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I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage

I am desperate to save my marriage

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage. Marriages are a lot of hard work, so it is no surprise that some marriages fall apart. But how do marriages fail despite the hopeful note on which most of them start?

 

There are several reasons why marriages fail. It indicates a breakdown in the intimacy and bond that the couple share due to factors that may include:

 

  • Breakdown in communication
  • Infidelity
  • Loss of respect and understanding in the relationship
  • Constant arguments and fights
  • Lack of intimacy or sexual satisfaction
  • Incompatibility due to different life approaches, life goals, and temperament
  • Stress-related to financial pressures
  • Pent-up frustrations lead to permanent resentment
  • Religious differences
  • Pressures linked with disputes with extended family members

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage. Before you ask yourself, “How can I save my marriage? it is critical to assess whether you have genuine reasons and desire to do so.

 

Some relationships are beyond the point of repair and have no life left in them. Trying to save these hopeless marriages would be a waste of time and energy for both parties. Additionally, it can cause further emotional pain and frustration.

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage. You should assess whether your marriage is worth saving before taking any steps to save the marriage.

 

It’s indeed challenging to answer the question, ‘How to fix myself to save my marriage?’ Although it may certainly not be an easy task.

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage. You will have to assess your behaviour and be open to making changes. But if you love your partner and want to make things work, you will be highly motivated to make these changes.

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage. When a marriage starts to falter, one thing’s for sure: Each partner starts putting their personal needs over the needs of their relationship, says marriage and family.

 

That can make working through a tough situation almost impossible. And instead of being on the same page, it can feel like you’re almost always talking past each other.

 

Does that mean it’s time to consider a divorce? Not necessarily. Even if it feels like you and your partner have seriously drifted apart, there are ways to work through your problems and feel close again. You just have to be willing to put in the hard work.

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage.

Marriage is a major investment, so it can be tough to know for sure whether it’s time to cut your losses.

 

But unless you’re facing serial infidelity or physical or emotional abuse, most experts recommend making a legit effort to salvage the relationship before officially calling it quits.

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage. Start by taking an honest look at your history together. Aside from your current situation, has your relationship been good overall?

 

It’s normal to go through cycles of good and bad times—so if you’ve just hit a rough patch, it’s worth it to try and work through it.

 

It can also help to consider how people outside of your marriage would be affected by your divorce—including children, extended family, and even close friends.

 

It’s not just okay to work on your marriage for these stakeholders, it’s essential. Strong marriages create strong families and communities.

 

Finally, ask yourself if this is just a matter of you getting tricked into assuming that the grass is greener on the other side.

 

Many people fall into the trap of thinking that getting together with a different partner can make them happy, but problems tend to follow you if you don’t address them.

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage. If you have an issue that’s causing your current relationship to struggle—say, fibbing about your spending or getting jealous for no real reason—it’ll probably come up in your new relationship, too.

Is It Worth Trying To Save Marriage?

Is it worth trying to save my marriage

Is It Worth Trying To Save Marriage? Yes. If you haven’t noticed, love is one complicated beast. One second, everything seems great—the butterflies are fluttering every time you see your partner, and you have to ban yourself from sending heart-eyed emojis.

 

Then the next, you’re Googling how to file divorce papers. Sometimes, issues can be worked out and you can get that initial spark back once again, and other times, it might just be better to throw in the towel and move on.

 

Here are signs your marriage isn’t worth saving—and you’re better off letting that towel fly.

 

  • You Feel Unsafe

Your partner is supposed to be your protector—not someone who makes you feel unsafe in your own home.

 

And that’s one of the biggest reasons why to end a relationship, stat. If your safety and the safety of your children are being threatened, it may be better to move forward in your own physical space with your own life.

 

Is It Worth Trying To Save Marriage? Not when you’re a victim of abuse. It’s not fair to be kept in a state of fear and to continue to allow yourself to be abused, whether that’s emotionally or physically.”

 

  • They Cheated

It doesn’t matter if they cheated once or multiple times. If that distrust has affected you beyond what you can ever imagine fixing, it might be time to end your marriage.

 

Sometimes people can be forgiven and couples can move forward through a betrayal, but if you don’t foresee that ever happening, don’t stay in something that makes you unhappy.

 

At first, you were enthralled with your partner, ready to pounce the second they got home from work.

 

If you no longer feel that attraction after years of being married and instead feel like your once-spicy relationship has turned into a sparkless friendship, it could be a sign it’s time to rethink things. After all, you only have one life to live.

 

  • You Don’t Agree on Anything

Over time, people change—and unfortunately, that means your marriage can change, too. At first, everything felt easy-peasy with no worries.

 

Now, you have real problems to deal with and you’re no longer on the same page about any of ’em. If you can’t agree on anything and most of your time is spent arguing, that’s not good for anyone.

 

  • Progress Is One-Sided

Marriages take work from both sides—not just your own. A marriage may not be worth saving if your partner refuses to work on anything or take responsibility for creating a joint life.

 

If they call all the shots and none of your needs are ever heeded, you may decide that the only way to create a healthy relationship is by yourself or with someone new.

 

  • You No Longer Share Interests

In the beginning, mutual interests are one of the main things that attract people to each other.

 

If years into your relationship your interests have grown apart, that’s not uncommon. But successful relationships kind of require at least having something you enjoy doing together. Being married feels pointless if you’re spending all of your time apart.

How Long Should You Try To Save Your Marriage?

How long should you try to save your marriage

How Long Should You Try To Save Your Marriage? It is difficult to quantify the duration of trying to save your marriage. But within 3 months of trying, you should get indications if it’s going to work or not.

 

Here are tips to save your marriage:

 

  • Use Kindness When Discussing a Conflict of Interest

Many couples argue and become cruel over even the most mundane things. For example, they might fight over dirty dishes; however, dirty dishes usually have little to do with the actual argument.

 

The majority of the time, it has more to do with how the issue was brought up, the context of the conversation, and the meaning behind it.

 

Be Gentle With Your Spouse

It is interesting to see how gentle we can be with other people but not with our partners. If a friend or a person that you admire walks into your new car and spills a Gatorade all over your new seat, although it makes you upset, you will likely be gentle and say something like,

 

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it; I’ll clean it up.” Why is it so much easier to be gentle with other people and not with our spouses? Ask yourself that question and analyze what feelings come up.

 

  • Be Aware of Your Feelings

It can feel like your spouse is an expert at pointing out everything you do wrong, but only you can be the expert on how you are feeling.

 

Self-awareness takes work but it allows you to make more mindful choices. The only way to fully access your control over your feelings is to take time and analyze your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

 

Observe your emotions, try to label them, and embrace them. There are no wrong feelings, only wrong choices.

 

  • Know When to Take a Break

Once you become aware of your feelings, learn how to take a break during an argument.

 

How Long Should You Try To Save Your Marriage?  Kindly ask your spouse if you need 10 minutes to calm down before you continue the conversation. Just make sure you come back after 10 minutes.

 

Don’t use that time to think of ways to “win” the argument; instead, take deep breaths, practice a relaxation technique, and clear your mind. Remember that relationships are more important than being right.

 

  • Scan for the Positives

Look for your partner’s positive actions and characteristics daily. actively searching for a positive sentiment will make a huge difference in how you respond to negativity.

 

Our brain finds what it’s looking for, so if you are constantly looking for faults, you will always find them. On the other hand, if you consciously choose to look for positive attributes and actions, you will find them as well.

 

  • Listen With Empathy

If you can listen to what your spouse is truly saying, you will be able to empathize with them.

 

Once they feel that you understand their perspective, the argument usually turns into a dialogue. Validating your spouse’s feelings doesn’t mean that you are agreeing with them, it means that you can step into their shoes.

 

  • Stay Away From Criticism

Remember, criticizing your spouse will never have a positive result. The truth is, no one likes to feel attacked, and good intentions easily lead to bad outcomes.

 

After being in therapy for a while, many couples say how wonderful it is to feel heard and validated by their spouse. So, use your words wisely, always use “I” statements when addressing an issue, and state your needs and your feelings.

 

How Long Should You Try To Save Your Marriage? There’s no fixed duration for winning back your spouse’s heart. If you love them, just keep on trying.

How Do I Fix Myself To Save My Marriage?

how do I fix myself to save my marriage

How Do I Fix Myself To Save My Marriage?

No matter the reason, you still believe that the marriage can be saved from its impending demise, even if it means trying alone.

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage. Taking on the responsibility of resurrecting a crumbling partnership can feel like a huge burden.

 

But if you do this right and repair your relationship from scratch — carefully addressing one marital problem at a time instead of slathering a band-aid on a bursting wound — there might be hope for you yet.

 

Many people stay in bad relationships with the desire to change their partner. In Marriage, if you don’t change your part in a stuck pattern, no change will occur.

 

Change comes from the bottom up: that is from the person who is in the most pain, or who has the least power, or who has lost or compromised too much in the relationship.”

 

  • Focus on the issues at hand

When you focus on changing your partner, you miss the opportunity to work together to come up with a solution.

 

You’re no longer on the same team. Instead, focus on the issues at hand to meet both of your needs.

 

Anger is usually a symptom of underlying hurt, fear, and frustration, so speak in I statements and focus on expressing your feelings in a vulnerable way that invites your partner to understand your pain, rather than pushes them away.

 

We are responsible for how our words and actions make our partners feel. Apologize to your partner by taking responsibility for the problem, even just a small piece, and this will validate their feelings, promote forgiveness, and allow you both to move on.

 

and criticizing your partner is one of The Four Horsemen that predicts divorce. It is different from offering a critique or voicing a complaint.

 

Criticism attacks the core of a person’s character while a complaint focuses on a specific behaviour.

How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying

trying to save a marriage when only one is trying

How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying. You feel like all the passion, love, and romance have completely faded.

 

You feel like you and your partner can’t stop yelling at each other.

 

And maybe you feel that there’s almost nothing you can do to save your marriage, no matter how hard you try.

 

But you’re wrong.

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage. You CAN save your marriage — even if you’re the only one trying.

 

The Problem: The first and most serious problem you need to resolve: if you’re the only one trying to save the marriage, that means that the clock is over for your partner.

 

Their internal timebomb has gone off, and in their head, the marriage is over and past the point of no return.

 

Any effort made moving forward won’t be truly considered, because they’re already planning for a life without you, rather than fixing the life with you.

 

The Solution: Negotiate for time. Do whatever you have to do to convince them that you need time.

 

And while it can take months (if not years) to truly get your relationship back to a self-sustaining and happy place, you need to start small: ask your partner for days and weeks rather than months.

 

 

  • Don’t Try to Easy Way Out

The Problem: You’re tired, you’re distressed, and you’re emotionally exhausted.

 

You want the marriage to be okay again, but you’re also hurt and betrayed by the fact that your partner no longer wants to put in the effort that you’re willing to invest.

 

So you want to cut corners and try the easy way out: instead of winning your partner back with love, you try to win them back with emotional blackmail.

 

Emotional blackmail is most commonly done in the form of pressure tactics.

 

You try to rationalize the relationship, turning their commitment into an act of logic rather than an act of love.

 

  • Protect Your Perspective

The Problem: Everything will be working against you. If you’re the only one trying to save the marriage, you will constantly face a barrage of mental obstacles and barriers trying to convince you it’s a bad idea.

 

From your friends to your colleagues to your family, and even to the inner voice in your head; everyone will be telling you to just give up and move on.

 

The Problem: A marriage at the point of its death will look like a menagerie of problems and issues.

 

It’ll be like a tangle of dozens of wires and cables, where you don’t even know where to start in trying to fix it.

 

Years of arguments and resentments have led to this, and getting back to square one means untangling the most important issues first, and that means identifying them from all the emotional chaos.

Can An Unhappy Marriage Be Saved?

can an Unhappy Marriage Be Saved

Can An Unhappy Marriage Be Saved? There is no one right answer to the question “Can you save an unhappy marriage?” There are just too many situational variables involved.

 

However, by reflecting on your relationship and the stage it is in, hopefully, you can discover your answers on how to proceed.

 

When the colour in your marriage fades to shades of grey, is your marriage lost forever? When you and your spouse can’t even agree to disagree, can you ever find your way back to the same vision? when the memory of happiness seems to have evaporated?

 

Can An Unhappy Marriage Be Saved? If all you want is a yes-or-no answer to the question of an unhappy marriage’s salvageability, you can stop reading here. The answer, of course, is yes.

 

But that assumes a black-and-white definition of “saving a marriage.”

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage. If your goal is to keep your marriage certificate in one piece and your assets under one roof, you can “save” your marriage on sheer determination alone.

 

But marriage, like life expectancy, has evolved over the years.

 

Can An Unhappy Marriage Be Saved? The answer is a cautious “yes.” The caution is because the success of saving a marriage is contingent on the commitment of the partners to…well…save their commitment.

 

Surprisingly, if even one person in the relationship is committed to growth, change, and working together, there can be great hope for the marriage.

 

Here are 7 strategies for saving an unhappy marriage:

Seek help early.

 

Don’t wait for those negative emotions and behaviours to take root. It is far easier to guide couples in developing compassionate communication skills than it is to untangle resentment that has had plenty of time to deepen.

 

  • Learn to listen.

This is so important no matter how silly it sounds. It is so easy when falling in love to hear what you want to hear and to move forward in the spirit of everything being rosy.

 

But too often people don’t know how to truly listen – to themselves or their spouses. They get lost in blame and a need to be right and fail to hear with their hearts.

 

Everyone has triggers, fears, and painful memories. By learning to communicate those deeper realities with responsible expression and compassionate reception, intimacy and love grow. Too many relationships are lost simply because people don’t feel heard.

 

Saving an unhappy marriage takes work. And making that investment can seem like a contradiction in terms of one or both of you being real.

 

But if you are committed to making your marriage work, you will need to infuse it with dedicated time and energy.

 

  • Work on yourself with no expectations of your spouse.

Yes, the objective here is for both spouses to be committed to the recovery of the marriage. But your work can’t be contingent on your spouse’s.

 

  • Be transparent and accountable.

Leave your pride at the door. Transparency and accountability require self-reflection and an examination of your thoughts, behaviours, and intentions.

 

There is no room for convenient omissions of details and information. Your goal needs to be bringing you and your spouse onto the same page.

What Are Signs That Your Marriage Is Over?

What are signs that your Marriage Is over

What Are Signs That Your Marriage Is Over?

Marriage is tough, marriage is work, and marriage is a full-time job. It is something that takes a lot of time to grow and requires you to learn, grow, and compromise.

 

During this journey of learning, growing, and developing, sometimes, for various reasons, people drift away from one another.

 

As individuals and couples, we put a lot of time, money, energy, and sweat equity into building a marriage. But, if it doesn’t work out, for some, it is hard to admit it.”

 

Before you get blindsided by your spouse walking away, it’s time to discover the signs your marriage is over.

 

The single life can be great, with few responsibilities to others other than making sure your bills get paid on time.

 

However, if you’re married and are still acting like you’re not in a committed relationship, that’s a major red flag.

 

  • Imagining your spouse with someone else doesn’t hurt you.

Your marriage might be over if you love them but aren’t in love with them. Perhaps you imagine a life without them and imagine them with someone else, and you are not hurt by it.

 

You genuinely want them to be happy as a person, but you do not want to grow and spend your life with them.”

 

There’s a big difference between living together and sharing a life with someone.

 

In some marriages, couples live together, but that is it. They mentally checked out years ago. They go about their daily lives separately, sleep in different rooms, and are not intimate with one another.

 

They have very little emotion and communication with one another. If you see your spouse as your ‘roommate,’ this is one subtle sign that your marriage might be coming to a close.”

 

If you see yourself 10 or 15 years down the line living a different kind of life than your spouse, it’s time to start wondering if your marriage will stand the test of time.

 

For most couples who make their marriage work, that means being on the same page regarding what your life will look like in the future.

 

And while shifts can happen, if you need to be single to make those changes occur, that’s one of the clearest signs your marriage is over, or about to be.

 

  • The two of you don’t have sex anymore.

Sex isn’t everything in a marriage, but it’s not anything, either. Of course, you may not be having sex multiple times a day like you did when you got together.

 

But if you’re both physically and mentally healthy enough for sex but go months or even years without it, that’s a surefire sign your relationship is seriously off-kilter.

 

  • You’re making major money moves without your spouse’s knowledge.

Is it okay to have separate bank accounts, or to make that daily Starbucks run without consulting your spouse first? Of course.

 

However, if you’re making major purchases—a motorcycle here, an all-expenses-paid solo vacation there—without even thinking of consulting your spouse, that’s one of many signs your marriage is over.

 

Financial issues are a major contributor to marital breakdown. A 2017 survey from Magnify Money reveals that financial issues were responsible for the divorces of 21 per cent of respondents.

 

  • You want to cheat.

If you have consistent thoughts about cheating on your spouse in general (regardless of acting on it), you may need to consider why you are beginning to have these thoughts so you can improve the health of your marriage if you so desire.

 

  • You’re having an “emotional affair.”

If you are finding yourself talking with or texting another person in a manner that you wouldn’t want your spouse to see, or you begin meeting up with someone you fantasize about cheating with, despite whether or not there was any physical intimacy, you are risking your marriage and this is a sign your marriage is headed for an ending.

When To Call It Quits In A Marriage?

when to call it quits in a Marriage

When To Call It Quits In A Marriage? If there is one thing that all human beings know, it’s that relationships are not easy.

 

It’s not easy to spot all of the red flags when you get started with someone new, and it’s not going to be you who first spots the toxicity going on around you.

 

It sounds sad, but when you are in it, it’s so much harder to see anything wrong. You won’t know that it’s time to call it quits until it’s too late and everyone else in your life has already seen it!

 

Communication is the centre of every strong relationship and if you’re not communicating, you’re going to quickly see the fractures in your relationship.

 

You have to be comfortable about talking through tough topics as much as you are about the good things in life.

 

When you find yourself responding with “fine” every time you’re asked if you’re okay – even when you’re not – there’s a problem.

 

The person you married is someone that you should be able to talk to. This is the time to end the relationship if you are spending more time avoiding communicating than actually doing it.

 

  • There Is Addiction In The Mix

Alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, work – you name it, you can be addicted to it. When addiction is in the mix of the relationship, you will feel as if your relationship is infected.

 

Whichever one of you is currently dealing with addiction may not be willing to stop the behaviour, and that’s when you can tell that the relationship is done for.

 

If you are with a partner who refuses to get help for their addiction, you will need to know when to draw the line with the relationship.

 

Walking away is often the healthier thing to do for the relationship in general, but you have to know when walking away is the right thing for you.

 

Something bad happens, they apologize and promise change, change doesn’t happen, rinse and repeat.

 

Over and over again the patterns of deceit keep occurring and whether it’s lying, cheating, or an emotional affair, deceit is a killer for relationships.

 

Everyone makes mistakes and when a pattern is starting to emerge, you need to stop questioning this relationship and get out of it – run, screaming from it if you must!

 

  • You Feel Differently

It’s a good reason to leave a relationship, isn’t it? We grow and evolve as people, and we’re individuals who have thoughts and feelings that change and mature.

 

Sometimes, your growth patterns don’t go together, and you grow apart instead of coming together as you should have.

 

If you find that you are feeling less romantic toward your partner, then the best thing that you can do is to walk away while you can.

 

  • You No Longer Respect Each Other

It’s easy to see when this one disappears! You should mutually respect each other even when you disagree on certain points, but you need to communicate about this when this happens.

 

You should respond to each other with love and understanding so that you are feeling secure and happy together, and if respect is lacking, you need to call it quits. No one should feel disrespected in their relationship.

 

  • You Just Don’t Care

When emotion is absent in how you speak to your partner, and you can’t feel anything towards them, it may be time to run for the hills.

 

What relationship is based on convenience? A bad one. Don’t make your relationship convenient – make it emotional.

 

  • It’s Drama, Drama, Drama

If there is a crisis you are supposed to help each other through it.

 

When there is excess drama in a relationship, it’s exhausting. Don’t stick around for too much of that; make sure this relationship makes you feel good.

 

  • It’s Taking All Your Effort

You should feel seamless and effortless together. If your relationship requires too much effort, you may have already given up.

How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying

how to save a marriage when only one is trying 2

How To Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying. The 300% increase in the number of couples consulting a marriage counsellor indicates that couples are not completely denying their marriage a second chance.

 

Unfortunately, in some cases, couples tend to have contradictions regarding their marriage; one wants to leave while the other is not ready to give up.

 

Fixing a broken marriage single-handedly is a Herculean task, but not impossible. With perseverance and practice, optimistic thinking, there is a possibility of saving a marriage, even if only one spouse is trying.

 

We’ve made a list of tips to help you figure out how to save a marriage when only one is trying.

 

Visiting a marriage counsellor individually and for joint sessions will buy you the time you need, as well as take you both toward the right track to saving your marriage. The key here is being honest to yourself as well as your counsellor.

 

With the help of counselling, I always try to make sure that the couples can talk to each other, instead of always yelling at each other.

 

You would be surprised to find out just how good a coffee date with a spouse can do, especially when things seem to be falling apart.

 

  • Negotiate for time

Now that your partner has made up their mind to end the marriage, the first thing you have to do is to negotiate a time frame.

 

Everyone deserves a second chance, and convincing your partner to try and stay on board for a while longer might just bear fruit. Assuming that things do not change for the good, then they are free to go their separate ways.

 

Based on how much time you have, you will have to come up with a practical and effective plan to save your marriage.

 

If your husband is not trying to save the marriage or you’re thinking about how to save a marriage when she wants out, let them know the reasons why you would want them to give it a little time and what you hope to achieve with it.

 

  • Change your perception

You may have valid reasons not to give up on marriage, but there is something that you are not doing right, or even by the right method, which is making it difficult for you to save your relationship.

 

You will have to figure out the things that you need to change before starting your journey toward your marriage revival.

 

The issues could be anything, from the way your personality is or your attitude toward life. Focus on the things your spouse has a problem with and try to address them.

 

Take stock of your own negative or toxic behavioural traits and make the effort to change them.

 

If your partner sees this change in you, you have completed a major task of making them aware that you are trying your best to save your marriage, without actually saying it.

 

Instead of passively trying to figure out, “How to save my marriage when she doesn’t want to?” or “What to do when your spouse gives up on marriage?”, try to take some action by getting back on track with your life and responsibilities.

 

  • Do not use pressure tactics

Trying to emotionally blackmail your partner by using your relatives, money, sex, guilt, or your children is criminal.

 

Using any of these pressure tactics can backfire with serious repercussions. You are shutting all doors that lead your spouse to you by playing such games.

 

Therefore, you must stay away from using pressure tactics on your spouse because they won’t work.

 

You cannot force a person to live with you; even if you manage to do so, it will be a dead relationship.

 

Using hurtful words to express your hurt will end up hurting your spouse, leaving them with no other option but to lose hope in what you have.

 

If your husband is not trying to save the marriage or your wife wants out, make sure you don’t resort to any nasty pressure tactics.

 

Fighting to save your marriage all by yourself can leave you exhausted and perturbed, but that’s the time you will have to motivate yourself.

 

Remind yourself of all the things that made you fall in love with your partner. Remind yourself of your reasons not to give up on marriage; it will take away the focus from the pain they have caused you.

 

Get your support system ready, be it your best friend, your parents, or a relative. Pour your heart out to them whenever you need to and tell them to help you get back on track whenever you’re out of focus.

 

This way, you can move forward toward achieving your goal without carrying any emotional baggage.

 

  • Focus on real issues

Every marriage goes through its fair share of ups and downs, but if it has reached a point where one is ready to leave forever, the issue may seem irresolvable.

 

Whatever the reasons for your discord, whether it is incompatibility, infidelity, or a financial or social issue, it has to be addressed immediately.

 

First, you have to comprehend the issue and then make your spouse understand that one problem is not worth ending your marriage for.

 

Instead of focusing on blame-shifting in a relationship, you will have to come up with solutions to resolve conflict.

 

This is the time when your patience level and your self-respect will be tested. Absolve whatever you can, as long as you feel it can save your marriage from falling apart.

 

  • Give and ask for space

“Of course, you need to talk to each other if one has emotionally checked out of the marriage, but make sure there’s no stalking.

 

Don’t irritate your partner. You need to put your best face on to be able to get them back. When you get some space in your life again, you’re able to work on yourself.

 

Your self-confidence, your feelings, and your emotions need to be worked upon,” explains Gopa.

 

Sometimes all you need is a break to gain a little perspective on what’s happening. When you are overwhelmed with life-changing decisions, you may miss some important aspects that could entirely change everything. Space in a relationship is important.

 

Give your spouse that space and time to contemplate their decisions. It is paramount if you’re trying to figure out how to save a marriage when only one is trying.

 

  • Face the truth

Finally, after all your efforts, if your spouse is still not willing to be in the marriage, then it’s time you shift your focus from the pain that the separation will cause you, to the next course of action.

 

Be true to yourself; make a checklist of the possible outcomes of the divorce.

 

It is the end of the marriage, not the end of you. Keep your coping mechanisms ready, whether it’s a holiday or spending time with loved ones, or engaging in hobbies and things you love doing.

 

Reinvent yourself, and for all you know, your spouse may come back to this new improved you.

 

So, can one person save a marriage? On paper, marriages last because two people choose to fight for them and to work for them.

 

But when things go awry, the points we listed can hopefully help you out. At the end of the day, you can do your part and wait for the result. If it works, great, but if not, then at least you know you tried.

Can I Save My Marriage Quiz

can I Save My Marriage Quiz

Can I Save My Marriage Quiz. Answer the following questions to determine if your marriage can still be saved.

 

  1. How long have you been unhappy in your marriage?

 

 

Ages – years

 

  1. Not that long – a few weeks

 

  1. It seems like a long time – months

 

  1. How long have you been married?

 

  1. For a few years

 

  1. For more than six years

 

  1. Not that long – a few months

 

Can I Save My Marriage Quiz. 3. How do you feel about your partner right now?

 

  1. I hate them – I just want a way out

 

  1. Some parts are OK; others, I don’t like at all

 

  1. They’re OK – just not what I

 

  1. When did you two last have a good, deep conversation about something important to you?

 

 

  1. A few weeks ago

 

  1. Years ago/Never

 

  1. A few months ago

 

  1. When you did last speak (deeply), were you happy with the outcome?

 

 

  1. It wasn’t that good, really

 

  1. It was OK

 

  1. It was good – I enjoyed it

 

  1. What are you most unhappy with?

 

  1. We’re both busy doing our own thing. We don’t have time for each other

 

  1. Our kids/families take up most of our time, so there’s no fun

 

  1. We just can’t seem to talk

 

  1. Can I Save My Marriage Quiz. How satisfied are you with your love life?

 

  1. When it happens it’s OK – could be better

 

  1. It’s OK – that part is working fine

 

  1. Not Happy at all

 

  1. Do you ever imagine yourself being with someone else?

 

  1. All the time

 

  1. Sometimes

 

  1. Never

 

  1. What do you like most about your partner?

 

  1. Their character

 

  1. I can’t think of anything

 

  1. Their looks

 

  1. Do you enjoy your holidays together?

 

  1. Not really

 

  1. Yes – we happily spend time together

 

  1. They’re OK – they could be better, though

 

  1. If you could find a way to fix your marriage, would you want to know what it was?

 

  1. Maybe – it depends on what would be involved

 

  1. Not really

 

  1. Yes, please

 

  1. If you could leave your partner now with no guilt or recriminations, would you?

 

  1. Yes – just get me out

 

  1. Maybe – it sounds tempting, but I’m not sure

 

  1. No way – I just want things to be better

10 Steps To Save My Marriage

10 steps to save my marriage

10 Steps To Save My Marriage. Learn the 10 steps that can rekindle the sparks in your Marriage below

 

  1. See the Marriage You Have

Before you have any chance of saving your marriage, you have to see your marriage. Not the marriage you think you have or the marriage you want to have or even the marriage you used to have, but the marriage that sits in front of you today. See the pitfalls and see the potential.

 

  1. Establish Boundaries

Take some time to solidify your thoughts about the marriage you want. What are your non-negotiables? Have they changed throughout the marriage?

 

How long are you willing to live in limbo while the marriage is being worked on? Does that change if you’re the only one expending effort?

 

  1. Put On Your Gloves

Put on your gloves; it’s gonna get dirty. No, not the boxing gloves. The work gloves. Staying with the status quo is easy. Change is difficult. And change when it deals with emotions and ego and fear and family? Yeah.

 

Part of saving a marriage is being willing to do the dirty work. It’s facing the truth about your hang-ups and fears.

 

And it’s being willing to face your partner’s independent thoughts and intentions. There’s no room for deflection or defensiveness. You will get muddy. Just accept it.

 

  1. Apply Your Oxygen Mask

At the end of the day, your choices and actions are the only ones that you can control. So make sure they’re adaptive ones.

 

Dig into your triggers and unresolved issues. Get help if you need it. If life has become stagnant, re-engage in your passions and interests.

 

Put yourself on your to-do list and take responsibility for ensuring that your needs are met.

 

It is not your spouse’s job to make you happy. Or safe. Or fulfilled. That’s on you. A marriage is only healthy if both individuals are healthy.

 

  1. 10 Steps To Save My Marriage. Replace Blame With Appreciation

Who would you rather spend time with – somebody who constantly accuses you of wrongdoing or somebody who recognizes your efforts and attributes?

 

It’s easy to point out someone’s shortcomings in the hope that they will change. But that only backfires. Instead, nurture the good in your partner. Let them know that you see and appreciate their assets.

 

  1. Be Intentional

Think of saving for a marriage like applying for a business loan. Before issuing a check, the bank would want to know your overall business goals, the steps you’re going to take to reach them, the tools and support you will need, and your plans for various setbacks.

 

  1. Introduce Novelty

One of the most common utterances from people who have had affairs is that it “makes them feel alive.”

 

And that’s no accident. We all adapt to our surroundings and no longer notice what is always there. And that even holds for spouses.

 

Now, luckily, you don’t need to seek out a different bed to spice things up. Break out of your routine.

 

Engage in a new activity and allow yourself to see your spouse in a different light. Don’t worry about what you “should” do. Let go and embrace the curiosity and wonder of a child.

 

  1. 10 Steps To Save My Marriage. Re-Imagine Your Marriage

The marriage you have isn’t working. Maybe it’s time to change how it looks. To survive, a marriage has to be adaptable.

 

Life always changes. Kids come and go. Careers shift. Demands come and go. And the marriage that worked at one life stage may not work in another. If you want to save your marriage, you may need to reinvent your marriage.

 

  1. Refrain From Grasping

It’s natural to grip tightly when you’re afraid that something is slipping away from you. The problem with grasping is twofold:

 

First, it serves to smother your partner, encouraging him or her to escape to breathe. Secondly, grasping is based on fear and that fear will blind you to reality.

 

  1. Make the Marriage Your Priority

Sometimes, we get so fixated on our spouse that we lose focus on the bigger picture. If you want to save the marriage, make the marriage your priority.

 

Even in those moments when you’re mad at your spouse, stay committed to the relationship.

 

Make sure your words and actions align with your goal. Set your ego to the side; it will be bruised.

 

But it can take it. Face your fears. I know it’s scary. The first step always is. But then the second step is easier.

How To Save A Broken Marriage And When To Call It Quits

how to save a broken Marriage and when to call it quits

How To Save A Broken Marriage And When To Call It Quits. If you’ve tried everything in a bid to save your marriage and your partner isn’t coming around. It just might be time to leave. Call it quits if your partner still exhibits the following

 

No matter how hard you try to engage your partner it doesn’t seem to work. You try the nice voice and the sweet thoughts.

 

You try yelling and threatening. It doesn’t matter. You get little to no response.

 

  • Consistent Negativity

You don’t seem to communicate outside of what is necessary and even then the content remains negative.

 

Most of the things you say to each other reflect black and white thinking, “You never” or “I always”.

 

At this point, you probably can’t make decisions on seemingly insignificant options like where to go for dinner or who is picking up the kids.

 

  • You Feel in Your Heart the Relationship is Unhealthy

You’ve tried everything you know to do to improve your relationship. Talk to your friends and read too many relationship books.

 

In your heart, you know that you can’t keep going on like this. You can feel the energy between the two of you isn’t getting any better, it’s either the same or worse.

 

  • Unwillingness to Change

It takes two to tango. You’re not perfect, and neither is your partner. You both see areas in yourselves that need to change to make the relationship work.

 

However, neither of you seems to have the motivation to make those changes.

 

You’ve begged your partner to see a counsellor. Maybe you’ve gone to one or two appointments without much buy-in from your partner.

 

Overall, you feel a strong resistance personally or from your partner to engaging in counselling.

 

Maybe you can identify with some or all of these red flags. You may be asking yourself, “What do I do next?”

 

Every couple is different but if you see these things in your relationship, things have to change. The relationship problems won’t resolve on their own.

How To Save A Marriage When There Is No Trust

how to save a marriage when there is no trust

How To Save A Marriage When There Is No Trust. You see, trust in marriage can be built and made stronger over time. Even after trust has been broken, if both spouses work together, it can be rebuilt using these three proven steps:

 

transparency, consistency, and effective communication, even when it may be difficult.

 

How to save a marriage where there is no trust. Trust is one of the best perks we can have through our marriage. Truly knowing someone, having them know you, and being truly loved and accepted for who you are, is truly the best feeling in the world.

 

 

  • Promise yourself, and each other that you will be truthful and honest even if it hurts.

 

  • Share your secrets, especially the pains and struggles you go through every day.

 

  • Learn to fight fair and healthily.

 

  • Stop lying. It will only make things worse.

 

  • Be aware of the damages caused, accept your wrongdoings and be responsible.

 

  • Keep your promises.

 

  • Listen and pay attention to your spouse.

 

  • Take the blame game away.

 

  • Allow your spouse to earn your trust.

 

  • Trust in marriage is mutual. It takes two to make it happen. So, make sure your spouse is on board.

 

  • Be yourself and be real.

 

  • Be open to counselling or seeing a marriage coach if need be.

 

  • Forgive your spouse.

 

  • Develop a plan of action and execute it.

 

  • Accept that it will take time and patience.

 

  • Show your spouse you love and appreciate them.

 

  • Set boundaries in your marriage to prevent a repeat of the same trust issues that caused the trust to be broken and betrayed.

 

If your spouse is willing to trust you again, you can always earn their trust back. The difficult part is when your spouse doesn’t want to trust you again because of one or multiple betrayals like sexual infidelity.

 

In that case, you will both have to talk about what your marriage will look like without trust. It will be a difficult conversation, but one to have sooner, rather than later.

How I Saved My Marriage

how I Saved my marriage

How I Saved My Marriage. I recently read a story on quora on how a user was able to save his marriage and I’d like to share it with you. Read below

 

How I Saved My Marriage. “By having a surgical procedure, trust me.

 

We had an arranged married in 2010 and even after 3 years of marriage; our sex life had issues. Which has also caused unnecessary friction in our marital life.

 

It was primarily because I had a condition wherein it caused pain while having intercourse resulting in no orgasm/ejaculation.

 

I could never have sex for more than a minute due to pain (Yes it happened all this while, I was a prude guy and always thought that there was nothing wrong with me that prevented me from consulting a doctor).

 

After 3 years of bad sex life and being childless due to my fault, my wife left me and went back to her hometown.

 

Due to some pressure from her parents regarding children; she broke down and told them that I’m impotent and couldn’t have sex properly.

 

Her parents had a very orthodox mindset. Now they were considering divorce (since I’m supposedly impotent in their view) and humiliation within my family, friends, and relatives was in the offing.

 

One day my mom had a mild fever (the greatest thing ever happened in my life), I took her to a local clinic and the doctor noticed me sitting dejectedly.

 

He asked me if there is anything wrong, I spoke my heart out and told him everything regarding my sex life and how it’s now causing turbulence in my marriage.

 

He took me to a room and asked all sorts of questions, like; does it erect fine, what happens when you insert your penis?

 

Finally, he made me take off my pants, analyzed my penis’ structure, and confirmed that I have a very minor condition called ‘Phimosis’ which can be fixed with circumcision (a surgical procedure).

 

He was optimistic that it’ll help my sexual life as well. Spent 8000 rupees on the surgery (the best that I’ve ever spent).

 

Post the surgery (she doesn’t know at this time I had surgery), I visited my wife after 2 months in her hometown to convince her to come back into my life, we had a heated argument and my wife finally said I’ll see if I can try convincing my parents about this, but she was giving me signs that our marriage might end sooner or later.

 

How I Saved My Marriage. The same night, we had steamy make-up sex, enjoyed it thoroughly, and whoa! For the first time, I ejaculated inside her (one positive sign of the surgery, but I was still not sure if everything is good), and returned to my home the next day.

 

After a couple of months, I saw my wife knocking at the door at 10:00 pm and as soon as I saw her I had a bad feeling that her parents wanted us to be separated forever.

 

She was silent for a while, took a shower, and told me that she was hungry, so I ordered a pizza for her.

 

She initiated the conversation by saying that my parents have certainly said mean things behind your back and tarnished your image and I extremely apologize for this has happened.

 

Finally, she gave me the most wonderful news in my life “I’m Pregnant” and words cannot express my joy that night. We cuddled and slept that night, she went on to deliver a healthy baby boy.

 

I love my kid so much and pamper him a lot to this day; he’s the reason that fixed our marriage, he happened to be the grease between two rusty wheels you know.

 

And one day when he grows up, I’ll certainly tell him about this part of my life and make him understand how important he is to me.

 

We’re expecting another baby this year and I hope it’ll be a girl (just to complete the circle).

 

So, yeah, all you folks out there; never be shy or embarrassed about a situation in your life, always try taking advice from an expert.

 

Who knows what could’ve happened had I not told the doctor about my condition that day, maybe ended up in a divorce, and later if I had known that I had a very benign condition would’ve devastated me for life.”

I Want To Save My Marriage But My Husband Doesn’t

i want to save my marriage but my husband doesnt

I Want To Save My Marriage But My Husband Doesn’t. People do things for different reasons. This doesn’t imply you did something that made your husband respond differently from what you expected or wanted.

 

Consequently, it doesn’t mean you are the reason for his change in attitude towards your marriage.

 

I Want To Save My Marriage But My Husband Doesn’t. Your primary goal is to find out why he is not interested in saving the marriage, and from there you can seek solutions.

 

The problem with most people is they want to jump to conclusions and find possible solutions right away. This often does more harm than good and doesn’t move your relationship forward.

 

Here are possible reasons why your husband is not fighting for your marriage

 

  • THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE

Yes, it is heartbreaking, but it is one of the most common reasons why married men lose interest in their marriage.

 

The Institute for Family Studies says about 20% of married men report cheating on their wives.

 

There’s a good chance another woman has caught his attention, and he’s thinking about her all the time. If this is the case, you have a decision to make – should you fight for your marriage or leave?

 

If you opt for the former, then there’s hope. Statistics favour this, as 60 to 80% of couples survive infidelity. Some even say they are happier. Either way, the decision is entirely up to you.

 

This is probably the easiest to recognize and solve. Unfortunately, it is so common that people simply tend to overlook it.

 

For some men, a stable relationship is dull. And what used to be a passionate romance becomes a routine as time passes, and the marriage can become stagnant.

 

He has lost that fire of excitement. This could be happening to your partner right now.

 

This doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love you anymore.

 

If you feel this is the case, then your relationship is still in a good place, believe it or not. It can be easily fixed with professional help, such as marriage counselling.

 

Also, there is no way you have both done everything humanly possible to keep the fire burning.

 

You simply need a break, such as a long vacation to get away from your boring and monotonous daily routine.

 

  • HE MAY BE GOING THROUGH TOUGH TIMES

It could be because of his job, finances, or the loss of a loved one. Men go through crises differently than women.

 

In many cases, they can be emotionally detached in their relationship while going through tough times.

 

There’s no need to talk much about losing a loved one, as most people know how it can affect anyone and their relationship. The best way to go about it is to seek professional help.

 

Therapy can go a long way, especially for someone who has become aggressive and self-destructive.

 

However, if the problem arises from a financial situation, then you should know that men are twice as likely to feel the financial burden on their relationship than women.

 

This report shows the kind of pressure men are facing in today’s society. Though both men and women are expected to work and provide for their families, the former’s ego comes into play when they face financial difficulties. This could negatively affect the marriage

 

  • HE WANTS HIS FREEDOM

Some men see marriage as the shackle that keeps them from enjoying life. Some men who stop fighting for marriage feel they are stuck in their marriage and want their freedom back.

 

However, note that this doesn’t happen overnight, but it is usually triggered by something.

 

It could be due to a flirtatious co-worker, feeling jealous after seeing his friends “living it up”, or simply feeling frustrated about how their relationship is going.

 

This is a tell-tale sign of a troubled marriage. It shows unhappiness that can’t be simply fixed with communication. It’s so much deeper than that.

 

If this is the case, then your husband needs help. His assumptions and expectations for your marriage are skewed.

 

It may have deteriorated due to the concept of feeling trapped and his longing for freedom. This concept must be changed before your husband changes.

 

  • He wants to fight for and fix the marriage but doesn’t know how

Both men and women have different ways of navigating through life.

 

Just because you feel your husband won’t fight for your marriage doesn’t necessarily mean you are right.

 

Your husband may want to fix your relationship, but he doesn’t know how or where to start, simply because he views the problem differently than you.

How To Save My Marriage From Divorce

how to save my marriage from divorce

How To Save My Marriage From Divorce. Every couple’s situation and circumstances are different. So, too, are the reasons they drifted apart, ranging from a lack of communication to cheating.

 

Still, there are certain exercises you can do as a couple and individual, plus small steps you can take with your partner now to increase love, trust, and intimacy in the hopes of keeping you together. Here are a few places to start:

 

  • Map it out.

Individually and as a couple, Torres-Gregory suggests writing down the following: how you started as a couple, what attracted you to your partner, where you are now, how you got here, and where you want to go.

 

  • Turn inward.

Thank romantic comedies, for giving us idyllic expectations for love. “You need to be fulfilled individually, rather than expecting your partner to fulfill everything. Your partner does not have to “complete” you—and shouldn’t.

 

  • Stop assuming.

Your partner asks a question: “Are the bowls clean?” and you lay into them—why are they always saying that you don’t do your part to care for the house? Can’t they see you’re swamped with life and work, too?

 

When couples have been together for a long time, they think they know each other. They begin to assume the other’s thinking and motivations and get angry and reactive to these assumptions,”

 

  • Set rules for the relationship.

How to save my marriage from divorce. Mutual respect and trust are necessary for a happy marriage, and if those two things have been lost, you’ll need to find them again.

 

Couples get into ways of interacting with each other and they don’t question it. They keep doing it.

 

You two need to play together—ya know, like the old days. Go out once or twice a week for a date where you don’t discuss problems (or kids, if you have them).

 

Go back to the basics. What did you do before you were married that you’re not doing now? What did you do when you first fell in love?

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage Conclusion

i am desperate to save my marriage Conclusion

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage Conclusion. To start putting in the work to save your marriage, try the following tips: use kindness when discussing a conflict, be gentle, and practice self-awareness.

 

I Am Desperate To Save My Marriage Conclusion. Know when it’s time to take a break, look for positives, listen with empathy, give each other space, practice self-care, stay away from the four horsemen, and seek help from a couples therapist.

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