identity crisis occurs.

Most people pass through this stage and discover purpose and identity. Still, for others, the oh-so-embarrassing agonies of becoming an adult during adolescence can separate them from their peers.

Such feelings generate a potential ‘identity crisis’ that can remain unresolved throughout adulthood.

How do you know if you are an outsider? Outsiders have specific traits, but one major trait that they have is the fact that they are loners and are comfortable being that way.

What is it called when you always feel like an outsider?

What is it called when you always feel like an outsider? You can develop an isolating disorder. Which can result in many years spent feeling separate from other people and like an outsider in social situations. These feelings linger from childhood and continue into adulthood, although they have changed.

What is it called when you feel like an outsider? From childhood, some struggle to connect with new people. Many times, feeling paralyzed with anxiety and shyness around people of all ages. Meeting and interacting with new people become paralyzing, so it becomes much more difficult when the child turns into a teenager, moves to high school, and has to make new friends from scratch.

What is it called when you feel like an outsider? This period marks the beginning of shyness, and the person tends to become very quiet and is unsure of whether to join a conversation or not. For fear of having nothing interesting to say.

At this stage, many adolescents with outsider complex experience symptoms of mental illness such as chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and chronically low self-esteem.

Many experience sudden outbursts in public and frequent fights within their circle. The common feeling of emotional isolation from others due to differences in emotional behavior.

Teenagers and young adults also struggle with desperately low self-worth and self-hatred. Believing in being bad people and not deserving love and happiness like the other people around them.

What is it called when you feel like an outsider? For instance, throughout the first part of Jane’s life, she often felt like an outsider, separate from other people. She wanted to connect and feel close to others, but She always felt like there was something fundamentally wrong with her.

She often feels separated from other people because of the way she experiences emotions. She could view her paralysing anxiety, explosive anger, and shifting emotions from the outside and notice how most people respond to emotional stimulation in ways different from me.

Although she now has more control over my emotional state, many other people seem more emotionally well-adjusted through her eyes.

She believed that the years of self-loathing and low self-esteem have also affected how she connected with other people. Although she has more confidence and social skills now, she often feels like her input isn’t worthwhile in a conversation.

She stays quiet and listens because she worries that she has nothing valuable to offer. Because of this, she often feels like she is standing outside and watching other people interact around her.

In this case, she feels desperate to connect with others but sometimes without the skills or sense of self-worth to do so effectively.

What is it called when you feel like an outsider? Feeling like an outsider means that you are likely to have an outsider complex. As discussed, this complex has several symptoms that can cause social anxiety and disorder if it’s not curbed and managed effectively.

How to fix my outsider complex?

How to fix my outsider complex? Feeling like an outsider is something most of us will go through at some point in our lives.

Having an outsider complex can be managed and eliminated if you follow these steps judiciously.

Get to know a specific person in the group

Feeling connected with a group can be a whole lot of work. So the best way to form relationships is to Try to break them down by forming closer one-to-one relationships with the people around you. This technique can work equally well at work, with friends, or with your family.

Select three people from your group and make an intentional effort to get to know them better. Spend time with time; you can have lunch, watch movies or attend a concert together.

Focus on trying to be closer friends with those three by opening up and allowing them to see the real you.

Devote some minutes per day to practise social skills

If you struggle to form close friendships in a one-to-one situation as well as in a group, you might want to work on your social skills.

Spending a little bit of time improving your ability to make small talk, form friendships, and overcome awkwardness can help you to feel confident that others will like and accept you.

Try to devote at least 10 minutes per day to learning more about social skills and 10 minutes per day practicing using those skills.

You should consider creating a reading list of articles that might help you and set yourself daily targets. For example, you might aim to smile at your dog and greet your neighbor daily for a week.

Organise social events:

if you want to deal with the outsider complex, you have to put yourself out there by organising social events.

If your feelings of being isolated come from the feeling that you’re always the last to be invited to events, try to arrange some of them yourself. In organised groups, such as sports clubs, you could offer to help the social secretary by arranging nights out or fundraising events.

Respect others’ values and expect the same in return.

We can easily feel like outsiders when we have different beliefs and values from the people around us. This is especially difficult when dealing with close family.

You might be tempted to try to hide your different beliefs to make it easier for you to fit in. This can work for a little while, but you are more likely to end up feeling like even more of an outsider. You can end up thinking, “they only like me because they don’t know the real me”.

Holding different values doesn’t mean that you can’t feel included. The important thing is that everyone needs to treat each other’s beliefs with respect. Make it clear that you respect their values and that you expect the same in return.

The next time you feel that your values make you feel like an outsider, try saying, “I know we disagree about that, but I think we can all agree that…”

For example, with your family, you might say

“I know we disagree about the details of politics, but I think we can all agree that politicians need to work together to achieve the best for everyone.”

Try to solve issues that isolate you

Some problems, such as a language barrier or not being familiar with the culture, can lead you to feel isolated and alone. If this is a factor in your feelings of isolation, consider ways to solve that problem directly.

Many language classes also offer guidance on cultural norms. They can also give you a sense of belonging within the class, as others are likely to be experiencing the same difficulties that you are.

Other practical problems include living too far away from your social group or not having much money for socializing. We have advice on how to have more close friends, including overcoming lots of these issues.

If in doubt, talk to your social group about these problems. If you’re not sure how to bring it up, try something like

“I’d like to spend more time with you guys, but I know me living so far away makes it difficult. Do you guys have any ideas?”

Know that it takes time to feel included

Don’t be in a hurry to socialise because it takes time to come out of your shell and mix with people.

How to fix my outsider complex? If you have felt like an outcast in the past, you can become very sensitive to feeling excluded now. There are some situations, such as starting a new job, where most people will feel a little bit like an outsider. If you find yourself feeling rejected very quickly when getting to know a new group, you might want to adjust your expectations.

It can often take a few months to feel that you are a full member of a group. Try to avoid negative self-talk, such as

“They’ll never like me anyway. I don’t know why I’m even bothering”

Instead, try saying

“I know this is taking longer than I would like, but making new friends is worth the effort”

Try positive talk

Feeling like an outsider can come from not having the confidence to trust that other people want you around. Improving your self-esteem and confidence can be a long-term task, but every step gets you closer to your goal.

It can be tough to improve your self-confidence whilst feeling like an outsider. The feelings of isolation can often become something you berate yourself with during negative self-talk.

How to fix my outsider complex? Pay attention to the things you say to yourself. Try not to get frustrated or angry when you notice that you’ve slipped into negative self-talk. Try to correct yourself and move on. For example, if you say to yourself.

“No one wants me around. I’m not good enough.”

Try to stop, and say to yourself.

“I know it feels like that, and it hurts. It’s not true, though. I’m a kind and caring friend, and people do want me around. I’m just learning to believe it.”

Be accepting of others’ differences

Acceptance has a way of drawing people closer to you. Ideally, you want to highlight the things that you have in common whilst being relaxed about ways in which you are different.

People will usually react much better to differences if you treat them as inconsequential. If you seem embarrassed or uncomfortable about your preferences or judgmental about theirs, they will probably see it as a bigger deal. For example, if someone talks about the music they like, I probably won’t know most of the songs (unless they share my particular niche). Instead of saying:

“I don’t know them. I hate all chart music.”

carefully acknowledge the difference.

9. Seek help with anxiety or depression

How to fix my outsider complex? Anxiety and depression can both lead you to feel excluded from social groups. No matter how much others tell you they want you around you to think that you may be depressed or suffering from social anxiety, talk to your doctor.

Both medication and therapy have been found to be helpful in overcoming feelings of social withdrawal and isolation that come from anxiety or depression.?

How to fix my outsider complex? Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to seek help.

What is outsider complex?

What is outsider complex? This is the psychological disorder that occurs as a result of trauma, family issues, bullying, or other external forces that can affect an individual social interaction. Such individuals feel invincible when they enter a room.

What is outsider complex? An outsider complex is a feeling of not belonging or fitting in with a certain group or society. It can cause feelings of isolation, alienation, and inferiority.

What is outsider complex? Some people may develop an outsider complex due to their experiences of discrimination or marginalization, while others may feel this way due to their self-perception or personality.

What is outsider complex? It can lead to feelings of isolation, alienation, and low self-esteem. People with outsider complexes need to seek support, whether it be from friends, family, or professionals, to help them navigate and overcome these feelings.

What is outsider complex? Having a support system can help them process their feelings and provide them with guidance and perspective. It can also help them to feel less isolated and more understood. Professional support, such as therapy or counselling, can also be beneficial in addressing underlying issues and developing coping mechanisms.

Outsider Complex Conclusion

Outsider complex conclusion. If you are battling with an outsider complex, there are several ways to gradually overcome this, and you do not need to be in a hurry.

Outsider complex conclusion. With patience and consistency, you can improve your social life and relationships with others.

Further reading

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