I Feel Like Love Is Not Meant For Me Posted byMiss Date Doctor February 4, 2023 Table of Contents hide 1 I Feel Like Love Is Not Meant For Me 1.1 Why Is Love Not Meant For Everyone? 1.2 How Do You Know If You’re Not Meant For Someone? 1.3 How Do You Know If Your Love Is Meant To Be? 1.4 How Do You Know If You’re Not Meant To Be In A Relationship? 1.4.1 I Feel Like Love Is Not Meant For Me Conclusion 1.5 Further reading I Feel Like Love Is Not Meant For Me I feel like love is not meant for me. They say the path of true love is never smooth, but how rough should it be? This whole love, romance, and dating thing can be a rough road. Many of us may think “I feel like love is not meant for me” after experiencing disappointment, rejection, and heartbreak. We may believe that if it hasn’t happened by now, there’s something wrong with us or that it will never happen. Reasons why you believe love isn’t for you You’ve been hurt before. It may not be much consolation, but heartbreak is one of the most universal of all human emotions. Over 80% of us will have our hearts broken at some point in our lives. If you’ve been through it, you know it’s the worst, with many stages of heartbreak to overcome. So it’s perhaps unsurprising that the pain of heartbreak can cause us to behave strangely. That state is linked to neurotic tendencies, anxious attachments, and avoidant attachments. Heartbreak can also cause physical stress on the body, resulting in appetite changes, lack of motivation, weight loss or gain, overeating, headaches, stomach pain, and a general feeling of being ill. Is it any surprise, then, that past heartbreak can influence how we react to and perceive love in the future? It’s natural to be think “I feel like love is not meant for me” about whether you’ll ever find love again after a recent breakup. Because of the negative mental state we’re in, we can easily panic and believe we’ve lost our only chance at love. This is not the case, no matter how “real” it feels at the time. We just need some time to believe that there is plenty of fish in the sea. Carrying emotional baggage from failed relationships can make it difficult to find love again. Healing old wounds and practicing forgiveness (both to yourself and to your ex) can help you feel more hopeful about love again. This is a process that will require patience, self-compassion, and gentleness. You’re terrified. Even when we say we want to find love, many of us are also afraid of it and feel “I feel like love is not meant for me”. As a result, we may find ourselves self-sabotaging when it appears that love is on its way, or fleeing when someone gets too close. When a part of our brain believes that we need to be protected, defense mechanisms kick in. After all, loving and being loved can make one feel extremely vulnerable. When we think we want to love but can’t seem to find it or things just don’t work out, it can be beneficial to do some soul-searching: At first, we may believe that the absence of love brings us some kind of reward. However, when you dig beneath the surface, you usually find it is. For example, you don’t have to put yourself out there and expose yourself to the possibility of being hurt or rejected. If you “settle down,” you may be afraid of losing yourself or your independence. Perhaps you are not as emotionally available as you believe. You’re not settling (which is a good thing) Do you ever feel like everyone else is in a relationship except you? Maybe you have a friend who never seems to be single and always seems to be in a relationship. It might make you wonder why that isn’t the case for you. However, if you look closely, you will notice that many people are in bad relationships simply because they are afraid of being alone. They would rather have a bad relationship than no relationship at all. If you have high self-esteem and self-worth, your relationship expectations are likely to be high. I feel like love is not meant for me. Love may seem more elusive to you simply because you have high standards. You aren’t desperate, and you value yourself. That’s fantastic. Rather than grabbing the first Tom, Dick, or Harry who walks by, you prefer to wait for a partnership you believe you deserve. While falling in love is a wonderful feeling, it is not the be-all and end-all of life. Not being in love can be a lifestyle choice in many ways. You may be prioritizing something else right now, such as your career, travel, or personal development. That doesn’t mean you’re not meant to find love; it simply means it will come when you’re ready for it. You’re being overly optimistic. I blame our childhood exposure to fairytales and rom-com’s. Because there is no denying that we have an overly romanticized view of love as a society. I feel like love is not meant for me. The problem is that this does not correspond to reality. It can instill in us unrealistic and unfair love expectations. We want our Prince or Princess, but all we get is a regular flawed fellow human being. We expect far too much from romantic love because we place so much emphasis on it in our lives. We want love to complete, fulfill, and satisfy us. When this does not happen, we may feel cheated. We begin to doubt that we have “found the one” when we face difficulties or another person fails to fulfill all of our desires. Even if you think you’ve found your “other half,” the truth is that no one is your “other half.” Your happiness will always be your responsibility, and it will never be dependent on being in love with someone. Many of us attempt to use love as a shortcut to happiness and fulfillment in our own lives. But when we do this, we are almost always disappointed sooner or later. You are concerned that you will not be liked. Many of us, deep down inside “I feel like love is not meant for me”, an unspoken fear… It is the reason that so many people react negatively to being loved. Many of us have feelings of “not enoughness.” We can base our sense of self-worth on a variety of external factors, including what we believe others think of us, our job title, our relationship status, and so on. It makes us feel insecure if we believe we are simply not stacking up. Sometimes the notion that you are unlovable and you think “I feel like love is not meant for me” becomes ingrained in you. A core belief is an assumption we form based on past experiences that becomes so deeply ingrained that we act as if it is true (even though it is frequently incorrect). You’ve been hurt or rejected a few times in the past, so you subconsciously conclude on some level that you’re not meant to be loved. Admitting to yourself that you may feel unlovable is the first step toward permanently removing this false core belief. Why Is Love Not Meant For Everyone? Why is love not meant for everyone? The truth is that some people are incapable of, and will never be capable of, loving someone in the most common sense of the word. So, let us begin with love. What is the definition of love? Forget about how it makes you feel, the thoughts it seems to elicit, and the chemical reactions. Let us consider love as a means to an end. Why do we, as humans, fall in love? Of course, it makes us feel fantastic, so we clearly love it – at least in part – because it gives us pleasure. There are, however, more practical reasons why we love and choose to be in a relationship. Why is love not meant for everyone? Loving is, in large part, making sense of an agreement, a partnership between two people. It’s the glue that holds people together – not only the reason for being together, but also the means by which they can be together. We like it because it makes being in a partnership more enjoyable and allows our egos to make sense of collaborating with another person – another person with an ego of his or her own. We’d have a hard time trusting others if we didn’t have love. We wouldn’t be able to stay in such partnerships that relationships allow if we couldn’t trust others. You may be wondering: Do we, as humans, really need to be in relationships? Do we even need to form any kind of relationship? Do we need to interact with others? The answer to this question answers our first question: Is there truly someone out there for everyone? The truth is that not everyone requires or is capable of working in a team. There are those who, due to their mental state, are unable to be a part of such an organization. There are people in this world who have never known and will never know what it is like to be truly in love, to set aside their egos in order to bond with another person in the only way humanly possible. Why is love not meant for everyone? Is it unfathomable to believe that there is at least one person in the world who lives, has ever lived, or will ever live who is physically incapable of functioning in a loving relationship because of the unique combination of nature and nurture that has made them who they are? Is it possible that a person exists who will never find another person to spend his or her life with because he or she is unable to put the needs of another person ahead of his or her own? It could be for a variety of reasons, such as this person’s inability to work closely and respectfully with another person, or his or her inability to communicate effectively. This person may lack social skills and have egotistical tendencies that prevent him or her from caring about another person in the same way that he or she cares about himself or herself… Is it really that difficult to imagine a personality that no one else could possibly love and live with for the rest of their lives? I’m sure none of us will have difficulty imagining such a character. Consider arranging all of the different types of personalities, from the worst of the worst to the most compatible and capable of loving and caring for others, on a spectrum. On one end, there are those who are incapable of empathizing, those who have been so thoroughly messed up that they no longer love themselves, let alone anyone else. On the other end of the spectrum, there are those who not only can or want to be in a relationship, part of a team that functions as a single living unit, but who require such an organism to survive. There are people in this world who struggle to live completely on their own. Of course, both cases are extreme; however, what matters most is understanding what happens in between. We have everybody else in between the two extremes of being completely incapable of loving and completely incapable of surviving as a lone organism. Everyone else, on the other hand, is not a single category. They, too, are on the spectrum. Each of us is a person on this spectrum, with some of us closer to one end of the spectrum than the other. Some are still floating around in the center. The important thing to realize is that the closer our personalities are to those at the far end of the spectral spectrum, the more or less capable we are of being part of a symbiotic relationship. Why is love not meant for everyone? Is there, then, someone for everyone? Obviously not. Is there someone out there for the majority of people? There is, indeed. However, this does not guarantee that you will find that special someone. Unfortunately, most of life is based on chance. You might meet someone who wants to be with you. Some people are compatible and willing to work with those on the lower half of the spectrum, whereas many, if not the majority, are not. Why is love not meant for everyone? The truth is that if you want to be in a loving relationship, you must be more of one personality type and less of another. We may be interested in different types of people, but when it comes to love, we are all looking for the same thing. Love is love; some of us are less capable of it because of the emotions it evokes in us. The good news is that people can change if we want them to. But, in order to do so, we must like the person we want to become more than the person we are now. How Do You Know If You’re Not Meant For Someone? How do you know if you’re not meant for someone? Sometimes a relationship can tick all the boxes and meet all the conditions but something still feels off. No matter how much two people wish they could be together, you can’t force something that’s not meant to work. Read on for eight signs that you’re just not meant to be with someone. Everything feels difficult. When something is meant to be, there tends to be a natural flow. And when something doesn’t quite fit, everything around it becomes difficult. You’ll know that you don’t actually belong with someone when everything in the relationship just feels like a huge chore. Organizing schedules, agreeing on date activities, coordinating life plans, and everything else will feel forced and unnatural. Think of it as a puzzle. Certain pieces fit and when you try to force the ones that don’t, it’s uncomfortable. This is the Universe’s way of screaming at you that it’s not right. You don’t feel like a team. A couple should be a team. You might each have different roles that suit you better, or maybe you share everything equally. But for all intents and purposes, you are a team. How do you know if you’re not meant for someone? You don’t belong with each other when it feels like a one-way street, where one person does all the work. Or one person does all the crying. Those feelings of unbalance can mean that you’re not on the same page and you don’t fit together properly. Little problems seem really big. How do you know if you’re not meant for someone? If you’re not meant to be with someone, little problems will seem much bigger than they are. You’ll have a gut feeling that you don’t suit each other well, so you might subconsciously always be looking for a reason to break up with them. Through those lenses, the smallest challenges will seem impossible to overcome. You might constantly find yourself wondering whether you really want to stay with that person. You compare them to your exes. Do you always compare your new partner to your ex? Or a few exes? That could be a sign that you don’t actually fit together like a puzzle. Although people compare to their exes for all sorts of reasons, when you really belong with someone, you won’t second-guess them all the time. You’ll be secure with them rather than looking back and wondering what it would have been like if you were still with someone else. Fighting feels like the end of the world. All healthy couples have fights from time to time. But when you fight with someone you really belong with, you find a way to recover. Even from the really bad fights, you both do what you can to fix it. How do you know if you’re not meant for someone? By contrast, when you’re with the wrong person for you, the fights can feel like the end of the world. It can feel like you’re an inch away from breaking up every time you disagree. Their flaws bother you. I feel like love is not meant for me. We all have a list of preferences that we’d like in our ideal partner. Some people like dark hair and others like blonde. Funny or nerdy. Tall or short. The truth is, though, when you meet the right person, those little conditions don’t really matter. When you like someone enough and you actually belong with them, their “flaws” are just insignificant details that you overlook. But when you’re not meant to be, those flaws tend to stand out. They matter because you don’t feel strongly enough about that person for them not to matter. You have different values. I feel like love is not meant for me. It’s totally fine for a couple to have differences. Those differences can actually work really well together. But when a couple has different values, it can really cause a lot of issues. For example, if one person dreams of a life spent traveling and finding adventure, and the other longs for a house in the suburbs, there’s going to either be one unhappy person or a clash. Different values can sometimes indicate that it’s not meant to work out. Something just feels off. How do you know if you’re not meant for someone? They say that when you meet the one, you’ll just know it. The same goes for a relationship that’s not quite right. Although it all might appear to be working out well on the surface, something will just feel off. You might not be able to pinpoint exactly what it is. If you listen to your intuition and gut feelings, you’ll already know that you don’t belong with that person. You dream of being with someone else. If you dream of having someone else, it’s a pretty clear sign that you’re you don’t truly belong with your current partner. No one deserves a partner whose heart is elsewhere. At the same time, no one deserves to be in a relationship that they don’t actually want to be in. Those feelings just show that you don’t belong together, even if you appear to on the outside. How Do You Know If Your Love Is Meant To Be? How do you know if your love is meant to be? Often people want to be given clear-cut signs you’re meant to be together with a partner. That’s a reasonable expectation whether it’s been a couple of dates or a several month time-frame. No one wants to waste time and effort if it’s going nowhere. What those who have experienced being “meant for each other” can tell you is, it’s not all about physical attraction nor physical intimacy. It is an instant familiarity, a “click,” almost like you know this person, an immediate comfortability that has not been experienced with another partner. We’ll get deeper into it as we go. What Is the Meaning Behind A “Meant To Be” Relationship? Genuine meant-to-be love is somewhat different than the pants-on-fire, urgency that tends to turn out to be an infatuation in many instances, often running its course in a matter of months or perhaps longer. In attempting to define a relationship where two people are meant to be together, it’s almost like being introduced to a close friend or family member who was missing. You know you sincerely don’t know this person, but they need to be part of your life. How do you know if your love is meant to be? Each of you feels an instant connection, a comfortability that neither of you has ever experienced, and both of you can be who exactly you are with no pretense. There’s an instant sense you could spend your life with this person despite the fact there will be differences and hurdles to get through because all relationships have these, even one of pure love with two people meant to be together. How do you know if your love is meant to be? You will know when you meet them. It’s difficult to explain to other people unless you’ve gone through having the not-meant-to-be partnership and then the meant-to-be experience. It’s exceptionally surreal. The person will undoubtedly feel like someone you already know, someone you’ve met, or a close friend or family member you might not have seen for a while. There will be instant comfortability and familiarity. The time that you spend with this person will indeed be peaceful. You’ll experience contentment and fulfillment without the need to use vices to fill voids, but you’ll also be able to spend time apart without any resentment. There’s no pretense, just normalcy. The signs might be subtle, or they could be exceptionally bold for couples that are meant to be together. Some signs you are destined to be together might include: There is no pretense No one is pretending to be something they’re not in “if it’s meant to be, it will be relationships” from the first day forward. There are no nervous knots in the stomach, no feelings of worry about sharing information. It’s almost as if you want to tell your best friend all your secrets, and you know you’ll be safe in doing so. You’ll notice a sense of balance between the two of you How do you know if your love is meant to be? One of you might be a bit more gregarious while the other could be somewhat more subdued, but together the balance is immensely satisfying. Where one has a particular set of strengths, the other might carry an opposite set of strengths. Together weaknesses are diminished. Each finds a semblance of safety together You can share secrets, tell what you might consider wild dreams, admit where you feel you’ve failed, and discuss hopes for the future without fear of judgment because there is safety with your vulnerabilities. Neither of you questions, “are we meant for each other” The feeling is mutual that there is a definitive connection and a sense of being “at home” when in the same room. It’s almost as if no one else is around because you’re caught up in the presence of the other person, conversation, laughter, friendship, and love. There is also friendship and enjoying the other person’s company with genuine, pure love. You know you could go anywhere having a great time, and live with this person with the feeling of home no matter where you go. That in no way means there won’t be ups and downs or arguments. Love is not perfect, and no one should anticipate that. But these are merely serving as signs you’re destined to be together. The quirks and flaws are evident but accepted How do you know if your love is meant to be? No one wants to change the other person; instead, accepting and appreciating what is unique. Each person will come with specific habits or things they might do differently. If these go without arguments or battles, you can count that as signs you were meant to be together. For instance, a nonsmoker accepts a smoker, but they discuss fear for his health and possible loss of life. From that point forward, there is mutual love and respect for the partner’s decision. Exclusivity Without speaking of exclusivity, neither person desires to continue looking for another person to fulfill them. When you fall in love with someone for who they are, this person is already all things for you, including the best friend, confidant, mentor, lover, soulmate, and more. If you see no reason to make any changes with your partner or validations, justifications, nor do they for you, you can say we were meant to be together. Independent time is okay too You don’t need to spend every waking moment with this person. Each of you has your space and enjoys individual activities, friends, extended family time without the other person, happily and with no repercussions. Jealousy is never an issue Because you feel so comfortable with each other and the partnership, there is never a time that either of you feels insecure within yourself or with the other person’s feelings for you. It’s reasonable to point out the attractiveness of other people comfortably in a discussion without fear of retaliation. Laughter is healthy and should be a part of each day If two people are meant to be together, they should be able to laugh at or with each other in any given situation. Laughter relieves stress and, in general, brings feelings of happiness; it’s overall simply healthy mind. The right partner will get your sense of humor pretty much right away. Working on the relationship takes two people Despite having all the signs you’re meant to be together, you will still have challenges as any couple does. The difference is that each of you will want to put forth an honest effort to find ways to work through those problems and come out healthier and more robust for them. Encouragement, motivation, and support are always available While your partner enjoys the person you are, and you don’t feel you have to pretend to be anyone else or change who you are, a good partner is always an inspiration. That isn’t an indication that the partner wants you to be someone else. It merely means partner encourage you to grow towards your dreams and move forward into the goals that you set for yourself. As a partner, you should serve as motivation for your significant other to do the same. How Do You Know If You’re Not Meant To Be In A Relationship? How do you know if you’re not meant to be in a relationship? While being in a relationship with another person can be fulfilling, it shouldn’t necessarily be the end-all-be-all of interpersonal relationships. Not everyone is ready for a relationship and all that one would entail – good communication, dedication, commitment, and maturity. Jumping into a relationship before you are ready could be unnecessarily and heedlessly disastrous, and making sure that you’re ready to share your life with someone else before you actually go ahead and do so is an important stage of life that shouldn’t be skipped. You find it hard to compromise. When you think to youeself “I feel like love is not meant for me” this is a huge sign that you shouldn’t be in a relationship just yet. Most relationships are about compromise and finding balance between two people – two personalities, two lifestyles, two sets of values. Not everything will be black and white, and it’s important to be able to sacrifice some of what you want so that everyone involves is happy with the ultimate outcome. If you find yourself unable to see life through another person’s point of view, or if you stubbornly cling to that old adage, “It’s my way or the highway”, you may want to step back and reanalyze this component of your behavior. You have issues with communication. Hand in hand with compromise, communication is also essential to a healthy relationship. Your partner is your partner, not a mind reader, and it’s important to be able to communicate and convey your feelings openly with them, rather than keeping things bottled up or expecting your partner to magically know what’s on your mind. These issues can range from big to small, but it’s equally important in each case to simply just tell your partner what you are feeling. Petty squabbles over seemingly trivial issues can build up over time and create a toxic or unenjoyable atmosphere. So making sure to cut these problems off at the root before they fester is key to maintaining an open, healthy relationship where both parties are comfortable with themselves and their partner. Your time management is poor. How do you know if you’re not meant to be in a relationship? Being in a relationship means having to prioritize and manage your schedule, time, energy, and resources efficiently and effectively. If you tend to procrastinate on work, then at the end of the day, any free time you have will be spent trying to catch up, rather than being free to spend time with your partner. Make sure that you are able to take care of what needs to be taken care of, when it needs to be completed. That way, nothing will pile up and you will be free to allocate your free time as you choose, rather than never having the chance or opportunity to spend time with your partner because you were slacking off. You aren’t able to love yourself on your own. This may seem a little counterintuitive – after all, isn’t your partner suppose to be the one who validates you, and boosts your self-confidence? Well, yes, but it’s even more important that you can validate yourself and be confident all on your own! How do you know if you’re not meant to be in a relationship? While a relationship and a partner can be an extra source of confidence, support, and morale, if you are searching for that validation from an external source when you can’t provide it yourself, it will lead to messy dynamics in your relationship later on. Seeking fulfillment solely from another person is unfair to that person, who is in turn now responsible for both themselves and for you. Work on loving yourself first before you ask someone else to do the same! You don’t know what you want. How do you know if you’re not meant to be in a relationship? If you don’t know what you want, whether in life or from a partner, you should figure that out first before you jump into a relationship, as this can seriously impact your relationship. Here are some of the questions you might want to consider. Where do you want to go to school? What do you want to be? Where do you want to live or settle down? Do you want kids? What kind of job, and what kind of working conditions, are you looking for? What do you want out of a partner? These are all important questions that need to be figured out first before you involve another person in your life and life decisions. You have unpacked emotional “baggage”. Are you still hung up on your ex or a past relationship? How are you meant to commit to a new person if you’re still at least partially committed to someone else? Make sure that you start each new relationship with a clean slate, a clear mind, and a focused heart. Otherwise, you’ll constantly be making comparisons between your previous and current partner, whether subconsciously or not. These comparisons are unfair to your current partner, who has no power to change or influence your past, and has to live up to some standard that simply isn’t them. You change yourself to fit what you think your partner will be attracted to. I feel like love is not meant for me. This is a big no-no. While we often find ourselves changing to reflect our relationships and our partners, intentionally changing aspects of yourself for someone else and not for yourself is a big red flag that you aren’t self-confident enough just yet. You want to be sure that at the end of any relationship, you still recognize yourself enough as the person you were before you start that relationship. If you aren’t sure of yourself and of your own personality enough that you change yourself to please someone else first, slow down. You’re feeling pressured to commit to a relationship or to be in one. How do you know if you’re not meant to be in a relationship? At the end of the day, a relationship is about you and your partner – nobody else. And even between you and your partner, your own wants and needs are what matters. If you are trying to be in a relationship to please other people and not yourself, this is a sign that you should bail out until you are ready, regardless of what anyone else wants from you. The person you are pursuing isn’t ready for a relationship or commitment. Remember, any relationship should be a two-way street. If you are ready to fully commit, 100%, but you seem to be constantly dragging your partner to catch up… then you should let them take some time, too. Calm down, take it slow. If it’ll be, then it’ll be. You simply don’t want one. This might be a no-brainer, but it’s more impactful than you’d think. Are you pursuing a relationship simply because it is what you feel that you should do? That it’s the next logical step in your life, regardless of whether you actively want it or not? This isn’t the 1800’s anymore – you aren’t required to be in a relationship at any stage in your life. If you don’t want to be in a relationship, then you shouldn’t be in one. It’s as easy as that. I Feel Like Love Is Not Meant For Me Conclusion I feel like love is not meant for me conclusion. Love most certainly is for you, because love is meant for everyone. Every single person on this earth is worthy of love from the moment they are born. In fact, scientists think that the need to be loved is one of our most basic and fundamental needs. It’s hardwired and it’s universal. I feel like love is not meant for me conclusion. We are all driven to seek love and to give love. But we all also experience times in our lives when we feel cut off from a source of love. We can feel lonely, isolated, or pessimistic about finding romantic love. If deep down you crave romantic partnership in your life, you can find it. But no matter what, it’s important to remember that love appears in many ways and is always all around you. 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